28. Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

Mariella woke up from bed. Damon would soon bring breakfast. Then, they would leave for the Azores again. Damon was golden, always wanting time with her, not Mimi. They always had so much fun in the Azores. They had so perfect relationship and everything was just wonderful. She did not know anything that could be even more beautiful in life. 

I woke up in the dark, safe. The feeling of being medicated and panicked was gone now. My body had chopped it all off now. I was thin and weak, but full of the will to survive. To go forward. I staggered to eat. I knew that I needed some medical help, someone to check me over and there was only one who I thought that I could ask. Colin.

As for that year, I made a place in my head so deep, so secret no one would ever find it, and put everything that had happened there. I sealed the place. Now, no one could use those memories to their advantage. I had a mission to get well. First, I called Colin. I told him what happened, and that Damon made a spell so no one could remember that year. Knowledge of that was just in my mind, put there by his spell. I knew that he had done it to protect Mariella and others. No one could take my shit. And then to track down the witches who were wrecking the past.

But I also had a responsibility. I was an alpha female. I had a responsibility to my pack—a responsibility to breed. I looked at the calendar. Three months, I had been in a medical panic feeling for three months. I hid that fact, too. The pack had me, but in fact, I didn't have a pack.

Not in the sense I had previously assumed. My pack operates on facts. Not what I tell them. If the facts say something other than me, then the facts they believe are not me. Colin understood me, he was very worried, and he gave me the address to his clinic where I could come and no one would know.

I had still no vampire fangs, and I had no idea did I had cobalt or other metals in my system. My physical well-being was first in line to get in shape and then, only then, my mental could recover. My alpha side mourned her cubs and did not want Damon. Even though I was an alpha female, she did not trust him, and neither did I. 

I flew with my jet to America to Colin's clinic and he was waiting for me at the airport actually. He looked at my very skinny frame and said to me, "You, my lady should be asleep, feeding for a few weeks so we can get your body in a little bit of shape but let's see where we are once I check you over. What you went through, how your pack is full of idiots and manipulators, is so wrong for you and me. How can you go back to them? They don't trust a word you say and only look at the past, which can be manipulated."

I replied, "I am an alpha female. I have duties and let's see where we end up. Damon is the only one who knows what happened and I am a living reminder of that, so I guess that our relationship will be artic. He can try, but he can't do it. I need you to check me over. I already had put a lot of fleas into finding out everything about those past witches and also a good bunch going after Sark. I am not forgetting this, not at all. "

Colin drove us to the clinic, Damon had told me as he had noticed me being active that they would now have a three-month vacation at the Azores, and after that, it would be time to be in the pack. I mentioned this to Colin, too. We went inside. There was no one here, and Colin assured me we would be the only one here.

He looked me over, put me lying in bed, and gave me drops again because my straps had taken a hell of a beating and then I fell asleep. Not even realize it at first, but Colin stroked my skinny frame. He had put a warm blanket over me and told me I would need a few operations and TLC to get better, and this was better rest. 

Colin sighed as he saw Mimi falling asleep. His heart was so utterly broken and he could see that something inside her was so damn shattered and broken that he had no way to fix her. Only time would mend it, in some shape, and with her memory, it would be so hard. He carried her into the operating theater, cleaned her dental cavities, and put new organs in because that three-month panic had killed off her organs. There was no womb in her.

Colin knew that Damon could have smelled those drugs in her, probably had and something in him did not want to see her in medical panic. His alpha side would not accept Charles being there for Mimi and Damon could not himself do it.

As Mimi had told him how she had woken up, no IV, no sides, it had been right about Mark that she should leave, so she had left, to be alone in a time when she would have most needed them. And now it was too late for explanations and apologies.

Colin carried Mimi back to bed, kept her anesthetized, in heavy feeding, and safe, resting, and cared for. He knew he would never have another mate. He had had one, and no one else, but he felt as if Mimi was almost his child. With this incredible protectiveness over her, he wanted to keep her safe, and if he had only known, he would have provided her safe space, helped that drug leave faster, and not be alone. 

He kept her for two months in feeding and got her weight in better. She had a womb but was small and her hormones were low; it was understandable, her enzymes were too low, and despite how hard fleas had tried to find them, no luck for now. So there was no transplant option on those, too.

I woke up in Colin's clinic. Sly one had kept me asleep for two months and feeding, so I was in good shape, almost as if my enzymes were kind of low side. I was ready to return to pack and see what came out of this. I would be just An Alpha female who will handle her responsibilities. Always. I was not sure if I wanted to breed. I would make sure that those who wanted to breed would breed, but not me. I still remember every freaking minute, every touch, and I had no will to breed.

I had time to be with fleas and collect information on those witches, and the one name that came quite often was Freya Michaelson. Of course, there had to be complications and there was no direct evidence on her, but only a bunch of rumors and speculations, so things to keep in mind. 

I had gotten well on things in a few weeks and then I got the order to return to the pack. Living the life of an alpha female who would do her duties, but nothing more. I did not want sex, not want intimacy, not want to be touched, not with Damon, at least. I felt very restless, like something inside me was about to burst out and I had no idea what it was. 

Damon announced that we would meet at the Spanish castle. Fine, I was ready. No one but Damon would know what happened, and neither would he know everything. He told me about the spell and what the pack thought had happened. I had developed a shell for myself, a shield through which no one or nothing could penetrate. I arrived at the castle.

I had an orange and yellow lace silk dress, shoulder-length platinum blonde hair, and an attitude. I was an alpha female. I did what I had to do for the pack, but nothing more. We went to eat, after everyone, well, everyone but Salvatore had greeted Mariella, and the wolves had greeted Salvatore. Damon looked me straight in the eye, and I looked back, not too long, and averted my gaze down as an alpha female should. Now was not the time to be challenged.

I knew roughly what was going on. Rush time. First, we fuck for a week or two, and then we get horny. We'll go to the island and fuck, and then it'll be a rain of eggs. Damon told me all this over food. I had no problem with it. My hormones were very low so I would not breed. I finished my food and started making out with Charles and Adam. I wanted to unload something inside me, but I was not sure what. Or how? 

We went into one bedroom, and I let it go. I took out my vampire side, and my wildcat, and showed them how an alpha female does it. I did have one insignificant problem, though, and that was again when my enzymes were down. I didn't care because I knew my body was still recovering. I thought that maybe this would help this pressure inside, but no, it did not do anything. My wildcat just played with men, and it was not a pleasurable experience for them.

It was a tough experience, both mentally and emotionally. I played with the men for three days. Then I went out to eat. I wasn't really hungry. I had eaten Charles's heart out ten times. It was tasty. My wildcat was like that. I had just gotten my normal form back, meaning I was not my vampire form, white hair, black eyes, bloodred lips, and black nails. I had used both of them as my meals and I could eat their hearts, too. Charles went to eat after I returned to our bedroom. Adam was still sleeping with the power of my velvet, and I had not yet decided what to do.

Mariella went into the kitchen while Charles was there. She had missed Charles, and she wanted to see if she could lure his pheromones out. She went to curl up, and Charles gasped when he would have been hurt.

Mariella released her grip and said, " What hurts you and why?"

Charles was silent for a moment and said, "We took the wildcat out, and now she's handling me a bit. Don't mind me. I will be fine. I will heal. She is a powerful creature, and we did kind of overestimate ourselves, but the lesson is well learned."

Mariella sighed and said, "What about Adam?"

Charles said quietly. "Adam was asleep when I left, but Mimi may have gone back to bed already. I should go and look after Mimi. She got herself back to normal shape already, with no more white hairs and such, so she will be fine soon. "

Damon walked into the kitchen after Mariella had told him in her mind what had happened.

He said to Charles, "First you go to the medbay now and Mariella will look you over. Then I'll put the wildcat back in her place. Even though she has her own form, I need to check things out. She might be lurking under the surface, and I need to put her down properly."

Damon knew it wouldn't be easy. But it would have to be, because Mimi's vampire half, the wildcat, was hurting men and wanted to subjugate them. She was a freaking strong vampire and this could all be a reaction to that year and unloading it would have to wait or then find some other way to do that than let Wildcat come out willy-nilly.

The three of them went to the medbay. Charles took off his shirt, and his back was covered in deep scratches. Damon could smell Mimi's poison in those deep gauges that marred Charles's strong back. He would heal, but then again, once Wildcat handles you over, it takes time to get back on things and be brave enough to engage with her again.

 Mariella got some nail pieces from those gauges, Mimi's trademark. There was a scar where his heart had been eaten more than once. Mariella gave him a healing buster and directed Charles to treat the wolves. She did not say anything against Mimi, only that Damon needed to work on her and properly so.

I lay in bed content and full and had a little fun with Charles. The wildcat was happy. But this pressure, this need, was still in me and it would need a different approach.

I was about to take a bath and a voice from the doorway said, "Did you know, baby, the liver is much more nutritious than the heart?"

Oh, a new playmate. Maybe that was my answer. He would be strong enough to win me. I needed to try something out but something kept me telling him.

Fine, no, I can have that one too. I let the sheet fall over me and was completely naked underneath it and stretched in pleasure. I need to get him in the mood first.

I said, "I was looking for the most delicious, Yum Yum. How about it Salvatore, you dare to come to bed with me? Meow!"

Damon calmly walked into the room and looked me over. He said, "What you went through... I understand you want to vent a little, but fine, I'll come to bed with you, and we'll see which one of us was on top again."

Damon's voice was silky smooth.

I said, "I can take quite rough handling if you are up to it.." 

He undressed and came on top of me. We fucked furiously, and for a long time, I don't even know how long, me mostly fighting for power and strength and Damon fucking my strength away. I felt this power inside me reacting. This was it! But how can I get it out? I would need more dominance but he was not too playful a mood but pushing me, just powerless and tired. Then he always finally fucking hit me in the flank.

When I woke up, I was in the same bedroom, and I hadn't slept for long. The power was still inside me, a little more out, just waiting, but I could see from this expression that no chance of getting him to come after me. And this was so damn hard to explain. 

Damon said, "Fine, you have your enzymes down. And your hormones, too. No problem, it's just time for a little platinization. It seems to work. I know what you went through, but this is the best way. I won't put you on heat time because I only platinize on the island; it's a big island, and you get to be on the other end so that I won't be too distracted. Your hormones are too down for you to breed, so I don't expect you to breed. We just need your pheromones to breed."

Oh, that's nice. I lay there tired as Damon put on his clothes after his shower and walked away. I looked at my phone and realized we'd been fucking for three days. I lay in bed for a while and dragged myself into the shower. Myself.