The next morning, the Oda retainers' hellish skit training was
behind them
At long last, an eager Yoshiharu and hesitant Frois made their way
towards Honbyo Temple.
Honbyo Temple was situated in Settsu province, and though it was
called a temple, one could better describe it as a fortress city, one
surrounded by the rivers Nakatsu, Suita, Eguchi, and Kanzaki. Its
proximity to the country's largest "self-governed merchant city" Sakai
also led to numerous ships passing through it's rivers. In essence,
whenever anyone mentioned Honbyo Temple, they referred to the
entire, self-governed city controlled by Honbyo Temple.
Unlike Sakai, however, Honbyo Temple was a fortress ready to
rebuff any would-be conqueror.
Before one even considered the fast flowing currents of the rivers
and the sturdy fortifications, just the fact that Saika Magoichi of the
Kii nobles, head of the arquebus squad of the Saika Ikki, stood with
Honbyo Temple was a huge deterrent.
The disciples willing to defend Honbyo Temple, including Saika
Ikki, was said to be around forty of fifty thousand, plus another 5000
Saika Ikki men equipped with arquebus. This manpower and
stockpile of arquebuses were terrifyingly huge for this era. Even
Nobuna, with her lucrative control over Sakai and its imports,
wouldn't be able to gather enough arquebus quickly enough to deal
with this issue.
Sakai's Imai Soukyu had just recently ended his arquebuse trades
with Honbyo temple, But even that could not explain Honbyo
Temple's ridiculous stockpile of arms. One explanation, perhaps,
was that due to the sheer number of disciples of Honbyo Temple
country-wide, many Sakai merchants may have unknowingly sold
arquebuses to the rich Honbyo Temple. In the end though, the most
likely reason was that the Saika Ikki, whose nickname was
"Arquebus war squad", had their own independent way of obtaining
the firearms.
On top of it all, Honbyo Temple had close relations with the
Conqueror of Chuugoku, the Mori Clan, famous for their shipbuilders
and seamanship. As a result, no matter how many provisions they
needed, their supplies would never run dry thanks to the sea and
surrounding rivers. This made a direct seige all but impossible.
Eventually, a sentry spotted the two travellers and cried "the Oda
Army's envoys are here!" Almost immediately, an ear deafening
chorus rang out from Honbyo Temple in response.
"Nyamu nyami nyafutsu, Nyamu nyami nyafutsu."
"Nyamu nyami nyafutsu, Nyamu nyami nyafutsu..."
"Nya.... Nya.... Nya...."
....Nyankousou's unique cat chant... Chanting non-stop, the verses
became shorter and shorter, until finally it sounded as though the
disciples were imitating the purring of a cat.
Yoshiharu, closing on Honbyo Temple aboard a boat proudly flying
a white flag, let down his guard.
All this Nyaa... Nyaa... Nyaaa, no matter how I see them, they
seem to be peace loving people.
He immediately sobered when he noticed the countless arquebus
on the mud walls aiming straight towards the ship,
This peace meeting must definitely succeed. If not, things will
definitely spiral out of control. Because Katsuchiyo is still around,
history has started to flow in a direction where it's getting harder and
harder to protect Nobuna. This is a rough situation.
Yoshiharu couldn't help but shiver.
In comparison, Frois almost seemed relaxed in her sister attire.
With a refreshing smile, she calmly affirmed, "This is to protect
countless lives. My lord, please bless me with strength!"
Seeing Frois so poised, Yoshiharu convinced himself he needed to
look dignified as well. Calming the panic in his heart, he managed to
shout out, "Look on, this is the original Osaka way of comedy!"
After stopping the boat by the harbor, the both of them
disembarked only to be totally submerged by the members of
Nyankousou.
Strangely, almost all of them were girls.
No, looking around proved all all of them were girls.
As expected of the power of cats, gathering so many women in
one place
"Nya.... Nya.... Nya...."
"Nya....."
"The envoy of the Oda army is here~nya..."
"A monkey and a namban kirishitan[16]~nya!"
"It's Oda Nobuna after all, choosing two fellows in opposition of
nyankousou's rules ~nya...."
This was a terrifying army, armed to the teeth with arquebuses and
swords, but all of them were girls cat ears atop their heads. Every
one of them wore a happy, nyan cat smile; just looking at them was
enough to drop anyone's guard if they weren't concentrating.
Yoshiharu was indeed concentrating! He understood that if he
barely opened his mouth he might just say...
"You gals are just so cute! Please, what's your name? Can I have
your address??"
And if Yoshiharu flirted with them so blatantly...
"Shut up~nya.....! Hurry and go to cat paradise~nya!"
He would definitely be attacked by the girls.
Perhaps Yoshiharu hadn't been concentrating as well as he
thought. Already the girls were attacking him over his frivolous
nature. It was the obvious outcome; even Yoshiharu could have seen
it if he just used his brain a little. As one would expect though,
Yoshiharu was the sort of impulsive guy who will act before his mind
could advise against it.
"I'm sorry, sorry! We are the envoys of Nobuna. Please report our
arrival to the one in charge! If possible, we want to meet Kennya
directly!"
"What a shameless person~nya...."
"What should we do~nya?"
"I'm going to ask Shimotsuma-sama~nya."
"Ok, please wait~nya."
A girl went back into the temple. She seemed to be asking a
higher up for instructions.
After a few more transitions and several steps up the ladder of
authority, Yoshiharu was released. He plopped to the ground as they
waited for updates, the reflection of everything not diligence and
poise.
"Are you alright?" Frois asked, wiping the sweat from Yoshiharu's
forehead with a handkerchief.
Even deep into the main camp of a militarized, foreign religious
group, Frois maintained her calm expression. Perhaps it was an act?
Yoshiharu made his resolve; if anything happened, he shield and
protect Frois.
"There are only girls in this temple. It's the complete opposite of
Mount Hiei, where only men were allowed, Yoshiharu-san."
"That's because Mount Hiei represented the old religious groups,
whose teachings were based on a predominantly male foundation.
Ever since its founding, nyankousou didn't discriminate between
identities. Because anyone can easily join, girls naturally gathered
here. But there's lots of cute girls here... Now that you think about it,
combining cat ears and cat puns triples their charm."
"Is that so? Looks like I still require some effort to integrate with
the culture of ZIPANGU. Wearing cat ears and saying cat language
is the norm in spreading religion in ZIPANGU, then?"
"That... would be the best!! Absolutely fabulous, Frois!" With just a
mental image, Yoshiharu's nose started leaking something red.
"Saru! You really are desperate for Frois' cow-like breasts, huh!?
You traitor!"
Uwahh! Somehow, a madly jealous Nobuna appeared in my head!
It was so realistic my body's shivering uncontrollably. Ahh geez, that
fellow is aiming for the world; isn't she a bit too petty over such a
small thing? No, she's way too petty!"
Crap, if even my mind is already being chained down by Nobuna, I
won't be able to enjoy my youth, that most precious springtime of
life!
Yoshiharu shook his head vigorously, desperate to be away from
the terrifying image. Just then, the gates opened again and several
devotees walked out.
"I am Shimotsuma Rantei, in charge of public relations of Honbyo
temple." A white girl with silver hair and azure eyes offered her
introduction. She wore the outfit of a nun, yet her hair was plainly
visible. Nyankousou didn't enforce the rule of shaving or covering
one's hair. Instead, it was the duty of all believers to wear cat ears,
as per their teachings. In their hands, rather than chanting beads,
were small, ceramic Beckoning Cats[17]
.
"Ahh, Randy[18]? Aren't you supposed to be a missionary in
ZIPANGU? Why did you come here?" Frois warmly, and confusedly,
greeted her old friend, Shimotsuma Rantei, "You have abandoned
your religion, what a shame."
Rantei, for her part, seemed completely unshaken by the
unexpected meeting. "The lord, Nekogami-sama and Kennya-sama
are one and the same. This is the truth to the Holy Trinity. Kennyasama is and always has been the one to which I have dedicated my
own body."
The former sister's azure eyes glittered brightly.
"The Holy Trinity? Randy, you have merely succumbed to the
cuteness of cats and became part of another religion. It's true that
the calico cats of ZIPANGU are extraordinarily cute, but this is a little
too..."
"Frois. Kennya-sama is much cuter. But more than that, she is the
most interesting person in the world. We Christians have forgotten
our smiles, yet Kennya-sama has shown me that laughter is such a
joyful thing. The stories in the bible are all so incredibly grim and
dark. The association mistreats cats as well, so I have decided I will
never go back again."
"How can that be~ Randy who was so devout... Ahh, this shock
has me feeling so faint..."
"Hold on, Frois!"
"Her soul seems smitten by the cuteness of Kennya and cats."
Yoshiharu whispered as he supported Frois.
"I myself have been baptised by the Buddhists in ZIPANGU. Even
if Randy has done the complete opposite, I have no right to
reprimand her... But, it's still such a shock."
"Considering how Frois risks her life to come here, I understand
how you feel."
That surprising exchange out of the way, another person bounded
forward to make their introduction. This time, it was a petite
Japanese girl with a refreshing smile as cute as a cat's.
"My name is Shimotsuma Kakehu. I work in public relations with
Rantei. This time, regretfully, the declaration of war towards Oda
Nobuna-sama is my doing. Oda Nobuna-sama is the worst... It would
be tolerable if she demanded military funds of us, but her desire to
conquer Osaka's Honbyo Temple and build her own castle is just too
much. We are worried about what Nobuna-sama will do from now
on, not least of all because of her intentions to burn down Mount Hiei
and the hatred she had for her family members. If this goes on, my
master, Kennya-sama's precious body will be in danger, and our
reputation will..... Besides, I'm also in charge of the accounts in
Honbyo Temple, and rice seems to be a little lacking nowadays. As a
result, we are currently researching an Osaka delicacy,
"Okonomiyaki" made from wheat. In fact, we have just started
preparing to open stores country-wide to sell this Okonomoyaki....."
This fellow seemed to be the talkative type, but her train of thought
seemed to have no rails.
"Wait, wait! Hold the Okonomiyaki discussion and tell Kennya
about my intentions! All the things about Nobuna planning to attack
Honbyo Temple are all nonsense! She has no intention of chasing all
of you away! That fellow is busy right now concentrating on building
Azuchi Castle!"
"The situation seems to be quite complicated, Rantei. How about
we ask Mayami and Okada over?"
"Frois is a devout Christian and is totally against violence, and this
Saru seems to be quite weak. Just us both will be enough. Saru! If
you want to pass us, you have to defeat both of us." Rantei's azure
eyes shone, and in unison all the cat-eared girls held up their
weapons.
"I said we are envoys coming in peace!"
"Randy. Isn't there any way you could allow us to go meet Kennyasama?"
"This....."
"Then let me, Shimotsuma Kakehu explain. If you can do a skit
and make we two public relations officials laugh, we will allow you to
enter. The only ones who can meet Kennya-sama are interesting
people with masterful acting skills. Kennya-sama always says, 'If I
talk to boring people, I will be abandoned by the god of comedy'.
She is especially averse to the people of Kanto, who she feels do not
understand the crux of comedies. Though I myself am also from
Kantou, because I yearned to meet Kennya-sama, I spent a very
long period of time researching. From Saru-san's accent, you aren't
from Kansai, right? Hmmm, but even I, who keep in touch with the
different believers from different areas, find it difficult to guess where
you are from. Your accent is quite different from the dialects I am
familiar with. But, I have heard that Saru-san invented that impactful
new delicacy of takoyaki in Sakai. I hold the ambition of introducing
Okonomiyaki country-wide, so if Saru-san was willing to teach the
methods of selling food... Ahh, wait, this has no connection to
meeting with Kennya-sama, so sorry! Though it is pretty convenient
that a disciple of Honbyo Temple may open up a shop selling
Okonomiyaki if she wishes..."
"Your words are too long and you're digressing further and further
past the point! The content is too boring anyways! Rantei-san,
please summarize this in a sentence."
"...Simply put, if both of you can perform a skit to make us laugh,
we will permit you to meet Kennya-sama."
"If that's so, I can finally relax. Because I'm from a future Japan
where not just in Osaka, even as far as Kantou, the culture of
comedy has taken root in everyone's hearts! No, not just Kantou;
comedy is famous throughout the country! Rikyuu's special training
is just icing on the cake!"
Be shocked by the skit of Frois-san and Yoshiharu! Laugh your
heart out for the nun and the future-man!
Yoshiharu rolled up his sleeves as he puffed up his chest. Like
this, YoshiharuXFrois debuted in front of their first audience...! It
would be the pair's first skit for a crowd.
Even though Yoshiharu was beginning to get used to the
battlefield, his nerves began to rattle.
Yes, in a place like Osaka, skits were even more cruel and
competitive than a battlefield!
The eyes of Shimotsuma Rantei and the crowd narrowed, as each
wondered "Can Kantou people really perform a skit?"
Frois and Yoshiharu were definitely the away team here.
But, if they didn't pull through, Nobuna's dream of Tenka Fubu
would definitely be delayed for 10 years.
Yoshiharu took a drum and...
Dong dong, Dong dong...
Signalled the beginning of their skit.
"I'm from the future, Sagara Yoshiharu...."
"I'm from across the sea, Louis.Frois."
"The both of us...."
"Ahh, I'm sorry, Yoshiharu-san, We forgot to think of a name for
this skit combination!"
"Gosh! How about... Othello... no, how about we temporarily call it
Hamlet?"
"I don't know why we're suddenly discussing Shakespeare, but I
understand."
The girls of Nyankousou suddenly became silent.
"I had forgotten about the 'opening'[19]!"
The "opening" is the most important part of a skit, and we didn't
think about it at all!
Yoshiharu's heart screamed as he broke into a sweat.
"For now, switch to the Osaka dialect, we can increase the
affection by three times if we use the Osaka dialect!" Yoshiharu
whispered to Frois secretly.
The both of them started the skit again with an overblown Osaka
tone only just prepared in the nick of time.
"Anyway, Frois. You... came from waaay out 'cross the sea?"
"Co...Correct. It was really quite far. The seasickness was darn
terrible. How 'bout you, Yoshiharu-san, you came from the future
Japan, yeah?"
"Yeah. I ain't boastin', but I know a great deal 'bout this here
Sengoku era!"
"Ah do decle-ah, when I came to ZIPANGU nothin' shocked me
like tha cats. I saw cats bein' worshipped like Gods, and I was plenty
shocked!"
"In the future Japan, cats are very popular too! Though, for some
reason, mice seem to be the top in popularity in the future!"
"Yoshiharu-san, the Osaka dialect, Osaka dialect!" Frois frantically
pinched Yoshiharu's cheek.
"Ahh, geez. Sorry, go on, Frois!"
"Well, that... mice? 'zat so?"
"Yup. In Kantou, there's this dream island named 'mice paradise'.
All the youngsters who went could see lots of mice. Thing is, you
gotta pay to go in. Tha mice had built a hi-yuge castle right down by
the sea. In fact, it looked pretty darn well like that Honbyo Temple in
tha Sengoku Era."
"Payin' money to see mice? Ain't mice nothin' but cat food? I don't
get what's wrong with the noggins of those future people."
"Them mice still bite if ya forced 'em into a corner. Hell, humans do
tha same! I bets in the animal world, the mice are all up an' plannin'
a rebellion with tha cats."
Suddenly, a wave of ridicule assaulted them... This was
impossible.
Fufu, how boring! Isn't it total nonsense for people to worship mice
in the future!? Shouts of disagreement became a chorus.
"Hearing fake Osaka dialects gives me goosebumps all over~nya!"
Shimotsuma Rantei criticized strictly.
Shimotsuma Kakehu, who was skilled in hundreds of different
dialects, instead decided to comment, "you've had three proper lines,
and absolutely zero content."
"Yoshiharu-san, it seems like speaking in an Osaka dialect had the
opposite effect. I think it's better to talk normally."
"I see. Looking back, using the mice gag was a total failure to
begin with. It's like talking about the giants all the time in front of the
Hanshin fans[20]."
"But, what gags do we have left?"
"There's still that breast gag that made Rikyuu laugh. The path of
comedy is full of thorns; it's too difficult for a last minute skit master
to just use words to become popular. I will transform into a lecherous
geezer shortly, so please do your best to scold me as a garbage and
hit me. Though I'm sorry you have to do this Frois, it's our only option
now!"
"Ehhhh? N...No. As the bride of the lord, I will be punished for
performing such a lewd gag in front of everyone! And, such a thing
like scolding and beating Yoshiharu-san....."
"Please understand, this is to avoid war, to save numerous lives!
The straight-man Frois will be able to change this country's history
for the better!"
"Hmmm. If this is the case, I can no longer reject... *Cough*"
Yoshiharu passed Frois the huge paper fan he had bought from
Sen no Rikyuu, and her knuckles were pale as she gripped it.
"Now we're going to begin that breast gag, use this fan and slap
as much as you want. Don't show any mercy. Use all your strength
and hit me on the head."
As he encouraged his reluctant partner, the crowd suddenly began
to take interest again.
"Ohhh, what's that humungous paper fan~nya? Is it a prop for the
straight man? I haven't seen such a skit before~nya, it must be a
modern skit~nya." There were all kinds of voices rising from the
audience.
"It can be done! If it's the violent kind of skit!" Yoshiharu's nose
twitched at the scent of victory.
"Anyway, umm. Frois-san's breasts are really huge. Just when did
they start to grow-"
PIAK
The fan connected Yoshiharu's head at lightning speed! No
hesitation, no mercy; a cool strike!
"Fr...Frois, it's not the gag yet.... Come, come!"
"D...Do...Do...Do...Do...Don...Don't ask me such an embarrassing
thing! Be...Be...Because those who serve the lord cannot lie. Even if
it's such... such a lewd question... this is too despicable!"
"Wait a minute, wait a minute, we still have to grab their attention
with an opening."
PIAK PIAK PIAK
3 hit combo!
"Are you talking about 'grabbing'[21]? You want to grab my breasts
in front of everyone? Th...Th...Tha...That's too ridiculous,
de...def...defi...definitely not!"
"Nono, that's not what I mean! We have to handle the 'opening' of
the skit first!"
"Yoshiharu who was just playing around with my breasts has no
persuasive power!"
PI~~AK!
This time, it landed on Yoshiharu's face.
"Uhhhh!? Fr...Frois, wait! That fan, it's a little too painful use it right
on... Gah, my nose, it's bleeding!?"
"I'm sorry, so sorry. As the bride of the lord, if it's to protect my
chastity, I must resist with all my might, even if I have to defeat
Yoshiharu-san!"
"Ehhh.... You hug me tightly when I'm playing around with you.
What's with the sudden change?"
"Yoshiharu, you mean to say you have such lewd thoughts when
you confess your sins to me? Shameless!"
"Because I'm a guy, there's no helping it! If Frois abandons me, I
won't have the courage to continue living in this Sengoku Era! I beg
you, let me play around with those huge breasts of yours again...."
"Ehh!? Yoshiharu-san's eyes are perverted!? Ahh, my lord, please
forgive me! Yoshiharu-san has been possessed by a demon now! I
must use the holy fan to exorcise him! Demon, leave Yoshiharusan's body now!"
PIAK!
Yoshiharu's body rolled along the ground like a broken children's
toy, to the nyankousou audience's wild cheers.
"I didn't expect the kirishitan to be so violent~nya!"
"Again, again~nya!"
"Teach that monkey face man a lesson~nya!"
"Uhhh. That's it. This Frois's straight-man is becoming much
better, not bad at all."
"Yoshiharu-san has to be the pro here, taking all those merciless
hits. Taking hits like that while minimizing the actual damage his
body receives shows his intense training for the part of the fool. This
must be experience gained from time spent with his master, Oda
Nobuna. But, to my okonomiyaki business...."
Yoshiharu, his face full of blood and barely able to pull himself off
the ground, smiled as he stuck out his thumb. "Beautiful, it's a
success, Frois... But, my semicircular canal seems to have broken...
My legs are numb, I can't stand up....." With these words,
Yoshiharu's face fell to the floor.
"I'm sorry, really sorry, Yoshiharu-san! Those cruel words didn't
from my heart, even though I hit you with all my might; please forgive
me!"
"Frois, your foot! Don't hesitate, step on my head! With this,
everyone will laugh! It's our victory!"
"I just, I can't do it! Uhhhh. Yoshiharu-san, I'll support you, hurry
and stand up!"
"How can you do that!? Please, step on me like everyone expects,
and step over my corpse! Go to Kennya, and stop the war! I beg
you!"
"...Yoshiharu-san.... The desire of yours to bring everyone peace
is actually so.... It's like the lord, carrying his cross over so many
mountains. If that's the case, I will become the traitor, Judah!"
Frois faced the sky with tears peeking beneath her eyelids as she
drew a cross over her chest. Yoshiharu summoned the last of his
determination and devoted his entire being into becoming a
lecherous geezer!!
"Hehehe, that's my Frois-chan. Now, back to my question: when
did that pair of tits you have there start popping up? Around what
age? How did it feel when they just puffed up like that? Huh? How's
zat? Did you feel shy lugging those tits of yours into the bath while all
the dirty geezers starred?"
"... That is the one question I wish never to answer."
Frois' expression faded, and she put all her weight behind a fierce
stomp square on Yoshiharu's head. With that, Yoshiharu lost
consciousness.
Nya.....
Nya.....
Nya.....
A success.
It felt like... Rather than being popular because it was a good skit,
it was more of the audience enjoying a lecherous monkey being
taught a lesson by a devout Christian girl. There were no rules when
it came to comedies though. It was your win as long as you were
funny. There wasn't any sort of protection agency in the Sengoku Era
either. When no one was holding back the violence, the results could
be unexpected. Yoshiharu, with his resolve to be stomped on, had
won this battle.
But in those final moments, Frois seemed to be serious about
wanting to protect her own body.
"Fufu, does Frois have a talent for playing the straight man? Well
done, you've passed. I will arrange for a meeting with Kennya-sama
for you."
"Please enter through the gate."
Shimotsuma Rantei and Kakehu decided they passed.
And so, thanks to Frois and Yoshiharu's huge sacrifice, they could
finally meet the master of Honbyo Temple, Kennya.
After passing through the gates of Honbyo Temple, Yoshiharu
stopped short.
The Settsu province of the Sengoku Era was brimming with a
strange energy. If one were to say that this energy reached fruition
as "commerce", this fruit would reside in the international city of
commerce, Sakai. Honbyo Temple's fruit grown of this energy, then,
could be called "faith". But even if one called it faith, there were no
rules prohibiting their desires. This fruit was filled with a love of
comedies and Nekogami-sama. If anything, it seemed to match the
Sengoku Era's Osaka.
This situation was worlds apart from the ordinary lifestyle of
Kantou.
"Th...This is the true Honbyo Temple? It's almost as big as
Koshien Stadium!?"
Exactly.
Comparable to a castle's "Honmaru[22]", there was a huge building
to worship Kennya and gather Nyankousou devotees.
This building looked just like the coliseum of ancient Rome. The
interior walls were all rounded viewing seats made of stone, and in
the centre was a wide green grass field. The entire setup was most
likely designed and constructed by the namban people under
Shimotsuma Rantei's leadership.
Seated along the stone bleachers and around the green field were
tens of thousands of Nyankousou members, all speaking with
strange "Nya...." "Nya...." sounds, and most of them small girls.
"Kennya-sama, so cute~nya!"
"I'm healed~nya!"
"Look over here~nya!"
Their gazes were all inexorably drawn to the center of the stage
build on the grass, where stood the master of Honbyo Temple,
Kennya. At her side, holding a big black arquebus by the name of
"Yatagarasu"[23], was the leader of the Saika Clan.
"Everyone!! You guys are as spirited today as ever; I can feel it in
the air! Just by living right now, we have nothing to lose! I wish for
Osaka to fill to overflowing with energy under the power of
Nekogami-sama! This is Kennya-sama~nya!"
"I'm her partner, Saika Magoichi. Now, let's start with another skit!
Hey!"
Kennya looked rather strong-willed in her extremely flamboyant
clergy attire, but was actually quite a small girl. She even wore her
cat ears and tail so naturally... No, looking carefully, the furry tail
seemed to be moving a bit too much to be fake.
With a "Nya nya", Kennya waved like a beckoning cat statue, and
with a energetic look she began to rile up her believers. Modern
societies would most likely see this as a typical idol act.
In direct contrast with Kennya, the leader of the Saika Clan, Saika
Magoichi was garbed in black and gave off an older, "Onee-san"
aura. She swayed noticeably where she stood, but it looked like the
cause was a liberal dose of alcohol rather than the huge arquebus
"Yatagarasu" she carried.
"Every day, Kennya-sama gathers her believers to perform a skit.
This way, each new day will start amidst happy laughter. This is how
the priestess combats the melancholy brought forth by the chaotic
Sengoku Era. This is already a normal activity for Honbyo Temple."
Rantei explained as she brought Yoshiharu and Frois to the front of
the box seats.
"Hmmm, battles have been raging on near the capital for ages;
everyone is afraid and tired of it. We of Honbyo Temple are exactly
as you have seen, an impenetrable paradise that even samurai
cannot conquer." Shimotsuma Kakehu continued.
"Frois. Even if the wars continue on for hundred of years, the
people of Osaka will not suffer. We can live happily through laughter
and the power of Nekogami-sama. Compared to the view in Europe,
that the world is full of evil and we must abstain from our desires, this
is a radically different view. I was quite shocked, and soon defected
to Nyankousou."
"But, this is a little too extreme. The Temple relies heavily on
arquebus as well... With so many people fighting against Nobunasama, things will become bad."
"Samurai and Nyankousou are dire enemies. Kennya-sama is
preparing to unify this chaotic ZIPANGU under the flags of
Nyankousou. That's just the way it will be."
"Why? Isn't this the same ambition as Nobuna-sama? In the same
ZIPANGU, why must two persons with the same ambition kill each
other?"
Rantei and Frois huddled together at the front of the box seat as
they conversed.
All the while, Kennya and Saika Magoichi's skit went on.
"Kennya's dream is to spread Nekogami-sama's teachings all
around Japan and bring peace to this country. How about Magoichi's
dream~nya?"
"What? My dream is to find fame through arquebus and comedy
skits, and find the 'best man in the world'! Because I'm a pure girl
despite how I look.... Ahahahaha."
"Best man in the world? Perhaps a beautiful guy like Asai
Nagamasa? It's gonna be hard for Magoichi~nya...."
"The best man in the world isn't some sissy who looks like a girl.
Being the best in the world means being the bravest...! Nowadays,
there are just more and more useless men who throw the
responsibility of war to the women. Even traveling around the
country in search of the best, I just can't find good guys~"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, brave men~nya... Magoichi's butt seems quite
big~nya..."
"Don't talk about that!"
"The hips of a natural mother~nya..."
"I have not delivered before! Though it's embarrassing to say it, I'm
still a virgin!"
"Forget it. You are a lewd girl who is always horny at night..."
"It's true that I'm lewd, but I don't do such things with just anybody.
If I haven't acknowledged a man as the best, I won't allow him to
touch my body!"
"This girl is just so troublesome~nya... Even if you found him, what
if he said, 'I don't want a girl with a big butt'?"
"If that's the case, I will just shoot him in the head with my
Yatagarasu!"
"...Unpopular girls sure are scary~nya"
"Shut up! Just say I'm a sentimental woman!"
"Everyone be careful; you ought to find a husband soon before
you become an old spinster like Magoichi~nya. If you keep being
picky, your choices will start to run out~nya."
"Don't exaggerate! I'm still young! And Kennya, you don't have a
guy either, right? You've faced a drought of men ever since you were
born, ahahahahaha!"
"Ken...Kenya-sama is still young, so there's no problem~nya!"
"Recently, those princesses of samurai families seem to marry at
ten...."
"Even one story like that is too many! To think there are still
perverts like that around~nya. When Kennya unifies the world, I will
definitely eliminate all these lolicons!"
From Yoshiharu's modern perspective, this skit between two girls,
even if it fully utilized the Osaka dialect, was incredibly dull. For
whatever reason though, the mass of female believers all greeted
each line with laughter.
Like...
"Magoichi! Let's fix the walls of our house today!"
"Aye~[24]
"
With such a boring joke, everyone laughed hard enough to uproot
the whole Honmaru.
In a modern workplace, a superior joking around like this with his
subordinate would eventually completely destroy the hierarchy.
Yoshiharu sighed, giving in to the fact that this was as far as the
Sengoku Era had come. Just as his mind began to wander...
"Magoichi! Kennya's name, it's written as 'Dog' 'Girl', and read as
Kennya! So actually Kennya is an inugami-sama~nya... I'm so sorry
for cheating you guys~nya!"
"Are you an idiot!? Aren't those cat ears you have on!?'
"Ow, owww. Don't pull on them so much! My ears will drop off!"
"Hey, those look like they're real cat ears; just what is going on?"
Yoshiharu asked Shimotsuma Kakehu.
"That's because this person is the living incarnation of Nekogamisama. All the different masters of Honbyo Temple have inherited the
blood of Nekogami-sama and have real cat ears and tails. If I were to
go into specifics, it would be a very, very long story above the rising
of Honbyo Temple, hmmm. Ummm, in the past... Umm, the start of
the story began when the Kamakura Shogunate[25] was ruling
Japan..."
"So Kennya-sama is a human as well as a Nekogami. A half of
each, you could say she's unique." Rantei interrupted, cutting off
Shimotsuma Kakehu's unnecessary history lesson.
"I guess on that topic, Hanbei has been using shikigamis all this
time. The Sengoku Era really does have everything!"
"In ZIPANGU, cats are the deities healing the human soul."
"I'm in the dog faction though. No matter if it's cats or dogs, they
are all pets in Japan's future. Pets are domestic animals kept at
home."
"... You dare... dare say that Nekogami-sama is kept by humans.
Unforgivable!"
Just as Rantei and Yoshiharu's argument seemed ready to
escalate...
"Why's dat!?"
BHAM
With Kennya acting the fool, Magoichi performed her straight-man
slapstick, but she went way overboard. Taking aim at Kennya's belly
with her big arquebus Yatagarasu, she squeezed the trigger without
any hesitation.
Ahh, had a blood feud broke out between the master and her
partner?
Oh? Kennya is dead, she's dead!
Yoshiharu panicked, and Frois bowed down her head, muttering
"Ahh, my lord."
"Stop~nya! Getting shot by an arquebus hurts!"
Kennya, who had just collapsed to the floor, seemed to be alive
and well as she stood up to give Magoichi a kick.
This time, the fervor of the believers had reached it's peak.
"Wait, I was using a real bullet just now! Why didn't you drop
dead?"
"That's because, Kennya is a living deity! Just a bullet from an
arquebus is nothing to me~nya! Nyahahahahaha, nyahahahahaha!"
"Uwahh, isn't this a joke? Damn it, I don't care anymore! Eat the
butt!"
Magoichi flipped the lower portions of her clothes up as she turned
her butt towards Kennya and slapped it. The T-shape of her loincloth
and that peach-like round butt of hers was perfectly visible.
It was still a comedy skit, but this was just too obscene. Magoichi's
talent was to reveal her butt on stage to attract attention, and so she
gained the name, "Butt eating Magoichi". All the girls seemed to
laugh out "Nyaaa...", but...
"Lo...Loincloth! That is... loincloth.....!"
Yoshiharu, still a pure, young guy at heart, was blushing instantly
as he lowered his eyes.
"Our believers are all girls, so there shouldn't be any problem with
slapping your butt here. But, Magoichi-nee-san, if you want to reign
at the top of the country with your skits, please consider a little about
your male fans when you are shaping your image."
BHAMM!
Magoichi point her arquebus straight into the sky and shot,
signalling the end of the skit amidst thunderous applause.
"No, wait. Magoichi-nee-san's loincloth was so distracting I had
forgotten to ask, but Kennya actually survived a direct shot! And she
isn't hurt at all! Just what happened!?"
"I can only say, this is a miracle, just as how in the bible the son of
god dies and rises anew. I'm so blessed to be able to witness such a
miracle every day in this far eastern island."
"Ok, let me offer a quick explanation to everyone here. Because
Kennya-sama's body is half that of a deity, just a bullet from an
arquebus won't be able to hurt her. It's worth noting, by the way, that
the power of Saika Magoichi's arquebus, according to my estimates,
it's about 3 times that of a normal arquebus, which I base around the
fact that..."
This is the same miracle known only to the son of god,
unbelievable. No wonder Randy defected.
Frois tightened her grip on her rosary as she broke into cold
sweat.
Is there a trick somewhere? Or is this magic?
Yoshiharu displayed in full the suspicious mentality of a modern
person.
In the era that I live in, there are even tricks to make the whole
Eiffel Tower of Paris vanish, right? But apparently she's a half
demon, so to that extent, she shouldn't need to have any tricks...
Zenki said he isn't good with arquebus, but compared to the
shikigamis summoned by those ancient Omyoujis, this Nekogami
sect is much more modern. The English term for Kennya would be
"Next Generation", I suppose, so they might have a resistance to
arquebus?"
"Kennya-sama has left the stage and entered the guest room. She
wants to meet with the two of you."
After witnessing for himself the extraordinary charm and popularity
of the Sengoku Era idol Kennya, Yoshiharu once again made up his
mind as he walked towards the guest room.
If bullets can't hurt her, then Kennya is someone that we can't
defeat no matter what. Not just that, the believers of Nyankousou will
emerge endlessly. Fighting with this bunch of people is definitely not
an option.
"I'm... starting to become dizzy," Frois said as she grabbed onto
Yoshiharu's arms with a worried face.
"This is too different from my common sense; it's a religious
gathering far out of my imagination. It's so totally different from
Buddhism and other religions that, honestly, I'm a little afraid."
"Yeah, there isn't any strict or devout atmosphere here at all. But
it's ok, Frois. I've stood my ground debating with Katsuchiyo, er,
Takeda Shingen. With my title of 'The pacifier Yoshiharu', there must
be some way."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. I'm one of the reasons why Takeda Shingen is still alive
today. So, to save Nobuna from this crisis, no matter how big of a
sacrifice I must make, I will definitely negotiate this peace treaty with
Honbyo Temple. This is the so called atonement of my sins. But, I
will definitely protect Frois, so relax!"
"... Obrigado"
You are really a pacifier, Yoshiharu-san. Frois smiled.
~ ~ ~
In the guest room, set up as it was like a tea room, the four of
them stared at each other's faces.
The representative of the Oda Clan, Yoshiharu, the mediator,
Frois, the master of Honbyo Temple, Kennya and the leader of the
Saika Clan, carrying the arquebus Yatagarasu, Saika Magoichi.
Kennya's subordinates, Shimotsuma Rantei and Shimotsuma
Kakehu had retreated outside.
"Nyahahahaha! Sagara Yoshiharu. You really are a monkey face,
just like what the rumors say! You couldn't turn into a cat even if you
wear cat ears~nya!"
In a dignified mood and full fighting spirit after ending her skit,
Kennya laughed so cheerfully that her cat ears shook.
"Yoshiharu-san, the war will start sometime soon. Once this
negotiation breaks down, Osaka, Ise, Omi and Mikawa will instantly
break down into chaos. We have Kyoto in our sights."
The cheerful and frank Magoichi sat down cross-legged as she
gulped down her tea with a big tea cup... No, it looked like her glass
was filled with wine. All the proper mannerisms associated with the
tea room seemed to be out of the window.
Wait, with her legs like that, I'd just need to tilt my head a bit to
see... *gulp*
Finally, Yoshiharu couldn't endure any longer and shifted his gaze
towards Magoichi, but instantly in his mind, Nobuna's furious face
appeared, shouting"You cheating on me, Saru!?" and stopping his
eyes dead in their tracks.
Eh, this isn't like me at all. I'm just like those Christians, constantly
trying to keep their conscious clean for Jesus! Will I be like this from
now on? I like Nobuna, but these symptoms make it feel like I'm just
terrified of her!
"The Oda Clan had no plans to wage war against a peaceable
religion. Those rumors saying Nobuna-sama would attack Honbyo
Temple aren't worth believing." Frois explained.
"Even if those are baseless rumors, but there will definitely be
conflicts in the future." Kennya retorted, a matter-of-fact ton to her
voice.
"I can't let those battle-frenzy samurai do as they please in Japan
any longer. That bunch is too depressing~nya. They have forgotten
all about the smile that is most important to humans~nya. The battle
of the Oda army with the Takeda army, just seeing it makes my heart
depressed and sad~Nya. I can only use laughter and the cuteness of
Nekogami-sama to heal the people, so we might see peace reign
throughout Japan once more! What Japan needs now isn't a violent
God, but a God that can bring forth happiness~nya!"
The young and always laughing Kennya, had an unexpectedly
sharp mind. It seemed she wasn't just a cute face. As expected from
someone born to be the successor of Honbyo Temple. With this,
Yoshiharu realized he wouldn't be able to persuade her without going
all out.
"I can't let Oda Nobuna, who knows nothing about the spirit of
comedy and reeks of miso, complete her ambition of Tenka
Fubu~nya. We have good relations with Takeda Shingen, but her
rural lands of Kai aren't much use, and she can't proceed to the
capital easily~nya. So, it is up to Kennya-sama to fulfill the ambition
for Tenka Fubyo and transform Japan into a country of laughter for
all to see~nya! Nyahahahaha!"
"The believers in Honbyo Temple, most of them are the second or
third daughters of poor samurai families and children of farmers who
lost their lands due to war. The key is that they had no place to go to
except Honbyo Temple.... Since we can't know what will happen the
next day, we should just trust to fate! Just like this, we don't care
about anything and ride to war. Hmph"
Magoichi drunkenly aimed at Yoshiharu's head with her
Yatagarasu.
"I'm a rural samurai from Kii. I don't listen to anyone's orders, a
perfect woman. I'm not one of the believers of Nyankousou, and
have no interest for the world. I stay because I feel relaxed
performing skits with Kennya. Our motto is 'to make this boring world
interesting'. Any fellow who want to tie us down, even if she's Oda
Nobuna who is leading the world, I will let her die by my gun!
Ahahahaha!"
"Wait wait. I'm different from Kennya! I'll actually die if I'm shot!
Stop, stop!"
"Bang...!"
"Uwahhhhh! My head was hit, no more....! Frois, let's run for our
lives!"
"...Wh...at, I didn't squeeze the trigger. Are you an idiot!? What a
coward. Ahahahaha!"
"Damn! I almost leaked...!"
"Weak. To think that you shat due to fright[26]. So weak!
Ahahahaha!"
"How low~nya! What a disgusting envoy~nya!"
"I didn't shit or anything out of fright! Your comedy routine is too
outdated! Especially when the fool isn't really the fool! You guys are
like ancient art!"
Ahh damn!! Let me show you what the true modern gags are!
Despite the burning in Yoshiharu's heart, the modern gags he
knew would most likely not fit the tastes of the Sengoku Era.
"You argue that, precisely because we are at this chaotic era, the
people need laughter....? In the same vein, the lord did teach us,
'Man cannot live on bread alone'. I think I finally understand, both
your argument and the reason Randy defected. But if we really go
into war, won't all of you lose your laughter too?" Frois asked.
"Once I, Kennya defeat Oda Nobuna and end the era of samurai,
peace will once again reign throughout the lands~nya. Listen,
kirishitan~nya. The people of this chaotic era do not know what will
happen to them on the morrow. In this bleak world, there are two
kinds of medicine to help their hearts." Kennya explained.
"One is the medicine named tears."
"Tears of pity, tears of resonance, tears of sympathy. There are
many kinds of tears, once one cries out, the things stuck in their
hearts will flow out with the tears, and their heart will be released
too~nya. The reason your Christian teachings have taken root
through the whole of Japan with such immense strength is because
you kirishitans are skilled in saying things that make people cry~nya.
Your story, in short, is that of the master having been betrayed by his
disciple, and suffering torture and finally dying by being pinned onto
the cross. After going through such a depressing story, he was
miraculously revived! Something like that will make people cry out in
waves, what a brilliant story to make people cry. This cheery Kennya
feels a little like crying when remembering Rantei's bible
stories~nya."
With no explanation for which story she had recalled, Kennya wept
a little
"It is not the duty of the church to make people cry. Simply put, the
church teaches that all humans have immense sin the moment they
were born. But, our lord shouldered all these sins for us with his
death."
"That right there is what's totally incompatible to our cheery Osaka
people. Whhhhhy must Osaka people have sins the moment we are
born? Those young girls who suffered during the war and have no
home to return to, after losing their family and running to Honbyo
Temple for refuge, what sin do they have~nya?"
Kennya opened the window and waved at the girls gathered on
the field cheerfully. Everyone was cheering "Nyaaaaaa" at her.
"These children have no sins~nya. If there is, it's the fault of those
fallen nobles in Kyo and those samurai who fight endless wars~nya.
Honbyo Temple's purpose is to provide a safe shelter and food to
these children who have suffered the most in this chaotic era, along
with peace of heart. If the world wasn't this chaotic, Honbyo Temple
would just be a small temple housing cats~nya!"
Yoshiharu and Frois had to admit, though Kennya was young, she
was indeed an extraordinary character. They began to understand a
little how the girl could come to be a messiah. It's just, her "Nyaaa~"
smile and her expression when she bit into her favourite dried fish
completely fit her actual age.
"It's like this... The suffering endured in this chaotic era, maybe this
is what our lord called 'sin'."
"Ahhh.... Ahhh... How depressing~nya... The medicine that I,
Kennya made is laughter~nya. No matter how chaotic and uneasy
the world becomes, once they laugh out loud from their hearts, ahh,
how mysterious, their mood is suddenly so cheerful~nya! It's better
and more relaxing to believe things like sin do not exist from the
beginning, I think~nya. What Japan needs during this never ending
war is laughter and a heart that loves cute kitties~nya... Since we
have struggled our way into surviving every day, it's too much to find
some sin to suffer! It's not our loss since we are alive~nya! It's
precisely because of this chaotic era that we should look on ahead
and maintain a cheerful mood~nya! This is the crux of Kennyasama's teaching~nya." Kennya proclaimed loudly, stoking a huge
beckoning cat.
Hmmm. They had found a beckoning cat to replace a Buddha, so
can they be counted as a faction of the Mahayana? No, they're more
of a charity group, right?
Yoshiharu's mind was running at full throttle as he nodded his
head.
The people had been tormented with centuries of war, and their
hearts were always uneasy. Living on was a pain, especially when
there was no knowing what would happen the next day. Thinking of
"Using laughter to recover our spirits!" during such a time seemed
fitting of the people of Osaka. It's a testament to this amazing era
that the power of Honbyo Temple had grown this strong. But, as
expected, this bunch was way out of their league if they wanted to
rule the country.
"Kennya is using her own way to save the hearts of the people.
Think how much the people would benefit if she doesn't start the war
and continued performing her skits."
Kennya and Yoshiharu stared at each other as seconds ticked by.
As things crept on though, the cat ears on top of Kennya's head
were still twitching. Yoshiharu couldn't help but notice, and his strict
expression began to crack.
"Wait, don't make me laugh! This is a solemn situation."
"Kennya fears the depressing atmosphere the most~nya. Anyway,
didn't Oda Nobuna send over gifts~nya?"
"How can that petty Nobuna spend money for something like that?
Rather, she wants Honbyo Temple to fund her expenses."
"...As expected, that fellow is Kennya's enemy~nya. At least give
me a fish~nya. Just to mention, as you have no doubt noticed, I love
dried fish."
"Hmmm, just like a cat. How about some catnip?"
"Ny...Nya...!?
As soon as the words leave Yoshiharu's mouth, Kennya paled
instantly. With her body and tail frantically trembling, her eyes quickly
filled with tears and she darted behind Magoichi.
"Ca...Ca...Ca...Catnip is no-no~nya! Th...that thing is just too
scary~nya! No~nya, definitely not~nya! If you give Kennya that,
Kennya will... Uwahh... Uwahhhhhhhhh"
"Uhhh, looks like someone is in denial. Looks like my only choice
is bringing out the catnip."
"Don't take it out~nya, don't take it outtttttttttt!"
"You are really thick headed. I should just kill you with a shot."
Being in charge of protecting Kennya's safety, Magoichi aimed her
Yatagaru straight at Yoshiharu.
"Hoho. You seem composed, I didn't expect you to have such
guts."
"It's just a joke. Didn't I say I'm a peace envoy?"
"Listen? Though she is the invincible Kennya-sama, catnip is
Kennya's greatest nemesis in the world. When it's brought near her,
Kennya will become useless, and the power of cats in her body will
disappear. Remember this, and never bring out the topic of catnip
again."
"I got it already. How about I bring out a mouse, that should be
okay, right?"
"Nya.... So you didn't bring catnip, huh? I can finally relax now,
Magoichi~nya."
"Ahh, calm down, calm down. Though Kennya is pretty cute when
she's frightened and trembling too."
"There's nothing decent about the retainers of Oda Nobuna~nya.
He keeps saying he's a peace envoy, but he still acts so
arrogant~nya."
Actually, Yoshiharu had prepared a bit of catnip. Luckily, he
realized soon he would be dead once he brought it out in front of
Magoichi-nee-san. Yoshiharu cautiously sipped his tea. Knowing that
the ninja Goemon should be somewhere nearby was just enough to
keep him calm. If Goemon wasn't around, he might really lose
control of his bowels in front of that huge Yatagarasu and it's
formidable presence. Perhaps he needed a plan for whenever
Goemon wasn't around. In fact, they were finding more and more
times she couldn't keep watch over him. The more he thought about
it, the more his nerves frayed.
Frois, who had been silently listening, finally opened her mouth.
"....Umm... I do agree with the teaching that laughter can bring
great happiness. But, if we don't practice moderation, we won't know
when we will commit a sin. For example, when Yoshiharu-san sees a
girl's breasts, it's a sin for him to immediately ogle them. I'm a sinful
woman for being born with such a huge pair of lewd breasts to
mesmerize Yoshiharu-san."
"It's not like this, Frois! A girl's big breasts can be used to console
guys! Don't I always say that? Be more confident of yourself!"
"...Sigh. But, I will never let Yoshiharu-san touch them again.
When Yoshiharu-san was hugging me to ease his heart, I discovered
during our skit training that he was thinking lewd thoughts."
"That was just an act to get Frois to hit me!!... At least half of it!
Ahh, for a bishoujo like Frois to not marry for the rest of her life, what
a waste! What have you done, God!"
"Ohh… Ohh. The Oda clan's envoy is on our side~nya. Just to
mention, in Honbyo Temple, even the clergies are able to marry and
divorce as they please. Our side seems to fit you better~nya."
Kennya smiled as she looked at Yoshiharu.
"What, you love the breasts of young girls? What a brat. When you
start to become excited over the peach-like roundness of the butt,
you will have finally grown up! Ahahahahaha!"
Magoichi, now deeper into her inebriation, hugged Yoshiharu.
Immediately in his imagination, Yoshiharu saw Nobuna roaring,
"Saru, so you don't just love big breasts, you love big butts too! Just
how lewd can you get!" Who would have thought that having a
girlfriend as a riajuu[27] would be so troubling? Yoshiharu was
suddenly enlightened.
"Anyway! Laughter and tears, isn't it good to have both medicines?
Japan has 8 million Gods and deities, and this symbolises freedom,
no, tolerance, so Christianity and Nyankousou can both coexist
peacefully. People like Nobuna who love the namban will be touched
by the tears of Christians, and those who love comedies can be
consoled by Kennya's skits. There isn't any problem in that! As long
as you disarm yourselves, even Nobuna won't wage war against
Honbyo Temple, I dare say!"
"Nobuna dislikes nothing more than religious clergies arming
themselves and fighting. Once this war starts, it will last an entire
decade. No matter how hard it gets though, Nobuna will never give
up on her dream of Tenka Fubu, and the hatred between the both of
you will just pile up. This place will become a land with no laughter."
Just like this, Yoshiharu tried his best to persuade Kennya.
Could Nobuna really reach her goal of Tenka Fubu?
According to Yoshiharu, there were two ordeals that she must
pass.
One was to prevent the "Incident at Honnouji."
And the other was to prevent this 10 year war with Honbyo
Temple.
The situation was rough. The "Tiger of Kai", Takeda Shingen was
still alive. If that miracle of Saitou Yoshitatsu defecting at the last
minute hadn't happened, the army led by Saitou Dousan would have
been utterly decimated by Shingen's Takeda cavalry in the Battle of
Gifu. Nobuna, wanting to save Dousan, didn't finish the Asai Asakura
allied forces. And they had yet to face another sengoku warrior on
par with Shingen, Uesugi Kenshin of Echigo, not to mention the Mori
Clan dominating the Chuugoku.
The Oda Clan currently faced enemies at all sides. If they had to
wage war with Honbyo Temple now, the Oda army wouldn't be able
to defend its own territory. Shingen would doubtlessly once again
march towards the capital. If things really came to that, the Oda Clan
actually might not make it.
Knowing this well, Yoshiharu faced the most important job in his
life.
"It's still not too late to stop. Giving lines like 'You will go to cat
paradise if you die' to your girls will only make them die in vain, so
that's a definite no. According to what Frois said, this is the sin!
Humans, let their lives be beautiful like summer flowers!"
Feeling the atmosphere change brought by this serious Yoshiharu,
Kennya couldn't help but retreat. For the first time, she had the
expression of a young demure and cute girl.
"... 'Cat paradise' was originally a short term strategy to console
the people who were afraid of death brought by wars, famine and
plague."
"But it has become 'If we die in the war, we can go to cat paradise,
so calm down! Relax!'. Am I wrong?"
"Before we noticed, it had become like this~nya. Sagara
Yoshiharu, you have seen them too. We have reached an impasse in
this chaotic era. The believers of Honbyo Temple are cheering
everyday, since they have given their all, but they've gotten so
fervent they can't bear it to not take action. Letting Shimotsuma
Rantei lead them to war with the samurai before they break out in
unrest is the current best plan~nya. Our Honbyo Temple has very
good relations with Takeda Shingen and the Mori Clan at the
Chuugoku Region, so the enemy is obviously Oda Nobuna~nya."
"We of the Saika Clan do business by warring with our
arquebuses. It's our wish to die in battle, and we have long come to
terms with this. But the believers have been suppressing their anger
more and more, and now we cannot stop them just by performing a
few skits." Saika Magoichi said.
"Sigh, it's the fault of those samurai who tortured the people that
we're in this situation today. What's wrong with pouring out
something that has been suppressed for so very long? That is the
only way. Ahahaha, want another cup?"
So even Kennya couldn't control this bunch of energetic
believers... Yoshiharu was out of ideas. But since the war hadn't
started just yet, there was still time. He had to keep thinking...!
"Ahhh... If this goes on, Japan will also face religious war with the
religions of Europe... Yoshiharu-san, no matter what, you must stop
them." Frois held her cross tightly and prayed.
"Frois. Just what happened in the religious war of Europe? I'm not
that familiar with world history, unlike Japanese history."
"... It's regrettable, but there are two major factions among the
Christians in Europe, and they wage war among each other all
around the place. The pope of Rome led the traditional Christians,
while the new Christians refused to acknowledge the church's
authority. Both parties hated each other and began their war."
Now that she mentions it, I think I remember something like that in
the textbooks.," Yoshiharu recalled vaguely.
"What, so the namban have a problem with opposing authority
too? Humans, just how dumb can they get? Hmph!"
"Yeah~nya. This trend doesn't seem to stop~nya."
"No, I, having come from the future to change this mistaken flow,
will proclaim right here! Magoichi-nee-san is very strong, strong
enough to be called the goddess of arquebus. With her and the
countless believers, the Honbyo Temple cannot be conquered. This
war will drag on for ages, and even with that, the final victor will be
Nobuna! She will pull through at any cost, because at the front of
Nobuna's Tenka Fubu is an even greater goal! Her ambition is to sail
towards the other side of the wide seas! This is the determining
difference between the two of you!"
"Of course, please keep all of this a secret from Nobuna, because
if Nobuna knows of the future, my head will be in danger."
Yoshiharu's glorious declaration was capped with humble begging as
he knelt and held Frois's hand.
"At least this is what I remembered from the history from my
games! But in the games, there wasn't a temple named Honbyo
Temple."
Nyaaa, Kennya cowered.
"Yo...you're bluffing, right~nya? With no catnip, how can this
immortal Kennya-sama lose to Oda Nobuna, who will collapse from
just a single shot from an arquebus~nya?"
"Exactly. If I want to, I can infiltrate Nobuna's main camp and kill
her with a shot of this Yatagarasu."
"Since you came from the future, then show me your proof~nya,
proof!"
"In the ancient skits, there's also the gag of, 'Show me the face,
the face!'. Now that you mention it..."
"Oi, Saru. Don't use skits to smoke this over~nya."
"Simply put, the manpower of Honbyo temple is scattered around
the country, right? Though the total manpower is immense, there
isn't a central mastermind. Even if you won in different areas, once
Nobuna gathers a proper army, all of them will be defeated."
"Nonsense~nya! Honbyo Temple has strong relationships with
Takeda Shingen and Chuugoku's Mori clan~nya! How can we be
easily defeated~nya!?"
"Kennya might be immortal, but if the believers say things like 'We
will go to cat paradise if we die', the arsonist Nobuna will definitely
burn them into a crisp! Sigh, if it really becomes like this, it can't be
stopped even if I commit seppuku. Hmmm, recently, that fellow has
become much more meek, so I doubt she would just resort to
burning her enemies alive... But, if she was forced into a corner by
Shingen and Honbyo Temple, she might really become the sixth
demon lord."
"You're just a monkey face guy, yet you act like you know so
much~nya. Since you are so adamant about it, then show me the
proof that you're from the future~nya! Don't tell me you are like those
paranoid prophets~nya?"
"Exactly. There have been lots of those bastards about recently...."
"Hmmm, I gave my phone to Nobuna, so there's really no other
proof."
"Yoshiharu-san, will the humans of the future continue waging
wars all around the world and keep falling to sin?" Frois asked sadly.
"Er..... relax, Frois. There's still wars in the future, but the humans
have been improving bit by bit. Though it's really just a tiny bit.
There's the culture of peaceful competitions without going into war,
like the Olympics."
"Ohlimpic? What's that? You want to fool us by using some
monkey language?" Magoichi positioned Yatagarasu's barrel at
Yoshiharu's forehead. It looked like she had drank quite a bit, and
she seemed to be on the verge of squeezing the trigger in her daze.
"Ol...Olympics is a peaceful event using sports to compete
between different countries. It includes sports like soccer or sumo
wrestling, things like that. All the countrie get to compete with each
other, but since it's not a real war there won't be any death, and thus
no hatred despite the outcome!"
"Ah! Yoshiharu-san. These sports, how about we teach everyone
of Nyankousou?"
"Yeah Frois! Let's use this method! If everyone puts that brimming
energy into sports... maybe we can avoid this war! Skits don't have a
victor, but with sports you can compete! This can fulfill the people's
desire to fight without anyone dying!"
"I don't understand all this monkey language, but how can farmers
and merchants know soccer~nya? Such a thing is a game limited to
just samurai and nobles." Kennya puffed out her cheeks.
"Kennya can be counted as a soccer pro~nya. Such a thing has
too much rules, it's too irritating and boring~nya."
"I think so too. Looking at such an elegant thing, I will feel flustered
and want to shoot!"
"I get it, I get it. Then let me teach you guys the newest form of
namban soccer! That will be sure to get your blood pumping!"
"Namban soccer???"
Though Frois seemed worried, mumbling "Will that work?",
Yoshiharu stuck out his thumb and proclaimed, "It will definitely
succeed, trust me!"
Forced to a corner, the "peace envoy" Yoshiharu offered a
suggestion that would affect the rest of his life. And just what was
this "namban soccer"? To find out, please come back for the next
chapter.