A Ticking Time Bomb

"Fine, I'll fucking breath." Harry rolled his eyes before he paused and took several deep breaths.

"Better?" Sirius asked, several moments later.

"I'm not worse, now what the hell is going on with my mind?" Harry asked in an impatient voice. "Why am I seeing you?"

"Well… I'm not exactly just in your mind." Sirius admitted.

"What the fuck are you on about?" Harry asked in a confused voice.

"Ahem." Sirius coughed and gestured to Harry's left arm. Harry frowned and pulled up his arm sleeve, his tattoo was glowing ever so slightly, nowhere near as bright as it was when he was summoning someone.

"So… I'm summoning you?" Harry asked, looking and feeling very confused. "But I'm not even trying to do that and you're not like… you know… a wispy shade?"

"Well, I think I know the answer to that question but if I have to be honest then I should point out that I can only really guess." Sirius replied with an apologetic look.

"That's better than nothing, tell me." Harry said quickly.

"Alright," Sirius sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "well here is what I think has happened: you became incredibly emotional, and you began subconsciously asking for help and then the stone pulled me to you. But the thing is… I don't think I'm all here, it's hard to explain but I've not been summoned like how you normally summon me. I think it's… for lack of a better term, a 'partial summoning'."

"So… hold on, you're in my head but you are also the real Sirius?" Harry blinked.

"I… think so." Sirius nodded after a moment.

"Does that mean that that the other three were real as well? Was that the real Bellatrix, Dumbledore and Voldemort in my head?"

"Um… I can't be sure but no, I don't think so. If I had to guess then they were just part of your head." Sirius answered. "But forget that for now, we need to talk about the fact that you're a ticking timebomb. What happened when you blew up?"

"Well… the girl, the Maximoff girl, she saw a really bad memory."

"Which memory?" Sirius asked, Harry didn't immediately answer and looked like he wasn't going to. "Come on, just give me a chance, Harry. I can't help you if you don't let me, I know that you don't want to talk about it but I truly do think that you really do need to at least discuss it with someone, and I know that I might not be the person for you to do it with but I am here for you, you know? I know I wasn't there for you when you were younger, or even most of your life, but I am here now and I would like to be here for more if you…"

"The end." Harry answered, cutting off Sirius. "She saw the end, Sirius. She saw the end, and when she did so, I saw it again."

"Oh." Sirius said simply, a sympathetic look on her face.

"I've tried so hard to get that memory out of my head but I can't!" Harry all but yelled. "It won't go!"

"I'm sorry, Harry, I really am sorry." Sirius spoke in a sincere voice. "Nobody should have to go through that."

"Don't be. It's not like it's your fault, but I just can't stop it. Even my occlumency doesn't work, at best it temporarily stops it." Harry said, running a hand through his hair.

"Hmm," Sirius frowned thoughtfully. "you do it every time?" He asked.

"Every single goddamn fucking day," Harry said with a tired nod. "Every day I wake up, I get one memory or the other and then I block it out with my occlumency."

"And it's never got better?" Sirius asked. "What?" Sirius frowned when he saw Harry look uncomfortable.

"It's nothing." Harry said, waving his hand in a dismissive manner.

"No, no there is something, what is it?" Sirius asked with narrowed eyes.

"There's nothing." Harry insisted.

"Bullshit," Sirius scoffed. "there's something."

"No there is not."

"As stubborn as your bloody mother, now what is it?"

"You're not going to let it go, are you?" Harry asked in an annoyed voice.

"No, not really." Sirius smirked slightly before giving Harry a look that clearly said 'go on, I'm waiting'.

"Nat," Harry sighed. "when I wake up next to her then I don't really get bothered by the memories, that mean anything to you?" Harry asked in a hopeful voice.

"It… It sounds like your granddad." Sirius said after a moment.

"I beg your pardon?" Harry blinked. "What the fuck does my grandfather have to do with this?"

"You might remember that there was a dark lord before Voldemort, your grandfather fought in the war against Grindelwald," Sirius replied. "I never really knew what he did or what had happened to him but you could tell it affected him. Sometimes he'd get a blank look in his eye, like he was reliving something, he tried to play it off but me and your father always knew there was something wrong. But we had learnt how to quickly fix it."

"And how did you fix it?" Harry asked, unable to keep the interest out of his voice.

"We'd call your grandmother." Sirius answered with a small shrug of his shoulders. "Put her in a room with him and he'd go back to his usual happy self like he was hit with a spell."

"That's… good to know." Harry said after a short pause, he was not really sure how to react to that. "But while Natasha helps, I don't think that she's the best and only solution. I attacked her, remember? The Maximoff girl saw the memory and I tried to use my… I tried to use… fuck…" Harry stopped and trailed off. "… oh shit."

.....

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