Ch. 170

"Ha ha ha!" He laughed maniacally. "Fear the wrath of the Green Goblin!"

"How do I get myself into these situations?" Gwen wondered out loud as she looked at the man in the green armour that was flying around on a purple glider, his helmet was shaped somewhat like a goblin's head. She along with Harry and Sif had come to Oscorp to investigate how Peter also happened to get the same powers as Gwen, then - like with nearly every single thing in Harry's life - things went tits up. Which was why they were now being attacked by Norman Osborn, the owner of Oscorp, who was calling himself the 'Green Goblin' for some reason.

"I've been asking myself that question for years." Harry snorted.

"I've been asking myself that question for hundreds of years." Sif said with a victorious smile.

"Take this!" Goblin shouted as he tossed a pumpkin shaped bomb at them.

"Hold up a sec," Harry said after he almost casually waved his wand and got rid of the bomb. "You call yourself the 'Green Goblin', right?" Harry asked.

"Weren't you listening the first three hundred times I said it?!" Green Goblin shouted.

"Honestly not as much I should have been," Harry admitted. "but enough of that because I have an important question."

"What?"

"Have you ever actually met a goblin at any point in your life?" Harry asked.

"W… what?" The Green Goblin asked, Harry and the others couldn't really see all of his face since they could only see his eyes thanks to his helmet. But from the limited amount they could see they could tell that the Green Goblin was looking at Harry like he had stopped speaking English and was now singing opera music.

"I said, 'have you ever actually met a goblin at any point in your life?'?" Harry repeated.

"W… why would you ask that?" Green Goblin blinked.

"Because I have, and let me tell you something, they are not green."

"Are you real?" The Green Goblin wondered.

"Most of them are light brown/caucasian, you get a few albino ones in there as well but that's like ten percent of them. And they're all greedy little buggers that would kill their mother and jerk off their fathers at the same time if it meant a couple of extra coins." Harry said, at this point he was either unaware of how the Green Goblin was looking at him or he just simply did not care, though it most likely the second one. "Oh and they're all midgets with bad breath, the tallest goblin I ever met had his eye line right at my dick."

"I… how do you function?" Green Goblin couldn't help but ask.

"The answer to that is quite honestly just 'barely'." Harry shrugged before he aimed his wand at him.

.....

"How did it go?" Natasha asked when Sif and Harry got back. "I assume you guys caught the bad guys and saved the day and all that."

"We did but it was disappointingly quick." Sif frowned as she and Harry sat down, Harry wrapped an arm around Natasha's shoulders as Padfoot jumped onto the sofa and placed his head down on Harry's lap so Harry could start stroking the back of his head.

"Yeah, would have thought it would be longer." Harry shrugged.

.....

"You're the best." Natasha smiled as Harry massaged her shoulders. She was now a few weeks into her pregnancy and was starting to feel some of the effects of being pregnant, thankfully Harry was able to make the process a lot more easy for her with magic. And if that wasn't enough then those massages that he gave her were just heavenly.

"I can't be the best when you're around." Harry smiled and leaned down and kissed her forehead. As he pulled his head back up he paused and thought about what he just said. "Good lord, that was sickeningly sweet." He frowned. "I did kill people in my last life, right? I'm not just imagining that? Because I'm feeling less army killer and more…"

"Husband-y?" Natasha asked.

"Not what I was going to go with but sure." Harry nodded.

"Well, they do say that having children can change people." Natasha asked before she closed her eyes and leaned her back, she let out a soft moan as she enjoyed his ministrations.

"I wouldn't worry about how dangerous you are." Sif said as she walked into the room, carrying plates full of food. She had a pleased look on her face since this was the first time she had been able to cook food since she came to Midgard, well… the first time she was able to make a lunch by herself without burning or damaging anything. "If anything, you have gotten more dangerous." She said as she placed the two plates down on the table before she went back to get a plate for herself.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"Well," She said as she put the third plate on the table. "in your last life you were filled with rage and killed an army, you fought and killed to protect lives and to save your own, since then you've grown in power and experience. And if that's not enough then look at your motivation." Sif smiled as she looked at him. "Now, you have friends and family, a child is on the way as well. Tell me, Harry, if someone were to harm your child then what would you do?" She asked. Harry didn't answer, though he didn't need to, the growl that left his mouth along with the flashing of his eyes made it clear what he would do. "Exactly my point. I pity the poor soul who would even think about trying to harm your child."

"Thanks Sif," Harry gave her a small smile. "I…" Whatever Harry was about to say was cut off as his phone began ringing. Harry looked at Sif and gestured to his phone which was in his pocket then he gestured to his hands which were still massaging Natasha. Sif nodded to show her understanding and walked over to him, she took his phone out and answered it before holding it against his ear. Harry gave her a grateful nod and mouthed out a thank you before he started speaking. "What's up?" Harry asked.

"Harry, it's Steve." Steve's voice spoke from the phone. "We have a problem." He said.

"You sound serious." Harry frowned. "What's wrong? Please tell me it's not another stupid experiment gone wrong. Oh and for Merlin's sake, don't let it be another alien invasion." He said, at this point Natasha, Padfoot and Sif were all looking at him.

"No experiments and no alien invasion, just a different kind of invasion." Steve replied, he was sounding very annoyed. "We have the 'unexpected pleasure' of receiving a visit from the United States Secretary of State, Thaddeus Ross."

"Wait a sec, Ross? 'Ross' like as in the asshole that was chasing Banner across the globe? That Ross?"

"That exact same one." Steve said, Harry could practically see the man's frown at this point. "Banner isn't too happy about the situation."

"You don't say." Harry said in a dry voice. "Where is Banner? Do we have a code green?" Harry asked.

"No, not yet at least. I think Banner has got it under control, though with that being said I don't think anyone would object to you placing a spell on him to help keep him calm. Ross is coming here tomorrow and he wants to talk to us all."

"Wait, so he can just come over and demand our attendance?" Harry said with disbelief.

"He's the 'Secretary of State', Harry." Steve sighed. "I don't like it either, but we have to be here for better or worse. I'd like for you to be here, the others as well, this seems like it'll be important for the team."

"Fine," Harry sighed. "but I reserve the right to change Ross into a frog if he pisses me off."

"I'll tell Banner that, might help cheer him up." Steve said with a small chuckle. "How is Natasha doing?"

"She's Natasha." Harry reminded him.

"Yeah… that pretty much tells me all I need to know." Steve said with a small laugh. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

.....

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