Chapter CXLIX - Sanity (part 1)

The fight with the mutants ended with the magicians as the winner.

There are no casualties coming from both the master magicians and the students. Arfius had the highest kill count because he figured out the weakness to these monsters earlier than everybody else.

"Zapping them with a pure lightning magic will deal no damage to them. But if I cast a lightning explosion instead, it will gradually kill them."

Arfius explained when he got interviewed at the academy, two days after the battle.

A ceremony was held at the floating island's castle by the king, and the students that helped during the battle were rewarded handsomely by the kingdom. They all received a medal from the arch-mage himself, in the ceremony right in front of the king. 

Jericho and Manda received a special medal for bringing Astar Besmar alive. Arfius was promoted into a Master Magician during the ceremony despite him not even graduating from the academy yet, making him the youngest known person to ever reach the rank Master Magician.

The word about Astar Besmar got captured by the kingdom's magicians and the students of the academy spread like wildfires among the kingdom's civilians. The judges of the kingdom has decided that Astar Besmar will live his whole life as a slave scientist to the kingdom, instead of receiving a death penalty.

The arch-mage thought it was for the best. After all, Astar was still pretty smart. His mind could still be used to help the kingdom.

Even though a lot of people disagreed heavily, the kingdom has decided to do that due to plenty of valid reasons.

The academy is now back to normal once more. The students have continued their classes, and the headmaster is back to doing his own work.

Everything went normal… except for one thing.

One week after the battle, and still no signs of their student council president.

While a lot of people miss them, Jericho specifically felt it the most. She and Manda have decided not to tell anyone about the incident at the enemy's base. 

Long after Rize flew away, Manda collapsed the whole building and just said to the headmaster that the building was already in ruins when they got there.

The headmaster simply believed and decided to continue the search for Rize. Manda and Jericho didn't say anything about her flying away, but she really is missing, so they let the search party sent by the kingdom to do their job and search.

But after a week, still no words.

While the two felt very sorry for Rize, Jericho can't help but know that she was correct. She knew that what was once her friend has turned into another being completely, and that there is nothing she can do to turn her back.

The only thing they can do… is wait.

The two continued their academy days as if nothing happened while carrying a painful bruise on their hearts. They must not let anyone else know about what happened.

The headmaster had some guesses that Jericho and Manda knew something, but decided not to pry further. If Rize's two best friends in the academy decided to keep it a secret, then it's best to stay away.

Ten days after the battle, a single person stepped into the academy.

She was wearing her school uniform, and entered the school through the front gate. Seeing the unique blood red hair, the receptionist lady quickly recognized who she was.

The student council president… has returned.

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Ten days of isolation.

I needed to clear my head, and try to retain my sanity back.

I tried very hard to forget what happened, but I still go insane every time I recall how I felt that day. Because that day, I truly did go insane.

An isolation... That's what I'm going to do.

It's not the best way to remove insanity, but it is the only way if I don't want to hurt anybody. If I somehow went insane while being close to just anybody, I would surely kill them unwillingly.

No, more like intentionally killing someone, but not with my right mind.

My isolation took place on the beach where I crash landed the first time. It was pretty far from Xyphon anyway, and there is not a single soul nearby.

I exploded a part of a mountain cliff's side, not far from the beach. I made the hole it created into my own living cave, and I lived there like a caveman the entire time.

Luckily all my casual clothes from my adventurer days are still there and clean, so I won't have to worry about losing my clothes. As for food, I simply went to the ocean and hunted some sea creatures. I don't like fish, but I have to make do if I want to make it out here alive.

And for ten days, I was… heavily occupied with the fluctuations of my emotions.

I completely lost touch with my emotions now. Every time I get even slightly annoyed, I always turn incredibly insane and angry. I kept on unleashing my devil form unintentionally and destroyed nearly everything in sight.

One time I went on a fish hunt while flying, and I tried using a shadow net to grab the fishes, but ended up empty nearly every time. After trying for an hour, I didn't get any fish at all.

I raged at the thirtieth net because a fish escaped my grasp, and somehow activated my full devil form. That day, a lot of fishes died due to the hundreds of nuclear explosions that occurred in the middle of the sea.

Similar things happen during the first few days. I kept on getting angry from just trying to make a campfire, I smacked the campfire away and nearly cracked the entire beach. I couldn't sleep at night because it was too cold, so I shouted with all my lungs towards the sea and pushed the waters back a couple meters.

It's like I'm hulk. Every time I get angry, things get destroyed. Thank god there is not a single soul around me, otherwise who knows how many death counts there would be if I returned as if nothing was wrong.

I need to control my emotions… I have to, or else I won't be able to face anyone.

So, I ended up coming with a rather harsher method.

On the fifth day, I sat in the cave for the whole day. I didn't fish or make campfires. My body became weak and cold. I got sick immediately and was not strong enough to do much.

As I became weak, I slowly made my way towards the cooked fishes on what was once a campfire. But when I arrived, I found the fish looked rotten already, so I decided not to eat it and went to the ocean for fishing.

I flew all the way while being very weak and hungry, to find some fish to eat. Luckily, that day was a good day. I managed to obtain fifteen tunas from a horde that came a little bit near the surface. 

Are they tunas? I'm not sure. They are tasty, that's for sure.

I flew back to the beach, and when I arrived on the yellow sand, I crashed face first due to the tiredness from flying the whole time in the middle of the sea.

I slowly made my way and lit the campfire that I had setup right before I went to the sea. I placed the fish on the campfire with some shadow sticks and ate it.

Thanks to eating eight of them, I was able to get my stomach full.

While eating, I got pricked so many times that the past me from a few days ago would rampage easily. But now, I was able to control my emotions due to being very weak, and I was able to continue my meal.

And after a few calming days, I used my healing magic and cured my sickness. For the next few days, I purposely didn't eat during the day, and only ate when it's very late at midnight. It's a method to get me to control my emotions that I copied from certain religions from my world, and it is working.

On the ninth day, I don't feel the anger inside me anymore. All I feel now, is gratitude.

Gratitude for being able to stay alive... Gratitude for being able to stay sane. Those two things are the most important if I want to survive.

I have to save all the anger and hatred inside me for last, when I can finally meet the person who did this to me. Whatever god they are, I will definitely make them pay.

But for now, I needed to stay collected…

There are things… I needed to do.

I've been playing around for far too long. The world was already going to shit right under my nose, and I let it all happen.

The chaotic soul shattering moment that happened to me… it helped me realize a lot of things.

This world, is not the same as the other one.

This world, will not wait for you to get off your seat.

This world, will always try to harm those you cared about… to harm you.

This world… will always be fucked up.

And I… will have to be the one to make sure it all doesn't go to hell.

Tomorrow, I will go back to the academy. I know that I can't stay there, and Veneo… he will understand.

It's time, I act. I can't stay and play around anymore. There are far more important things to be done out there, and things will only go worse the longer I stay.

I spent the rest of the few days trying to control my mind more by reading some books. Reading books has been my main attraction in this world, and it has been quite joyful. 

Sometimes I fill my mind with the fictions of this world. It is fascinating to see what kind of stories they can come up with in this world, and they are actually not that bad.

Thanks to reading books, I was able to gain full control of my emotions again. No, even better. 

At least now I won't have to worry about exploding. I gained insight on the things I needed to do. And I can tell my heart is gradually becoming stronger.

On the last day, right after it reached night time, I closed the book and slept. The next day, I closed the cave and removed the campfire. Then I flew back to the academy in the kingdom, which surprisingly is not that far from the beach.

Arriving at the front gate, the receptionist lady let me in and I walked past the gate. 

I can see a lot of students walking around the academy. They all glared at me as if I'm a walking ghost. I continued my walk all the way towards the middle building, and I arrived in front of the headmasters office.

I touched the door knob, and I got teleported inside.