Chapter CLXXVIII - Crimes of a Kingdom (part 1)

The rescued villagers were then evacuated from the kingdom's area even further from Veldon.

Some of them were told to stay at another nearby village further away from Veldonia by the knights. And since they had no homes to come back to, they had no choice but to follow.

It was a difficult choice, parting from their homes once more. But the situation was dire, and the rescued villagers understood that probably better than anyone, so they followed the knights willingly.

I parted with Lury, saying that I might visit her later on if I have the time. She was rather sorry that she didn't press the tool on time, which caused me to be late that night. But, I told her it was never her fault.

It was my fault. But of course, I can't tell her that.

After all the villagers have been evacuated, Mazino can now focus better on dealing with Veldonia.

The village that we previously visited became our most front base. The knights turned the war tent into a much larger one, capable of holding more people inside it. The buildings at the village were rebuilt, with the sole purpose of supporting the knights and combatants who were attending the scene.

We can see an entire division of knights in the village, possibly more from the other divisions. Every single one of them are all doing preparation for the upcoming war, no one is idle.

The adventurers weren't exactly invited to this war, but plenty of them still volunteered. And now they are down at the village slash base with the knights, befriending them and helping on some occasions.

And while everyone is busy doing their own things down there, like preparations and training, I was busy in my own deep thoughts.

I am currently sitting on top of the small hill where our team previously set our tents at, where me and Lescia first talked for the entire night in front of the campfire. Our tents have been moved slightly closer with the others down there at the village, so we can react better to the calling from the war room. Which means, this place is now empty.

But, I'm still kind of fond of this spot. Because from up here, I can see nearly everything. The village, the mountains on the left, and Veldon's tall towers on the further east.

Just a few days ago, this village was living peacefully. No problem at all, and the people are happy. And suddenly, it all changed when the Veldonians began to move their hands.

Now, all the buildings and houses have been turned to ashes, though some got rebuilt only for the knights to do stuff with it.

What was once a peaceful village was turned into ashes, and then changed into a front line base of operations for an upcoming war.

Fate is… incredibly weird.

"There you are."

A voice came from my left, and I didn't have to turn to know who it was.

Lescia came from the new war tent after a slight talk with a knight division commander who just arrived. After that, she went out to search for me.

"How did it go?"

I asked with a rather sorrowful tone, and Lescia replied similarly.

"... Bad. King Mejon sent a red letter to us, and we all know that a red letter means a declaration for war."

"I see..."

My face is still showing no signs of expression. I just stared at the village, with no expression worn at all. However, the entirety of my mind and heart is just fluctuating. 

Anger, sadness, confusion…

The same questions kept popping up in my head, the same ones as the one I would ask regarding my arrival here.

How did this happen…?

And why…?

What was the reason for… any of this?

Though I didn't let it out of my face, Lescia can tell. Even without her eyes of truth, she can tell that I am very flustered regarding everything. After all, showing no expression at a situation like this simply shows how messed up my current state is.

She unconsciously placed her hands on both of my shoulders as she leaned her body at me. I can feel her heartbeat very closely without even sharpening my senses, and I became confused as to why I suddenly became calmer.

"If anyone sees us… they might actually know, you know?"

I said while chuckling, but she still didn't move an inch.

"I don't care. I like it this way."

I simply let her hug me while I continued gazing towards the village.

"Lescia. Is it... wrong... to play god...?"

She moved her face closer to me and turned her eyes straight to mine. But, I'm still not turning to face her.

"What kind of question was that?"

Her eyes are staring at mine, but my eyes are still locked on the village in front of us.

I… don't want a war to happen, not now when we are already in a war with the demons. A civil war is the last thing we need right now, and we can't have our blood spilled before we even begin the real bloodbath.

Something tells me that some weird power is playing here… 

Why… did Veldonia start a move now?

Why now, of all times? They could've done something about a year and a half ago when I first dealt with their rebellion thing.

A war could have broken out right there and then… but it didn't.

Somehow… I feel like I'm close to the answer. But I just can't think of anything.

As my mind is working at its hardest, certain words began to arrive at the surface of my brain. Words that Lescia said to me yesterday at the inn.

"You said… that the goddess said something about a hero from another world."

Hearing that being brought up, Lescia looked surprised.

"Yes? Do you not feel like you are a hero?"

"… I don't. 

Heroes… fight for the sake of other people. Most of the time, I fight for my own sake, or for the sake of convenience. Because whenever I fight for other people… I just failed."

"What do you mean… 'Failed'?"

I went silent to her question as I recalled all of my failures. 

That time when I fought to protect the citizens of Xyphon, a lot of mages still died. The time when I fought the demons back at the academy, I was so focused on trying to get to safety and protect everyone, but I got beaten down badly.

The only reason for any of the events in my life when I succeeded… was when I fought only for myself. Those demons at the academy died, only after I fought out of rage from betrayal. The elder dragon that we fought not too long ago, only died so quickly because I was fighting to test out the new scythe.

That time at the Yellow ranked dungeon, I was able to activate the first devil mode because I became angry, not because I was trying to save Hod. Because I was so pissed of reality, and because I was angry at the unfairness that this shitty world has given me. Not because I was trying to save him.

And right now… What is it am I fighting for?

Is it for the people of Veldonia? The people of Mazino?

Or was it for my own sake?

Was fighting for your own sake something that a hero can do?

Am I… really the hero that the goddess meant?

I turned my confused gaze to Lescia, and realized that she was staring dead to my eyes. Seeing her eyes this close, I remembered why I fell for her at first sight.

Beautiful and pale gray eyes, decorated with the naturally perfect golden eyelashes that match her pale eyes perfectly. She has the perfect pair of eyes that only a certain goddess can rival, and I have never seen anyone so beautiful, ever.

I would have fallen for her once more right now, if it wasn't for the annoyed expression she is wearing. Seeing that, I became confused.

She placed both of her hands to my face, and with firmness, she spoke.

"What you think about yourself… It never mattered. Those failures that you mentioned, they happen not because you are trying to save people. They happen simply because you are… unlucky.

Isn't that how it always is? Unluckiness?"

She began… spewing some words that barely made sense. But, I do understand what she meant.

"I mean, think about it. I was born as the sole daughter of a king, and immediately received a powerful curse on my heart when I was only seven. If you think that's unlucky, then what about you? Living normally, but then arriving here in another body.

It is all just… unlucky. We both experienced it… on a daily basis. You don't have to question whether or not you are a hero. You are, and you always are, and you will always be one. It's just that sometimes, we are simply too unlucky. 

Plus, what's wrong with being selfish?"

I was opening my eyes widely while listening to her, but after hearing that last question, I chuckled out of nowhere.

"W-What? Was I wrong??"

"Not really. It's just that you suck at giving pep talks."

She began putting pressure into the hands that is holding my cheeks, and I can feel my mouth getting crushed.

"H-Hoy!!"

"I'm just trying to support you, you know…?"

Lescia is now wearing a really disappointed face, and of course I laughed at that.

Looks like talking to her has given me some energy. Maybe it was not the insight I wanted, but it is the one I needed very much.

I am… a hero.

Maybe I have failed in the past.

But it was simply because I am… unlucky.

This time, however…

Even if it was for a selfish reason…

Even if I have to fail a thousand times…

I will make sure I succeed at the end.

As a selfish hero.