Regiment: Preparation for the known unknown.

Days became weeks and weeks to months. Blaire was growing well. Health-wise slightly below average. It was a slow growth as her body was slightly weaker than normal. But no complications or any illness that broke her down. Same for Caela, she’s already healed that she and father are back at it.

It’s been Eight months and Blaire is already mid crawl, able to stand up with little support. She’s not as destructive like most babies but she’s all over the place.

As you can imagine I had been prohibited from coming close to her. Got the warning from one time when I was close by and the same, got a beating saying that I wanted to harm her.

In case you’re wondering yes I turned five some three months ago. Spent it in the backyard staring into the wide blue with splashes of white and the orange and yellow of leaves and weeds. They forget I existed with Blaire around. Had to scrounge in the kitchen when they are not looking. Managed doing it for the eight months without getting caught. Or perhaps they knew and just ignored. No, they once fear that I’d poison them so they band me for entering there. So probably it was left there for me to find.

All in all it wasn’t that bad. Still wearing my tattered rags but I look a little better than before.

I do take time to watch Blaire from afar. She is really adorable. Her light blue eyes like crystals and her small adorable size. Unlike me who took the deep brown hair of Varden—gotten used to saying their names now, calling them by their titles still leaves a foul aftertaste—Blaire took the Black of Caela’s, though there were a few brown strands in there if you look closely.

Unlike how they tried to push the little girl away from me, should she see me close by she’d turn into my direction staring deep into my eyes, like she was looking for something in them.

The way they try so hard to treat me like an abomination in front of her is amusing. Most of the time she try coming over to me, though stopped by Caela and or Varden.

Let me share a bit of secret. Since I have nothing much to do and have absolutely no clue as to what to is in this town, province, country and world. I decided doing anything and all when no one is looking during these months.

First I begun with building stamina. Either down in the basement or in the yard, mostly at night, I begun the strenuous regiments and exercises from my past lives. I broke a branch off the tree in the yard and begun swinging and phantom sparring. For a tiny body such as mine it was hellish but I took to it just like all the time I did in the lives before. I burnt more energy than I could fill but it also helps with the stamina and strength building process.

I do have a feeling that it is possible to use the ‘arts’ in this world, but since I have no idea the possibility and implication should they find out, I will refrain. In the life before this, power called by many worlds and lifetimes called magic was non-existent. You survived with your own strength and cunning. But even so there was still powers at work there, extremely rare as it was. I didn’t bother about it since I didn’t care. But it was possible that I could have learned it if I found someone to teach me.

Not that I want to. Because it will increase my chances of survival. Though I want to prolong my stay from going into another time I don’t want it to be longer. Besides I’m still not a fan of such.

Every lifetime with its diversified power. They were similar yet not the same. As so, they have different approach to learning and mastering them, that is with the exception of combat and weapon handling, it is applicable in any world and in any lifetime. Sometimes the vessels I find myself in isn’t build to learn the arts of such powers and sometimes not the arts of combat. A few times I was just average or below, helpless to do anything than leave through the turmoil awaiting my death. Sometimes, even so I took to strength training to build my muscles even a little, to help wield a weapon and raise my chances and will my survival.

This body feels like one I could do all if I put my mind to it.

Is there a reason for having this body? I have no idea.

But I will just stick to the muscle training and have my body memorize every move from my lifetimes.

Why do I do this? Because I have nothing else to do to pass the time will I wait for the story to finally begin. This premise is still ongoing.

How I wish it could have already begun. Death would have drawn closer and I will be free of this world. Or rather go through the flow and see how I end.

Why not just end my own life and be done with it? I’ve done it so many times that it’s just as pointless as waiting for death to come on its own.

Second, was just basic preparation. Tune my mind to this world blocking out the unrelated memories from the past. I feel as if all the tiles to this game, called story has been set and so the first chapter will begin.

I ignored the pain Varden and Caela dished out if they find fault to the chore thy assign. When Blaire is close seeing this she breaks into tears.

Was she scared for me? Or did she know how it must feel? Maybe it just didn’t seem right to her?

When I see her crying like that, probably for me, I can’t help my faint a smile. If it was for me. Then it truly is a noble gesture.

I just hope that as she grows she doesn’t loose that innocence I see in her eyes and turn out like them.

I guess they got the wrong idea seeing my smile and I got bruised some more from the beating. They peep at me with intense scorn and disgust. Branding me a true devil that revels in his pain, masochist and hurled the usual plus more hateful words. Well I can’t blame them. Not many people can smile when taking a beating…

I stand outside, in a stance, the end of the branch clasped in both hands doing warm up swings. I don’t know what would come in the coming years nor what story will unfold. But I want to at least be prepared. Not to put up a fight, no. Should it be my time I will accept it but rather to have something to look forward to even if it will always end the same as always.

I turn the blade horizontally solidifying my stance then I begin moving, mimicking the battle arts from all those lifetimes, practicing, that one of these days I achieve the perfection I once had (in the countless lifetimes), though doing this was till a pastime…

Can’t say I’m looking forward to how the story goes. I’d much prefer everything as is but I feel the storms of despair brewing.

I straighten myself looking towards the mountain range in the distance.