Chapter 54: Rollercoaster of Emotions

After enjoying ourselves at the amusement park, Yukino looked really tired so we went straight to the hotel that we booked for the night. It was about a 30 minute drive away from Osaka. It was already late so the ride was smooth sailing. We arrived at the hotel around 10:15 PM. 

The hotel was very different from the one we stayed at last night. It's modern looking and luxurious. This is what you would expect when the reservation took a toll on our wallets. 

There's a king sized bed by the far end corner of the room and beside it was a working desk with a lamp. A rather simple room but really spacious. 

"This room's very different from the one we had last night." Said Yukino.

"Do you not like it?" 

"It's not that I don't like it. Just that I've never stayed in a hotel room this fancy ever." 

"Then you should enjoy our stay here." 

We settled down in the room after taking a hot bath. Both of us wore the robe provided by the hotel. It was indeed fancy, wearing a robe this fancy is making me a bit restless. 

"Want to play some chess?" Suggested Yukino.

"Sure. I'm really bad at it though." 

"That's fine." 

That was a lie. Back in my elementary days, I used to join chess competitions outside of school. And not just participate in it, I would mostly win my competitions. In fact, I was even famous around the prefecture way back then. I bet this will surprise her. 

We started playing chess and Yukino's expression let out a serious vibe which actually looked a bit scary. It felt like if she made a mistake, she'd just impose violence on me. The match started as I gave her a bit of an advantage, sacrificing one of my two horses. This much should be done for my cover to not be blown away. I'm acting like a beginner after all. 

"You are indeed bad at this Aoi." 

Hehe. She took the bait. Now it's time for your suffering. I played seriously as I took all of Yukino's major pieces one by one which seemed to irritate her. That alone was amusing. 

"Checkmate!" Said I. Declaring my one sided dominant performance.

"Ugh! What should I do?" 

"It's over, just accept it." 

"You! You're good at chess! You acted like a noob then destroyed me after that horse blunder! That's a cheeky move!" 

"I used to compete way back after all hehe." Said I with a smug face. 

"I'm a bit tired, let's sleep, Aoi." 

"Yeah sure. I'm a bit tired from all that driving as well." 

I turned off the lights and left the lamp on the desk turned on. It just felt more aesthetic and sweet doing that. We went to bed as Yukino held my hand tightly. 

"What's up? Don't tell me you're scared of the dark?" 

"I'm scared Aoi. Not of the dark." 

"Scared of what then?" 

"I don't want to die. I want to spend more time with you. With the guys." 

I didn't have an answer for her nor do I know what to tell a dying person scared of dying. I doubt that any words that I say will make her okay. So I just wrapped my arms around her and hugged her ever so tightly.

"Aoi, make sure that you become a world renowned writer, okay? I might not be there when that happens so it made me jealous of the other guys who'll be there to cheer you on. I want to know a lot more things about you Aoi. I envy them for being able to spend much longer time with you. I'm also scared. What if you stop writing when I'm gone? What if you lose the smile that you regained once again. Who'll be there to support you? I'm scared Aoi." Said Yukino while crying in my arms.

"I promise you that I won't stop writing. And I also promise that I'll protect this smile that you gave me. Sure, once you're gone I might even fall into a slump or even lose this smile. But I promise you, I'll try my very best to bring myself back up. No matter what." 

We fell asleep that night in each other's arms. But the very next day, tears came running down my cheeks as soon as I opened my eyes. What I feared that one day might happen really did happen. I pinched my cheeks and even punched myself to wake me up from this bad dream. But it seems that this is reality. 

Yukino wasn't by my side when I woke up, not even a single trace of her was left in the room besides her lingering scent. Not even her things. 

I made my way to the desk to find a letter from Yukino. It was inside a white enveloped that says "To Aoi. I'm sorry and I love you." on the outside. 

"Dear Aoi, I'm sorry to leave you here without any notice. Please don't worry since I asked uncle to pick me up. I'm also sorry that we weren't able to finish our trip on a good note. But this much should be done. I'm writing this letter to break up with you. Please Aoi, grant my request and not contact me anymore. Doing so will only make me back off on the resolve I work so hard to find just to make this decision. Being with you makes me turn away from the harsh reality that I'm about to face sooner rather than later. Death is what awaits me but everytime that I'm with you, it makes me cling on to life even more that will make it harder for me to accept my fate. I really enjoyed the time that we spent together and nothing can ever replace that in my heart. Thank you for making me the happiest on my remaining days Aoi. But I have to face it now. Please let me prepare for my death Aoi. It is now time for me to let go of trying to live. I love you Aoi. Please, do your best in writing. I'll always be watching from far away." 

Tears just went down my eyes as if my heart stopped beating. It aches that she's leaving me like this. I fell down and lied on the floor trying to find any significant energy that may bring me back to my feet but found no luck in doing so. I tried calling her but she already blocked my number.

I guess she's really breaking up with me huh? I think I need time to process all these. It's just too much for me right now. How can I go from having the best days of my life to this state? I really do hate roller coasters.