Chapter 70: Light amidst the darkness

A year had already passed since I've won the competition in August last year. I've been here in Paris ever since. My life revolved around working, drinking with Hajime, and going back home to my apartment. 

During the past year, Lambert and I were able to produce another novel which was a huge success. Everything was smooth sailing and I kept my mind busy with work during those times. You can say that I've become workaholic. 

Today was the start of my vacation which I don't exactly know how long would last. It's just that I've finished my book and I can take a long vacation. I didn't exactly know what to do so I took a walk downtown to take a breather. 

I stumbled upon a cafe which greatly reminded me of the diner where the group would usually hangout. I sure do miss them. After all, I haven't been in contact with them after telling them about the award I won last year. 

I chose to not contact them even Shin just to help myself get away from anything that would remind me of Yukino. The first months after her death made me crumble after all. I do feel bad but I was left with no choice but to do what I did. I wonder how they are doing. I hope they're doing well.

I sat at the cafe for hours just reading a novel I brought with me and ordering cups of coffee. 

Just right before sundown, I felt someone sat on the chair on the other side of the table so I put down my book to look at the person. I was surprised and tears just fell down on my face. It was uncle who already grew a beard. 

"I finally found you kid." Said uncle as his eyes got all teared up. 

"Uncle." 

"I promised Yukino that I'll take care of you after her death so I've been searching for you this past month. It was indeed a struggle but it was all worthwhile now that I've found you." 

"I'm sorry uncle. I just don't know how I would face you guys. Everything that would remind me of her just hurts so much." 

"That's why I'm here kid. I'll help you accept everything and help you live life to the fullest. You don't have to keep yourself caged. I'm here to help you move forward while we carry her in our hearts. We'll help each other move forward." 

"It's already too late uncle. I wasn't even there at her funeral. She won't forgive me at this point." 

"Do you really think that our Yukino would get mad over such things? You know her too well. She left a letter for you. If you don't mind reading it please do. She told me to make you read it no matter what."

Uncle handed me an envelope with a letter inside. I opened it while my hand was shaking. 

"Aoi, if you're reading this, I'm probably dead already. I'm writing this letter as a farewell after all. You must read this. No ifs and buts, you have to read it so don't go quitting half way. So let's start over. Hello Aoi, I wonder how you're doing in France right now. You're probably thinking of me but I know that you'll manage. You're a superb writer after all. So yeah, I'm writing this letter after you visiting me. I was really surprised when you showed up by my hospital room that I didn't know what to do nor what I should say. But I was glad Aoi, to see you like that awkwardly. If I were to be completely honest, I'm scared of dying knowing that that was the last time we'll ever see each other. I already understood that this is as far as I go and I'm happy that you went back here in Japan just to send me off properly. I've always been thankful Aoi, ever since the day that I first met you up until today. Those nights walks that we did, the way you made me open myself up to other people, the trip, and for making me happy as well as loving me. Knowing my condition, I never imagined that I'll be in a relationship. Yet you changed that Aoi. You made me feel loved even after knowing that I'm dying. Thank you for making me live life to the fullest and insisting that I be selfish. If it wasn't for you I would have lived a life full of regrets. Before I end this long message of mine, I'm running out of paper to write on after all. I want you to move forward with your head held up high. Smile the brightest like when we would have those night walks. Achieve everything that you dreamed of. I may not be by your side but know that I'm always watching from faraway. Sorry to be leaving you this early Aoi, only if I could I would have spend a lot more time with you. I'll be ending this letter here Aoi. I hope that in another life, we get to love each other eternally. I love you Aoi. I always will. See me when you're ready okay? Goodbye my dear writer. PS: I've already finished the video, go get it from uncle."

I leaned my head face down on the table and started crying my heart out. Uncle never said a word and let my pour out all of my bottled emotions that I've been holding for a year. It felt good to let it all out. As if that letter took out all the weight I've been carrying all this time. I never knew that even after all this time, she will be the one saving me from the depths of the deep ocean where I secluded myself. She was once again the light that reached out to me. I bet that she will always be. 

"Let's go back home Aoi. Or do you have work?" Said uncle. 

"I have all the time in the world uncle."