Murong Ce was in such agony, yet he didn't hate Li Xianyun at all, but rather desired her even more.
It was all his own fault how Li Xianyun treated him, and he knew it.
Murong Ce had known from an early age that he was not a normal person, twisted, extreme, violent.
Vindictive to a fault.
Yet, he was exceptionally tolerant of Li Xianyun, as if no matter what she did, he never got angry, never hated her.
Murong Ce couldn't understand himself.
Why was he so tolerant towards Li Xianyun, of all people?
Murong Ce didn't love himself—in fact, he despised himself, intensely hating himself ever since he could remember.
The world had shown him nothing but ugliness, sin, and desire.
He loved Li Xianyun, loved not only her as a person but also the goodness and kindness she possessed—qualities he had never owned, thus he treasured them even more.
Murong Ce never cherished his own life.
He was willing to risk his life to obtain everything he desired.