It was afternoon and the last day of the eclipse, when Regan was wandering around the castle. She had been thinking about the fight all the time, but she hadn't seen Sirius anywhere. She had wanted to avoid him but she wasn't sure if he even was in the castle. The halls had been silent, with only servants around. She hadn't even felt his presence. It felt foolish to admit she missed him.
A servant had told her they were going to fight in the courtyard and that was where she was going. The courtyard was much far away from the castle. It was a large, open space, surrounded by fortified cloisters, with towers at each corner.
The courtyard had four tall monoliths at each cardinal direction, each one carved with different creatures: an eagle, a griffin, a serpent, and a dragon. The pavement was made of stone and other than that, there was nothing else.
And it was scary how she was going to fight him there, since except for the monoliths, there weren't other places to hide. Yes, she could hide behind the castle's walls, but she'd look like a coward. The fight was supposed to be brave and honorable.
However, it felt like a lie. She didn't know what she was doing anymore. He was right. Maybe she did have feelings for him. It was bad, terrible even. But it was there. She couldn't deny it. She hated him, she wanted to hurt him, but at the same time... She didn't know. It was all so confusing.
And the worst, how could she have this fight when all she could think about was how he caressed her face that morning, how he was so gentle with her? She told her mother about all this because she couldn't keep it to herself, she needed someone to understand.
Her mother was against that duel. She was worried and all, but Regan couldn't back down now. If she did that, he'd haunt her for the rest of her life. It was better to get this over with, she thought. But what if she lost? He'd keep saying that she had feelings for him and that she should be with him. She couldn't let that happen. She'd find a way to beat him, to make sure he'd never say that again.
She turned back to her chamber, her mother was there, waiting for her.
"Sweetie, you don't have to do this," Octavia said when Regan turned back in their room."
"I'm not going to kill anyone, mom," Regan said.
"It's not that, my dear. It's something else," her mother said, her gaze on the floor.
"What is it now, mom?" Regan asked.
"About the bond," Octavia said, weighing the words carefully. "There's something you don't know about it."
"What?"
"There's something factual about it but seems like no one told you," her mother said, taking Regan's hands in hers."
"What is it, mom? Say it," Regan said, becoming impatient.
"The bond....I mean, these types of bonds that occur between two who have no blood connection, they link the two together by soul and that....that means they're soulmates."
Octavia's words hit Regan like a slap on the back of her head. "Wha....what? What does that mean?"
"It means thay the most recent keepers of the eternal ember are soulmates," Octavia said in a breath, her voice trembling slightly. She had never wanted to say that, but Regan didn't know anything about it. And she couldn't just let her daughter not know something like this. "And the current last keeper of the eternal ember is and you and him."
"Mom, no!" Regan exclaimed, rising from her seat. Was he seriously being told that now? After so much time of knowing him? "He's not my soulmate, that's absurd!"
"He is, Ylor. You can't change that. But you can chose to not act upon it. You can chose to forget it and to not let it dictate your life or your decisions."
Regan's mind raced. Soulmates? She had never thought it like that. No one had ever told her. And what did that mean? That when she....she would supposedly marry someone one day, Sirius would be her soulmate for life? No, that wasn't right. "And I'm learning that just now?"
"I'm sorry, my dear," Octavia said, "but I thought you knew. Someone should've told you. I told you because you had to know."
"But I don't care about it, mom. I don't care that he's my soulmate," Regan muttered, the word 'soulmate' sounding foreign. Soulmates were supposed to love each other and in her mind he did anything but love her.
"I know," her mother said, giving Regan a warm smile. "But I don't want you to fight. Not with magic or any other weapon."
"No, it's settled," Regan said. "I'm not going to back down. "I don't care about soulmates, bonds and feelings. I'm going to defeat him."
Octavia shook her head, "He would never accept defeat."
"But it's better than surrendering," Regan countered. "She didn't want to lose her mother and her pride, "Because if I surrender or lose, he's going to gloat and say that I have feelings for him and that I should be with him. I can't let that happen."
Her mother sighed and held her hand, "Then you must do whatever it takes, but be careful, my love. Please." Octavia leaned forward and kissed Regan's forehead, "He might be lying to you. What if he won't fight alone? What if he brings others with him?"
Regan frowned. "I've thought about that. I'll just have to be ready for anything, I guess." She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. "I'll find a way to win. Even if he cheats, I'll find a way to beat him." Her mother nodded, a worried look on her face.
Octavia stood up from the bed and took a dagger hidden in a closet. The dagger was sharp and cold as ice. "Just in case," she whispered. She handed the dagger to Regan, who took it with a shaky hand.
"Thank you, mom."
Regan knew that he had said 'no weapons', but what if he lied? What if he brought one with him anyway? She couldn't risk it. She had her sword but it'd be too obvious if she just showed up with that. And her mother gave her this dagger, she could use that as a backup plan. She placed it under the bed's pillow, hiding it from view.
The rest of the night passed in her worries. The word soulmate took root in her mind and she couldn't shake it off. She was worried about how she was going to fight him too, how she would react if he brought the feelings matter to her again, and what she would do if he actually brought someone else with him. And the anticipation to see him, when she hadn't seem him for these days, was infuriatingly nervous. She barely slept, tossing and turning the whole night. Her mother noticed and tried to soothe her by holding her close. Regan ended up getting hungry and eating breakfast before she knew it.
The sun rays were just starting to peek through the windows as Regan went to the kitchen again, her heart racing with fear and determination. She ended up eating again, trying to fill energy since she didn't even sleep well.
After she ate, her mother gave her some strong, thick clothes that were made of leather. "They'll help protect you," she said. Regan found herself sweating already as she put them on. She wasn't sure if it was because of the layers of clothes or the nervousness that was building up inside her.
Her mom escorted her to the courtyard, where the duel was supposed to take place. It was still early, the sun barely peeking over the horizon, casting a warm glow on the stone walls and the monoliths. The wind was blowing, but it was still warm, making Regan sweat even more in her thick leather clothes.
She tried to calm herself down and her mother gave her some drink to help her calm down her nerves. The drink had the taste of chocolate milk but her mother said the name in an unknown languange that Regan had no idea off. She took a sip and felt it ease her throat, slowly making her feel more relaxed. But she could still feel the tension in her muscles, the worry in her gut.
She looked around, no sight of him at all. Maybe, just maybe, he decided to postpone or not show up. A glimmer of hope filled her chest, but it was quickly replaced by doubt as she knew that he was too arrogant to back down from a challenge. The courtyard was empty, her mother standing there beside her, trying to comfort her.
"Sweetie, you know you can decline this. You don't have to care what he says. Even if he mocks you around, it doesn't matter. Your safety is more important."
But even as Regan heard her mother's words, she couldn't back down. Everything he'd say, made her madly affected. She couldn't just ignore it and move on. She had to show that she was stronger and didn't have feeli
ngs for him.
"Good morning, ladies," came the familiar voice from behind them.