Dead Inside

25 January, 1369. St Ivan's Palace, Havietten.

Celia knew what day it was before she'd even opened her eyes. She felt too tired to face the world.

It had been almost a week since she'd last spoken with Lucas. She was still too ashamed to face him after that evening when he'd been forced to hide in her dressing room.

Instead, she hid like a coward in her apartments all day, only emerging when she had to accompany Tobin to dinner. She'd sit at the high table and stare straight ahead, refusing to speak or make eye contact with anyone.

It was also the fifth morning in a row when she'd woken up feeling like she was about to vomit.

So far, she'd managed to avoid that. She'd just stay quietly in bed, breathing slowly and willing the nausea to fade away. She'd lie as still as a marble statue and focus on anything she could think of - the chirping of the dawn's first birds, the sound of her breathing. Even Tobin's snoring was something to listen to.