Thoughts

Eighty-Four:

Past

'Aduma abr Vergathos'

I stare at the water flowing unstoppable. A no beginning and no end entry and exit which is why I don't know where I should begin to look at.

"Here you are." The guardian that guided me here as Ilmatar commanded speaks up to give me the goblet that I will use to get water from 'Aduma abr Vergathos'.

I took it and ask. "Will I be able to forget everything?"

"Indeed, your memories will be totally erased as soon as you drink from the water flowing here."

I look at it and finally step closer though doubt suddenly arises from deep within me.

"What kind of this feeling I feel?"

"You just need to ignore it because after you drink the water from 'Aduma abr Vergathos' you will forget everything you feel."

I look back to him before turning back my gaze at the water. Then, finally I scoop enough water to drink and without further thinking I drink it to its last drop.

*** ***

Present

"Are they gone back?" I asked as I notice Dione.

"Why don't' you make sure they leave yourself?"

"I can't and you knew why."

Dione sighed. "They already left."

"I'm glad they will soon back to earth."

"Is that enough for you?"

"Yes, that will be enough."

"Almos––"

"This is the right thing to do to make her safe. Because as long as I'm around Jeanne, darkness will continue to follow her and I am not sure if I can safe her at all times."

"You will never know if darkness won't follow her if you're gone, Almos." Dione exclaimed.

"No, I know I am right." I firmly and positively answered. "And you couldn't change what I already decided. Besides, Asim promise me that he will protect her no matter what and I believe him he will."

"Fine! Do whatever you want and whatever you believe." She finally surrenders. "I'll also stay by her side till the end even if you don't ask me."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me it is my choice to stay by her side without any influence from you. So don't." she firmly stated that I just nodded in silence. "Anyway, just so you know, Jeanne has not yet drunk the bottle of water you gave to Asim. Because I think she's still contemplating about it."

"She will drink it." I positively answered.

"You're pretty sure she'll drink it."

"Indeed I am."

Dione shrugs off before sighing heavily. "Whatever! Anyway, as I said, I will stay by her side so you have nothing to worry about, I'll guard her till the end."

"Thank you." I said it once again.

"Again, don't thank me. It is my choice and she's my best friend, a very important person that I care and love so much. Period."

…

"How long are you going to stay here, Almos?"

I look back to see God Kamali staring at me as his question just passed by onto me.

"He seems lost." It was Angel Zamariel who answered.

Kamali sighs before coming to my side. "Why don't you go and check if she's back safely?"

"I can't!" I finally speak a word after a long time of silence. After Dione left me, I don't know how long did I stayed looking for nothing and if it wasn't for Kamali, I wouldn't dare to move and speak.

"Don't punish yourself from the unknown past, Almos. Because if you continue to conceal what you truly want to do, it will only fall back to you, which I know you understand."

"No!" I answered as I shake my head in disbelief. "I can't! I know my memories from the past are still incomplete but one thing is for sure that I couldn't just ignore. It is my fault why she is in danger that is why I'll do anything to safe her at all means without involving myself to her."

"It might be true, you may able to safe her by doing what you think is right but then…"

"Then what?" I curiously asked after his long paused.

"You still don't know the full story, Almos. You didn't even open the Crystal Heart that was given to you by Ilmatar."

"Why? Will it change my decision if I fully recover my memories?"

"You will only know." He answered that curious my intention.

I took out the Crystal Heart and stare at it longer before I speak. "What was there on my past life? Why it connects me from my present self?"

"All your questions may only be answer if you let yourself learn the truth about your past."

"You also knew who am I before, am I right?"

"Indeed I knew who you are. However it is not my place to tell you about it. It is all up to you, if you want to know the whole truth then use that Crystal Heart that you, yourself created."

"I created this?"

"Yes, to restore your entire memories and secured it until the right time comes. And this is it. Just open it and let all your memories come back."

*** ***

'Almos Thoughts'

I remember the last sentence God Morpheus said to me when I'm fixing my realm at the Dream World.

"Things will change between the two of you."

Yes, we are change but not because of the memories we are trying to find out but because of the events happened around us. After losing the one person I trusted and followed ever since I was born, things never been the same.

I know it was hard for Jeanne's part when I just suddenly end everything about us, even though the truth I don't want to end it. I just don't have a choice but to do so, since I cannot allow her to change after knowing the whole truth.

However, looking at the Crystal Heart given by Ilmatar I cannot decide if I let myself know the truth in one go or I let myself to slowly remember on my own…

*** ***