Prologue: Love isn’t blind, It just only sees what matters.

Slap!

The handsome face turned sideways in response to the loud slap, causing everyone in Larngear to turn and look at the spectacle of a couple arguing. Actually, it shouldn't be called an argument because, from the moment he started watching, the tall figure just stood there listening to the other person speak, occasionally responding as if trying to persuade her to stay.

He didn't know what words were being thrown out.

But the listener was silent, leaving him wondering what he was thinking.

He might be hurting. Who knew?

"Damn, I feel pain for Pluem."

"If it were me, there would be a KO by now."

"Soi would be KO'd?"

"I would be KO'd." The two friends joked with each other annoyingly. He heard a bit of their teasing, but it wasn't enough to distract him from the scene. It was as if the atmosphere held him there, making him focus on the hidden pain beneath that person's silence.

Pluem, a fourth-year engineering student, was humiliated by being slapped in Larngear.[1]

The sacred place of engineering students.

"You're staring really hard, Prod."

He froze.

"You're staring like that and not going to help him?" And as if the point was being overlooked, one of his friends turned to look at Konprod, sitting with his chin resting on his hand, watching the scene before him. The chocolate milkshake, which he usually didn't drink often, was picked up and sipped before he exhaled a sigh of exhaustion at his friend.

"Shut the fuck up!"

He replied softly, in his usual style. Why bother speaking nicely when they were annoying him?

"Hey, you're cursing at me again. I'm just trying to show you the right path."

"Really?" The small figure smiled sarcastically, shaking his head slowly in disbelief. "You guys are just annoying me. You're not really showing me the right path."

"Hell, I just want my friend to achieve his dreams."

"That's right, Prod. This might be the only chance in your life." He chuckled a little as if he had just heard a joke. What did he mean by 'the only chance in his life'?

He knew very well that the chance had been ruined long ago.

"If you don't do it, you'll regret it when he finds a new girl."

"I stopped feeling sad whenever he found someone new long ago, Pee."

"..."

"This isn't the first time, you know." He smiled, not out of pain, because it was the truth. It wasn't like this was a new occurrence. People falling in love and dating were normal. He had seen it happen many times before.

Enough times to remember that she wasn't the first one to slap him.

After the slap and having said her piece, the arts campus belle turned on her heel and walked away, leaving the man standing there alone. He stared at the ground, his shoulders moving with each breath. He must be tired of the relationship that they had to maintain.

It seemed like this girlfriend was more exhausting than all the others.

One could tell from his Facebook and Instagram posts, where he posted drama almost every day. The gossipers knew and would chitchat about it. Pluem seemed to understand that but couldn't repress his feelings. Sometimes, people needed to vent, even if the place they vent had people waiting to catch them in the act and watching all the time.

Even Konprod, who didn't use many applications, knew the news. He didn't hear it from the gossipers.

He monitored it directly himself.

If you ask why he wanted to know so much,

He would probably say it was normal for someone who had a crush on Pluem for a long time.

Seven years already.

"But if you try to step out of this stance once, I think you might have a chance again."

"..."

"If you go to him, you can tell him you like him. Then he might finally like you back." His two best friends encouraged him, but he just sighed and shook his head. There was no need to confess to someone who would never reciprocate his feelings. Because even if he confessed, Pluem would never date a man like him.

Pluem liked women.

And he liked Pluem.

What a bad joke.

"Should I call him over?"

"Are you guys this serious about studying?"

"Ah?!"

"It's just a nonsense. You guys don't need to bother," he replied dismissively, even though he was smiling. He never wanted the chance to confess his feelings for him, knowing what the outcome would be, as he had said. He couldn't make anyone like him. It was a matter of the heart.

We were only in control of our feelings.

"Soon, he'll have a new girlfriend. He doesn't really have a type."

"Don't you ever think about entering yourself into his life?"

"I've tried."

"..."

"And it fell apart." He laughed softly as if the statement was a joke. Contrary to his friends, who seemed shocked for a moment, he knew they wanted him to try harder for Pluem. But liking him for seven years was already a big enough effort.

There was no need to change anything. Konprod was happy with where he was.

"Just let it be," he patted his friend's back and exhaled, pretending not to feel anything as he glanced in the direction Pluem had walked off. Then he pulled something out of his bag, scanning the words written on it.

It was a notebook for recording memories. Inside were stories of the person he had secretly liked for seven years.

From the first day they met.

"One, two, three," he muttered, counting something while processing his mind before turning to the last page of the notebook. He penned down the thoughts that had been lingering in his head. It was a recent event that had just happened. The message might have made anyone who saw it raise eyebrows, unlike the notebook owner, who didn't think much of it.

He just wanted to take note of all the time that had passed...

'Break up with the 20th girlfriend'

He liked a man who had dated twenty women.

I'm waiting to see the twenty-first, Pluem :)

----------------

[1] Larngear is the courtyard of the Faculty of Engineering, Chulalongkorn University, Thailand's top university.