ALEX

Alone in the waiting room, the silence presses against me, suffocating, as I sink into a chair, my body heavy with an invisible weight. The clock ticks endlessly, each second dragging like hours, but it feels like I've been sitting here for eternity. Guilt gnaws at me, a relentless, insidious presence. Fear curls in my gut, turning it over and over, while helplessness wraps around my chest, making it harder to breathe. I want to scream, to do something, anything, to take away the pain. But I can't. Not now. Not until I know she's okay. 

My hands shake as I run them through my hair, the stress pulling at every nerve. The chaos of the day—the gunshot, the blood, Zoe—runs like a broken film reel in my mind, replaying over and over in violent, twisted flashes. Each image burns my soul, and I can't erase the memory of her falling, her body crumpling like a fragile doll. That was my fault. If I hadn't frozen, if I hadn't been so damn selfish, she wouldn't have been in the line of fire. 

"Alex," Leah's voice is soft, like she's afraid to break me. But she does. 

I turn to face her, but my eyes betray me—tears spill down my cheeks, hot and fast, and I wipe them away angrily, as if I could erase the ache inside me. She sits beside me, her hand hesitantly reaching out. But I pull away. Not because I don't want her comfort, but because I can't accept anything until I know she's okay. I can't feel anything else until I know Zoe's going to be alright.

"She's going to be fine, Alex. You just need to calm down," Leah says softly, her voice warm and comforting, but it only amplifies the ache, the regret gnawing at my insides. I know she's trying to help, but the words only ring hollow, echoing in my mind like a lie.

I can't help it. "It's all my fault." The words fall from my mouth before I can stop them, shaking with the weight of what I've done. "I should have protected her. I should have been there. She didn't deserve this. I should have known she wouldn't step back. I should've pushed her out of the way, told her to move, anything. God, I should've seen it coming. Everything is my fault."

My chest tightens as the wave of guilt nearly suffocates me. I lean forward, clutching my knees, my voice breaking. "I should've trusted her. I should've believed her. Zoe never cheated on me. I should've known that. I should've fought for her, not pushed her away because of some lies Peter told me. God, I should've been better. I should've never doubted her. I should've never believed him. What did Peter know anyway? He had no right to do what he did to us. I—" I cut myself off with a sob, unable to finish the thought. I've already said too much. I've already broken myself apart. I don't know how to put myself back together.

Leah's voice is tentative, but she presses on. "I know it's hard, Alex, but you need to hear me. She wouldn't have said no if you'd apologized. You both were hurting, and she hadn't gotten over you even though she dated other people." 

The words hit me like a freight train, and I'm frozen. 

"She dated someone else after our breakup?" I whisper, my voice cracking under the weight of the words. The realization stabs through me, a visceral, gut-wrenching pain. A wave of possessiveness surges through me, wild and uncontrollable. The thought of Zoe with anyone else… it sends a cold shiver down my spine.

"Yeah," Leah responds, unaware of the storm inside me. "She dated a few people in January, but it didn't last more than a week—sometimes just a day or two. She never really got over you, Alex. She wanted you, even after everything."

Her words are a dagger to my heart. I clench my fists so tightly that my nails dig into my palms, but I don't care. "She wanted me," I whisper to myself, the meaning of it settling heavy in my chest. That single phrase makes my blood boil and my heart ache. I never stopped loving her. I never stopped wanting her. But now... I can't have her, not like this. 

Leah's words continue to echo in my mind. She never got over me. Zoe never stopped loving me, even when I pushed her away. And I've never hated myself more than I do right now. 

I look at Leah, my eyes wide, the raw emotion spilling out of me. "Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she say anything?" My voice cracks as I plead with her for answers I don't think she has. But I need them. I need to know. 

Leah doesn't answer immediately, but when she does, her voice is soft, laced with empathy. "Because she thought you wouldn't believe her. She thought she wasn't worth fighting for anymore. She thought you'd given up."

The pain in her voice makes my heart ache even more. I did that to her. I made her feel like she wasn't worth it. I tore her down with my silence, my accusations. My fucking pride. 

"God, I'm so stupid," I whisper, my voice breaking under the weight of everything I never said. 

Leah gives me a sympathetic glance. "Zoe needs you now, Alex. She needs you to be strong for her, to show her how much you care. This could be your chance to make things right."

I shake my head, my mind racing with all the things I should have done, all the things I should have said. I could have apologized to her. I could have been there for her. I could have fought for us. But I didn't. And now she's lying in that hospital bed, and I'm here, feeling like I've lost her forever.

"What if it's too late?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper, filled with dread. 

Leah doesn't have an answer. No one does. 

I want to scream, to punch something, to make all the pain go away. But I can't. Not yet. I have to wait. I have to hope. I have to believe that Zoe will wake up. That I'll get the chance to apologize, to hold her, to tell her everything I should have said.

My heart races as the door to the waiting room opens, the sound of footsteps echoing down the hall. It's the nurse. My breath catches in my throat as she walks toward us, her expression unreadable. 

"Is she…" My voice falters, unable to ask the question, terrified of the answer.

"She's stable for now," the nurse says, her voice soft but firm. "We'll keep monitoring her condition closely, but she's a fighter. You should prepare yourselves."

I nod, my heart still heavy, but a flicker of hope ignites within me. She's stable. She's alive. And I can still fight for her. 

I look at Leah, my voice barely a whisper. "I'm going to make this right. I'm going to make sure she knows how much I love her."

Leah gives me a small nod, her eyes filled with understanding and quiet support. 

With every fiber of my being, I know I'm not giving up. I'm going to fight for Zoe. For us. And no matter what it takes, I will make sure she knows the truth.