CHAPTER I

 [Now playing: Lowkey - NIKI]

I couldn't help but smile at the beauty of the view I see while driving, at the breeze touching my skin, and oh, the birds, their sweet symphony dances through the air, weaving a melody that resonates deep within my soul.

"First, we're going to Calle Crisologo, passing by Paoay Church, the Sinking Bell, Bantay Tower, and of course, on our second or maybe third day, we'll visit Cape Bojeador, and lastly, the Blue Lagoon!" I glanced at the side mirror and saw my best friend, Clyde Angela, excitedly explaining.

As of the moment, I am traveling with my best friends, including Clyde Angela T. Manansala, a BSBA Marketing Management student at NU. Almost the entirety of my remaining life here on Earth feels intertwined with her, as if my existence has been extended because we've been friends since childhood. Our mothers were not only best friends but also business partners, which ultimately led to us forming a close bond as well.

"Sounds fun, right, Han?" she asked, seriously, Clyde Angela?!

"Yes!" replied Hannah, her excitement seemingly about to tear her skin from lips to ears. She's Johannah Baltazar, a BSED English major. Among the three of us, the simplest concept to explain our friendship is that we're like Freud's theory of personality. I'm like the Id, where whatever or whenever I want something, I will make it happen. Clyde is like the Superego, kind and always ready to explain, like a mother with a broad understanding of her child. And Hannah is like Ego, the balancer. She doesn't take sides or choose when Clyde and I argue; she just balances and seeks the point of view of each of us. 

We were in Senior High School when she joined our circle while we were studying at a private school in Caloocan near Zabarte. At that time, we were still undecided about our lives, so we took Humanities and Social Sciences as our strand, but Hannah was the only one sure about her dreams since HUMSS was anchored in teaching. Since then, she has always talked about how passionate she is about kids and teaching.

And I'm Liliane Isobel Iglesias – AB Mass Communication. For me, I aspire to be recognized as a woman in film. I want to become a videographer and editor, and to produce a wide variety of genres in films, I aim to work for top companies in Korea mainly because it's a country that is now becoming a world-leading exporter and importer of entertainment and media. Beauty isn't the only thing that sets me apart; I value intelligence and talent. I can confidently say that I excel in theater arts too. Throughout my freshman and sophomore years, we successfully produced impactful theater productions like Clickbait, Tenses, and The Blank Adventure.

So yeah, it's just me… Liliane, the jack of all trades. 

Time flies so fast, and now we're already in our third year. It feels like just yesterday we were unsure about what we wanted in life, but now, if I reflect on us, I can say that our character development has been remarkable.

Going back, they both looked at me as if waiting for a response, but instead of answering, I just raised an eyebrow. 

"Okay, I'm sorry... We'll just postpone our Diplomat Hotel in Baguio trip for now, okay? I know we've been planning that for a long time, but I'm really sorry. My family needs me. Second, did I force you to come along? You all willingly agreed, didn't you? Tsk." Clyde.

After explaining, I suddenly let go of my annoyance and just tried to understand why we ended up where we did and why our original plans fell through. 

The reason why I am annoyed at this moment is that at the end of every semester, we always think about going to the places we've planned or agreed upon for bonding, like those places with Instag**-worthy views, perfect for my vlogs, not because I wanted "fame" but because of vlogging I was able to capture special moments in my life because I know one day as we grow older, we might forget some memories, but snapping pictures and shooting videos can be like leaving footprints of our lives, right?

It's like making a scrapbook of our journey, capturing all the twists and turns along the way. These snapshots become little time capsules, preserving moments that we can revisit whenever we want, reminding us of where we've been and how far we've come. 

I've been overhearing them talking for a while now, mostly in the place where Clyde was born, which is in Ilocos Norte specifically in Batac. I can't understand why Aunt Marie chose Angela to look after her great grandmother when they can afford to hire many maids to take care of her. Well, I've realized that Angela is so opposite to me, she is a very family-oriented despite her being a bit snobbish.

Even though I don't like those historical places, I forced myself to go along. Of course, I don't want to be left at home to hear whatever my dad might say about my life and my career and most importantly I am not ready to discuss the marriage and I don't want to face Neil, my future fiancé. It might sound weird that even though I'm just a third-year college student and I already have a future fiancé, it's like my life was planned out; well, that's because of an arranged marriage... I haven't met him. I just don't want to. 

Compared to their historical interests, I prefer more exciting things, like going to haunted places or extreme rides like at Enchanted Kingdom, or traveling abroad because, you know, I'm an influencer. What would I gain if we went to those historical places? Educate my viewers? Hello, there are history teachers out there for that. 

"Okay, I'll chill. Just make sure it's Instagr***-worthy, okay? As a part of my content, I need to finish my last commission before I can fully rest since I'm a brand ambassadress, remember?" I remarked. I was chosen as a brand ambassadress by a famous CEO of a makeup brand on TikT**. I wouldn't waste my time if it were just something simple, but this one is high-end, so I pushed for it. It's not just about followers; it's also an achievement and a baby steps to my dreams. 

"Even when we're supposed to be resting while traveling, you're still thinking about your followers? You know, in the olden days, our ancestors had more time for women to read, learn pian-" I didn't let her finish because we'd end up spending another hour on her lecture. She talks like a mom sometimes.

"Woah.. Woah, excuse me, Teacher Hannah Baltazar, first of all, I'm not your future student, and second, generations then and now are different, duh!" I retorted. It's true; people or specifically women they didn't have much to do besides house chores, whereas our generation now has so much freedom to do anything we want. 

"Hannah, my friend, out of all the people in the world, you're really going to lecture Lily? As if she knows anything about Philippine history, bwahahahaha!" I just pouted and crossed my arms. Well, Clyde was right. 

I'm a woman with both beauty and brains, but somehow, I just don't have an interest in history because all I've noticed is that in schools, they prioritize more on paper and pencil tests, and it's always about memorization of dates, timelines, important figures in history, etc. 

The problem with the curriculum that the Philippines has right now, despite being congested, is that it heavily focuses on drills and memorization. Secondly, when it comes to history, it's not seen as important as majors such as English, Math, and Science. 

History is boring, as they say.

"We're finally here at Calle Crisologo!" Clyde exclaimed. And finally, after 10 hours of driving, we finally made it. I just parked the car, and we all got out to explore the place. It's already afternoon, and thankfully, it's breezy and the sun isn't scorching anymore. 

"Yeeey! Let's go, let's go!!!" Hannah and Clyde said excitedly. 

I had no choice but to be dragged along with them. We started walking around the area; we were just taking pictures and didn't bother renting one of those kalesa (two-wheeled horse-drawn carriages) they mentioned since it's breezy anyway. There's nothing particularly special about this place, just colonial-era old houses, cobblestone, etc. But Clyde said it's beautiful at night because it's like Intramuros. It makes me miss Manila. 

And here's Hannah, clinging to me tightly, jumping with excitement. I feel like I want to kick her to the horses passing by. She keeps saying there are so many stories that can be formed just by using this place. I forgot to mention that she aspires to become an author. 

"A street full of history. Welcome to Calle Escolta de Vigan, as you can see, their structures are still beautiful because of their Old Spanish architecture. Typically, the houses here were owned by wealthy families of Filipino-Chinese traders back then..."

"I think... around 1890? They say when the Americans ruled, they named it Washington Street..." Angela explained as we walked.

Meanwhile, I just ignored her and kept walking; I was not interested. But even though I'm not focused, I can still hear her. Angela is really something else. Aside from being a singer and a songwriter... she's probably also a tourist guide, she just doesn't say it. Kidding.

We've come quite far, passing by numerous kalesas, Spanish-style houses, souvenir shops with interesting stuff like towels, keychains, and many more. We even passed by ice cream stalls. We also passed by Cafe Leona, and would you believe there's a Mang Inasal here! I suggested to them that we should eat there because I was starving. Imagine, we traveled for 10 hours from Quezon City to Ilocos, who wouldn't be hungry? I am so tired of cup noodles, junk food, sundaes, and spaghetti; I am practically sick of McDo*** huhu. But they refused because they said you wouldn't really feel like you've visited a place if you haven't tasted their delicacies, which makes sense.

"Ate (often used as a term of respect for an older woman), could I please have 200 pesos worth of empanada? I just want to let my two best friends taste how delicious it is," Angela requested. Ate happily took the money while looking at me, I felt like she just saw Gigi Hadid for the first time, kidding! 

"Oh my, dear! You should also let them try the Vigan longganisa! (smoke sausages)" the woman recommended. 

"Sure, ate, I'll have it cooked by grandma," Angela replied with a smile.

"Are you from here? And are they your visitors? What's your surname?" the woman asked in rapid succession. 

"T-Tordesillas, ate..." Angela said, and the elders looked at her.

"The wealthy family... Did yo–..." My attention shifted to what the woman was saying. I knew Angela's family was rich because of their business, but I never thought their name would be famous even here. Turns out, even her ancestors were wealthy. 

"Not really, hehe... thank you very much." We said goodbye to the old woman and the vendor. Why didn't she want to hear it? It's a shame; I would've listened to the gossip. Is there another reason? Or maybe I'm just assuming there's something else. 

We walked back to the car while enjoying the delicious empanadas. They said we'd stop by a souvenir shop so they could have some memory stuff to take home. 

"Lily, our storage is almost full of our selfies, but you still don't have even one... Come here, let me take a picture of you while the horse is still far away before it kicks you for being too fancy." I gave her a dirty look but just smiled.

"One..." 

"twoo..." 

"...smile!" 

After we took the picture, Hannah requested to buy souvenirs, and she asked Angela to accompany her to negotiate in Ilocano style to haggle for their purchases. Hannah may be rich because of their bar and real estate company, but she's incredibly stingy. 

Is this how it is when you're business-minded? 

I just told them to buy me anything that we can bring home or maybe even some paintings. 

While waiting outside the shop, I found myself drawn to an antique shop that seemed deserted. Out of curiosity, I entered to take a look around. I figured I might find something I liked here, maybe some vintage stuff for my two best friends, I know they have all the money to buy whatever they want. That's why I give them something unique because you know, it's the thought that matters, you know. HAHAHA! 

I noticed there was no one around, so I began browsing through the items. This place would be perfect for antique collectors, but I doubted many people were interested in these things anymore, or maybe just a few. Since most people, perhaps in our generation, lean towards minimalist home décor. There were plenty of vintage stamps, pedestals, brass lamps, incredibly old shoes, music boxes, coins, and what looked like ancient soldier uniforms. 

I couldn't help but smile when I saw the paintings tucked away in a corner. Oh my gosh, I love paintings! 

It was a bit sad seeing them piled up at the back of the antique shop, covered in dust as if they were neglected. I approached and examined each painting. Some were upside down, but others had signatures of artists. Some looked like they were just thrown aside. I noticed that my art style was similar to some of them as this painting is more reminiscent of Impressionism and Renaissance kind of style. Were these paintings made by different artists?

I picked up the two paintings, one depicting a landscape that resembled a beach or a lake, adorned with lush greenery. 

I grabbed them both because I could feel the temperature rising due to the lack of ventilation in the place. 

"Do you also enjoy painting?" Someone spoke behind me, but I didn't bother to turn around and just continued what I was doing. Judging by his tone, he sounded like an old man. I assumed he was the owner, but I didn't bother to ask permission. But who cares? I wasn't planning on stealing anyway.

"Yeah," I replied curtly. 

"Oh dear, it seems like your age is reflected in your response..." I ignored him, tsk. He shouldn't have bothered talking to me if he was just going to complain. 

"Do you also aspire for fame?" the old man asked. Does he mean being famous or what?

"Of course! I think everyone wants that, right?" I answered, trying to end the conversation. 

"Whose paintings do you admire? In the Philippines..."

"I don't know anyone," I answered briefly to cut the conversation short. 

"Oh... we also have many artists to be proud of here in the Philippines, like Luna, Amorsolo, Francisco, and many other creators who are not known by many." He's right. I know just like in other countries, there are many artists who aren't that well-known but have created magnificent masterpieces. 

While having this conversation for no reason it reminded me of my dad; he never once expressed pride in my paintings. He said I wouldn't get rich from it, but I never aimed to be rich because we're already wealthy. Isn't that enough? I just want to keep creating paintings. They have no idea how fulfilling life can be because of art. 

Art is how I voice my opinions, express my feelings and emotions, escape reality, and illuminate my darkest moments. I found art when I was trying to find myself. It has been a way to discover my inner potential and a bridge to communicate with the world. 

"Look at that piece at the end," he pointed, and I immediately stepped back, trying to avoid the paintings in the front; some of them were even upside down. I couldn't help but sneeze because of the dust. Geez, I'm not used to this much dust! Our house is always clean because it's regularly tidied up.

"MT♡MT? What's that about?" I asked. 

"That one is titled Paggunita sa diwa (Remembrance of the Soul) painted by General Miguel. In fact, everything here belongs to him, but this one was particularly beloved by many, although it may not have been favored by all, he knew his deceased wife adored it." How sweet. Where can I find an artist like that? I wish I could. 

Oh, to be loved by an artist. 

I inspected the back first before looking at the front since it was also facing the other way when I picked it up.

"WTF! THIS IS AMAZING! I'M BUYING THIS!" I couldn't contain my excitement; my eyes were practically feasting on the painting. It's so beautiful. I want to recreate it and add my own details; I bet this painting would be amazing to paint. I thought nothing good would happen on our trip to Ilocos, but believe it or not, something did. Maybe this is where I'll discover my own art style and develop more my talent in painting.

"HOW MUCH IS THIS AND--"

I couldn't finish what I was saying as I suddenly dropped the paintings I was holding. Wait, hold on.... 

I had someone with me earlier, right? 

I couldn't help but feel scared and panicked; I wanted to leave the shop, but I couldn't move. 

I started gasping for air, my chest tight and my breaths shallow. Panic gripped me as I struggled to fill my lungs. It felt like an invisible weight pressing down on my chest, suffocating me. Fear surged through me as I realized I couldn't breathe properly.

"Lily?" All I could hear was my friends calling out to me. 

"Yeah, it's Lily!" 

"Lily?! Hey, what's happening to you?!" 

At this moment, it seems like my understanding of what's happening around me is slipping away. It's like a journey into darkness, slowly drowning in the depths of ignorance. I can no longer grasp what's unfolding in my surroundings, leaving me in confusion and emptiness. With each passing moment, it feels like a fragment of myself is lost, and I am continuously wandering down the dark path of uncertainty.