Magic

Meanwhile, I had gained a certain routine and confidence in evaluating the positions of the planets. In contrast to commonly known astrology, we imagined the planetary constellations heliocentrically, with the sun and not the earth at the center of the system. This makes calculating the chart much easier. However, the interpretation is similar. I felt that the time had come for me to take the next big step in my understanding. The signs of my destiny were clear, and I asked the Master if he also believed I was ready to climb to the next level of initiation. It was up to me whether I dared to pass the next test. His assessment was positive. He told me to ask the Uncle to arrange for the test when I saw fit in my destiny. So I asked the Uncle to arrange for it. He informed me that it was a rule of the Brotherhood that dictated how I must prove myself. My task was to prevent an applicant from passing his test for admission into apprenticeship. If I passed this task, then he would serve me for a year and learn from me. Then I could call myself a Journeyman. After one year, it would be my decision whether my servant should be admitted into the Brotherhood or killed so that he could never testify against the Order. A cold shiver ran down my spine. Would this have happened to me if I had been too slow when cutting cucumbers back then? Yes, I could have indeed met death. But I shouldn't dwell on it. I would only have been killed if I truly no longer deserved to live among the living. And what would happen if I were weaker than my opponent? Then I would have to serve that man until he achieved mastery or explicitly released me, or until I defeated him in a rematch before three witnesses. Back then, when faced with an opponent who was beneath me, as when deciding to take on a new identity and solemnly parting ways with brothers in that old city, did not seem like such a difficult choice after all.

I would have been dismissed. The rules were clear, and it was better for me and my development if I didn't dare to fight a battle that I could lose. That was easier said than done because ultimately I had to be challenged without knowing in which discipline I should fight. A brother of a higher level must be superior to an adept of a lower rank in every respect. So I waited in the lodge until seven men were together and one applied for admission to the order.

A young man with intelligent eyes and a cheerful smile chose me as his opponent after I had insisted in a grueling discussion that fate should not decide who he should fight against. After convincing everyone on my side, I persuaded the young man to take me on. I used all my powers of persuasion and provocation to make him choose me. I couldn't wait any longer. I had to accelerate my development. I had realized that there was so much for me to learn that I basically didn't have time to stay at a level below mastery.

The man chose me as his opponent. Now I was very curious about what kind of battle he would determine for us. He surprised me greatly when he suggested a dice game. That wasn't my way of thinking. I would never offer something that I couldn't influence. My thoughts raced. What unfairness did my opponent have in mind? He couldn't possibly let chance decide who would win between us two. Or was he not aware of the significance of this competition? Was he playing unfairly, with loaded dice? Did he know a trick?

Or did he suspect that only chance would save him because otherwise I was superior to him in every way? Millions of thoughts rushed through my mind. It took all my strength to keep myself clear-headed. It was clear to me what this was all about here. I couldn't settle for a fifty percent chance. I had to quickly find a solution that would ensure my victory.

The rule of the game was that each of us should roll the dice once. If both rolled the same number on the first roll, they would continue rolling until one achieved a higher roll. I felt sick with excitement. I couldn't allow him to win and have my career in the brotherhood depend on his whim or advancement.

One of those present had already brought a dice and placed it on the table in front of us. Now something had to come to mind for me quickly; time was running out. He, as the challenger, should make the first roll; I had to prevent him from doing so or ensure that he rolled at most one six.

He threw. Then I would have been on the safe side. If he threw a two or higher, then I could lose. I couldn't risk my existence. He took the dice in his hand. I still couldn't think of anything. I was desperate, could have cried. It couldn't be that someone who knew nothing about the nature of the world could defeat me by giving chance a chance. I felt at the mercy of fate. This feeling of being seriously at the mercy, which was such a deep humiliation for me, completely dominated me. In my anger and despair, I shouted, "Stop! Not!" He paused and looked at me questioningly. Now I had gained the upper hand. If he had thrown, he would have been stronger than me. But he was fair. He listened to me. He did what his opponent dictated to him. I knew this man did not deserve to win the fight.

Suddenly I was calm and confident again. My security returned to me. I told him to put down the dice.

He put down the dice and there was a four on top. Suddenly it came: the saving inspiration. I looked at the dice and said it was a good throw, but not good enough; took the dice and placed it so that the six was facing up. I looked triumphantly around and let my softest and mildest voice sound: "I have won." With such confidence and certainty that everyone around automatically nodded.

I couldn't help but feel that they were only nodding their heads because I did too.

Even the protest of the defeated one was so weakly brought forth amidst stammering that no one really listened to what this person still had to say.

He had nothing to say because he himself was surprised by how things turned out.

It just happened too quickly.

Later, I thought about this dice game several more times.

What would have happened if he had thrown? I believe that with all my might, I would have intervened and prevented the throw under all circumstances.

I would not have hesitated to accept this man's death without blinking an eye.

So he was lucky and should be allowed to live for several more months until he had fully demonstrated his stupidity and incompetence, and we had to liquidate him for security reasons. A person who wanted to base his intellectual development on chance, who had a gambler's nature inside him, was far too opaque and unreliable for important tasks to be entrusted to him. We could not risk being exposed by a fragile person. Our sacred mission was too important for that.

He later served me quite clumsily for several months until eventually I had to make the decision to eliminate him. He met his death during a mountain hike, a tragic accident that everyone deeply regretted.

The game was valid, and I had qualified to hold the rank of journeyman. The meditations on this test brought me much further. It suited me and my situation at the time exactly to be put to the test with a fateful decision. However, I was able to take fate, or rather chance, into my own hands. If I had succeeded in doing so on a small scale, then it should also be possible on a larger scale. And even if the uncle and the master and a million other wise men claimed a thousand times that we are subject to fate...

In a group of six companions, we met with the uncle who held a very high position in the brotherhood. At that time, he was one of the few masters that I knew. I also did not yet know about the large number of members in our brotherhood and the friendly brothers. Today, we were supposed to learn the second technique necessary to be able to read the Book of Fate. The uncle gave another solemn speech, admonishing us to secrecy and congratulating us on passing our tests. We were on our way to achieving mastery. However, we needed to prepare particularly thoroughly for the next test. Up until now, we had been able to achieve everything with physical strength or through thinking and common sense, paired with a little intelligence. But now we needed to enter more subtle levels. From now on, we had to learn how to deal with magical powers. The lesson we had before us today was to recognize these magical powers. In a second step, we should then learn how to use them.

"Your problem is that you are lazy and know too much. You think you see the world. But all you see is a memory of something you perceived before. None of you knows what I look like at this moment because your thoughts are so sluggish that you only dredge up a memory of how you perceived me before. You project this memory into your field of vision and now believe you see how I am now.

You look at me like sheep who understand nothing. Believe me, it is as I say it is. You are foolish and understand nothing. To understand something, one must first perceive it. You can all see but hardly use your eyes. You are simply too lazy to look properly. It is more convenient for you to live only from memory.

That ends today.

You will learn how to look properly - to see things as they really are.

This is one of the toughest lessons a person can learn.

You will see beautiful things.

You will see hell on earth."

and all devils. You will learn to be fearless and you will realize how far everything you see is from you. None of what you see really concerns you. What concerns you are exclusively the things you feel. But feeling is something you will only learn once you have proven that you are a master. A master of magic. Today, I want to give you a magical eye. An eye with which you can see the essence of things. You have possessed this eye since birth. But because you are lazy and foolish, you do not use it. You are so busy and distracted by everything happening around you that you no longer have the leisure to observe the people who cross your path. It is the same with the things surrounding you. You simply do not see them. You are entangled in your thoughts and confused feelings.

If it were not for the fact that proving self-awareness is worth great risks and a high price to you, I would say that you are the scum of the world. Lower than any animal. For life has endowed you with all the treasures of creation, yet so far, you have been too lazy to search in the treasure trove.

You would have discovered fantastic things within yourselves if only dared to deviate from the path your parents and educators have set for you. How much precious time of your life have you wasted on senseless activities instead of seeking out the secrets of life? Yet, this is what your one sacred purpose in life is for, O wretched ones.

Change your life now. Seek to discover the secrets of life. You do not have much time left. Remember that death awaits all of us eventually. You are not yet at a point where foreseeing your own death is possible.

You can only recognize which moments make death very likely at this point in time, nothing more than that.

From today onwards, learn to see freely.

It's a very simple technique - just look at a person or an object without thinking about anything else or trying to concentrate too hard - just look and do nothing else.

Do not turn away your gaze; keep looking until changes start becoming apparent.

Do not scan or probe with your eyes; simply look calmly.

When doing this with a person, faces may appear that frighten or unsettle you - there's no need to fear as nothing can harm when using this method.

Keep looking until past and future aspects of this person become clear to you; everything about them will be revealed to you - but remember: while looking, remember that they can also see into yourself as well.

However, most people...

Do not look away. They are content with their memory because the thought that a person has no fixed form is unbearable to them. You should look. We will practice this now very simply. Everyone looks at their neighbor. You do this until I tell you it's enough." I was quite skeptical about what the uncle had claimed here. I saw things as they were. How could I only see my memory when I experienced new things every day? I turned to my neighbor and looked into his eyes. As the uncle had said, I remained relaxed and calmly looked into the face of the other fellow. Nothing happened for a while. Then I noticed a slight change in the color of the man's facial skin. It became bluish, darker than before. My heart beat faster. It was exciting. Suddenly, the face changed. It became very dark and I saw that my counterpart had a beard. No, his whole face was hairy. His skin was black. In front of me sat an ape looking at me. A violent shock ran through my body. I turned my head to the side, looked around for help, and risked another glance. I saw the face of a human being. He looked like someone I had always known.

The uncle interrupted the exercise. He came to me, put his hand on my shoulder to calm me down. In that moment when I saw the ape on the chair next to me, my worldview collapsed. Now I had no security or measure at all anymore. Not even what I saw could be believed anymore.

Nothing was real anymore.There was no fixed point in my life.The shock was deep - so deep that I was grateful for the uncle's attention.He must have noticed what was going on in me.He talked reassuringly to me for a long time.

He explained to us again that we should not be afraid no matter what we saw.We would not always have these visions.If we did not practice the technique of free viewing, we would see the world as we were used to.That should reassure us.If we knew that the visions only occurred in a controlled manner when we consciously applied the technique, it should make us more relaxed.We should pretend as if we were in a movie theater watching an experimental film.

The shock seemed to have hit me hardest.I did not know what others had seen.We were not allowed to exchange our experiences and experiences.In any case, they were much calmer than me.It took me several minutes to lower my pulse back to its usual rate.The uncle ordered a new exercise.It took some effort for me to look into my neighbor's eyes again.I took a deep breath and looked somewhat relaxed into one pupil of my counterpart.Just like before, his facial skin darkened.But this time, I saw a woman, a woman with long blonde hair.

She was beautiful and I knew that woman.

I had loved her. Did I look into the past or future incarnations of this person? What did he see in me? The woman's face changed. It became bright, very bright, and a new face appeared. Then I saw the face of the journeyman I knew again. The monkey reappeared. A whole series of different faces appeared. Then I saw different light phenomena and animals. This vision was pleasant. I had a very intense feeling. A highly condensed atmosphere arose. This time I could have looked for hours. But the uncle ended the session. We should go home and practice the technique of free seeing. Over time, we would develop an understanding of what we saw.

I gained a new understanding of the world that surrounded me. I saw things and people in my environment as I was used to. However, when I applied the method of seeing, I had exciting visions. I looked at plants, animals, people, and inanimate objects. Today, I no longer believe that there are such things as inanimate objects. There is a kind of power or energy in everything. I could see it. There were gradations and differences in this power. But the awareness unfolded in me that there was energy in everything. Even in so-called dead things, I could see this power. People, animals, and plants were surrounded by an aura. The great artists of past centuries must have seen this when they depicted saints with a halo on their religious representations. It was very exciting to observe these light phenomena.

After some time of practice, it became easier for me to bring about these experiences of light more easily, quickly, and naturally. I often had to control myself not to stand out because I stared at my fellow human beings. Gradually, I developed a routine to first discreetly observe the aura of each person during every encounter. And since I made this practice a habit, I could soon assign the different color experiences to the respective situations.

I found that just like in the conventional world, there were laws to be observed in the world of aura as well. By looking at the color halo surrounding a person, I could see what mood they were currently in. I could discover illnesses. What impressed me most deeply was the fact that I always knew exactly at what spiritual level the object of my observation was at. There were differences in intensity levels. Different states caused changes in the luminosity and brilliance of colors.

When I walked through the city...

I was able to easily distinguish simple minds from people with high intelligence and strong will. During my study of auras, I discovered that all personal weaknesses and shortcomings were expressed in certain variations of the color halos, just as special strengths were. Just as a doctor could draw conclusions about certain illnesses from the condition of the skin and nails, through intensive and precise observation, it became possible for me to draw conclusions about a person's state by taking a deep look into their soul. After a few months, I felt vastly superior to all my fellow human beings. It was difficult to remain humble, as our uncle had advised us. I knew that I saw through others. No one could deceive me anymore. No one could hide their shortcomings from me. I would have been the ideal HR manager. With just one glance, I could see through the applicant.

However, my only task was to prepare for my next exam. I had to learn to see through others more than they saw through me. If I had known earlier that our uncle and the others mastered this technique, then I would never have dared to try to deceive them in any way. They knew what was going on with me all along anyway. They probably used this knowledge to discover my hidden homosexual tendencies and use them to manipulate me completely into their hands. They could see how I would react later on beforehand simply because they looked deep into my inner self. Just like so-called normal people notice a stain on their colleague's clothing, these extraordinary people could see hidden desires, tendencies, and carefully concealed abnormalities in me.

I didn't just observe humans, even though they displayed the greatest variety in appearances. Humans had a very colorful and dynamic aura. Stones, on the other hand, emitted a uniform light that was not subject to color changes. With animals and plants, I found such irregularities but in a much milder form.

I loved looking at trees; they were the most sympathetic beings to me. Especially at night, I enjoyed looking at trees; I spent whole nights sitting in the forest watching them. It seemed to me that trees unfolded their greatest life activity at night (if one can speak of activity in relation to trees). In any case, trees appeared more alive to me at night than during the day.

I loved trees because I believed they were the beings most well-disposed towards me peacefully; when I saw them and felt that they also noticed me, I wanted nothing bad for them - they must have sensed this.

I felt that trees loved me because I recognized them as living creatures and treated them positively."

Now it was doubly clear to me why we shouldn't talk to anyone about our experiences. I would have been a sure candidate for the psychiatric hospital.

I made very rapid progress in my newly acquired ability. And the more clearly I could see, the more aware I became of my own transparency. What could others possibly see in me? Why hadn't I realized this much earlier?! I could see myself when I looked in the mirror. So I sat in front of the mirror and looked at myself. Indeed, this technique also worked with my own reflection. I saw myself. My face transformed and I saw a long row of faces in different color shades. It felt as if I was being sucked deep into my body. I gained a distance from the world around me, as if my eyes were hundreds of meters away from me, looking through these eyes. During my gaze, blurred memories surfaced within me. I knew the people I saw in the mirror. I had a special connection to them. With these faces came stories that I had experienced long ago. I must have stared fascinated into the mirror for hours on end. It dawned on me that it was me who I saw there. I just couldn't quite explain my experiences to myself. One face was the most familiar to me. It kept appearing and crystallized as the clearest and strongest vision out of all. As I looked at this face, memories of experiences in another country at another time came flooding back to me. Memories of another life emerged.

The next day, I sat in front of the mirror again and stared until the vision from the previous day began to hallucinate again.

This time, the memory became clearer. Every day, more details came back to me.

I had deliberately chosen this one face to remember a past existence.

I doubted whether what I thought were memories were just unchecked products of my imagination, strongly stimulated by recent experiences.

Despite these doubts, I continued to delve into this past life.

I firmly believed that I had existed in multiple forms before.

But this one was my favorite past life.

I stared into the mirror for weeks on end and hardly left the house anymore.

One night, I had an intense dream where many details came back to me and gained an overview of this life.

It must have taken place thousands of years ago in a desert area.

It felt to me as if my current life was a continuation of my past existence. However, these two lives were completely separate. I could not bring anything from my old life into my new existence. Only my level of development in this life was determined by what I had learned in the previous life. It was almost as if the actors of the two existences were different people, different souls, mysteriously linked to each other.

For this reason, today I would deny the question of reincarnation. The person I am today is not the person who lived thousands of years ago in a desert environment. Even if the fate of the person I am is intertwined with what that person did back then. We belong together, but we are two different beings. Perhaps I am mistaken, but I do not believe in reincarnation in the common sense. If there is a rebirth in a body, then the two existences are so clearly separated that it would be exaggerated to say that I continued to live in another body.

Perhaps I think this way because it may be easier for me if I can escape responsibility for my evil deeds through the loss of my existence. If the soul is immortal, which would be the most likely scenario, then I must prepare myself for some things. Or maybe I have a chance with a forgiving God.

Since thoughts about reincarnation and the immortality of the soul, the individual soul, are pure speculation for my understanding, I prefer to focus on what appears to me as tangible and real in my current world. However, this also includes the magical and mystical experiences that I was able to have during my apprenticeship in the secret brotherhood.

The next leap in my growth of knowledge was the connection of the first two techniques. I saw things, perceived the energy of my surroundings, and understood myself and the people I encountered. At the same time, I looked at the horoscope and discovered that by using both methods simultaneously, I gained a more comprehensive picture of my fellow human beings. I felt like an all-knowing god, and no one even suspected the slightest bit of my hidden abilities. I knew everything about people who knew nothing about me. I had the ability to see everything and hide everything. If our uncle had not repeatedly urged us to remain humble, I would have felt a deep contempt.

Developed for the ignorant, I remained inconspicuous and did not hint at my abilities. Only with the brothers of the lodge did I feel that they saw through me. Despite this, I believed I still knew more about myself than they did, having focused on self-improvement.

We met with respect and behaved openly, unable to pretend or hide anything. We could see each other's feelings and thoughts clearly, creating a close-knit community with shared interests in self-perfection. After passing serious tests, we all committed to loyalty and reliability within the lodge.

We connected on many levels, enjoying each other's company and celebrating together. I also experimented with influencing the brothers, determining the success of my attempts and considering if they were doing the same to me.

I questioned the possibility of altering auras and deceiving those who could see them. Amidst my confusion, I grappled with the uncertainty of who among us was genuine and who could manipulate their aura. I had to learn how to present myself on an aura level and distinguish reality from deception.

The mirror should be my teacher in the coming weeks. I spent almost the whole day and then half the night looking at my face in the mirror. I wanted to observe exactly with what thoughts I could influence my aura. I tried to control my emotions. I practiced summoning specific visions. I changed my mood at will and thus the appearance of my aura. I learned to change the color of my aura, like an actor changing the expression on his face. I learned to mime, but on a deeper level.

In doing so, I discovered some tools that made it much easier for me to change my essence for the moment. Certain sounds characterized certain moods or qualities. When I hummed these sounds or repeated certain words, my mood changed in a specific way. If I repeated a sound often and long enough, just remembering it later was enough to change my mood. For example, by humming the sound "Uuuuh" and later by thinking of this sound, I could produce a feeling of warmth. I tried out the entire range of sounds.

After that, I tested combinations of sounds, recited poems, and observed their effects on me. A very special effect was when I quoted certain Bible verses. Reciting Psalms surprised me with the unexpected effects and changes they brought about. Repeatedly praying the rosary had an incredible effect. I began to understand where religion drew its power from. I understood that the rituals of praying, of reciting predetermined formulas, were able to profoundly change people and their emotions. Praying one hundred Our Fathers allowed me to see how mentally matured and gained strength.

Through much practice and experimentation, soon I was able to fully control my moods and aura. I could generate all feelings instantly and turn them off just as quickly. In one second, I was meek; in the next angry; then weak and fearful; and in the next moment, full of strength and courage.

I had become master over my emotional life. Furthermore, I could also control the size of my aura. On one hand, almost make it disappear completely; on the other hand expand it so far that it filled the entire room with light.

I went back among people to see how ordinary folk reacted to my different mood states. In doing so, I had to realize that apparently only I could perceive what was going on around me. Most people probably didn't even know how they themselves were feeling yet. I was shocked by such a realization.

The shock passed as I began to think again with a clear mind and had to admit that a few months ago, I was in no other state of mind than these people. But how many of them would ever have the opportunity in their lives to go through such maturation processes as I was currently experiencing. I thought of my brother, whose fate should never lead him to such a point. His character, which was obviously revealed by his horoscope, did not allow him to ever come into contact with these powerful insights. Most people would be no different. I had the disposition. I had the affinity. And fate ensured contact with the right people who guided and sometimes even tempted me to follow my destiny.

I thought my experiences were extraordinary and the greatest thing ever. Where had I experienced such unusual things before? Where had I come so close to myself? Nowhere had I ever had such intense experiences. Before encountering the brotherhood, I was just one among many, a person of the masses. Sentenced to live my life in the rut of my ancestors. To remain dull and uneducated. Yet thinking that I knew about the things of the world just because I could see other people who were even more dull and ignorant. It was not clear to me at that time that I was still stuck in the same state, just at a higher level. Back then, I had no concept of quality. I did not realize what it meant to give life a new quality. In essence, I was doing exactly the same as before. No, that's not right. Let me put it differently: I was doing different things, but in the same way as before. I hadn't changed my personal style of approaching things. Or to put it another way, I had changed the facade, the details of my life. I was doing different things, but I was still the same; I was still me. Although I had changed my name and the circumstances of my life, I was still me. Not like a big break like in death, where you leave everything behind.

I had not yet accomplished that. I was too attached to my small, foolish quirks and vanities. It took a very, very harsh lesson before I was somewhat ready to let go of my old self. By that, I mean truly my essence and not just the appearances of my essence. How could I distinguish that back then, when I still lacked the discernment that comes from self-awareness?

What is my essence? What in me is the unchangeable part, and what is changeable? What is true knowledge, and what is false identification? Who am I really?.