Fishy My Love

I'm here again. How long has it been since the last time? Eh for me it was probably just a year but here? Maybe a decade or two. No, probably even more than that. Time isn't what I'm supposed to be wondering right now, I need to remember, enter - do my job - leave. 

I stood up from the bed of this unfamiliar room decorated in the colors of red and blue. After taking a couple steps on this creaky floor that was barely even walkable due to the mess of multiple unidentifiable items on it, I noticed a mirror on the desktop next to me in this narrow room someone would call their bedroom. Was that me on the reflection? Is it just me or do I look a bit different. No this isn't me. 

In the reflection stood a lanky blonde boy whose hair was thick and wavy, varying in length, being cut in a kind of a messy or random way. With bangs almost so long that they would cover his eyes and hair next to his face being the length of his torso but the hair on the backside of his head being only to his neck with one part being as long as his side bangs or whatever you would call those. He had bright green eyes and pale skin with two red horns on his head but one being broken. He felt familiar.

GOSH why can't I concentrate, no getting distracted anymore, you don't have much time. That's when I felt another familiar presence in the room with me. But that can't be. There's no one here. And wonderful, I'm not conscious anymore. 

As my consciousness hit back in, I felt hazy. Where am I now? In the middle of nowhere apparently. I was sat on an uncomfortable chair with my hands being tied together behind me with an even more uncomfortable rope that was put tightly so that it would very obviously leave scars by how hard it was scratching my skin with its pointy strings. Then the familiar presence appeared once again behind me.

"Look who decided to show up", a male with his deep and spooky voice said, gripping my shoulders and leaning in to talk straight into my ear. 

"Who are you and how?" I said my voice becoming a bit shaken from the unexpected turn of events

"Oh? You don't remember me? How hurtful. I thought you would at least remember your one and only love", The male said in a sarcastic tone. "That sounds weird now that you are Lucas and not yourself."

Lucas! That was it. How could I forget him?! Our one and only son. Oh how I remember the good old days when we had fun creating him. 

"Oh yeah I killed you, I almost forgot about that", He continued.

"Wait wait wait, Is that you H?" I asked hoping for a positive answer. 

"I thought you were gone but now you are here and I feel you're angry at me for some reason I haven't catched onto".

"Oh just why am I angry at you I wonder, perhaps you already have the answers", He hinted towards something that immediately came to my head.

"Oh… OH um please don't do anything too horrible, you know I tried my best" 

I begged

"Then you didn't try hard enough, if I managed to do what I was supposed to do then why couldn't you?!" He practically lashed out at me. "You know when I get the chance, I will make sure you won't see the light of day again and you can trust me in that".

"Well you won't get a next time, I won't let you do that again"

"Good thing you already did".

Lucas

I woke up like always but this time feeling more empty than usual. My bed only having me in it and nobody calling for me to wake up. Did I anger Fishy? I didn't mean to but then again, why would he ghost me like this if not. We haven't made any contact after what happened yesterday on that mountain. What if something happened to him? Or if A had done something to him. He did reassure me that nothing like that would happen but how can I trust those words coming from someone as clueless as him. 

I got up from my bed with the support of my hands. There was a sudden pain in both of my wrists. I looked to inspect the feeling. Aside from the dozen of old scars there were new ones imprinted on my wrist like something had been very tightly against them. I wonder where those came from. Maybe my feelings will decide to clear up after a nice walk. You know since I heard that helps.

When leaving, there was nobody to greet me and tell me good mornings, nobody even came my way, it was as if I was all alone in this world again, like everyone else had completely disappeared. I didn't even notice how much time had passed or how long I had walked. All I knew was that I had appeared in front of a cave entrance that stood on the same opening I had been killed once. That being only a couple days ago. Maybe that scene will recreate itself but this time I won't wake up again. Or if I do then I wake up in a world where nothing ever went wrong and my whole life went how it was supposed to.

I noticed myself entering the cave. I wonder what's inside it, maybe it could collapse and I would get crushed under it. Inside was dark and the tunnels weren't too big making it a bit difficult to walk but still manageable. I came to a turn with two ways. Before I could decide which way to go I heard a voice coming from the opening of the cave, coming inside where I was. The only thought that came to my mind was to hide. Whoever they were, they couldn't know of my presence. I doubt I was even allowed here.

I quickly ran the way on the left finding a conveniently placed rock to hide behind. Quickly noticing that my hiding place was a good choice since the others went to the right. Something inside my brain convinced me to follow them. 

I followed them into a bigger area filled with gigantic crystals of all kinds. Some glowing, some not. Some were a certain color, some were another. There was big crystals, small crystals, sharp ones, blunt ones, complex ones and simple ones. It was like the home of crystals. I wonder if they were the same kind that we people have. Could someone have a crystal this big? 

My thoughts were interrupted with the sound of someone coming back my way. I hid behind one of the crystals and waited. As the sounds of footsteps came closer they finally passed me. They looked familiar. Fiery red hair and dragon-like features. After they had completely disappeared from my sight, I came out from my hiding spot only to accidentally bump into another fellow probably of the same group as the latter. 

I could hear the clatter of bones after feeling something bump into me. My eyes widened as I slowly turned to look at the destination of this sound. 

"Hello friend! Mind lending me a hand?" a high pitched voice came down from the floor where the pile of bones laid. No, a pile of a disassembled skeleton who's now separate, from the rest of its parts, hand was reaching my way implied for me to grab it.

With a bit of doubt I reached downwards and took the skeleton's hand. Some glowing green smoke appears from its bones and it fixes itself now being complete. It shakes my hand and leaves the same way as the other guy.

"Thank you pal! See you next time", it waves me goodbye.

A bit shaken up from that occurrence, I finally managed to continue investigating the cave and head further in. This opening with the gigantic crystals wasn't too big for it only took a minute or two to reach its end. But the cave didn't end there, a small passage continued further. There was a hint of light at the end of it where it turned to the left. What was so fascinating about this cave that something in my head insisted for me to search further. I didn't know. 

I peeked over the rocky wall to see what the turn led to, only to find a small room-like place with a table and some lit candles. Beside the table sat a small brunet woman with a colourful hat that's base colour was this light blue. The woman was apparently drinking tea of some sort. She noticed me as her eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh it's you!" she exclaimed as if she knew me from somewhere. "Come take a seat, I also made some for you", She continued. With that I noticed the second cup on the table sitting on the opposite side of her.

"I uhh, do I know you?" I stuttered, approaching the table a little and taking in her appearance even more. She wore a tight black sleeveless turtleneck shirt with big golden rings on her shoulders and wrists. Her brunette hair was about medium length being put in two braids that extended only a bit beneath her shoulders. 

"Oh right you don't know me, sorry for my impoliteness, my name is Alice also known as Timey", she introduced herself.

"And how do you know me?" 

"Let's just say that I've been told to keep an eye on you, not in the stalking kind of way but to make sure nothing goes wrong",

"Isn't that still considered stalking though?" 

We continued talking and I finally managed to warm myself into sitting on a rock placed conveniently beside the table. I doubt she's a bad person but the way she kept ignoring my questions about who she was and what this place was made her kinda suspicious. Even if she was bad then in what way? Who would she be working for if anyone? Or what would her motive be? We mostly talked about me since 'I was the important one here' but one question of hers striked me harder than the others.

"So how have things with Fishy gone?" Alice asked me with a curious look. So she also knows about Fishy.

"Fishy? Ah well I don't know, I think he's angry at me", I responded honestly.

"How so? He doesn't seem like a person who would get mad at someone easily".

"I said some pretty harsh things to him yesterday and well I didn't want to lie to him so I had to just be honest with him".

"What was it about?"

I then proceeded to tell her about the events of last night and how as much as I would have also wanted to, I couldn't share the feelings with Fishy. How I betrayed him, I showed him a false hope of reality. That he and I could live happily ever after, only for me to crush that dream.

"Are you sure that this is the only way for you to live? I know that there's some way for you two to live happily, even if that way isn't easy, I know that together you can achieve anything", Alice reassured me.

"I'm not so sure, I mean if there was a possibility then I'm sure it would have shown itself earlier already", I tried making excuses knowing that she was probably going to talk those through as well.

"At least talk to him about it. You can't be completely sure that he's mad at you or even disappointed in the first place", 

I stayed quiet. Even if I could talk to him about it, how could I pull myself to say such things. I'm not good with words, let alone feelings. A couple seconds passed until Alice continued.

"Oh it seems that my time here is coming to an end, you should go home. It's not safe staying out here for too long", Alice said, as if there was some other reason for her words. She seemed kinda shaken up like she had just realized something. 

"Alright, I will", I sighed a response getting up from the rock I had been sitting on. "Farewell Alice", I waved goodbye, she waved back in a hurried manner with a fairly obviously forced smile. 

It had already gone dark outside. Why do these days feel so short? Good thing I had memorised the way home, otherwise I would have gotten lost. I probably should have thought of my words towards Fishy on the way home but it's too late now as my hand was already on the door knob. 

As I closed the door behind me, I could hear rapid footsteps coming towards me. It didn't take me long to realise who this was for I could hear my own name come out of their mouth and their warm hands take me in an embrace. 

"Lucas! You had me worried sick, I thought you were dead on some random side of a road", Fishy exclaimed his worry towards me as his head lied on my shoulder and hands tightly around my waist.

"Huh? Wait wait wait what?" I was confused by such reactions. I thought I was gonna have to be the one bawling my eyes out to him, not the other way around. 

"I thought you got sad at me for advancing in our relationship too quickly and then you were purposely avoiding me and went to do something stupid", his voice was broken and I could basically hear his tears.

"And here I was thinking you were mad at me", I said thinking about how wrong I had been. "I guess we both suck at communicating". 

"How could I be mad at you for having completely valid feelings", he scolded me for my dumb thoughts. 

We kinda just stood there being the awkward losers we are and cried in eachothers arms. Even with the amount of reassurances Fishy gave me, I still felt guilty. I have barely done anything but he still loves me this dearly for some odd reason. 

"Ever since I met you, I have learned how much it feels like to be alive. How it's like to live and be happy. Without you my understanding of anything would be completely different. You showed me what it's like to be human", Fishy confessed to me. That may have been the sweetest thing anyone had ever told me. Maybe I just have to give him a chance. 

Maybe a couple hours later, I had again managed to lose myself from Fishy. Or he had lost me. I hadn't gone far, only into our backyard, if you can still count it as that. Our house sat on a cliff at the side of a larger mountain. The one that's basically the personality of our island. With our home's place, there were really nice places to just go and sit while watching the view, really close. 

I had found myself a nice place to sit and reflect my thoughts. I could say that I love nature more than humans but that wouldn't be completely true. Nature is a living thing and with living things comes distractions and such. It's like there's never a moment of complete silence and calmness. A moment where it's just my consciousness. Why aren't empty voids a thing that you could just go to and float for the rest of eternity.

I probably hadn't noticed how late it had gone with it being almost pitch black outside aside from the starry night sky and greenish fog devouring the horizon. Fishy had found me once again like he always does. 

"Lucas! You can't just keep disappearing without telling me about it!" Fishy yelled at me for being so careless. 

"Oh I'm sorry for not saying anything to you", I answered, sounding like I hadn't meant a single thing. 

Fishy scoffed and brushed it off as he snuggled next to me now also sitting on the ground. It makes me feel weird everytime he gives me physical touch like this. Maybe even a bit sick.

"This weather reminds me of you", Fishy said, breaking our actually pretty comfortable silence. 

"Huh?" I snapped back from how I was zoned out. 

"Well I guess I can try to explain", he looked a bit puzzled, "the fog reminds me of how it may be hard to see through this barrier you are giving yourself to distance from others but the stars creeping through it being the beauties that lie in you", Fishy explained.

"How poetic", I noted. 

We hung out just a bit longer after that until it had become so late that probably both of our sleep schedules were completely messed up now. 

If only he knew that he was actually the star in my story.