Ch. 164

The only person who'd remained with them, to their great surprise, had been Neville. The day he'd had an argument with his parents about Bella was the day they had given him a choice: leave with them, or stay and be disowned.

He'd chosen to stay. Harry knew the decision had hurt Neville tremendously, and had more than once tried to convince his friend to go and return to his parents. Neville just shook his head every time Harry brought it up, and told him that he'd been more of a family to him than his parents in the last few years. Neville was determined that what had happened to Harry before, when he was deserted by everyone he knew, never happened again. Harry took a guilty pleasure from knowing that Neville had chosen to side with him over his parents, though he took great care to never let it show. Even to this day, Neville's parents refused to talk to him.

"I suppose so," Dumbledore agreed. "But I have been the catalyst for it. Had I voiced my concerns, or believed in you, then you would not have been condemned so quickly, by so many."

"Yeah." Harry sighed. "You know what? You're right. I got screwed over big time. By you, by my supposed friends, by the wizarding world in general. That's why I wasn't a part of it for the last few years."

"And now?" Dumbledore asked, curious.

"Now… let's just say we're preparing to vanish completely."

"What about your daughter?"

"My daughter is exactly the reason we're going away for good," Harry replied. "Do you have any idea what she'd go through if the wizarding world found out? If I had it bad, she'll have it a hundred times worse - 'daughter of dark lord Potter,' 'second Bellatrix Lestrange,' 'dark mistress in the making.' Frankly, I got tired of that crap years ago."

Dumbledore nodded. "I can understand that." He turned around to look out the window again. "Harry… you are a great man. No matter what the rest of the world says. I know I probably don't have any right to tell you anymore, but your parents would be proud. I'm certain of that."

"You know what's funny?" Harry snorted as he stepped forward to stand next to the old headmaster. "I'm not as great as you think. In fact, Neville is by far the better man than I am."

"How so?" Dumbledore arched a curious eyebrow.

"You taught me to care only for those closest to me. The wizarding world taught me to beware of betrayal. Sirius taught me how to care, Bella how to love. Voldemort taught me how to hate. But only Neville taught me how to forgive ."

Before Dumbledore could ask, Harry explained. As he talked, the old headmaster could see Harry's posture relax, his hands comfortably clasped behind his back as he stared out to sea. "A few days after Voldemort died, Neville had a long talk with Bella. And you know what? He forgave her. She took away his parents, tortured countless people, committed horrible crimes. I never held it against her, but then again, I love her. Heh. Love blinds, they say. Neville… he had every reason to hate her, but he didn't. And you know why? Because, he said, it's in the past, and we can't change it." Most of the time, Harry amended silently. The instance they used a time-turner to save Sirius and Buckbeak came to mind.

"What's more," Harry continued, "he said that she isn't who she was back then. The insane Bella, the one who served Voldemort… that was someone he could hate. Not the Bella who risked everything to be my informant, and risked her life in helping us in the war against Voldemort. And mostly… because I was happy with her. Do you have any idea what that meant to me?" Harry turned to look at Dumbledore, and the ancient wizard saw the unshed tears in his eyes. "For the first god-damn time in my life, with the exception of Sirius and Bella, someone actually was willing to give up something for me. He cares more about me as a friend than he does a grudge against Bella. And you know what? When his parents woke up, and they found out, they were ready to disown him and throw their lot with the 'Harry Potter has gone dark!' crowd. He told them off. He told them to let things rest in the past. They wouldn't hear any of it and left… and Neville's been staying with us ever since."

Dumbledore could only stare back in shock. This was all news to him. While he had heard that Neville had remained with Harry, he had never suspected something like this to be the reason. "I-I don't know what to say," he admitted.

"And you know what? Neville forgave his parents, too. What did he say again? 'Life's too short to be wasting it on grudges and hatred.' That kid's had it almost as bad as I have, and he's… he forgives everyone, and he's happy because of it. He's happy because he doesn't carry around the burden of hate. And he's right. I've hated the wizarding world long enough. I… wasn't in a good place for a long time. I was bitter, I hated all of you, hated the wizarding world for what they did to me, for condemning the one person who'd ever bothered to be there for me. They made a mistake, but there's nothing that can be done about it now. It's in the past - history, just like Voldemort. Just like what Bella did. I understand that forgiveness won't be given anytime soon… if ever, but holding grudges and hating people over it? It seems… so pointless now. Am I still angry at you all for what you did? Not really. Bitter? Perhaps a bit. But I no longer hate you. I… I came to tell you that, before I left for good. I didn't want to leave with you thinking that I hated you, because, for better or for worse, you were one of the few people in my life who bothered to care."

"Harry…" Dumbledore sighed heavily, turning his head to look out to sea, as well. "Won't you reconsider? If you remained with the wizarding world-"

"No, Professor," Harry said, using the respectful title for the first time in years. "I can't stay. For my daughter's sake. I don't want her growing up in the circus that was my life."

"You could have made such a difference, you know," Dumbledore said. "The people who know you, who've followed you, would be quick to attest to that. You were the only one of us throughout all of this to remain true to your ideals. Your… your courage, your determination, your will to never give up. The way you stood up, against impossible odds, because it was the right thing to do… all of that is something that has been lacking in the wizarding world for years. If… if only we'd had some of those traits, then Voldemort would never have gotten as far as he had. He would never have driven us to the brink of extinction."