Entrapment

Decades had passed, but why is this shadow haunting me. It doesn't matter how much goes on, there's that deep compressed thought in the back of your brain where you just keep living the nightmare over and over again. Feelings of before bringing yourself to relive those moments like it had just happened. An eleven to thirteen year old girl was left; standing there frozen unable to move her legs, no sounds come out, throat lodged with a lump making it difficult to swallow. The only fear that strikes you from the pit of your stomach, leaves you feeling yourself as to blame for this....and as a child left with so many words exiting her brain., she feared of getting into trouble.

-"Remember, you're also in their nightmares"-

First decade was the most darkest the mind had ever dealt with, 2nd decade was oddly forgotten in a sense with much less memories, and dreams. The third decade is one that it troubling, but don't have any sadness for what all happened. Having thoughts of wanting to know why, questions about if everything that could happen, could it all in the end be forgiven; if given a sincere apology?

To believe... *that no matter how good or bad someone is, everyone involved will always remember, regardless of sincere regret and remorse." You'll never be forgotten once that surpass that boundary, and respect.

Anger has been dismissed years ago, along with sadness. Left with unanswered questions that may or may not be answered.

No feelings of needing to communicate outloud, some things if left unspoken, unseen, and unheard...then maybe there will be a decade of those future moments.

Deny them of negativity, positive thoughts and creating new memories should be what to look forward too. ✨️ living one life, also means to make every future moment count for yourself and the ones you love. The ones that don't matter, just means you don't know them well enough to care. Forget the hurtful words said, the pain brought on by the brutal attacks, the cruel half that came out was self loathe taken out on others to have lost self esteem, and confidence. It's easier to tear someone down that you hardly know than it is to another.