4.What A Wonderful World.

As we trotted under the hot Australian sun with our horses, our pace was brisk. Damon would occasionally spur Thunder into a thunderous gallop, prompting us to follow suit. Queen, on the other hand, loved to gallop and was even faster than Thunder. It wasn't uncommon for me to overtake Damon as we galloped, but I always allowed Queen to settle down after our bursts of speed.

Damon would scowl at us while Thunder, full of life, seemed to want to go everywhere except where Damon had planned. He had to work hard to redirect Thunder, who was just as stubborn as he was lively.

Despite the challenges, Wulfe didn't have time to spend extra time with me since we had already ridden for over 40 hours with only three brief breaks for snacks and rest. Riding Queen, with her challenging trot, required me to use my body to stay secure in the saddle. She was also a skilled jumper, much to the disapproval of Damon, who seemed envious when Thunder showed little interest in jumping.

Queen, with her striking appearance of a shiny pitch-black coat and snow-white mane and tail, was undeniably eye-catching. Even though she might get dirty at some point, this wasn't a horse show but rather a time to have fun and enjoy ourselves. 

I found myself pondering various horse breeds and colors, considering what I had read previously. Although I hadn't delved deeply into the genetics of horse colors, I thought it could be a fascinating study subject. Perhaps I could use this knowledge to plan a few foals.

However, I was unsure about the genetic coloring of the Queen. This uncertainty led me to wonder what color her foal would be, assuming she had one. Of course, the stallion would also play a role, but I was aware that determining the outcome solely based on color wasn't that simple.

Foaling involved more than just selecting two aesthetically pleasing horses to breed. Considering that horses are large animals, pregnancy and foaling could be challenging and come with potential complications. While the size difference could be a concern, it wasn't a major issue for Queen, given her large size, ensuring ample room for a foal or even two.

As we trotted through the forest, the rhythmic sound of horse hooves on the soft ground accompanied us. The air was filled with various scents, ranging from earthy smells to the fragrances of fresh flowers, along with the comforting scent of eucalyptus, like a warm blanket enveloping us.

The sunlight filtered through the canopy, offering some shade, although the heat was still intense, causing my shirt to be soaked with sweat. Despite this discomfort, it was just a minor inconvenience.

The forest echoed with the chirping of birds, and I tried to identify as many species as possible. Wulfe rode alongside me occasionally, but it seemed that every time we made progress, Damon or someone else required Wulfe's attention, leading to our separation once more. I wasn't sure if it was due to jealousy or other reasons, but we still had a long way to go before reaching our castle.

Alaric rode up next to me and commented, "You and Damon, you know, you two belong together. I have observed it now. Though I had my doubts, considering how ruthless he can be, you truly deserve the best. But when you two connect, it's extraordinary. He doesn't share that kind of chemistry with even Mariella."

I nodded in agreement and replied, "It has always been like this, right from the beginning. Even when the good times with Damon were exceptional, the bad times were equally challenging. I suppose I'm a masochist, continually falling for him despite the pain he inflicts. It seems like it's destined to be this way, even if he's slow to realize it, as he has always been."

Alaric furrowed his brow, his weathered face displaying uncertainty as he looked at me, and inquired calmly, "What do you mean, Mimi? I know your past has been tough, but..."

I said, "Old history, no need to probe there."

He replied, "Come on, tell me. It's okay, I won't judge."

I rolled my eyes and said, "I'm not afraid of anyone judging me, but it's just my memory. It's not so pleasant to reminisce about everything, but fine."

I took a better grip on the reins of the queen, feeling my sweaty palms. I tried to adjust the reins so my grip wouldn't slip, but my palms were sweaty and slick. Finally, I got my reins in some sort of order and realized that I had used them as an excuse to prepare myself for this little story.

My voice was quiet as I tried to keep memories from bursting out, not wanting to alert Wulfe. "Well, it all began when I killed Damien for the first time. I destroyed our love, and it was hard, but I did it anyway. Then we grew distant. Even after having our very first children, I was not alone per se even the pack had deserted me. I had Colin and Magnum, and Wulfe was there for me, not my pack, so much. We had 17 babies, but we did not care for them for too long. Mariella wanted to move on, so we did it, per her wishes. The next big hurdle was when these evil wizards, being in Bran and Samuel's bodies, kidnapped me. They revived Damien, who looked like Damon, and it took a year, a whole damn year, of me being trapped. Not that I recall much about it anymore, as Wulfe decimated it out of my mind. I asked Bridgette to make me the bad guy, as it was easier for me. I couldn't bear Damon's touch, his smell, not one of the Salvatores. The year got to me too badly. Time went by, and we never got that much closer. They had road trips without me, horse riding without me. Wulfe, Magnum, and Colin were there for me, too."

Alaric muttered, "Poor thing, how in hell was he so blind? I'm sorry if I'm dragging up too much shit."

I nodded, noticing Tim, Taylor, Dresden, and Constantine were also close by, listening. I didn't mind; it was good. They were my pack, and maybe it would be good for them to hear about the past and not just assume everything was dandy and fine between us. Well, it wasn't, not for about a decade or so.

I continued with my story, feeling Queen still trotting, smelling like a warm horse. Maybe this trip was also good for sharing and learning about our pasts. "Well, it was years ago when I was alone. The pack had gone on holiday, and I had made new friends, as you remember."

Alaric nodded, saying, "I don't want to have to control you even once when you have that silver craziness. It was too much, even for me."

I smiled and continued, "I was working on Pennsylvania Manor when Damon came in. He pleaded with me to save others - Mariella, Adam, Charles, and the Salvatores. He and number two had managed to get out, but number two was in terrible shape, and Damon wasn't doing too well himself."

Tim asked, "Did you help them? Did you get them out?"

His expression was curious, but he noticed something in my face that made him frown a bit.

I nodded and said, "Sark had them. It was the one place I was never supposed to go - Sark's headquarters, more or less. But I did it anyway, alone, telling no one. I got them out, but I got caught, of course. The entire pack needed care, and Damon, as well as the Salvatores, were all over Mariella."

It was surprising to hear genuine regret in Mariella's voice as she rode next to me, "Oh, Mimi, I regret so much about that whole thing. I was manipulative for so long, and I'm not sure if I'm any better nowadays. You truly are a saint."

Magnum chimed in nearby, "No, she's not a saint, but a stubborn martyr who is convinced she has to sacrifice herself, not even stopping to think if things could be done less traumatically."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Guilty as charged. I am who I am, and it's not easy for me to change. But back to my story."

I took a pause before continuing, "I was trapped there for weeks, and Sark did all kinds of tests on me. He used these new substances from deep-sea dives that made me feel absolutely awful. And then there was Krycheck, trying to brainwash me, more or less. The pack saved me. I don't have many details, but I know Damon was the one carrying me out, and he was almost crying. Not sure why?"

Mariella expressed, "He realized for the first time that he couldn't bear to lose you. You were in terrible shape, weighing 21 kilos or even less, ill, and confused about who we were. He had been searching for a rescue plan for the past three weeks, feeling helpless."

Her voice sounded a bit bitter, or maybe regretful. I wasn't sure how to interpret it. I adjusted my reins again, feeling my palms getting even sweatier.

Alaric then asked, "There's more, isn't there, Mimi? I can sense it."

I nodded and replied, "Well, I was in a terrible state. It took a lot of effort to get rid of those harmful substances and get me back in shape. I was unwell, with an infection festering inside me. I managed to conceal it, feeling uncertain, powerless, and insecure. I kept it under control, but it drained me. My straps were suffering, dropping off, and even the strapping agent didn't help."

Mariella added, "Damon couldn't bear it. He couldn't let Mimi die alone in a hospital bed, even though she would eventually recover. Something stirred inside him, his love for her."

I nodded and recounted, "So, he came and held me in his arms, cradling me until I couldn't hold on any longer. I had one weak strap left, but the feeling of safety, of him holding me, my other half, my soulmate, kept me fighting."

Mariella noted, "The rest of us, numbers two, nine, and seven, were convinced she wouldn't make it. I was prepared to comfort Damon afterward, as he would be traumatized. But she persevered, holding on to that one stubborn strap. Finally, after two more weeks, she regained enough strength for Damon to start assisting her. It was only then, when the infection had set in, that we had something to treat."

I rolled my eyes and said, "Of course, I was not an easy patient, and the other Salvatores had their hands full. Then, number one and Mariella came by, but he was not in the mood to be a doctor, so he snapped at me. I recovered and let him know that there was no need to fear me being a patient or demanding anything from him. It took time for him to get me back after that, but he took out his number four part. He kidnapped me to another realm for a sex vacation quite a few times before Mariella intervened and gave him a potion that scrambled that part of him for good. Of course, there was so much more, but I don't need to tell everything."

Alaric nodded and said, "You two have been quite a ride. Now I understand why you still have such enormous problems with him. With that kind of past, it's no wonder."

I shrugged and said, "Well, it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have my memory. But I do, and I remember everything. It makes me a neurotic mess, as my trust in him has been decimated so many times. I have no idea what will happen in the future."

Alaric nodded.

Magnum said, "You've got us now. I won't let him treat you like that. Never. I will throttle him if he tries to do something like that."

Mariella replied sheepishly, her posture slightly rigid as we had slowed to a canter now and it was easier to maintain posture, "I was a big reason for Damon's behavior. My jealousy and possessiveness have been one enormous factor, and I must take responsibility, too. I realize how much my petty games ended up hurting you, as I have felt so much more as the hive exists. I have felt your pain."

I was silent. Having the hive, a pack mind, was, of course, a good thing. But then again, my inner feline recoiled slightly as she perceived this as a weakness. Others could sense my pain, but was it weakness? I had the right to my feelings, too, and I was not supposed to be a robot that I had been or let others see me as such.

I was thinking about my pack and who we were. I was the alpha female, a chimera of vampire and shifter with a supernatural white-hot rage in her mind, with the ability to remember everything she had ever experienced. I was also chaos, an energy explorer, a loader, and the pack's energy reserve.

Of course, I could give myself more titles, like the queen of vampires, which I was, but I was also the leader of my organization, a special agent of the NSA, and much more. Not bad for a nobody who got kidnapped just because she had the right eight genes. Some would say this was all meant to be, as I was more or less prophesied and a lot more, but who knows? 

Then there was Damon, my husband, my first love, my heartbreaker, and his nine versions, too. Damon had been many things in his life, but mostly he had been a vampire. Only when he got involved with me did his evolution begin. Nowadays, he was more or less a chimera, a lust wizard, an energy creature, my other half, and the truest soulmate for Mariella.

The other versions of Damon, known by numbers, were unique individuals and part of the Salvatore hive. They had been part of Damon until Bridgette, the original witch, took them into safekeeping for the future to prevent Damien from corrupting them. Damon was the only one left, and he had to fight against his evil twin, who manipulated him.

It was one big mess until Mariella got involved. He was something to her. He would never be to me, but that was okay, as I had my truest soulmate, Wulfe, a 2500-year-old vampire wizard who grounded me and loved me like no other. To him, I was a unicorn.

Adam was my original savior, perhaps even my biggest one. He was always there for me, ready to feel my pain just to try to help me. He was also one of my husbands, and maybe I had loved him longer than Damon. Unlike Damon, Adam never hurt me. He had no Mariella, no need to break my heart.

Then there was Charles, my soulmate, the one who could light up my heart with just one look. He taught me to love again. He was safety, and he was mine in a way he would never be Mariella's, despite being her protector.

Tim and Taylor were my steadfast subordinates for quite some time, and nowadays, our pack members. They were also linked to Jake and Rob, whose sons they were. Jake and Rob were my two soulmates who I lost a long time ago but who were still with me as their boys and as ghosts.

They were always there for me, helping and guarding me. Our love transcended to heaven, and they chose to stay with me. It was quite an honor to think that, as they had wives and children, they chose me. Losing them was the biggest and hardest thing in my life, and not a day goes by when I don't wish things could be different. 

Then there are Dresden and Constantine, two guys who have been by my side for a long time. They are wizards, friends, and almost like protectors, who have helped me frequently. Now, they are part of our pack, have raised cubs, and left their legacy. I cared for them in my way, unsure of others' feelings towards them, simply riding along with my pack.

Our pack now consists of 30 members, originally starting with just three: me, Adam, and Samuel. As time passed, Damon joined us, Bran became involved, Charles joined our pack, and Mimosa and Mirella became part of our group. Our pack expanded, but Mirella's betrayal and subsequent death still haunt us.

I realized that as I grew, so did our pack - perhaps this was how it was meant to be, a large, powerful group with diverse creatures.

Some supported me, like Magnum, my oldest friend, a sergeant major, and, at times, my lover. He never betrayed me, though he didn't coddle me either. He kept me grounded and ensured I stayed on track, acting as my "rage whisperer" who knew how to calm me down and prevent my anger from exploding.

There were a lot of people in our pack, and I came to realize that it was a strength, not a weakness, to be able to share and let them feel my pain. It was a vulnerability that bound us together. They could see me as the alpha female who always protected them, putting others before myself. It was just who I was. Perhaps it was good for them to see that I was not as strong or invincible as they thought.

My train of thought was interrupted by Damon's voice in my mind, "Baby, come on, ride with me. Let's ride together, talk a bit, or see how fast we can gallop."

I sensed his uncertainty as he tried to convince me he had changed, having listened to my story. I tightened my grip on Queen's reins, urging her to trot faster and catch up to Damon and Thunder.

Damon looked at me, smirking, noticing my sweat, and said, "Well, baby, we still have a long way to go, but don't worry, I'll let you have a shower at the castle."

I rolled my eyes and sarcastically replied, "Oh, thank you. How generous of you."

His smirk grew more arrogant as we picked up the pace, causing me to work harder to stay in the saddle.

He remarked, "Baby, I know our past was rough, and believe me, I'd change it if I could. But now, I'm changing. I can't promise anything, but I'll try to be there for you. I'll try to make things work."

I nodded and said, "I know you and your promises. I have my philosophy when it comes to promises. They are not binding. You can try your best to keep them, but sometimes it's just not possible. Making a promise shows trust and care, but it's not the end of the world if you can't keep it. I know this very well."

Damon looked at me and said, "For me, it's a matter of honor. Keeping my word is important."

I acknowledged his perspective, mentioning, "I know you. You're quite old-fashioned, despite trying to be modern. Deep down, you're ancient. Wulfe, even though older than you, is less traditional. Perhaps it's due to his nature or upbringing."

Damon grunted and said, "It could be. We still have about 30 hours to go. Let's take a breather soon, but get ready for a long ride through the arid desert. We'll be galloping most of the way, so prepare yourself."

I nodded and noticed Mariella riding next to Damon, engaging in conversation about a new recipe for a key lime pie. My time with Damon was over, and it was all good.

Soon, we would need to move as quickly as possible in the scorching morning air. The sun was already blazing, as hot as it could be. There was a lot of history between Damon, Mariella, and me.

I recalled the time Mariella had been my wife on paper, a ploy to get my money. There was never any love between us. I had been with a few women, and it was all good. Being a feline, I didn't feel the need to label my sexual preferences. I could have fun with whoever I wanted.

However, having multiple mates could lead to consequences if I got too experimental. I wasn't sure if Mariella had been involved with wolves or girls, or if she was solely focused on males. Maybe she was more interested in intense experiences rather than girl-on-girl action. It was her problem, not mine. I had no idea what this trip would bring, but it was sure to be an adventure.

This trip was special because it was our first survival trip in Australia. It was intense, unique, and a lot of fun for all of us. As I write this, our pack still consists of 30 people, sometimes more, due to the number of babies we have raised over the years. I am always prepared to hand them over when the time comes. This trip was a unique apology from Damon that made a lasting impact on all of us.