Chapter 1

Hello guys, Good morning everyone we are happy to welcome you to this University...

Hey, don't listen to that. I'm Anandh and welcome to my life. Actually welcome to my chaotic life. Do you know why I said that? Imagine having lot of anger issues, a little bit of ADHD and even PTSD. Trust me I do have those, I never went to diagonise it because I couldn't tell my parents that I have some mental health issues. What would they reply if I say "I have these issues right now. I guess we need to go to a therapist". "We can drop you at a mental hospital" this is what they say ofcourse, they already did.

And now I'm a fresher in a university, I don't know why I'm still studying because my mind is at somewhere else. That's too common for everyone now, but I don't care about everyone. I have to make new friends here, it's okay I'm good at that but I will have issues with every single one of them ofcourse. Why i said that? Because that's the truth, I don't want to act like I'm fine with everything. I am a guy who speaks a lot but goes silent all of a sudden. It's hard to be me because I'm managing myself including my other works.

Let's invite our principal to address everyone.

"The seminar hall is so noisy" one dude beside me murmured. "You were saying something?" I asked, ofcourse i listened to him but still. "No I was talking to myself, by the way I am Ashok nice to meet you" He streched his arm for a shake hand. "Anandh" I replied shaking hands with him."You look like you have some serious attitude" He started the conversation. "Me? Why'd you think that?"I asked him,I am acting like I was surprised but no wonder because everyone called me an egoistic brat on face."No offence, but you do give me those vibes".Ashok is a good looking guy with a beard and a mullet, maybe he is shorter than me but looks smart though."No, it's just I don't know what to do at a place like this" I am trying to be honest."Are you an introvert?" He asked .How could I tell him that I'm not an introvert, extrovert or ambivert. Do I have MPD too? No. No. I just act different with different people."not really." I hope he changes the topic, I thought. "Oh so you are an ambivert?",Will he never give up? "Haha kind of" I managed a smile."I see, it's okay you will get used to this environment". Same story, but i feel like this guy is a bit different. I don't know why, but I feel like he will be my best friend.

Finally, the day had come to an end. We went to the canteen, had some tea and we talked about our interests. While going home I watched a mother and her son walking carrying a luggage bag crying. You know what had happened. My entire mood was ruined, not because I had seen that, it is because that I had been there. My past had suddenly came into my mind. I tried to forget it but it still haunts me. Those where the days where I used to think "Why me god?", and looking back I think I had been in my worst phase ever.

I went home, sat on my sofa and talked to mom about college and freshed up. Later I went to my room, listening to Radiohead and looking at the ceiling. I don't know what I am doing, I don't know what should I do. I just try not to be awkward. Dad went to some work he might be late. And then a notification popped up. It's a girl named "yokshitha". She is my best friend, i owe her my entire life because she was there in my past , she is there in my present and she will be there in future. The irony is that she messages me when ever I feel low and makes me feel better instantly. "Hello sir ,what are you upto?" This is what the notification is showing me. I did not open the message I just kept my phone aside. And another message had popped up "You were reading my messages on notifications bar weren't you?" I smiled a bit. I sent "Yes, what are you going to do now?". "You need to be grateful that I am your bestfriend you know!" She started her rants, "Ohh I don't know :)" I sent. She was typing something but stopped it and started typing again after 10 seconds. Now she sent "What happened to you? Are you ok?" Man how does she know all that, how can she even see the difference. "Everything is alright" I sent, "promise?" She asked. I don't want to tell lies after a promise so I told the truth " I am a bit off, had seen a parent and her child going to some other place crying. It reminded me of my past somehow". "I see, I'm here to talk whenever you feel sad" she replied. "I know, it's just a little feeling that I had. I'll be alright , I promise". She did not felt very confident about me saying I will be alright but I told her I have to go because my mom was calling and here I am looking at the ceiling again.

Many people have some rough phases and everyone suffers from something. Maybe my life meant to pass all this and be happy I guess. I always believe in a quote "Everything is for a cause". I believe in it, I don't know if it is true or not but that line makes me feel much more better. While listening to the songs I slept.