A glimmer of gratitude amidst the pain

The next day, Cynthia entered the front porch of her house and, true to her expectations, she found the boy she'd been thinking about, standing just in front of her house. Tian was leaning against the wall of their neighbor's house, his eyes closed as he stood waiting with his arms crossed. The morning light cast a gentle glow on his face, highlighting the contours of his strong features.

Cynthia couldn't help but smile at the sight of him, feeling a familiar flutter in her chest. She took a moment to admire how peaceful he looked, a stark contrast to the worry she knew had plagued him yesterday.

As she approached, she cleared her throat softly, not wanting to startle him but eager to see his reaction. Tian's eyes opened slowly, a small smile tugging at his lips as he straightened up, uncrossing his arms. "Good morning," he greeted, his voice warm and comforting.

"Good morning. You are here today as well." Cynthia replied, her smile growing wider.

Tian chuckled, "Well, I realized that I enjoy our walks to school. Besides, I wanted to make sure you were safe." His eyes held a sincerity that made Cynthia's heart skip a beat.

They began walking together, falling into an easy rhythm. The streets were quieter this morning, the usual hustle and bustle subdued as the city slowly came to life.

"Do you have some other work after school to complete, or would you be walking home with me?" Cynthia asked, making Tian's breath hitch for a moment.

He quickly gathered himself, "I'll be walking back with you," he assured her. Worried he might not have sounded convincing enough, he racked his brain for a plausible excuse. "My sister is quite forgetful," he added with a chuckle. "She accidentally took some of her classmate's books, and I had to go and return them."

Cynthia chuckled softly, her head shaking playfully as she nudged his arm. "Stop it. She's so little. Let her be." Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she looked at him, a warm smile spreading across her face.

Tian's own smile refused to die down as he stared at the girl next to him, smiling ever so wonderfully. This is what he liked to see, her hazel eyes sparkling with delight as her face etches itself to a wide smile. At times, he had seen a sort of blank look on her face where her smile appeared forced with no spark in her eyes. He hated that sight.

But now as he watched the scene quite in contrast to that, "Your smile," he said, almost in a whisper, "it could light up the darkest room." His words were sincere, his eyes locking onto hers with an intensity that made Cynthia's cheeks flush a delicate pink.

Cynthia felt her heart skip a beat, his words resounding in her mind like a broken record. If he continued to make her heart flutter like this every morning, she wasn't sure how long she would be able to function properly.

"I…Thank you.", she thanked him, her voice coming out slightly breathless as she stared at him and she found herself unable to look away from his gaze. "I am sorry, I...I don't know what more to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Tian assured her, his hand brushed past the back of her hand, the slight contact adding to the tension between them, and with his words, "Just keep being you. That's all I could ever ask for.", she felt her heart melting to a puddle.

She felt a warmth spread through her chest, the sincerity in his words melting her heart. "You r.. really know how to make a girl feel special," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"In my defense, you are the first one…I mean, it's not wrong for me to make my friend feel special, no?", his attempt to make their conversation light didn't deter the mix of emotions she had felt earlier but his words….Cynthia's smile slightly faltered, her gaze falling back to the ground as she realized that they were just a few steps away from the school.

"We should get to class," she said, trying to steady her voice.

Tian nodded, dropping his hand but not the warmth in his eyes. "Yeah, let's go." As they walked side by side toward their classroom, Tian couldn't help but glance at her every few moments, his heart swelling with affection.

Cynthia, on the other hand, was lost in her thoughts, replaying their conversation over and over. Cynthia forced a smile, the word 'friend' echoing in her mind. Maybe I'm just overthinking things, she thought, trying to convince herself.

Suddenly, the word "friend" that had brought them closer now became the source of uncertainty. Was everything he said just friendly banter? Did her crush on him color every interaction, making it seem more meaningful than it was? Her mind played back their conversations like scenes from a movie. There were moments that had made her heart race, but alongside those were his casual mentions of friendship.

The weight of this realization made it hard to catch her breath as she settled into her seat across from him. Conflicted thoughts raced through her mind, casting a shadow of doubt over their connection. Was everything just her wishful thinking but had been nothing but a token of friendship from his side?

The classes passed by and break arrived as she placed her books inside her bag, her eyes couldn't help but look at him, to find him already looking at her. Her lips pulled up to a smile subconsciously but it dimmed when her earlier thoughts came back with full force.

'Is it just because I like you that I see these things as something special?', she thought, tilting her body back to the front, 'You couldn't possibly like me, right? You only look out for me as a friend.'

Feeling a pat on her back, she looked up and found Nia's smiling face. "Ready to devour some food?", she asked, her cheerful voice instantly lifting her spirits. "Yes.", Cynthia stood up, turning her head to look at Tian as she asked him to join them. "Let's go?"

Tian agreed and the group of three made their way to the cafeteria, Nia who walked behind the two couldn't help but sense that something was off, especially from Cynthia's side.

In their usual exchanges, Tian and Cynthia would share sweet conversations that often left Nia longing for Ryan's lively banter. But today, as Tian tried to weave their usual heartwarming dialogue, Cynthia's distracted replies drew concerned frowns from Tian and Nia. The warmth that typically filled their interactions seemed dimmed, replaced by a sense of unease that lingered in the air like an unspoken question mark.

"You good, Cyn?", Nia hooked her arm with Cynthia's, her voice dropping with a tinge of concern. "Yes, of course. I think I am just a bit hungry.", her immediate response deepened Nia's frown as she looked at Tian.

Seeing his expressions mirroring hers, she sighed before nodding her head in acceptance. Cynthia moved forward, grabbed her food, and settled at the table. A few moments later, Tian arrived and took the seat next to her.

Observing this, Cynthia took a deep breath, trying to stabilize her emotions that were going haywire because of her thoughts. I can't possibly behave like this just because of my confusion, she reminded herself before taking several deep breaths in between her bites.

Suddenly, her spoon hung mid-air when she felt Tian's palm wrapping around her wrist to stop her movement. She snapped her head towards him questioningly. "Where are you lost, Cynthia?" The rough edge in his voice made her frown as she looked at him in confusion. "What?"

Tian sighed and grabbed her spoon, dropping its contents into his own dish. "At least, look at what you are eating. Can you even imagine what would've happened if you would've consumed these soy chunks when you are allergic to them?"

Cynthia's gaze dropped to her dish, feeling the blush of embarrassment and frustration painting her face. But soon, her heart fluttered with familiar emotions when she realized that he remembered her allergy even though she had mentioned it casually. "I..I am sorry. I..my mind-"

"Cynthia, listen," Tian's voice caused her to pause. "I have already said this to you before, and I am saying this again. It would always help to find a friend to lean on. If you have something to say, then you can say it to me. I am here to support you."

There it was again, that word 'friend.' It seemed she was right; he only saw her as a friend, and that should be okay, right? Just because she had feelings for him didn't necessarily mean that he had to reciprocate them. But why did everything hurt all of a sudden?

Looking at his face, his brown eyes coated with concern as he stared at no one but her brought a layer of pain that burned her eyes with tears. She dropped her gaze to the table before nodding. "I will keep that in mind."

The word 'friend' echoed in her mind, a reminder of the unspoken truth she couldn't ignore. Her heart ached with the weight of unrequited love, but amidst the pain, a glimmer of gratitude shone through. She had a friend in Tian, someone who cared deeply for her safety and well-being, even if their relationship remained defined by that simple word: friends.