Chapter Four: Cabin Diaries

This Samaritan's Home was not always all sunshine and rainbows, they had their good days and their bad days.

I once had an allergic reaction to a particular dose of Risperidone where my tongue would swell up and I could not speak, it literally was all mumbled and slurred. At times I would wake up in the middle of the night with a swollen tongue hanging out of my mouth, after being woken up by this I literally found it hard to get back to sleep so it caused me restless nights. The other symptom I got with a swollen tongue was drooling and I found it hard to breathe through my mouth at times and sometimes my nose would be clogged and blocked therefore it was very hard to breathe. And then one night I just couldn't sleep as I was so restless. I ended up causing so much of a scene that they had called the cops who took me to the hospital where I was accompanied by my key worker. I stayed overnight at the hospital while I was continuously checked up on by several different doctors. I even had this one nurse who woke me up one night checking my reflexes by banging my kneecap with this hammer looking object that I don't know the name of and can't be fucked searching it up so we're just going to roll with that. Anyways she would literally do this to test how my reflexes were and she woke me up and would keep asking me "Can you feel this''? All she got back was moaning and groaning because I was literally half asleep. But my brain was like "Seriously bitch, can you just like fucking stop? Of fucking course I can feel it like your literally hitting my kneecap with that hammery thingy majig."

The next day rolled by quickly and I had woken up in another room. You ever get that feeling where you fall asleep in one room then when you wake up and your in a completely different room and your like "What the fuck, how'd I get here"? This was me here. Fell asleep in a bed in a different room and the doctors and nurses move me just to trip me the fuck out like come on. So not cool.

Anyways I get news that due to the incident the night before has led to the boss of the Samaritans home to say that I'm not allowed to go back so therefore I'm being discharged and going to this cabin that was literally so close to the airport the planes would wake me up. But yeah they set me up in this cabin, though I was still under the Samaritans and their carers. And here I met some new amazing carers. We had all sorts of fun. I was here for a long time. Months maybe more.

I had a room in this cabin and in this room were bunk beds with a small wardrobe for clothes and such. I learnt a lot of new things, here at this cabin that I stayed at for a while I met some lovely new carers in which we did some pretty extraordinarily fun things which I'll go into greater detail below.

I had this book that I used to play a game with the carers. In different coloured pens we would each take turns in writing a few different words and with those few words underneath we would have to come up with a sentence with the chosen words above. There was only one rule: They had to make sense. No gibberish! It was a fun game that could go on for hours before eventually getting bored and wanting to do something else. I also decided that it would be hysterical to fill up a balloon and throw into the wardrobe where it had exploded and the water went everywhere, I had a good laugh for a few minutes but the carers were not impressed, I did not really give two shits though because well... I felt amused and completely satisfied. Other things during my time at this cabin would include; watching movies, TV series, going outside venturing with my carers. One time a carer who had one leg which I thought was so cool as he kind of reminded me of a pirate anyways he took me down the riverbend to fish although I had no idea as to how to fish, I would let him cast my line into the water but one day I wanted to try and cast the line all by myself which ended up being a complete disaster. I threw my line too far back and it ended up getting stuck in a tree.. God knows what I was trying to catch in that tree: maybe a bird, I literally have no idea but due to this disaster the carer remained in charge of casting my line. As a child I was not allowed to just run off on my own although at times I did but would be in trouble afterwards. When fishing was over we would go back to the cabin for dinner then bed. Then we would continue the following days as per usual. When I was banished from going anywhere near the Samaritans home and was discharged from the hospital then taken to this cabin I don't remember much about attending my school during these times I was away from the Samaritans home.

Fast forward to this one night where I was all happy and dancing around making my way to the toilet. Yeah I know it sounds weird but for this type of incident. Anyways the door was a sliding door which I totally hated, as I went and pulled the door shut being a total idiot I slammed my pinkie in the sliding door, walking out of the bathroom with my left pinkie dripping in blood forgetting that I had to go to the toilet. Screaming in severe agony and severe pain while bleeding. I explained to my carers they grabbed my favourite book and we wrapped my pinkie in a tea towel while the other carer grabbed the keys to the van and to the hospital it was. One drove while the other sat with me in the back, I was still crying and screaming in agony and pain while the carer read my favourite Ben 10 book to me. Reading my favourite book was supposed to take my mind off of the pain I was in, it took my mind off the pain for a bit before eventually going back to screaming and crying. Finally we had arrived at the Manning Base Hospital which was located in Taree NSW, Australia rushing into emergency while one of the carers began putting pressure on the wound. I was feeling really lightheaded from all the blood I'd lost so one carer took me to sit down while the other checked me in. Once I had been checked in the other carer made their way over to where we had been seated also where the carer was still reading to me over and over in order to settle me down and take my mind off of the pain which it worked at times.

After hours of waiting I was finally seen to by a doctor who examined the wound later to be told it needed stitches and of course at this time I was absolutely petrified of needles so I was shaking my head they took my teddy bear who's name was Oscar to demonstrate to me that needles don't hurt and pricked him with a needle which today I now realise how stupid I was with my needle phobia but we all had phobias back when we were young maybe even ones we still have such as myself I still have certain phobias I've had all my life. But I still said no to the needle and stitches therefore the doctor suggested a second option that didn't involve any needles which was the offer I had chosen.

With my left pinkie all cleaned and bandaged up, the carers were given instructions on how to look after my wound. Which they had done very well with. We went home and it was straight off to bed. The very next day it was back to the hospital for a check up and to have X-Rays done on my left pinkie to make sure I haven't broken any bones which was a sigh of relief that I had not broken any bones but I still had to have it bandaged and cleaned for a few weeks. It for sure did end up leaving me with a permanent scar once it had healed. But my time was up at this cabin near the airport, boy I sure was going to miss it as there were some good times and bad times such as cutting my finger open but I did learn my lesson and that was, I quote:

"Don't be a dickhead dancing around all happily when shutting a sliding door as dumb mistakes always turn into something bad whether it is slamming your finger into a door almost loosing a finger or loosing your toe or slamming it in a door. Be careful and don't be a fuckhead doing stupid shit."

I had also been to a refuge care home where I'd met a man who had one leg. This refuge was close to an old railway track that was closed down. And wasn't running. I think I remember going to this old railway track alone as home was not far. Or I just snuck out.

But..

Our dumb mistakes always leads to stupid shit happening but we all learn our mistakes one way or another. As I said my time was up and by that I mean that Shiralee came to the cabin to say that I was welcome back into the Samaritan's home but on a few circumstances and rules, new rules that I had to abide by. Of course I agreed. And therefore I was welcomed back into the Samaritan's home on Macquarie Street.

I treated my teddy bear Oscar as if he were my son because I loved him the day I won him. Before I knew it my mum was back in town and was battling hard in court to get full custody of me. Of course my dad was fighting hard too but he didn't have a chance although both were putting their everything into the court cases.