Chapter Nine: Out of School Hours (Teenage Diaries: Part Two)

Besides studying years ten/eleven, what was life outside of school hours like for me? Well to say the least, it was not the greatest. When mum and I had first moved into my stepdad's place I had a room inside the house that I would sleep in that was until they got sick of me and my shit that followed with me so therefore they decided to put me in a caravan that was located outside on the property behind the house and sleeping in this caravan was fucking shit I hated every minute of every hour I spent in this caravan that I destroyed but for me to destroy something I would have had to of been provoked and/or antagonised for such a horrible thing such as property damage to occur.

Yes, I do realise that property damage is not okay and that it was completely the wrong thing to do that to this day I'm still not forgiven for even though it was a few years ago now.

I'd enjoy listening to music and writing but if I ever opened mouth and sang or rapped, I would be told to shut the fuck up but when my sister sang, it was allowed which made me come to realise what the actual pattern was which was she could sing as she had classes plus, she had auditioned for The X Factor Australia twice and in their eyes, I could not sing and had not taken classes or had even auditioned for a popular music competition show like my sister. Therefore, if I were to ever open my mouth to sing or rap, I was yelled at to shut the fuck up which I had found totally disrespectful and unfair that my sister was allowed to sing but not me, like come on dude like for fucksakes.

Whenever I was allowed to go out to explore the neighbourhood with a curfew even though I was sixteen/seventeen at this time, yeah, I know stupid how I had a fucking curfew. Oh, and that was not it I was not allowed a phone because they were scared, I was going to look up fucking pornography. Like what the actual fuck. Masturbation was somewhat forbidden. I never used to believe in God and the Christian side of things that was until my mother married my stepfather that I began attending church because he is a heavy believer in all that.

I had this large Christmas stuffed bear that as soon as I could produce semen, I cut a vagina like hole where I had visioned the vagina to be located and I would stick my penis inside the hole that I had cut out and pretend to fuck it. Well one morning I was at school, my stepdad went into the caravan and found the stuffed bear or whatever the fuck it was anyways noticed it had semen on it at least I think this was what occurred. And when I got home that evening I was confronted, I later found out that they had gone to my support coordinator and wanted her to put a stop to it but she just turned around and said that it was a normal thing for a boy my age at this time. She pretty much shut them down. I didn't have many friends that would come over because not everyone can tolerate or put up with my shit. I found it difficult to even maintain a regular normal relationship so therefore I was in and out of relationships. School and life outside school was not the easiest. I experienced bullying all my life and it did not improve as a matter of fact it increased as life went on. And life at home was not any better, there were times that I just wanted to pack my shit and runaway far away from the hell I lived in.

But the moral of the story is shitty place to sleep, curfews, no mobile phones, being restricted and limited to what I was allowed to do and not allowed to do. As well as experiencing ongoing bullying throughout life. With everything that went on in my life I managed to find free time to do what I enjoyed doing which usually was either reading books such as Harry Potter and many more different novels. As much as I enjoyed reading I also enjoyed writing my own books. If it was not reading or writing novels then it was listening to music via my alarm clock radio that had a radio setting on it if not listening to music I would write song lyrics of my own that would never get heard. Half the stories and songs I had written during these times I have now lost their original copies therefore I am having to begin re-writing old novels I wrote all these years ago one at a time.

I had also gotten a guitar in which I had begun learning to play by teaching myself.

During the times that I was not grounded and restricted I would go out to see friends that lived within the neighbourhood. Besides going to respite for the weekend or going to the local shops or family relatives houses, I would be doing odd jobs for people within the neighbourhood in which I had began making small amounts of money that I was questioned to as how I had gotten that money by my mum or my stepfather as they did not agree with me doing odd jobs for people in the neighbourhood even though it was the only way for me to earn money because I did not start earning my own income via Centrelink until I was seventeen/eighteen, I also never had job like most teenagers would at the ages fourteen/fifteen/sixteen/seventeen/eighteen. And at other times I would help around the house doing usual day to day chores.

Eventually time flew by fast therefore graduation grew upon us well in this case upon me. First formal which was fun then later on was graduation which I was excited. School was nearly over for us year twelves.

Thanks for the memories Willunga High School.