The first murder

I turned my head away, tears already streaming down my face.

"Ping'an, Ping'an... Sister wants to see you one more time, to remember what you look like! With you here, I'm not alone!" Sister Chunyan called out weakly, her breath becoming heavier.

"Sis, just rest. I promise I'll take you home. In the next life, you'll be my sister, and I'll protect you!" I clutched her icy hand, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Being your sister would be wonderful, having a brother to protect me forever... Ping'an, I'm so tired, so exhausted. I'll go home and have a good sleep now..." With those words, Sister Chunyan closed her eyes forever.

"Sis! Sis! I'm sorry, it's my fault I didn't take care of the bag Strong gave us. I shouldn't have talked about escaping. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." I held her cold body and cried my heart out.

Overwhelmed with grief, I cried until the sun was high in the sky. Then I stood up in a daze, looking for a place to bury her. The rain from the previous night had softened the soil in the forest. Using the military knife Strong had given me, I dug for about two hours to make a rectangular pit.

"Sis, don't blame me for not carrying you. It's too hot, and there are too many uncertainties. I'm afraid your body might... I'll bury you here for now and come back to take you home later. I promise I'll bring your ashes back to China. Sis, don't be afraid. Here's some of my hair to keep you company and protect you!"

I placed her in the pit, cut a lock of my hair, and put it in her hands, holding them tightly. "Sis, thank you for everything. I'll live on with your dreams. Every holiday, I'll burn offerings of delicious food and paper men for you..."

As I covered her with soil, it felt like a part of me died in northern Myanmar too. Her face had a slight smile, as if she had finally seen her home and family in her last moments. At least she passed peacefully.

After covering the grave, I packed the soil tightly and covered it with grass and leaves to prevent animals from disturbing it. I then placed some stones on top as a marker for when I return to take her home. I also cut marks into the surrounding trees, and then, heartbroken, I sat under a large tree, staring blankly at the forest.

The journey home was proving to be incredibly difficult. I was on the verge of giving up, completely lost in the jungles of northern Myanmar. Exhausted and weak, I was only slightly energized by the rainwater I drank last night. But digging the grave had drained my energy again, leaving me feeling powerless and worn out.

Occasional eerie bird calls from the jungle filled me with dread, and my mind was flooded with terrifying images. Scarface must have crossed the border by now with the AK. Traveling alone, he would move much faster. Heizi probably reached the border too and was likely sent back to China. How fortunate. As for the woman in white, I couldn't imagine her fate after being reported by the local villagers...

"Bang!" A gunshot suddenly rang out in the distance, waking me from my daze.

"Sis, run!" I instinctively reached for Sister Chunyan's hand, only to see the freshly dug grave. Tears flowed uncontrollably again.

"Bang! Bang!" More gunshots and the barking of wolf dogs echoed from the front. The pursuers had caught up!

I scrambled up, grabbed the knife, and ran into the forest. There was no way out, no escape. I could only run aimlessly through the eerie, dense forest.

After about twenty minutes of running, I came across a clearing and saw a road ahead, with fresh tire tracks from off-road vehicles. The tracks seemed recent. A road meant there was a way out. Maybe following it would lead to the border town in Yunnan.

With a plan in mind, I cautiously followed the tire tracks. The further I went, the clearer my view became. Occasionally, I could see villages in the distance. But I didn't dare seek help, fearing I would be sold again. However, fate has a way of confronting you with what you fear most.

As I turned a corner on the rough road, several ragged men suddenly rushed out from a side path.

"Help us, please help us!" Three bloodied men stared at me for a moment before desperately pleading for help.

"Stop, or I'll shoot!" Angry shouts and gunfire echoed not far behind. Before I could respond, an off-road vehicle roared down the rough road.

"Watch out!" I pulled the nearest man into a nearby grass heap just in time.

"Damn it, trying to run! See how far you can get, you bastards!" Six or seven thugs with AKs jumped out of the vehicle and started beating the two terrified men.

"Stop, please stop," the men cried, begging for mercy. 

"Where did you escape from?" I asked the man next to me, bracing for a fight.

"KK camp..." he stammered. The infamous KK camp? Oh no, that hellish place in Myawaddy. I thought I was in Kokang; how did I end up heading towards Karen State in eastern Myanmar? I was completely disoriented.

"Which camp did you escape from? Get in the car now!" a thug with an AK shouted fiercely. The man next to me was paralyzed with fear, unable to move, staring at the thug with hopeless eyes.

"Move, you idiot!" The thug smashed the man's head with his gun and kicked him. The other two men were already subdued, unable to resist. They were likely escapees like me, caught in the chaos at the camp.

Watching their brutality, my rage boiled over.

"Die!" I stabbed the thug in the neck when he wasn't looking.

He stared at me in disbelief, clutching his bleeding neck, gasping for air before collapsing. The other thugs froze for two seconds, then started firing at me.

"Rat-a-tat-tat" Bullets whizzed past, and I hit the ground, grabbing the AK and rolling down the slope.

"Damn it, don't let him get away! Split up and surround him," the leader ordered, starting the engines to chase me. The three captives were left behind, forgotten.