All Along

The beauty of the petals from the flowers fall onto me as I walked the bumpy pavement. I can feel the roughness of the cement beneath my shoes. It was just a short walk from the university to my dorm, but it felt like forever until I reached the gates of the place I now temporarily call my home.

This peculiar place I really can't get used to. The city life is nothing like I envisioned back then. I thought it was lively, and it most certainly won't bore me. Or perhaps it was never the city's problem, maybe it was mine all along.

The problems I borne from the very beginning of my lifetime is now where I am succumbing into. The dark shadow that once showed itself as a ray of hope for me in the near future. And yet, the future I foresaw is here and I am living in it already. The promised hope was long gone; the once bottomless well has reached its end.

I never would have thought that I might weakened. Hell, I never thought I will ever! And yet here I am, living through my own demons and depression. How is it that everyone I see live their lives as easy as for I... I am hopeless.

Countless dawns have shed its light onto the windows of my own sanity and none of which I ever acknowledged. For the only thing I can see is darkness as if I have never opebed my eyes. "Why, oh why? Have someone foresaken me?" I cried out loud. I don't have the answer either; maybe it was God, or perhaps the devil. Or maybe it was me all along.