I shielded my ears on the truth as I know it would hurt;
and yet I willingly listen to a lie.
I tell people I don't really believe in God;
and yet I shout His name whenever I feel like the world is coming down on me.
I say I love myself no matter what;
and yet I change for someone who will never love me back.
I say I'm not okay;
and yet I deny the help that I need.
I say don't mind criticism;
and yet I get mad if someone points out where I went wrong.
I say I like walking and feeling the warmth of the sun on my face;
and yet I like it better if it's dark and quiet where I can just sit and contemplate life.
There are many things that contradict the things I say. And the worse part is it was also me who contradicts it. I subconsciously oppose my own belief and morale that it was hard for me to tell who I really am.
I am a stranger in my own home; I am a shadow of my own reflection.