Confrontation

Felicia looked scornfully at her traitorous brother who was kneeling five meters away from her. How ironic! I was forced onto my knees right before my execution and now he is here kneeling before me. Does he think this will stir my sympathy? Fool!

"Stand up scoundrel and look me in the eyes!" She barked at him.

Alex did as she instructed. If she asked him to cut off his own fingers he would do so. There was no way he could think of to atone for his sins. There was no physical pain that would be greater than the agony eating him up from the inside out.

"What are you doing here, I wonder? Does this mean you've died as well? Or did the Goddess bring you here so I could kill you myself? That doesn't seem like her, given how hard she was trying to convince me not to stomp on all of you!" She cackled, even as tears streamed down her face. She did not know why she was crying for him. She hated him so much and yet, seeing him now caused her aching heart to take control of her emotions.

Alex, seeing her tears yearned to rush over and console her. He did not wish to see her tears anymore. She had cried so much in her life. She had shed too many tears for one person. And he was one of the instigators. He wanted to pull her into his embrace and tell her how very sorry he was, but he knew he did not have any right to do that. Moreover, she may go crazy on him.

Felicia was broken in both mind and spirit by all she had endured. She could get animalistic at the slightest provocation from him.

He had seen her battles with insanity while she had been trapped here after her death. He had witnessed her exchange with the Goddess. He had heard her thoughts as she was burning. He had seen her life through her eyes.

The knowledge was overwhelming!

The Goddess had enlightened him. He felt like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. He felt as if he had been struck by lightning. He still could not believe what the truth was. He could not comprehend how he had so foolish and naive. It could have all been prevented. He blamed his father for setting a bad example and he blamed himself for not being man enough to think for himself.

There was really no way by which he or the Duke could have saved Duchess Moniqua from being killed, but everything that came after did not have to happen. They could have saved Felicia if not for their pride, bitterness and arrogance.

But we were both so certain. We were convinced that Felicia was evil. A curse on the family. We became nothing more than mindless puppets for those two demonesses to play with. 

I called that woman mother. I called that girl sister. And the entire time they were.....

Alex felt the urge to weep. 

But it was too late for regrets now. All he could do was try to atone for his crimes. The Goddess had given him a chance. A chance he did not deserve. But one he would not take for granted. No more mistakes could be made from here on.

"Yes, I am dead. And yes, the Goddess brought me here."

Felicia threw back her head and laughed some more. She couldn't stop laughing. She couldn't stop crying either. Alex's presence was wreaking havoc on her. This man was someone she had once loved with her whole heart. That made her hatred burn even hotter.

"Oh, but why are you dead? I thought with me out of the way for good, you and the other four miscreants would live happily ever after? What went wrong, Alex?" Her tone grew sardonic. "Was there another disaster that struck the Del Montague household? Well, you can't blame me for that one. I wasn't there!"

Felicia grabbed her hair and gave a hard pull as memories of all the unfair blame caused her madness to rise. She had to inflict some kind of physical pain upon herself in order to keep her mind from slipping completely.

Strange, really. Even in spiritual form, I can get hurt the normal way. 

She dragged her nails across her forearm and watched the blood seep out. 

This doesn't hurt as much as it should. My heart hurts more. Nothing can overcome it.

"Felicia! Please, do not hurt yourself! I know you are in pain, but please do not----"

"Shut up!" Felicia shrieked. "How dare you tell me to not to hurt myself after all the damage you did! How shameless can you be! You dare speak to me about my pain?!" 

Her eyes began to pour out bloody tears causing Alex to gasp. Seven days after Felicia's execution, the statue of Goddess Kartara had shed bloody tears. It was unheard of and the church could not explain it. Had Felicia's innate magic caused that? Or had the Goddess wept because her Saintess had been executed as a witch?

"I know the truth, Felicia. I know everything you were made to endure. I was wrong. We all got it wrong. I am more sorry than I can ever express with words." Alex's voice was hoarse with pain.

"Shut up!" Felicia closed her eyes and covered both ears. She did not want to hear this. She did not want to feel the vulnerability his voice, words and expression evoked. He was a monster! There are nothing more to it.

"You think apologizing to me now means anything?! The damage is done! It cannot be undone!" Felicia thumped her chest. "There is nothing that can free me from my torment! I am always hurting! Even in death! I haven't stopped hurting since our mother died!" She clenched her teeth and dug her nails into her chest.

"I know you will not accept my apology. I cannot forgive myself. Still, I need you to know that I am deeply ashamed and disgusted with myself. Everything fell apart after mother died and it did not have to. Father and I are to blame. Tyren and Helena are to blame. Constantine, Liam, the Pope, the emperor, all of us are the ones at fault. You've done nothing wrong, Felicia. You are the only one innocent in all this." Alex's body shook from the weight of his grief. 

"And I do not hold it against you for killing me. I completely deserved it."

"I have yet to kill you, bastard!" 

"You killed me with a death curse, Felicia. All of the Saintesses who came before you possessed this power, but you're the only one who used it."

None of the others were ever subjected to abuse the way she was.

"You cursed me on your deathbed....and it hit me square in the chest."