Avoiding Reality

I can't sleep anymore, my dream is still haunting me.

I toss and turn, trying to shake off the vivid images that linger in my mind.

I get out of bed, walking over to my phone to distract myself. As I unplug the charger, I place it on the table and take my phone back to bed with me.

But I still can't sleep, my mind racing with thoughts of him and what he did in my dream. Every time I think about it, my hormones surge, and I feel a flutter in my chest.

I'm wide awake now, my senses heightened, and my thoughts consumed by the dream.

I turn on my phone, scrolling through TikTok videos with the volume barely audible, the soft glow of the screen illuminating my face.

It's already 2:15 AM, and we'll be leaving this place in just a few hours.

Despite my sleep eluding me, I know I need to rest or I'll be sporting panda eyes tomorrow.

I set my phone aside on the bedside table and lie back, staring up at the ceiling with wide, wakeful eyes. If I close them, I'll only open them again, it's sleep that will finally grant me closure.

"Amanda, get up, get up!" I slowly open my eyes, still feeling drowsy and disoriented.

My eyelids feel heavy, as if weighted down by anchors. "Am I dreaming this time?" I mumble.

"What are you talking about, get up already! We have to go now," my mom responds.

I sit up, rubbing my eyes, still feeling groggy.

"Can't we go some other time?" I plead, but my mom is already prepared and eager to leave.

"Get up, get up, so we can catch an early bus," she urges, her deodorant wafting into my nostrils and jolting me awake.

I toss off the blanket and stand up, my legs feeling like lead.

"Geez, it didn't feel like I slept at all," I complain, grabbing my toiletries and towel from the couch.

As I walk, I try to shake off the sleepiness, but my eyes still feel heavy. I bump into a wall,

"ouch!" The pain shocks me awake, and my eyes snap open, pulling me out of my haziness.

I walk into the corner and step into the bathroom, gazing at my reflection in the mirror.

I hang my towel on the iron rack and place my soap and sponge on the sink, clutching my toothbrush and paste.

I begin getting ready, rinsing my toothbrush before applying the toothpaste and staring at myself in the mirror as I brush.

Suddenly, my brain reminds me of my dream... we kissed! My heart races, and I pause, staring at myself in the mirror.

How will I face him? I can't possibly do that. I hope we leave quickly, without him seeing us at all.

I spit out the toothpaste, rinse with water, and examine my teeth in the mirror. Perfectly white, but my dream still lingers in my mind. is it possible to brush if off my mind, just like I did with my teeth?.

"Ah," I sigh, my voice echoing through the bathroom as I put away my toothbrush.

I begin undressing, carefully moving my clothes away from the bathing area then turning on the shower, allowing the warmth of the water to envelope me.

I open the case containing my body sponge and soap, taking them out and applying the soap to the sponge. I rub it slowly all over my body, the minty freshness seeping into my skin and refreshing me.

My eyes glaze over as my mind drifts back to the dream, leaving the present moment behind.

"Amanda!"

"Amanda!" I flinch, my hand continuing its movement around my body. Someone has been calling me.

"Y-yes!" I respond, my voice echoing loudly. I hope no one heard me.

"Aren't you done yet?"

"Almost, almost," I reply, lowering my voice this time.

I hasten my bath, moving the sponge faster around my body until I'm fully scrubbed.

I set the sponge aside and turn on the shower to rinse off the soap. Right now, my exam is the only thing that matters. But every time I think of him, my heart races.

I dry myself, staring at my reflection in the mirror, then wrapping the towel around me and stepping out of the corner and into the bedroom, holding my worn clothes.

My mom's impatient gaze greets me, her eyes narrowed slightly as she checks her watch. "Wear your clothes, be quick," she says.

I quickly slip into my clothes, trying to shake off the lingering thoughts of the boy from my dream. But his face lingers in my mind, making my heart race.

"I'm ready," I tell my mom, who's finishing up a call on her phone. She nods and turns to me, her expression softening slightly. "Take your bag, let's go now."

I grab my bag and double check that I have all my belongings with me, then follow my mom out of the room.

She locks the door behind us as we stand in the big bright hall.

She then turns to me with a questioning look. "Should we let them know we've left?"

My eyes widen in alarm, and I shake my head quickly. "No no, I'm sure they don't mind. Let's just go." My voice is barely above a whisper, and I glance around nervously, hoping no one has overheard us.

My mom raises an eyebrow, "It won't be right if we just go without letting them know," she says, adjusting the bag on the floor properly.

"You can go if you want, I'll wait for you."

"Why's that?, Is there something you're running away from?"

I fold my arms across my chest, my brows furrowed in frustration. "I'm not running from anything."

"Then come on, let's go," she says.

"No, I'll wait for you here."

"Okay then, just wait here," she said, then walk towards one of the doors, room two, the boy's room!

I pull out my phone from my pocket, noticing it has 97% battery life. I think I'll use this as a distraction while my mom talks to him.

I turn to face the stairs, hearing her knock on the door. Oh no!, My heart races as I hear the door opening.

My grip on my phone tightens as I feel a surge of nervousness. I hear him greet my mom with a cheerful "Oh hey, good morning!"

"Good morning to you too, how was your night?" She asks.

"Was good, but a little hot." He replies.

I think I might be eavesdropping on their conversation.

I turn on my phone and start scrolling randomly, clicking on any app to distract myself.

Just then, a message alert pings, a text from my sister.

"Are you guys close now?" she asks.

I click on the message, and it takes me straight to WhatsApp. I quickly type back, "Not left yet, but soon."

"Okay," she texts back.

As I scroll through my WhatsApp, I still see some of my ex-classmates' numbers, including the group we joined back in high school.

I've always wanted to leave that group, but my sister advised me to stay, saying "who knows?" And that's what I did. I stayed until now, and some of them still message me, about two or three, but the rest, I don't have their numbers, and I don't care.

I've moved on with my life, I don't need friends to be happy. You come into my life, you're free to leave if you want, my desire for friendship is far gone, and I've learned to live alone, not caring about what the world thinks of me, I think.

"Let's go," I hear someone say from behind. It's my mom.

I notice a change in the scent of the air, it smells so nice and comfortable, so sweet and lovely, like I could smell it all day.

I turn to face her, and heavens, she's right behind me with the boy next to her, what the hell!

I quickly turn around, pretending to pick up the big bag from the floor, it was indeed heavy, how did my parents manage to carry this?!

"Okay, let's go," I begin walking down the stairs, struggling to put the bag in place as I carry it.

I know they're following me from behind because I can feel and hear their footsteps. But I'm slow and unable to carry the bag anymore, so I stop and turn to my mom, who's by my right, and the boy next to her, my heart skips a beat.

"It's heavy," I say, intentionally avoiding his gaze, even though I can feel it on me.

My eyes are only on my mom, but I can see from my side eye that he's holding his phone in hand.

"I thought you could carry it, why did you take it in the first place?" She asks.

"Uhm, j-just wanted to s-see if I could pick it up," I say, feeling my eyes grow hot, my voice shaky.

"Okay, fine," she says.

Phew! I use all my strength to lift the bag and hand it to her. But unknown to me, I miss a step and fall backwards.

"Ah!" I scream, but to my surprise, I'm not hurt.

Someone catches me, and I feel his hands around my waist, just like in my dream.

My eyes widen, and my heart races faster as his gaze bores into me, reminding me of my dream.

He looks stunning, like a hot boy magazine cover!

I instantly pull away, running down the stairs to avoid him, and adjusting my bag properly until I reach the ground.

I turn around and see them approaching, walking slowly and closer until they reach me.

I turn to face the other side, holding my phone tighter then switching it on, pretending to reply to some messages, but I'm just messaging myself on WhatsApp.

"I'll return the keys," my mom says, walking away. But what about him? Isn't he going to return his key too? Why is my dream so determined to become a reality? Why?!

He's behind me, and I feel really weird. I'll just ignore his presence. What if he talks to me? What if he asks me why I'm avoiding him? What if, what if...

"Is something wrong?" I hear him ask. It's probably not me, yes, it isn't, phew!

"Hey Amanda, I'm talking to you. What's up?"

How does he know my name? My eyes widen, and my heart skips a beat. He must have overheard my mom calling me, it's no big deal.

"What's wrong?'

He's standing right in front of me, his expression a bit confused.

I can't look at him anymore, why is he so attractive, and why did I dream about him last night?! Ahhhh! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"You okay?" he asks.

I look up at him, feeling my eyes growing hot and my heart racing. Where's my mom? Why is she taking so long to get here?!

"I'm back, let's go now," I hear my mom say from behind, relief washing over me. Thank goodness!

I instantly turn to face her. "Yeah, let's go, or we'll be late."

I start walking towards the main gate, nobody is around, as it's still early morning. I'm glad I escaped his question. We're just strangers, so why does he want to talk to me? He shouldn't care if I ignore him, right?

I step out, and there are few vehicles passing by, each one blowing wind as it passes.

I place my phone in my pocket, then hold onto my bag straps tightly, facing the road and waiting for my mom and him to catch up.

They finally arrive behind me. "Where do we go next?" I turn to my mom, asking despite my racing heart.

She has her brows furrowed, staring at me weirdly, like what did I do? I think I know. She probably noticed my behavior so far.

"We'll go take a bus, follow me," she says, beginning to walk to the left side, with me hastily following from behind.

The boy catches up beside me, and my eyes keep darting around my mom's back, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Hey," he says, and my eyes widen instantly, my heart racing faster, hurting my chest.

I turn to face him, feeling a vibrational flow throughout my entire body.

He is single-shouldering his bag, the other hand casually slipped into his pocket.

I quickly look away, walking next to my mom, my eyes fixed on the sandy ground as we continue walking.

My mom shoots me a confused glance, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

As we approach the buses, the drivers call out their destinations.

"Owerri!"

"Owerri!"

"Onitsha!"

My mom quickens her pace, urging me to walk faster. "We have to get in before the bus gets full," she says, her voice sounding urgent.

I follow closely, my eyes darting around, aware of the boy still behind me.

We reach the buses, and my mom calls out to one of the drivers, a tall, chubby man wearing a white top and black shorts.

"Oga ayin," (sir) she calls,

"Ehen?" (Yes?) The man responds, pulling out his phone and glancing at her.

"Owerri, ayi na ga owerri. Ewe bus e di almost full?" (Owerri, we're going to owerri. Is there a bus that's almost filled up?) she asks.

He pockets his phone, wipes his sweat with a brown handkerchief, and shouts,

"Chibuzo! Chibuzo!"

"Chere," (wait) the driver tells my mom.

A man steps forward, average height, dressed in a native attire.

"Chibuzo, bia!" ( Chibuzo, come!)

"Gini?" ( What?) The chibuzo asks.

"Owerri, bia buru," (owerri, take them along) the driver responds.

"Owerri?, oya, kai ga" (Owerri?, Come on, let's go) chibuzo says to us, walking away with his arms stretched behind him to us.

We follow, my mom leading, the boy still behind me, his presence making my heart race.