The Puppy Effect

I rest against the car, feeling the hardness of the metal against my backside with Avin still cradled in my arms.

My gaze is fixed on the open gate, eagerly waiting for my mom to walk in with Daniel.

I still need to apologize to Daniel; I mean, I'll admit I was kind of rude - no, I was downright rude. I said things I shouldn't have, and now I feel a weight of guilt in my chest.

"Haaa," I sigh, shaking my head in disappointment.

I lift Avin up to the sky, and he gazes back at me with pure innocence in his eyes.

The sun is obscured by dark grey clouds, casting a gloomy shadow over my surroundings, and I suspect it might rain, given the chilly wind penetrating my skin.

"Oh Avin, I said something I shouldn't have to the cage boy, and now I feel terrible. Do you think I'm wrong?"

Avin doesn't respond, but his teddy bear eyes lock onto mine.

I let out a chuckle and start raising him up and down in my hands, gazing at his adorable face.

"You're a cute puppy!" I exclaim, my voice filled with delight.

Just then, a loud "Brgggtxxx!" echoes from the gate, making my heart race with fear.

I instinctively turn to see who's there, but no one has entered the compound. I only hear gentle voices - my mom and the cage boy.

"It can't pass through, I'll go get the gate key," my mom says.

"Okay, ma'am, no problem," the cage boy replies.

The sound of slippers scraping against the ground grows louder, and I know my mom is approaching.

Her figure appears, and a warm smile spreads across her face - one that reminds me of someone.

Those light brown Asian eyes, his gentle, thick voice, and his delightful smile send my heart racing.

My smile remains despite knowing he's with someone else. I think they're both lucky to have each other in their lives, but the thought of not being the one with him feels like a stab in the heart.

The thought makes my smile fade, but then I manage to put another one on as I stare at Avin.

I give him a gentle, warm hug, and his softness against my chest is like a balm to my soul.

As Nonso once said, Avin can indeed make me feel better. Whenever I think of Kendrick, I'll simply hug Avin - if he doesn't bite me, that is!

"Amanda," I suddenly hear my mom calling.

I disengage from my hug with Avin and lift my head to meet my mom's warm gaze.

I anticipate her disappointment regarding my behavior towards the cage boy, but instead, she greets me with a smile, as if nothing had transpired.

I reciprocate her smile, feeling a sense of relief knowing I won't be judged for my actions.

"Yes, mom," I respond after the prolonged silence.

"It's nothing, dear. I saw you standing there hugging Avin and assumed you had gone inside."

"Oh no, I haven't, I was just... uh..."

"You want to apologize, don't you?"

My eyes widen in surprise, but the gusty wind from the incoming rain rushes in, carrying stinging dirt that prompts me to squint them shut instead.

"What makes you think I'd want to apologize?" I inquire.

She folds her arms across her chest and raises an eyebrow, as if she can read my mind.

I frown at her, "What?" I ask, shielding Avin from the gusty wind that blows my dress and caresses my skin.

She tucks a stray strand of her hair before responding, "I'm your mom, and I know you really well."

My frown deepens, knowing she's right. I always feel guilty after doing something wrong, and I always want to apologize.

My mom steps closer and places a warm hand on my shoulder, her touch a gentle weight against my shoulder.

"I understand that you can be annoyed by an unknown presence that you sense is dangerous, but you shouldn't treat someone the same way you don't want others to treat you."

My gaze remains on the floor, feeling the weight of my actions bearing down on me.

"Just because he didn't react to your statement doesn't mean he wasn't truly hurt by it."

I nod sadly, hugging Avin tightly to my chest, his warmth a shield against the cold.

"Others might not have taken your words lightly, and they might have caused you great harm, Amanda."

I raise my head sharply at the statement, my pupils staring unsteadily at her squinted eyes.

What does she mean? Could I have been beaten up or worse, even sexually assaulted?

The thought sends my heart racing, and my mom nods as if she had understood my thoughts.

I part my lips, and an 'oh' escapes from my mouth.

"I'm only warning you so this won't repeat itself," my mom says.

"You have to be careful with how you talk to people, because people have feelings, too, just like you do."

Her words echo in my mind, replaying nonstop, and my eyes drift to past events.

People have feelings? Really?

But why was I left alone all through my six years in high school?

If people truly had feelings, wouldn't they have thought about how I would feel when I was left alone?

Why was I left alone?

Why didn't I have friends? Why was I made fun of, and had to sit during break periods all by myself?

Why did people always find a way to leave my presence? Why?

Suddenly, I feel a warmth around me, pulling me back to the present.

I sink my head into my mom's shoulder, inhaling the elegant lotion on her warm, tender skin.

"If you want to apologize, then you should let him know you're sorry," she says, her voice like the peaceful atmosphere after rain.

She strokes my head, each touch a gentle massage on my scalp.

"I would, Mom, I would," I say gently.

She pulls away, "That's good," she says, then shifts her gaze to Avin in my arms.

"You'll be living in your cage soon, Avin," she says with a smile.

"I'm tired of stepping on your poos."

We chuckle at her statement, but our laughter is cut short by Daniel's voice calling out from the gate, his deep tones carrying across the compound.

We turn to see him standing by the gate, a grin spreading across his face.

I feel a flicker of surprise, my brows furrowing slightly. But then I remember what my mom said, and I take a deep breath, feeling the cold air fill my nostrils. The scent of wet dust fills my lungs, and I can hear the distant chirping of birds.

"Sorry, dear, I'll get the key now," my mom says to him with a smile, her voice warm and friendly.

"Okay, ma'am, I'll be waiting," Daniel responds, his gaze flicking between me and my mom.

But suddenly, a harsh wind sweeps by, blowing our dresses in every direction, accompanied by dirt from the ground.

Poor Avin, whimpering in my arms, nuzzles his head into my chest at the sudden rush, and I hold him closer to comfort him.

The environment darkens, and the sky crackles with white lightning, signaling a heavy downpour.

"Uhm, ma'am, I think you need to hurry; I have to get home on time," Daniel yells from the gate.

"Okay, dear, I'll be right back," my mom yells back, quickly rushing into the house as the wind sweeps open her clothes.

Avin whimpers again, and I hold him up to see his teddy bear-like eyes.

Aww, he still has that innocent look in his eyes. It's going to be his first rainy day in our house!

"You don't need to cry, Avin; I'll stay close to you throughout the entire fall, okay?"

He doesn't respond, but I nuzzle his belly with my nose, feeling the warmth.

Suddenly, I hear and feel the ticklish warm breath of someone on my neck, making me jump in fear.

"Ahh!"

My eyes narrow in anger as I see it's Daniel.

"How did you-"

"I walked here, obviously," he interrupts, earning a scowl from me.

"Or do you suppose I have superpowers?" He says with a chuckle, his actions making me raise an annoyed brow.

"So, his name is Avin?" He asks, and I slowly nod.

Although my mom wants me to be nice, I'm still finding it hard to like this guy, especially after the way he was banging on our gate earlier.

He suddenly snaps his fingers in my face again, the loud snap bringing me back to reality and causing me to blink rapidly.

"You still there, right?" He says, waving his hand at my face, creating a gentle breeze that sinks into my skin with each wave.

"Can I hold him?" He asks, his eyes fixed on Avin.

"Huh?!" I exclaim, frowning.

"I said, can I hold him?" He asks again, as if I didn't hear him the first time.

I hold Avin tighter to my chest, but his sudden whimper makes me release my grip a little, realizing I was holding him too tight.

"He's a really cute pup," Daniel says, "I also have one at home, a full-grown German Shepherd."

I jerk my head backward, "So?" I reply, not interested.

He chuckles again, the intensity of his laughter making me wonder if he's normal.

"Well, can I at least hold him?" He asks, his eyes still fixed on Avin.

I glance at him suspiciously, wondering if I should let Daniel hold Avin.

What if Avin gets used to his scent and becomes his favorite? No, that can't happen.

"I'm sorry, but I-"

"I knew you were going to refuse," he interrupts, "I just love puppies a lot, and the one in your arms is so cute. Can't I just hold him for today?"

His words send my mind racing, and I start to reason with him.

I still don't want Avin to be held by him, but since he says he loves puppies, and I do too, maybe I'll let him hold Avin for just 30 seconds.

I take a deep breath, my gaze still suspicious.

"Fine," I say, and his smile instantly changes into a grin, making my heart pound slightly faster.

I tear my gaze away and shift it down to Avin, my pupils unstable above his head. What was that?

"So, can I hold him now?" he asks.

"Uh...," I stretch Avin out gently to Daniel, my gaze still nervously fixed on Avin.

But my heart begins pounding faster with wide-open eyes as I feel the warmth of Daniel's palm beneath mine.

I quickly glance up at him, surprisingly with no frown, just wide eyes, and the intensity of his face makes me pull my hand away gently, protecting Avin.

I watch with a distracted smile as he raises Avin up and down in the air and nuzzles his nose in Avin's stomach.

"Your pup is so cute, I want to buy him from you," Daniel says, even as he continues raising Avin up and down. But my upper lip twitches at his words, and I clench my fists.

"You said you just wanted to hold him, why are you asking to keep him now?!" I yell, and my outburst is accompanied by a pink lightning bolt that illuminates our surroundings, making me look around in fear, shock, and surprise.

"It's going to be a heavy rain," Daniel says, his words pulling my gaze back to him. He's still holding Avin, and his gaze is fixed on me.

"I was just kidding when I said that about buying your pup; he's just too cute."

"Uhm, yeah, he is," I reply, watching as Daniel raises Avin up in the air again, eliciting gentle pants from the pup.

"You're a really cute boy, and I'd love to spend more time with you, but I need to head home because of the incoming rain."

As Daniel continues to speak sweetly to Avin, I remember that I still owe him an apology for my earlier outburst. But how do I start?

I part my lips with a soft click, my gaze fixed intensely on Daniel, who doesn't seem to notice.

"Uhm," I begin, but Daniel's sudden attention to me and his slow lowering of his arms pause me, my heart racing.

"What's the problem, Mandy?" he asks, his eyes locked on mine.

"Uhm... I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I was totally out of line, and I feel terrible about it. Can you please forgive me?"

As I await his reply, my eyes burn from the intensity of his gaze. His serious expression is devoid of any smile, but a glint in his eye seems piercing.

I tense up, anticipating his response. But then, his face suddenly cracks open, and a smile erupts, taking me by surprise.

My shoulders slump down in relief, and I exhale a sigh I didn't know I was holding.

"I told you earlier, it's fine. I get that a lot. No big deal," he says with a genuine smile that leaves me agog.

I blink rapidly, trying to process how someone can be so nonchalant about taunts.

"You think a lot, don't you?" he asks, his words snapping me out of my reverie.

I let out a chuckle, my hand flying to cover my mouth as if to contain the sound. But it's too late; the chuckle has already escaped, and it's transforming into a full-blown laugh.

"Was I that funny?" I hear him ask, but I can't respond; my laughter has taken over.

I'm not even sure why I find it so funny, but I do, and now I can't stop. I can't help it; the tension and anxiety of the moment before are released in a joyful burst.

My body shakes uncontrollably, and I stumble backward, losing control of my stamina.

As I stumble backward, my balance precarious, a firm grip around my waist suddenly anchors me in place.

My eyes remain wide as I lock gazes with the intense brown eyes staring back at me, their warmth enveloping me like a shield against the cold. The air seems to vibrate with an otherworldly connection, as if we're lost in our own private universe.

My hands instinctively grasp the soft fabric of his jacket, holding on as if it's a lifeline.

But as the moment stretches on, my mind begins to wander back to the familiarity of this scenario.

Kendrick's face flashes before my eyes, and I'm torn between the past and the present. Can I truly move on and leave Kendrick in the past, or will the memories of our time together continue to haunt me?