Chapter 127: To the Healer

Azandra POV

Their pups were all asleep beside them, and Azandra couldn't be happier. With the eventful feast and the death of Hades, she felt a need for normalcy and puppy piles.

She didn't know what to think about Hades' death, just that she'd expected relief when he met his end. Maybe it was because of being a healer, but she felt a sense of loss. Maybe lost and wasted potential. Hades had been gifted, no denying it. He'd just chosen to use those talents for his own selfish goals.

She cuddled with Kyon and thought how incredibly lucky they were. 

Even though she and Kyon had just settled in bed with their arms around each other, Azandra leaped to respond to the frantic knock on the bedroom door. Ignoring Kyon's throaty groan, she opened the door to see Jude and Ravyn standing stiffly before her.

"I thought you might have trouble sleeping after going to the nightmare realm," she said with her characteristic bluntness.

Ironically, it was Jude's nightmare and Ravyn's that launched them on this odyssey weeks ago. They both looked flushed, and she could smell mating on them. Oh no. Did they have another misunderstanding in the bedroom?

"Jude said something concerning," Ravyn began.

Jude glared at her. "I have no idea what I said in the throes of ecstasy."

"Then let me refresh your memory. You said, quote, 'I have a wolf again, and I have you. What more could I want?'"

From Jude's gobsmacked expression, he didn't know what she was talking about.

"You must have heard me wrong." He clasped her hand, not letting go when Azandra hustled him to the crystal healing bed to examine him and center him.

Ravyn snorted. "I know what I heard, and I was almost floating away at the time."

Azandra believed Ravyn. She didn't make up wild tales.

"Jude? Can you explain this?"

She wished she had Kelara Blackthorn with her. Even Azandra's wolf senses and future wise woman insight didn't compare to Kelara's insight. She might have to bend Kelara's ear.

Jude ran his hands over the crystalline material. "It's so soothing, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes, but please, focus," Azandra said with a note of urgency. "You didn't become wolfless when Hades controlled you. We all saw you change recently."

Shrugging, Jude smelled confused. "Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe I meant metaphorically. These last three years, I felt like my wolf spirit was caged. How else do you explain my not listening to Arcturus about the mate sense, when I've always believed in fated mates?"

Azandra knew that grief could make people behave in ways they never conceived of. 

"Extreme stress can mute our connections to our wolves," she acknowledged. "Maybe in bonding with Ravyn, you restored that link. Maybe that's what you meant. Have you felt more … wolfy since bonding with her?"

"Yes," Ravyn and Jude chorused.

Azandra could smell and sense it on Jude. The loss of Emer had, indeed, caged his wolf. Losing a mate was one of the worst things a shifter could experience. A fate worse than death. 

"This makes sense," she mused. "A mate is part of who you are. You become one. When Emer died, it was as if a part of you was ripped away. Many shifters don't survive the loss of a mate. That you did, and had the will to seek another one, shows how strong you are."

Jude smiled gratefully. "I walked through my castle and held meetings and went about my business for three years, but I did it all by rote. I wasn't really present. Now, food tastes better, my wolf form feels vibrant, and I'm alive again." He gripped Ravyn's hand. "In a way, it feels like that first shift. Everything old is new again."

Azandra howled in soft approval. "I think you're fine, Jude. This celebration tonight wasn't just a huge affair for our pack–it also reintroduced you into shifter society, if that makes sense. Every wolf knows that losing a mate makes you go into mourning. But as an Alpha, you couldn't just lock yourself away."

Jude's eyes glittered brown and golden like fall colors. "No. But I didn't exactly live life or lead with the gusto I used to. I was a smiling face, a growling wolf, and whatever else I needed to be for my pack and my children. Now … I'm me again."

Ravyn patted his arm. "I doubt your pack complained. They saw you as the strong leader you've always been, and admired you for your courage in the face of such sorrow."

He nuzzled her gently. "You always know just what to say. You could charm an Abyssal Flame Thorn Warrior into backing off."

"My, my. High praise. They're not known for being friendly."

Azandra suppressed a smile, seeing Jude so affectionate and loving with Ravyn. He sniffed her gently, breathing in her scent. "If there's nothing else, you two seem fine."

Ravyn coughed. "Jude did have a headache earlier …"

He waved a hand dismissively. "It's gone."

Azandra examined him, feeling his head. "I'm not surprised you experienced a bit of pain after everything Jiro described. Dark forces always take a toll, and wolves are sensitive to them. In addition, travel in the Celestial Plane isn't for the faint of heart. I can give you an herbal tonic to prevent any more headaches."

She handed Jude a vial and had him drink it all, then passed one to Ravyn. "You didn't feel the headache through the bond?"

Ravyn shook her head. "No. Is that unusual?"

"No. The bond allows you both to feel most things that the other experiences, but not everything, otherwise you'd be wrecked. You all had enough of that with your ordeal when Dane was bound with silver and Hades enslaved you."

Shuddering, Ravyn shut out the memory. "But the headache is gone?"

Jude grinned wolfishly. "Couldn't you tell?"

Honestly, the two of them! They were embarrassing, even by shifter standards. Still, she couldn't keep the smile off her face.

Ravyn cleared her throat. "There is something else …"

* * * * *

Jude POV

Jude raised an eyebrow, wondering if Ravyn had questions about being a wolf.

Ravyn stared green-eyed Azandra in the face. "I wonder if I'm pregnant."

Azandra didn't even blink. "It's possible. I've read about witches. They can give birth even at a hundred years old, or even two hundred."

Ravyn held her gaze steadily. "Will you test for sure?"

Azandra nodded. "First thing in the morning would be ideal, but it's late enough that I can measure your hormones."

She directed Ravyn to give a urine sample, and then dipped a rod specially treated to pick up pregnancy hormones. Ravyn dipped the rod in the liquid and stepped back to wait.

"It takes ten minutes," Azandra said. "Make yourselves comfortable. And, Ravyn, if you have any questions about being a wolf, let me know."

"Will I have an increased appetite?" Ravyn asked.

"Oh yes. You'll eat far more than you used to."

Jude could see that Ravyn's mind whirled with the possibilities. "Ah … does sparring encourage mating?"

Azandra grinned impishly. "Oh yes."

Ravyn peppered her with questions while Jude held Ravyn's hand.

If she was pregnant, how would Lilia, Bram, and Mali react? Lilia might accept a little sibling the same age as the baby she currently carried. 

He found himself thinking of Bram and Mali and their childhood. He always wished he and Emer could have had more children …

Moon Goddess, please, let Ravyn be pregnant."

Ten minutes passed slowly, and Azandra finally pulled the rod out of the liquid, then held it up. Two rings had formed around it.

Grinning, Azandra said, "Congratulations, Ravyn. You've got a pup in your belly."