Ch. 27: Guilt Ridden

Clouds began to cover the sky overhead as I leaned against an oak tree. Evening was falling.The clear stream bubbled lazily a stone's throw away as Illesior gazed at me through slitted blue eyes. He sat cross-legged, his long black mane falling down his shoulders like a cascading black waterfall.

"I'm feeling generous today, Albino," He murmured after a moment. "You said you wanted a favor done for you. Ask it."

My heart jumped in my throat. This was it! I could ask him if I could leave the city to help Maceren.

And yet… I felt uneasy. Maceren seemed well-meaning, but even then I didn't know who he was.

"Illesior, earlier I met someone who wanted to make me his acquaintance," I began. "Do you know anything about an aetyr by the name of… Maceren… Arrakhan?"

Illesior's eyes widened. "...Maceren… I do not recognize that name personally, but what I do know is Arrakhan."

"Arrakhan?" I leaned forward, curious and apprehensive. "What's special about that?"

To my surprise, Illesior narrowed his eyes and growled deep in his throat. "There is a Baron by that name who lives in the west, a Black Mane called Dorai'Kur. He's notorious for keeping White Manes as slaves, despite recent abolishment in the past years. Rumor has it that he experiments on them with different forms of Spectre magic, but the Darkdawn family hasn't gone into his history due to his help with fending off Kadmus. We send him White Mane prisoners annually as a manner of tribute in exchange for sending excess magic back to us. Nobody knows what happens to them, and it seems that nobody seems to care." He shook his head slowly. "A dreadful fate, but who am I to say anything? My father was close friends with him in the years leading up to his rule, and during that time he granted him immense power. One would say that Aetyria is a single country bound under the rule of the Darkdawn family, but now I don't believe it. If anything, we rule the East, while the Arrakhan family rules the West."

But then he leaned in close, his breath stirring my eyelashes. "Aven, dove, how did you meet an Arrakhan? Here in The Capital? They look down on your kind, and for that I fear for you."

I caught my breath. "Illesior, I was fine. Maceren showed no disdain towards me- rather, he was very polite. He asked me to help him, and that's why I came to talk to you."

Illesior relaxed slightly, backing up to give me space. "...What did he ask?"

"He wants me to take Arius once he's released from prison and go with him to find an individual named Meredith."

Illesior blinked, and I saw his fur spike up briefly. "...Meredith? I don't know anyone by that name. But yet I can't help but feel like it rings a bell… it reminds me of someone. Aredith, yes, that's it."

"Who's Aredith?" I asked.

"I'm not sure." He replied. "All I know is that someone named Aredith used to live here in The Capital. But enough about that." He narrowed his eyes. "...Why does he want your… your brother? The little gray rat who dared hurt my dove?"

"Maybe to take him to Dorai'Kur," I said half-jokingly. Immediately Illesior laughed. "HA! Yes, very wonderful. In that case, yes, he can go. Good riddance, I say." Then he stopped when he saw my morose expression, and his face softened. "...I apologize, my dear. But you must understand that I absolutely cannot stand your brother. The pain he caused you is unforgivable."

"Are you considering it?" I asked timidly.

"What? Forgiving him? Because that is out of the question."

"No! No, I understand that much." I fidgeted with my jacket nervously. "I'm asking about going with Maceren. He said that in return for my obedience, he was going to tell me about the art of a Mage."

Illesior was quiet for a moment. Then he hummed thoughtfully. "Hm. The art of a Mage… that is a bold request. Not many Mages still remain in Aetyria. You must understand that, on top of being incredibly difficult to attain mastery, those who practice the art are vulnerable to the possession of the supernatural."

"I'm not looking to learn it," I assured the Prince. "I just want to know more about it, is all. Can I go?"

"Hold on." Illesior murmured. "Is it only you and your brother going with this 'Maceren' fellow? Because I can't allow that, you know. You and him are not permitted to be alone together until he has proved himself to be reformed."

My heart sank, and I was about to reply when he added, "But that doesn't mean I'm keeping you here. You just need someone who you and I both trust to come and protect you- assuming that the Arrakhan will accept it."

I stared at him, a grin crossing my face. "Really? Who do you suggest, then?"

He laughed. "Who do you think? None other than the ones who joined us on our quest to the West, of course! Kirune, Sophi, Zerhea and your dear friend Strubin." He reached out to push a strand of hair from my face, his touch soft and tender. "Is this what you want, my dear?" He asked gently.

"It's not what I want." I stood to my feet, standing a little taller and feeling resolute. "It's what I need to do." "You always were brave, little one." The Prince rose to his feet, taking my hand. "It is one of your many shining virtues. It draws me in like a moth to a flame."

"Oh, stop." I muttered, blushing bashfully. I turned and looked to the sky once again. The blue was beginning to turn soft purple, signaling the approach of dusk. Illesior followed my gaze and smirked. "Night already, hm? They say night is the time for happy couples," He purred, licking his lips. Immediately I backed away.

"Enough fooling around." I said. "Listen. I don't know my way around here, and you do. I need to head back to the Palace and tell Vrotaz that I found you."

Illesior chuckled. "Ah, did the old windbag want you to find me? And to think you came out here of your own accord. There's no need to lie to me, little one. I am forgiving."

"What? No. Vrotaz told me where you were. I need to tell him that… oh, never mind." I adjusted my satchel and glanced at Illesior expectantly. "Which way is south, again?"

Illesior pointed. "That way."

"Thanks." I began walking before he stopped me. "Where are you going?"

I stared at him. "Home?"

Illesior laughed again. "You can't walk all the way back to The Capital! Your little feet would get so sore, and we can't have that."

I blushed again. "But I walked here."

"Hence why I have a noble steed." Illesior whistled and suddenly a Tauxer came bounding up to us. Its pale fur rippled in the dull sunlight, and its antlers glimmered gold and green. The Prince stepped aside and bowed. "After you."

I tentatively climbed onto the creature's back, and after I had gotten myself settled Illesior swung up onto it in front of me. The Prince leaned back and murmured, "Hold on tight," before promptly kicking his heels together. Suddenly we were off.

The world around us became a blur as the noble beast raced through the woods, and soon we were approaching a steep incline, rising above the treeline.

I clutched Illesior's waist tightly, my mane whipping my face due to the fierce wind. "Illesior!" I called. "Shouldn't we slow down?"

"Nonsense!" The Prince laughed. "Let yourself go, my dear! We'll have the time of our lives!"

Suddenly to my horror the Tauxer raced to a tall precipice, its smooth cloven hooves pattering daintily as it scaled the rock. It had no intention of stopping. Neither did Illesior.

My head spun as I saw that we were going to go straight over the edge, which looked over the vast valley. Not far beyond the trees was the North gate, an entrance to the city.

"Illesior!" I screamed. "Stop! We're going to fall!"

Illesior chuckled. "Hold on to me! Watch and learn."

The Tauxer leaped into the air, and for a moment my heart stopped, leaping into my throat. We were in the air, and for a moment I thought we were going to fall to our deaths.

But then the beast gave a bellow and shook its head hard, and then a bright light shot out of both shoulders. Before we hit the ground below, it soared, up, up, into the air, leaving the precipice behind.

I yelped and clutched Illesior tightly. Somehow the battle with Maelstrom made me forget about the dizzying height while I was fighting her on magic wings, but the contrast from then to now was stark. Perhaps the fall I had when Arius tried to kill me that day gave me a new fear of heights. Either way, I felt like I was going to die.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Illesior crowed. "Feel the wind in your lungs, in your mane! Feel our absolute freedom, while we glide on noble wings! Is it not the most beautiful thing, Albino?"

"LET ME DOWN!" I screamed. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

"In all senses of the word, my dear!" Illesior laughed. "Now- hold on to me! I won't let you fall."

The Tauxer flapped its shimmering wings and ascended ever so higher, prompting me to shut my eyes tight. "Don't look down, don't look down," I mumbled to myself. "Oh, gods, don't look down, don't look down…!"

I briefly opened my eyes and saw that we were barreling at full speed towards the palace. We had flown over the city at what felt like light speed, and the hooves of the Tauxer barely passed the top of the palace gates.

"LAND!" The Prince called. Instantly the beast descended and hit the ground- hard.

I nearly tumbled off, but Illesior caught me, whipping around and holding out his arms for me to fall into. He chuckled, and when I looked up at him, I saw that his eyes were twinkling with merriment. It was the happiest I had seen him in a long time.

"Now! How was that?" He poked my nose gently. "Truly wonderful, was it not?"

"I'm going to be sick," I mumbled. I clutched my stomach and pushed myself away from him, then tumbled off the Tauxer. I tried to walk towards the palace entrance, but before I made it a few yards I suddenly felt very dizzy.

My vision became spotted, and before I knew what was happening I fell to the ground.

Dimly I could hear Illesior yelp in surprise. "Albino!"

I heard feet patter towards me, and then the Prince yelled again. "YOU! I need help!"

I wearily opened my eyes and looked up to find Illesior crouched down beside me. He picked me up gingerly and held me against his shoulder while he glared at another aetyr, a gruff Black Mane with a stocky build and dusky brown fur. "Aren't you the Head of the Guard? Why aren't those two helping?!" The Prince spat.

I followed his gaze and saw that he was motioning to two aetyrim who I recognized with a shock. It was the same ones who had mocked me earlier: Reika and Karei.

Meanwhile the Head of the Guard shrugged. "Your Highness, I apologize. But to me, it seems that the Albino is merely winded." As Illesior glared at him, he added softly, "I don't think she is in grave danger. Just take her inside and let her rest."

Illesior growled deep in his throat but nodded, and as we turned I felt an uneasy strength flushing back into my limbs. "I…Illesior…" I panted.

"Hush, now," He murmured. "I'll find you a healer. You didn't sting yourself on anything while we were in the forest, did you?"

"No, but Illesior-"

Suddenly I was cut off when I saw the two aetyrim scampering towards us. "Prince Illesior! Prince Illesior!" Reika called. "Someone's here! Someone's here!"

Illesior snorted. "I have enough on my plate, White Mane," He spat at her. "Leave me be! I have no time for this."

"But Prince Illesior-" Karei cut in, "There's someone who wants to see you."

The Head of the Guard sighed. "Tell them no! The Prince isn't available at the moment." He waved his hand at the Prince. "Illesior, head inside. I'll take care of this."

The Prince nodded briskly and ushered me inside, where we were met by a golden glow and sparkling lights.

"Vrotaz!" Illesior called. "Where are you? Find a healer, STAT!"

His tall, stern advisor appeared, and the violet aetyr's eyes widened. "My lord, what is this?"

"She's hurt," Illesior said shortly, gripping my shoulder. "I need a healer immediately." When Vrotaz hesitated, the Prince growled. "Have you no ears? GO!"

"I beg your pardon, Prince," Vrotaz replied slowly, "But she isn't hurt. If anything, she just needs to lie down."

Illesior shook his head, muttering, and froze briefly when his advisor suddenly reached out his hand to me.

"Aven." He said with unusual kindness. "Come sit down."

I nodded weakly and took his hand, stumbling slightly when I pushed myself away from Illesior. But Vrotaz remained steady, and when I had adjusted to the lack of weight, he led me to a soft couch.

"Lay down." He ordered. "Rest. Let me know when you feel well again."

I nodded and leaned back, sinking into the soft cushions. The velvet soothed my fur, and soon my heart rate slowed.

I closed my eyes and took long, deep breaths to calm myself. After a moment I heard Vrotaz and Illesior walking away, and they began to speak in low voices. I think they were whispering to each other, but with my large ears I could hear everything they said.

"Your Highness, with all due respect… What were you thinking?" The stern advisor growled. "The Bookkeeper was never like this before. What did you do to her?"

Illesior paused briefly before answering him. "...I'm thinking that she stung herself on a-"

"-She did NOT sting herself, and you know it!" Vrotaz interrupted. "No, you were reckless, that's what happened. I heard about your argument with her yesterday, you know. You understand that she's been through so much within the past quarter moon- going on a quest, nearly getting killed, going through her brother's trial- and yet all you do is push her needs away and think for yourself." When Illesior snorted derisively, Vrotaz growled. "You've gotten both too soft and too rough with White Manes. There's a perfect balance put in place for us by our ancestors, and you're ruining it." I heard him step closer to the Prince as he added in a low voice, "You may think you're better than your lost brothers or father, more progressive and understanding, but you still have a lot of maturing to do. There's hardly any difference between you now and you when your father died."

Illesior snarled. "You have NO RIGHT to say that to your Master. Keep that up, and I might just yet depose you."

Vrotaz let out a small huff of resignation, sounding indignant yet somewhat defeated. "...Illesior, I was the one who raised you. I was your mentor. I was your nurse when your first one died. I've been closer to you than any aetyr in the royal family has ever been, and yet… This is how you repay me?"

Illesior stepped away. "...You were never family," He murmured. "I have nothing to repay."

Vrotaz was silent. As he stood there, Illesior added under his breath, "And you have nothing to say to me, nothing you can do. I am my own Prince. I am my own King."

Vrotaz only sighed. "I hope you'll come to realize what truly matters, my Lord," He said. "In time. Perhaps you're not too far gone from salvation. Maybe you'll understand your place in the course of Aetyria's history. Maybe not. But who am I to say anything?"

"You'll keep your mouth shut if you value your life," Illesior growled. "Say one thing to my mother about any of this, and you're good as dead."

Vrotaz only nodded simply. "As you wish."