Break your legs and cripple your drinking

I carefully peeked out of the hatch, which was surrounded and hidden by several bushes.

It was dark outside, with only a half-moon pouring light on the world. Then I turned around and froze, seeing dozens of lights in the Tao clan's camp.

Most of them were from their fire pits and torches. The secret tunnel led me less than a hundred meters away from the line of their defenses.

I swallowed nervously. How good was the Qi vision of a Qi Condensation cultivator? Will they be able to spot my Qi at this distance?

Qi was almost impossible to hide, after all. If you wanted to sneak up on someone, you could only stay out of their field of vision. It was both a good and a bad thing.

Well, if I couldn't see any of the cultivators nearby, this likely meant they couldn't see me, either. I and Chang Dong must've been northeast of the Thousand Swallows city—I will have to ask him for more details later.

I was about to head back into the tunnel when I heard two pairs of footsteps approaching from the side, maybe twenty meters away. Still far, but much closer than a hundred meters!

I swore internally. It didn't matter whether the two people were sentries or just people on a late night walk. At this distance, any scream will be heard by the enemy and the entire tunnel will be discovered.

"Well, Master Ru? Do you see her?" Chang Dong said in a whisper as loud as his normal voice.

I jolted and almost fell off the ladder.

What in the flying fuck of the Divine Dragon this man was doing?!

The footsteps stopped.

"What was this? Yu, did you hear that?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck. These two were only mortals—I could kill them easily, but dead or even disappeared soldiers are a reason for the enemy army to start being suspicious and check under every bush.

And then the tunnel will be found, it will all be my fault, and even if we bring it down so the enemy couldn't enter, Lin Deng will have more ammunition against me.

'Think quickly, Ru Yujin!'

My senses sharpened to the extreme. The time seemed to slow. Through the cover of bushes, I saw a glint of moonlight on the metal armor of the enemy soldiers. I heard the rustling of their clothes with each movement. I heard the breathing of a scared critter hiding under a bush near me…

Quick as a flash, I picked a pebble from the ground and threw it near the rabbit. The animal let out a scared noise and broke into a run away from me.

"Gah! Look there, Yu!"

"Calm down, that was just a rabbit."

"Oh. Phew! Although, I wouldn't mind some rabbit stew…"

"Shut up. You only ever think about food, and it makes me hungry, too! Let's go, the patrol is far from over."

"Yeah, yeah. This is so pointless… You don't really think that the Lin clan will send a spy into our back lines?"

"Who knows? Accursed demon worshipers and their dirty tricks! I have a hard time sleeping after hearing about what their summoned spirits did to our horsemen..."

As the soldiers moved farther and farther away, I slowly and extremely carefully returned to the tunnel, closing the masked trapdoor behind me.

Then I lunged at Chang Dong, grabbing him by his collar and bringing his face to mine. The oil lantern fell from his hand, but I caught it before it reached the ground.

I held the flame close to his face.

"What the fuck you were doing, Chang Dong?!" I hiss-whispered. "Were you going to sing a song, too, so every Tao soldier definitely heard you?"

The merchant grew so pale that he was almost green.

"P-please, Master Ru! I didn't think! The wine clouded my mind… I regret, I regret everything! I will apologize trice and break my legs, as long as you forgive me, Master Ru. But please, please, let me go!" he pleaded in a whisper.

Yeah, he was regretting things alright—probably starting from showing me this tunnel. I huffed and shook him a little more.

"Forgive you? If we were noticed, you'd have to plead forgiveness with Master Lin Chu! I bet he would just kill you on the spot for the trouble, Chang Dong. I swear—"

Chang Dong retched. I barely had time to let him go before he threw out on the floor and his robe.

So he wasn't green from fear, he was just nauseous from the wine… I winced and rubbed my forehead, feeling a creeping headache.

"You can break your legs after we leave, Chang Dong. I'm not carrying you back there."

I marched down the tunnel. Chang Dong stood up and hurried after me. He was grimacing in disgust and wiping himself with a sleeve as much as he could.

"Th-thank you, Master Ru. Truly! But I plead, tell me—did you see her? Tao Song? Did you sneak a peek at her, at least? Maybe she could've been taking a night bath in a nearby lake…"

I choked on my saliva and coughed. Maybe even blood.

"There weren't any lakes, you lecherous idiot! D-damn it, thanks to you I have these images in my head… Now I will be dreaming about Tao Song bathing! All that smooth skin hidden only by golden hair… Ugh. I thought I was better. I thought I had more brain in my head. She will just kill me…"

"Men are animals that are moved by their lust, Master Ru," Chang Dong said sagely. "Men pay whores to satisfy their lust, but women need to give dowry to men, or no one will marry them! Because wives are the worst at satisfying anything. Especially lusts."

"I changed my mind, Uncle. When we get out, I will break your legs myself. But don't worry, I will find a doctor to make sure they heal right. We are friends, after all."

"If you say so, Master Ru! Ah… Could I drink more wine before you break my legs, though?"

I stopped so sharply that Chang Dong almost bumped into my back. I swiveled to meet his eyes with a glare.

"No alcohol until they heal."

"Wha—"

"Not a single drop."

"Master Ru, please have mercy. Just kill me, then!"

"No, my friend. You will live and suffer!"

Ah, the miserable look Chang Dong had put a smile on my face, despite everything. Served him right for his recklessness!

Maybe he will even learn today's lesson and live until he becomes gray-haired and wrinkled like a raisin.

One could hope.