The Lie of Love

I have what I call phylosophy. There are things I think and believe that no one else does. We'll they at least don't seem to.  Maybe, I'm going about this thing all wrong. The things I know are simple truths. Many people won't admit.

Hope is something people speak about. It doesn't exist. Hope is just another allusion that people confince themselves is true. This dislusion is promoted by a religion. Christianity is what I'm talking about. Other religions are very similar to this one. So it could be true in this regard. I wish that hope did exist. We'll it does for those who have faith. Faith is strong because you can confince yourself anything to hold onto it.

There are many things I don't believe in. One of those things is a hope in humanity. Though that is not what this is all about. We can go into this at another time. Let's get right down to the point now. The point is I don't believe in love.

Love can be true to it's purpose, for the most part anyway. Love of like a married couple isn't in my cards. Family effection and friends having that deep connection. That I believe in. For I can see that, even with all the lies and corruption in this place. Friends and family turn on one another so quickly. You can just look at my history to see the proof. Anyone's really it's so common and ovas. With all of this betrayal it's hard to believe that it could be true for that. Dispute people's bad habits of betrayal.

In my experience there are few people who are real. Few to love and can love. Many don't choose to and it's sad. I would say disappointing, but then I would haven't expected it. Behaviors such as these are too common that thier predicted. Seen from miles around the world. Since they happen more than every mile. Especially anymore, it's just so sad. Nothing left after people destroy everything.

Beloved are what I want to call those who I love. How can someone like me love? It's cause I was loved. Wish for romantic love to happen is only a wish. For now. Through the years I have loved romantically once. X was someone I loved. What I loved was thier personality. If my love turned out to be another lie it wouldn't matter. At the end of the day I know that it's the closets I've been to in love. Letting myself love. I said"You make me want to learn how to love." We'll it was a nice thought. Maybe what I did wasn't exactly that. Oh well, nothing left to worry about. First love over gone. I know it would've never worked because I..... To many things really. What I usually put there is wasn't attracted or in love with thier body.

Right now I've been fusing and crying about how I will never have love. You can be in love, but to have love. There's a difference and the heart knows it. Maybe love isn't for me. As the songs tell and what I believe I've can help me. Knowing and having someone just for me. No one gets to know for sure if someone will love you. To care for you and want you. Not for you to change, someone who knows best for you. Not cause they're your parents or supposed to. No they actually know you. So for when you wander off and get confused. Your beloved can show you what you are.

Lies I have known my whole life. I have never known all the truth. What makes something a truth or a lie? Just like the definition of love to lust. Lust is all about passion and getting what you want. Both involve both those things. Thing is love is supposed to be more and make sacrifices. No matter the cost even of your own happiness. All so they can be happy, most of the time without you. Happiness is not what you can always get. When in love you can make mistakes. For those you love to happy you might do crazy things. The wrong thing all cause you didn't know, but thought. You thought you knew how to make them happy. Making it so they aren't.

For me I don't see how anyone can really love me. Even if they did I don't think I would let them in. Since they can love me, I push them away. It's something I do to all I hold dear. Precious friends that are my family. I get to scared to let people in. Hurt to many times. I hope as want them to be able to be pushed away and come back. Everyone has been pushed back by me. How there here is they stayed. Even when I didn't want them to.

Love is for suckers. So I hope they stick around enough that we both know it. We would be suckers in love. Doesn't sound bad, now does it? I'm deeply disierd, a word abused, the one who doesn't give up, no mater what.

What am I? The answer is love. One day I can experience the kind I dream of.