Complicated Emotions

My eyes slowly open as I wake up in a haze, naked under the red bedsheet. The whole room emits a lewd scent that sends flashes of yesterday's night all around my head making me blush slightly. Looking around, I easily notice that Sophia seems to be missing.

She must have woken up long ago, she is not like me after all.

After a quick analysis of my surroundings, I let my head fall on a soft pillow again with a distant gaze.

I feel a little dazzled... I can hardly remember the last time a dream came to me in my slumber however this is feeling exactly like one, actually the whole thing after the kiss feels just... unreal to me. It was so good, enough to make me forget that im in a dangerous room that could kill me if the ceiling had even the smallest of flaws, thankfully im alive.

I proceed to lie on my side gently caressing the bed.

The way we just rolled around this very bed almost all night and now im lying on it feels somewhat thrilling. It was so wild too, I never thought about Sophia this way but yesterday in bed she was different, more spontaneous. Unsure of how I should feel about it.

While im drifting in thoughts, the door slowly opens revealing Sophia who enters on the tip of her toes. She is wearing a gray linen dress slightly big for her size complementing her toned skin. After closing the door, she turned around to see me looking at her wide awake lying on my side, she sighed disappointed now that her efforts not to disturb my sleep were useless.

She comes to me and crouches on the floor at the edge of the bed.

"Good evening, im disturbing thy sleep?" Sophia says calmly in a low voice

"No no, I was... lying around for a bit"

An awkward silence reigns in the room. Ashamed, we avoid each other's gaze.

Im not sure how im supposed to react, until yesterday we were good friends but now I do not even know what to say in her presence... it all happened so fast. Are we still friends? or something else? various doubts invade my mind in an unending loop but if I fail to address this matter now, im afraid I shall lose my friend.

After some time to summon my courage, my shy speech breaks the silence.

"Yesterday... it was perfect and hmm"

Without giving me time to finish, a big smile appears on Sophia's face and she suddenly begins to crawl into the bed, she approaches with a cheerful smile and lies on her side alongside me, with her face only a few inches away from mine. With an apprehensive motion, she grabs my hand speaking with a joyful tone but in a low voice almost whispering.

"Im glad, anxiety was starting to get the best of me... I found it perfect too and... I- I" Shyness makes her tumble upon her words

Knowing exactly what she was about to say, I entwined our fingers gently to show agreement.

We finally lock eyes for the first time freezing for a moment while caressing each other hands and soon we carefully lean for a kiss. Our lips connect, and her grip on my hand gets harder as we kiss implying her current rising arousal. Our bodies get closer and closer until my naked body begins to rub against the fabric of her dress and I feel her quick heartbeats echo on my skin.

*Knock Knock*

"My lady, I brought thy drink and a guardsman wishes to speak in thy presence, he awaits in the meeting room" Laudine states

We pull back from our kiss, both with a mischievous smile and a subtle string of saliva connecting our lips. Sophia then whispers with a light tone.

"I answer it, put on some clothes while im at it"

A sigh escapes my mouth while my expression turns into disappointment.

"A moment Laudine!" I cheerless say

Before parting ways, I bestow one last gentle kiss upon Sophia's lips and she soon rises arranging both her messy dress and hair to answer the door. I too rise but go to the oposite side of the room, toward the wardrobe which is overgrown with various types of clothing made for the former lord and his wife. 

Laudine usually handles my clothing but a change of pace for once might do well.

I open the wardrobe calmly taking a look at the hanging dresses while Sophia puts my drink on the table, a goblet full to the brim with blood from a foolish man who lies at this moment in a cell, as cattle should. 

While trying to pick a dress, I felt Sophia's arms wrapping themselves around my waist and her lips softly pressing against my neck repeatedly alongside her gentle breath blowing against my skin. The gesture brings a sudden timidity which comes alongside a blush.

This... well, it wasn't so awkward when we were in bed but now it feels odd. How should I respond to this? Sex and pleasure are one thing but... im not very used to this type of thing.

"Anything would look amazing on thee" Whispers Sophia lewdly

Well, to be fair there is not much one could pick here, it is all linen dresses with a few extra details and a different color. The wife probably took all the good ones alongside any expensive jewelry she had.

I pull out a black dress with long sleeves resulting in Sophia loosening her grip around my waist in order to let me change. She then proceeded to sit down in an armchair making no effort to hide her stares at my naked body.

This is getting uncomfortable... very uncomfortable.

After putting my dress under the awkward silence reigning in the room, I try to reach for my goblet which rests on the table at Sophia's side using my right hand however she boldly grabs my left wrist and leans with her eyes closed waiting for a kiss.

I stared at her hesitantly for a moment but my inner lust took the best of my 

After a light kiss, with our faces still close and her grip around my wrist, she whispers flirtatiously.

"What about coming back after finishing what thou have to do? Continue from where we left hmm?"

"... Sure" I answer apprehensively

She gently let go of my wrist and I quickly grabbed my goblet, leaving the room. Outside, a sigh escapes my mouth as I walk the hallway with reddish cheeks.

By Lucifer... Sophia was truly the last person in this world I would ever imagine speaking to me like that and it feels very awkward, something simply feels wrong. We were close friends until yesterday and well, given how we met I never expected to fall into Sophia's graces, actually just becoming friends with her was surprising to me. It took a while for her to be able to lower her guard around me though. Thinking from this angle, there were some uncommon events when I was staying at Revgnir's however I just brushed them off as something irrelevant at the time. I did suspect her purposely spying on me that first night but it was beyond me to discover why she would do that... seems like I know now. But why is she being so bold? it is making me somewhat uncomfortable.

Sigh... why am I like this? She is the normal one here, im not making any sense. Feels like every time we are not kissing or having sex, I become unable to interact properly with her. Merde, my thoughts shall be the death of me if it continues like this.

For now, I should concentrate on other matters.

Arriving shortly at the meeting room, I open the creaking door to see a lone guardsman sitting in a chair waiting for my arrival. Upon my entrance, the man quickly stood up to show respect with an uneasy expression.

"Speak guardsman, im guessing by thy expression it is bad news, am I correct?" I say audaciously

"Indeed my lady, Fyn patrol got attacked by unknown people, and... they all went missing" Says the guard apprehensively

What the? 

With an astonished expression, I reply with a confused tone.

"Thou investigated the scene? Where did it happen?"

"No, my lady, I came directly here after taking notice of their disappearance and their last whereabouts were at the southern road" He answers respectfully

Unconsciously, a subtle smile appears on my face as I sip on some blood.

A good walk outside to clear my mind, perhaps even a little hunt? Who knows, I would do anything to escape this uneasiness im feeling toward Sophia right now. Things are moving faster than I expected and... no no, concentrate on the pressing matter.

"Well done reporting to me as quickly as possible, get thyself some food and rest for I shall further investigate this matter"

...

With a black cloak wrapped around my body obscuring my figure, I walk against the night breeze while both my hair and cloak blow in the wind. The moon rests in the sky gently bathing the world with its light. Under my cloak, I stand in the same dress now with boots to protect my feet from any infirmities the ground might offer.

Lovely night today, It reminds me of the first time I ventured into the world with nothing but naiveness and my blessing. Everything was beautiful and new, I had dreams of great adventures but as I learned more, they got shut down by reality. Well, in a way, I feel pleased with this outcome.

I have a fancy roof that brings me great comfort and my race is on its way to achieving a place in this world. More recently, my urge for sex was sated by Sophia although now I feel complicated emotions toward her, im very grateful for that. I have everything one could need, maybe more. However, I have yet to attain peace, for my work is not yet finished until my blood starts to flow through the mouths of mortals automatically.

Walking the dark road made of dust while appreciating all the beauty it has to offer, my nose picked up a familiar smell waking me up from my thoughts.

Hmm, if there is blood then it means that they most likely are not trying to escape from their duties. Good, I was concerned thinking if killing them would be best if that was the case. Hmph, one could dislike all he wants but dislike while working.

Finally arriving at the scene, I see no sign of any corpses or left-out weapons however there is some minor blood spilled on the dust and a great variety of footprints which are almost completely erased however not even the smallest of details escape my wondrous senses.

These steps... almost seem as if they are creating a cycle. They got overwhelmed by numbers and probably chose to surrender, but the question remains, who did this, and for what purpose? Hard to say, but one thing is for sure, they are close. Good thing I came myself, otherwise my guards would have been obliterated by this unknown group. After all, I only have a handful of guards, and judging by these footprints, they seem to be around twelve people or more.

Upon further analysis, a sudden shade of red unfitting for the green scenery calls my attention to the side of the road. A lonely drop of blood that fell into the grass, almost unnoticeable. Walking there with a watchful gaze, I set sight on another one slightly ahead.

A subtle smirk appears on my face as I step forward.

...

*Pow*

A kick is delivered to Fyn's rear making the man stumble, barely managing to keep on his feet.

"Go inside, scum!" A man yells authoritatively

Four guardsmen are walking in line with ropes binding their hands. They apprehensively walk toward an entrance to what seems to be an underground cave. Around them, stand various of their captors, they wear reddish robes engraved with a sole rose in the chest area carrying a variety of weapons, from pitchforks and sticks to metal swords and axes. Trapped, the guards can only obey the orders of their captors fearing death in this plain field they stand.

Hmm... I have no idea of what these people are. They wear funny-looking robes though.

I stand far away shrouded by shadows, gazing curiously as my men are forced to enter a cave.

It looks like a bunch of normal civilians to me, most are not even holding proper weapons. How did professional mercenaries lose to this? Sigh... Now I know why they are so cheap. To be fair, there are quite a lot of them, four against twelve would be hard even for proper soldiers.

That aside, I had completely no idea a group like this was hiding in my dominion. That cave seems somewhat artificial too, if I had to guess it was made by humane hands not naturally, at least not completely. This might even be a good thing, it would be dangerous to let them room around my dominion without my knowledge, mainly because they do not seem very respectable from here.

While analyzing the scene, my guardsmen disappear from my view after entering the cave alongside the majority of their captors, two of them are apparently left outside to guard the entrance and keep watch.

This should be fairly easy, at least from afar they do not appear as a threat. Actually, I might even enjoy this. It's been a while since I made a mortal take his last breath.

A malicious smile forms on my face and my nails grow into deadly claws.

I lose no time in running there at an inhuman speed making no effort to hide my presence. My aggressive approach is noticed by both who tremble at the sight of my white hair and black cloak blowing furiously against the wind. Their first instinct is to run, nothing but a feeble attempt to retreat inside the unknown cave. The duo could barely take ten steps inside before I reached them.

Fast as a spear, my arm pierced through a man's back all the way to his chest. Blood spills everywhere and the man dies without last words, just a faint shrink in pain and despair while I brutally take my arm out of his chest. The other guard, who was a few steps behind his late companion let out a scream which echoed inside the cave.

I turn around with blood covering most of my right arm turning the black sleeve of my dress red. the desperate man quickly knows better than to continue his previous trajectory toward the underground as I stand in his way alongside his fallen colleague lifeless in a pool of blood.

My body turns into a swan of bats and shortly after, im behind him with a merciless grip on his neck rendering him unable to run.

*Crack*

I broke his fragile neck like a wooden stick and without the support given by my grip on his neck, he fell to the ground like a broken toy. Now dripping with blood and with a subtle malicious smile on my face, I turn toward the stair-like passage going further into the underground.

Impressive, the people who built this place must be very skilled. How much time and effort would it take to achieve this level in a bloody cave? Curious, with all this talent I would simply prefer to build a house but what do I know?

Going down the steps, it does not take long for my ears to pick on various footsteps coming in my direction. A large amount of people are going up the stairs, carrying weapons and torches.

Without caring, I continue to go down however soon, a wall of people stands in my way barraging me with a wave of oppressive questions and orders of which I barely care enough to listen. I stand looking at them from above slowly cracking a malicious grim.

All this shouting is giving me a headache...

Morphing into a swan of bats, I dash toward the nearest man grabbing his neck with my left hand and cruelly pushing his face with my right hand.

One punch breaks most of his teeth and nose.

Two punches crack his skull and his eyes pop out.

After the third punch, there is not a single shed of his previous face left, only a completely destroyed face sinking into his own skull while his brain leaks through all the openings a head could possibly have.

The place fell silent, I could hardly hear people breathing among them. Coldly removing my grip from the disgusting corpse I created, it reaches the ground making a gruesome echo. All of them stare frightened at my figure barely illuminated by feeble lights coming from torches. A subtle drop of blood stains the corner of my mouth and I gladly clean it with my tongue.

"Who is in charge?" I ask with a cold tone

Without thinking twice, all of them open the way and at the end of the staircase, stands a lonely man dressed in the same robe as the others.

Loyalty is not exactly a must here hm?

With short black hair and an unathletic skinny figure, the faired-skinned man who looks about forty stands paralyzed with trembling legs as I descend upon him with each of my steps striking dread.

Now standing in front of him with sheer superiority in my gaze, hearing his heart beating in the rhythm of fear while he stays with his head down too scared to meet my crimson gaze.

"Explain the meaning of thy little gathering here" I say impatiently

Similar to his body, his voice trembles in fear as he answers waiting for the worst.

"W- We are a coven dedicated to the research of the dark arts"

My eyes widen in surprise and soon after, my demeanor changes from a fear-imposing one to a more light and casual posture. My casual smile seems out of place on my pale figure stained with subtle shades of blood.

"Interesting, while I can not say im a researcher myself, I do find the topic to be very amusing" I say with a light tone

Once again, silence reigns as everyone concentrates on me, scared of what comes next.

"Oh yes, where are my manners? Im Carmilla, owner of this land and it seems as if thou took four of my belongings" I say politely

Perceiving his error, the man anxiously speaks.

"Im- Im sorry, I di-"

I put my finger between my lips.

"Shhhhh"

The man flinched and fell silent again with his head low. Nonchalantly, I continue.

"I know I know, 'it is not my fault' 'I didn't know' bla bla bla I care little, however as inhabitants of my dominion all who stand here are my subjects, meaning that my word is law. Someone disagrees with this?" I state slightly loud

I looked around to see if any resistance would be made clear but as expected not a single word was spoken nor muscle was ever moved. I proceed to pass by the frightened leader's side while casually speaking.

"Good, guide me toward my subjects and we can speak in the way. As for the rest, stand here for the time being"

Knowing better than to disobey, they do as instructed.

The place is surprisingly well-kept for a cave. It has lit torches hanging on the walls, various hallways, proper chambers, furniture, books standing around, and materials of which I possess no knowledge. As I thought, these people are highly talented. 

As he nervously guided me, I took the time to ask a few questions and learn more. His name is Mercurio, leader of this coven which is named Sanguine Rose. Created by his grandfather, it once was a powerful coven but most of the knowledge got lost in a deadly assault years ago. Now, Mercurio seeks to honor the legacy of his family by leading the remnants of the once-great Sanguine Rose.

Covens work in a weird way. Almost like a big family and there is no recruiting, one is simply born inside and is not allowed to leave. They truly dedicate their hearts and souls to one cause, forgetting all about external things like love, meaning that from time to time the leader picks a woman and a man to breed. The children are raised under the teachings of the coven then the cycle repeats itself. Undoubtedly effective, at least that is what Mercurio told me. Honestly, I found this system quite creepy but seems effective.

Does not take long for us to arrive at what seemed to be a room dedicated to imprisonment, a pity because the conversation was getting interesting. I enter the room to be met by my men sitting on the cold stone floor inside a cell surrounded by nothing but a feeble light from a torch with hopeless gazes. Upon my entrance, Fyn is the first to notice my figure passing through the door and is quick to celebrate the rescue.

I approach the iron bars extending my right hand wrapped in blood to hold the lock, breaking it without much effort. My guardsmen freely celebrate while they pass through the now open door. I order them to go back to treat any wound and they gladly walk away.

Upon further analysis of these people, I concluded that they are very useful. So I end up ordering Mercurio to reallocate his people to the surroundings of my house, in other to make faster contact among other matters too.

A bunch of useful minions simply appeared in my dominion haha, what a great night. Some even know how to read, marvelous. More than that, they research an area that amuses me so I need to keep them close, of course, I agreed to provide necessary supplies and 'materials' for their research mostly people alive or dead. Every now and then some trouble markers pass through here so it can be easily arranged.

They have some specialists in construction too, incredibly useful for building houses around here. Basically, I let them live here under my protection as long as they answer my call when needed. Getting included in any major breakthrough in their research is a must too, although I didn't quite grasp the concept of this so-called dark arts. I plan to change that soon enough.

Arriving at my doorstep, I take a deep breath before reaching for the handle.

Seems like my little escape from reality finally ended... yet I continue unsure of what do to.

Opening the door, the first to greet me is Sophia who is quick to express concern as her eyes wander around the blood staining my figure. Laudine comes right after offering to prepare a bath which I accept.

Sophia asks a lot of questions, most of which I would rather not say to her so I awkwardly dodge those questions. After what seemed to be a long while of trying my best to have a proper chat with Sophia, Laudine came to notify me about my bath.

Leaving the doorstep toward the bathroom, Sophia strangely starts to follow by my side without prior warning. Although the gesture is a little unsettling, I thought nothing of it.

After a short walk, we turn left in a hallway arriving at the bathroom door which stands open showcasing a filled bathtub in the middle of the room. I step forward inside and Sophia follows suit but to her confusion, I turn around facing her with an apprehensive demeanor.

"Hmm?" Sophia confused

"I- I would prefer to go alone" I say hesitantly

Embarrassed, her eyes widen for a moment before she speaks with a bashful tone.

"I just assumed- I... sorry it is nothing, bye and hmm... good bath"

She swiftly leaves with quick steps while looking down. I stand at the door with a troubled expression while closing it.

Is it my imagination or does Sophia seem to be a little too 'forward'? By Lucifer, she is being overly bold tonight and it is not pleasant but again sigh... we had sex, and compared to that taking a bath seems trivial but strangely I still feel uncomfortable. It reminds me of when I took a bath in that barrel at Gaius' house, Marie was there but it was a matter of having no other choice.

I should just concentrate on my bath sigh...

...

Leaving the bathroom in my usual post-bath robe, I walk the hallway with a troubled expression that reflects my state of mind.

Im not even sure if I should be going there... but I did agree to see her once my work was finished. Besides, we are in dire need of an honest chat before this matter steals the rest of my energy.

Arriving at her doorstep, I freeze for a moment before hesitantly reaching for the handle. Inside, Sophia lies on her stomach with her face sinking into a pillow. Without a glance whatsoever, I walk to the bed after closing the door behind me.

Before I could open my mouth Sophia spoke, her voice slightly muffled by her pillow.

"Sleeping is allowed it seems" Sadness in her tone

On the edge of the bed, I flinch after her sudden statement.

"I- Im sorry... im not sure of what to say, could we maybe speak for a moment?" I say slightly nervously

Sophia stays silent without moving from her current position as I crawl into the bed sitting on her side with a contemplative look on my face. Freezing for a moment, my head thinks of what to say but my tongue struggles to let it out.

"Im not a harlot... and I won't tolerate this kind of treatment" She speaks in a weeping tone

"Wha? No! I never treated thee like a harlot, never!" I say anxiously

"Had thy way with me and then proceeded to treat me coldly, barely even speaking with me! Not even a harlot deserves such a thing" Sophia says frustrated

With an astonished expression, I go silent thinking about my mistake.

... By Lucifer, I did treat her like a harlot.

"I admit it, I made a mistake. Sigh... this is all new to me and the way thou changed after my rise was threatening, I didn't know what to think and-... What im trying to say is, could we just start again? perhaps a little slower?" I say with an apologetic tone

Sophia finally shows signs of acceptance by removing her face from the pillow, she looks at me with teary and swollen eyes while lying on her side. 

"Saying this earlier tonight would have saved me from a lot of pain" She mutters

Yes... it would. What a tiring night.

I too lie on my side close to her and extending my arms, I wrap them around her in a gentle hug which she accepts. As she approaches closer, I feel her breath on my neck and her skin against the soft fabric of my robe. Our legs are entwined and her swollen face rests peacefully using my arm as a pillow.

While cuddling, Sophia says apologetically in a low voice.

"Sorry for being so forceful today. We just started and I was maybe too excited"

"Maybe?" I mork

Her smiles finally return to her face as she giggles and for the rest of the night, we cuddle under the bedsheets doing nothing but having a pleasant chat until she eventually falls asleep in my arms. It does not take long for me to do the same, as the sun rises in the horizon bringing a new dawn which im unable to witness.