Chapter 6: Kahli Leveling

Kahli had resolved, after a brief glance at Froufrou, that it was finally time for her to level up. After all, the skeletal mega dragon was choking out her dad. And even if Kahli's dad was a ghost, a blue skeleton at that, she still cared for him deeply and hated to see him in pain. It was time to buckle up and figure out what the deal was with this leveling thing.

What was it he wanted me to do again? Kahli tried to remember. It was tough to remember everything at once, so she decided to think about each individual step of leveling up, as her dad had described it.

Oh, I remember the first thing he said! said Kahli with determination. The good thing to note was that, although Kahli's memory was slow to jog, it absolutely never failed her, not even once. He said that I first needed to picture a glowing orb pulsating near the face of my spine.

Kahli frowned, scrunching up the plaster on her face. Wait a second. What does that mean? What's the face of my spine? Do spines have faces?

"Froufrou, what do you think? What's the face of my spine? How do I picture that?" Kahli asked the miniature horror sitting next to her.

Froufrou made the same squelching noise they (she?) always did.

"Ah, yes, I figured that might be what you would say," said Kahli with a sigh, feeling like a fool.

"Kahli, have you leveled up yet?" groaned her father as the mega dragon tightened its claw's grip around his neck. "I don't want to die over here."

"But Dad, you're already dead! You're a ghost, and a freaking blue skeleton at that!"

"Yes, I've already died, and it fucking sucks. I wouldn't wish that shit on my worst enemy! Why do you think I'm trying to keep it from happening again?"

Kahli wanted to respond with fifty other questions, but she thought better of it. Leveling up supposedly took less time than it did to blink, whereas every second she stood here arguing with her dad about whether he could die again was a moment wasted. So, she thought hard about the next thing her dad told her to picture, completely ignoring the fact that Kahli had absolutely no idea how to picture the face of her spine.

What did he say next again... And then she remembered. Oh, I remember what he said next! Dad said that I needed to picture the orb starting at the face of my spine and then floating up, up to my legs and then exploding outwards like a supernova. Yes, that is exactly what he said, to a t. Gosh, Kahli, you sure are a smarty. Oh, thanks, me, I know.

So, Kahli prepared to picture an orb at the face of her spine traveling from there up to her legs. Which was, of course, fairly difficult.

"Wait a second, I know what it is!" Kahli said out loud. Then, she dropped to the floor of the canoe. She was going back to her days practicing gymnastics now. It's good to have something close to a [skill] if you don't have an actual [skill], she remembered her dad saying matter-of-factly. With determination and a vehement speed, Kahli pressed her hands on the floor of the canoe and pushed herself upwards. It was, on all accounts, terribly difficult as her balance was extremely lopsided due to her enormous left foot and all the wood growing around it. Yet, Kahli could still hear the mean girls on her gymnastics team jeering at her in her head. Wow, look at that foot! It's enormous! Oh wow, it's old splinter foot again! Wow, she really does just jump around with a tree trunk attached to her! How does it feel to hoist a tree trunk over your head fifty times a day? And those mocking voices in her head were all Kahli needed to spring on up with a snap.

"Kalhi! What are you doing? Why are you doing a handstand? Have you leveled up? Are you using a new [skill] or something?"

"No, I'm just trying to picture things right!"

"Kahli! It's not that big a deal! Seriously! Just please, level up already before this mega dragon kills the shit out of me!"

Kahli really wished her dad would stop swearing so much. Then, she went back to ignoring him and pictured an orb of light. Since Kahli had no idea what the face of her spine was, she picture the orb starting at her face, and flowing up to her legs and then to her feet, which was much easier for her now as she was upside down, and Kahli had never truly been characterized by anyone, including herself, as an imaginative person.

And then, it happened.

Kahli felt a jolt of energy soar out from her lower back, which confused her since she'd been picturing the orb of energy and light at her feet. Still, it was happening. She was surrounded in a poof of purple smoke as finally, Kahli leveled.

[Level up]

Awesome. Kahli was so happy to level up!

[Level up]

Wait, what? She was leveling up again?

[Level up]

Kahli just leveled up a third time?

[Level up]

Was this just going to keep happening? Seriously, what was going on?

[Level up]

Kahli sighed. She knew her dad had mentioned there might be a backlog of levels and XP, but this was really starting to feel ridiculous.

[Level up]

This was exhausting! When would she stop leveling?

[Level up]

Kahli was starting to feel like she was melting.

[Level up]

This was exhausting!

[Level up]

How was she still leveling?

[Level up]

Kahli was about to lose her balance and stop her handstand. And then, the smoke cleared.

[Congratulations, you've reached level 15]

Level 15? Wow! Kahli couldn't complain about that, it was an impressive level to hit after having just been a level 5. She'd just leveled up ten times at once!

[You have 1 skill slot available. Would you like to select a skill now?]

"Dad! It wants me to select a [skill]!" Kahli tried to yell to her father, but only then did she realize the true meaning of time essentially stopping while she was leveling. She didn't hear her own voice, and in truth could barely move. In fact, the force it would've taken to move her mouth and say those words felt like it was more force than needed to split a planet in half. So, Kahli decided that she did want to select a [skill] now.

[Excellent. The following skills are available for selection:]

[Rock Summon]

[Lucky Foot]

[Big Jump]

Kahli wasn't sure what all of these skills could do, but she wanted to learn. What had her dad said? She thought about it. Oh, dad said I need to just intuitively use my mind to focus on one. That makes enough sense... right?

And so that's what Kahli did.

[Rock Summon]

[Rock Summon allows you to, at will, manifest a large stone in your presence at any point in time. What you do with this stone, is up to you, but every time it manifests, it will be specifically magnetized to your foot, wherein that any time you kick it or throw it a long distance, it will boomerang around in due time, with an increasing speed based on how far away it is, and finally land right under your left foot.]

Kahli thought that was a pretty cool skill. She did find it a little frustrating it seemed so focused on her left foot, but it did seem to be a useful [skill]. Still, she needed to see everything else that was available, didn't she?

[Lucky Foot]

[Lucky Foot is a passive skill that constantly affects your everyday experience. Much like the 'lucky duck foot' that some people from Nomachiato like to wear on keychains and keep under their pillows, your large left foot serves as a bastion and epicentre of luck in your life. This skill ensures that just the presence of your enormous left foot makes you lucky, with a magnitude that takes into account the extremely low likelihood of you being born with a natural proclivity to developing an enormous left foot covered in the living wood.]

Kahli felt a little annoyed. Of course a luck buff was a great [skill], but why was it so fixated on her biggest insecurity? And did it really have to go into the living wood? Kahli got flashbacks to talks at school about living wood about how some people had it younger than others, and everyone developed living wood eventually regardless.

[Big Jump]

[That sure is one enormous thumper you've got on the end of your left leg! Employ this skill, and you'll be able to hop so fast and so high that nobody can catch ya! Great for evasive action and for showing off that big old foot of yours.]

There was absolutely no way Kahli was picking this [skill]. In fact, if her system seemed set on bullying her through skills, maybe it was silly to even pick out a skill at all!

And then, she looked at her dad, frozen in time, locked in the evil talons of the mega dragon. He was turning blue! Well, okay, maybe he was already blue. Kahli laughed inwardly at her own little joke to herself.

Kahli would've taken a deep breath if she hadn't been experience an extreme case of time dilaton. It was time to choose her first [skill].

[Skill selected]

[Rock Summon]

In a flash, time suddenly started again.

"You did it! You leveled up! I saw the purple smoke!" said Kahli's dad proudly.

"Yes, I sure did," said Kahli as she hopped out of her handstand and stood up with confidence. "And now I've got a [skill], too."

"Fuck yes!" Her dad smiled a toothy grin, as he had no skin. "Uh, I mean, that's great! What is it?"

"Check this out, dad!" said Kahli. She raised her left foot and concetrated. A large, gray boulder materialized out of the air. "I'm gonna rock this mega dragon's world!"