~ CASIMIR ~
I was trembling when she fell into my arms, still shaking when I picked her up and carried her to the bed so carefully, afraid she might actually shatter in my arms. When I got her there, I murmured to her to just rest and breathe. And when she sank into the bed, her head on the pillow, drawing her knees up to her chest, I just curled myself around her- around both of them, I reminded myself.
And even though everything was awful, and I was sick with the pain I'd put her through, it was such a blinding relief that she hadn't run, that she was still here and letting me touch her.
I sent a hurried prayer up to God that all these feelings weren't hurting the baby, that she could just release all this fear and tension and both of them could rest. But deep down I knew it wasn't going to be that simple.
My stomach was roiling.
I was saturated in shame.
But also in determination.