Chapter 70: Walls Shattering

Finn and I spent that night in each other's arms. I never knew a demon like him would need comfort, yet he held me while listening to my heartbeat. We avoided speaking about the baby or anything else that happened that day.

However, it was no secret that our minds were in chaos after everything. I kept Rizak in mind since I always thought he was someone to be trusted.

But what if Astred's right? Did you… or does that man called Maxwell have anything to do with this?

The succubus had returned to her territory, but I was sure she'd be back for more mayhem. In the following days, I was in a better mood than before as Finn had started to open up to me more, speaking about his past more lightly.

There was a lighter air around him, too, as if the past didn't weigh him as much.

Serah and the curse were the only things left, and with the barrier breaking down every day, the humans would have to make their move. I was finally back in my room, brushing my hair to prepare for the day while Solas was by my feet.

Since the fetus growing within me stabilized, my magic had calmed, allowing the pup to be more awake than before. Nyla was the first to hug me when my mana wasn't rampaging. She was also the first to congratulate me on my unexpected pregnancy— something Finn still struggled with.

He didn't quite believe the child within me was his, which was reasonable. The news was too fresh, and I was the first human to ever get pregnant by a demon. When Gael found out, he was baffled by the news.

"What the actual fuck? No one has had more sex than me, and I've never impregnated anyone!" He scoffed at Finn, who didn't know what to do with himself. 

No other than Nyla and Rizak appeared happy about it, while Brielle seemed to be interested but kept her distance as always. Even though my pregnancy was confirmed, there was no way to know if it was Finn's.

My memory was too hazy for him to believe me when I said no one else had held me— something I understood, but it still hurt. It would take a couple of months before they could do a paternity spell, but even then, it could harm the baby, which I rejected.

"It's fine if no one believes me. All that matters is that I know. I'll just prove you all wrong like always." I huffed, crossing my arms.

However, their doubts affected me, too. There was the time I lost consciousness back when Soren found me, but I doubted anything happened then. That man hated Finn, but he didn't appear like the man who would do anything to hurt anyone willingly.

Even though there was a time gap in my memory, I was sure this bud growing within me was Finn's. Instead of letting the conversation linger on me, I turned it on the owl, who was quick to reject the idea that the bracelet was the one that caused this.

I couldn't help but feel he wasn't saying the entire truth behind it. Either way, I could not know if my instincts were valid until the baby arrived. Luckily, Gael fed me more than I could down, making me gain a couple of pounds.

Astred pushed for my meals to be focused on my pregnancy. I had seen her talking with Nyla about what I needed in one of her visits, though Finn didn't allow her to come near me without him being there.

Thanks to that, I gained a few pounds within weeks, and that wasn't the only change. Something within me was altering with every day that passed as my hair, since the day King Ageth was dispatched, was turning silver.

No one knew if it was good or bad, but I didn't mind; I didn't feel any different other than rocking silver tips. Other than feeling faint sometimes and falling asleep in the silliest places. Finishing my hair into a tie, I turned to Finn, who lay on the bed gazing at me.

It had been a month since the revelation, which caused him never to leave my side. It almost felt like he was always guarding his nest and mate—something that made me feel jittery.

"Are you going to lay there all day? What happened to your kingly duties? I'm not unstable anymore." I crossed my arms.

He reached a hand to me, "Why don't you come join me?"

His words made my heart flutter, and I couldn't help but study those blue eyes, which became lighter with each passing day. Ever since the dungeons were cleared of their monsters, the air around the castle changed. The world around Fathal was crashing, but it was like any other day for us who already lived within the haze.

"I want to, but I know I won't get anything done if I do." I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

Before I knew it, my feet weren't on the floor anymore. Instead, I was in his arms, holding me like a princess.

"And what's more important than spending time with me?" he playfully smirked, leaning into me.

A giggle left my lips when I tapped on his nose, triggering him to frown.

"Let me take a quick guess. Is saving everyone important? The barrier has lasted this long, but who knows how long until Traedan retaliates." I pouted, feeling at home in his arms.

Even though there were doubts surrounding my pregnancy, he didn't blame me for anything. Hearing my response caused him to roll his eyes before pressing his forehead against mine. We didn't go past cuddling or kissing for the past few weeks.

It was mainly because he was scared of pushing me past the limit if he held me, which made me realize he cared more than he said.

Astred's words stuck to you like superglue.

The nesting behavior kept happening to me—a behavior that females with vast amounts of mana would do whenever their mate's scent surrounded them. This meant most of the time, I would find myself cuddling into him, basking in his warmth even before I realized what I was doing.

Finn's mother did it a lot when she was pregnant with them, or at least that was what Rizak had told him when he was younger. She always held it fondly as her husband made her feel special while she did it—something Finn did for me without even having to be asked.

Every time I shimmered, I would receive a flurry of kisses threatening to drown me. I never minded his affection, especially when I was left wanting more. Instead of letting me go, he placed me on my bed, making me frown.

"Why are you being difficult?" I huffed.

Yet my words didn't match my actions as I held onto his shirt tightly.

"Hush, I'm going to let you go, but first, I need to tell you something." He started, kneeling in front of me.

"Did something change? Is Traedan trying to contact you?" I questioned.

He shook his head. "No, don't guess. Just listen, okay? This is difficult for me, and I don't know if I will even say it right."

"Hm?" I tilted my head.

A small gasp felt me when I felt him place his hand on my abdomen. At that moment, I froze as the conversation we had been avoiding was…

"I've been thinking a lot about this. Even if it isn't mine, I—" his words were like knives to my heart.

It's yours. I know it is, but it isn't your fault for not believing it.

I bit my lip, unable to help but gaze away from him. He picked up my chin in response, guiding my sight back onto him.

"I want to raise it with you." He smiled, cupping my cheeks into his hands.

"What?" I mumbled.

A soft sigh left him. "If you're determined to have the baby. I want to raise it with you. No matter what origin it has. I promise she or he won't have anything to worry about."

I couldn't help but wince, "I don't care about material things. Finn, I want it to be loved unconditionally." My voice trembled. "I know what it is not to be wanted, hated, and unloved. I want to change that, and maybe I'll be loved."

"Sylvia, if you're having it because of wanting to be loved—" I interrupted him.

"So, what if I am? What's wrong with wanting to be loved?!" I growled, gazing at him straight on.

That was only part of why I wanted to keep it, but not the whole truth. Solas lay on the bed beside me as a soft whine left his lips, placing his head on my lap.

"I know I'm selfish and unfair. So please, don't tell me how crappy I am." I felt my voice break.

If I don't have this, then… will anyone love me unconditionally? Hah, my child's chances of loving me like that are already dim, too.

I knew how wrong this was. Yet…

I know I'm not even thinking about the baby—it's just me—but maybe I can change something and make someone happy.

"You may not believe it's yours, but it is! I want to love it as much as I love you. So, nothing is stopping me, even if I have to do it alone." I shifted my sight away again, only for him to drag it back onto him.

"Sylvia…" He sighed, touching my cheek.

I couldn't help but lean into his warmth.

I guess this conversation has to happen, but I don't want it to.

"Maybe I can give it the life I never had. I can hope as much, can't I?" I mumbled, feeling brittle.

Hah… My chest feels stuffed.

I shook my head slightly, "And maybe then I can finally have someone love me unconditionally."

Finn flinched when he heard that. His eyes squinted before grabbing me by my other cheek; I was forced to face him again.

"Sylvia, you're my everything. I want to love you. I do." He paused, leaning into me before brushing his lips against mine.

The sweet kiss was short as I tugged away, unable to stop the aches from rising within me.

"But you can't because of the curse, and that's okay. You'll never choose me. It's okay if you don't love me as long as you can love someone by the end of this." I grumbled, trying to hold the tears away.

My emotions were always hard to control. Luckily, I could keep the tears at bay, but even so, I was breaking.

"So, please, let me have your baby." My voice cracked.

He leaned his forehead against mine. "You're the only one I want to have my child. There's no one else."

I felt the tears trailing down my cheeks when I whimpered his name.

"Hush, don't cry. You're my light in all of this darkness. Please, guide me into this bright future away from all this death." His voice was brittle, too.

His eyes flickered, showing me once again the broken man Finn was. No doubt the past still weighed on him, but with the recent developments, everyone was being forced away from their safe place.

"Really?" I mumbled.

A soft, broken smile rose on his lips, wiping my cheeks of rogue tears.

"Yes, Sylvia. Please don't misunderstand. My emotions may be dulled out because of time, but I care for you. No, I'm sure this is a type of affection close to love, but I know that in a fit of rage, I can kill you." He breathed, shaking his head.

In that instant, my heart was wide open to him.

"I'll do it without a second thought, so how can I say I love you when I can end you like you were nothing to me? All without a second thought until it's too late. Tell me, how can I say that to you truly without hurting you more in the end?" He bit his lip, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Finn," I breathed, unable to believe my ears.

This demon was opening his heart to me. One misstep, and it would close forever.

"I'm still hurting you even without filling your heart with the false hope that I'll always pick you. Fuck, I won't recognize you if my rage fully consumes me. My thirst for blood will always win. No matter what I do, it will." He breathed.

So… that's what you meant. Oh, Finn…

"When you destroyed Ageth, I've been lost. For the first time since this all began, I'm feeling something I never thought I would feel again." He smiled, trailing his fingers on my ears, which made me grab his hand as it was ticklish.

"What is it?" I mumbled, feeling a clash of emotions within me.

"Hope," Finn announced, making my eyes widen when I saw the light reignite his eyes as that soft smile didn't disappear from his lips.

"That day, I felt like I was gazing at a celestial messenger from the gods. Something that hasn't happened in a long time." He confessed, making my heart flutter faster than ever before.

In an instant, I clashed my lips with his.

Is any of this real? Am I loved by you? Please… let it be real, or at least let me live the lie for a moment longer.

A gentle chuckle came from him, letting me enter his mouth. I relished his warmth as our tongues danced with one another. I didn't want the kiss to stop, but when he tugged away, I failed to follow.

He bit into his lip, gazing towards Solas, whose tail wagged. 

"I never thought I'd be rid of that man." Finn breathed, letting me lean into his chest.

His heart was in a flurry, much like mine.

"Couldn't you have just dropped him off in the human lands and let them purify him?" I mumbled, closing my eyes and basking in his warmth.

"No, for the ones caught in the curse's initial radius, only a powerful saint can purify us. Many have failed… Well, until you." He informed, sitting next to me.

Taking the opportunity, I quickly slipped my head onto his lap, where I saw him gazing down at me.

"Sylvia, you can be my death and freedom for the world." He added, making me grab onto his shirt.

Lifting myself from his lap, I faced him straight on. "No, your life is mine now." I huffed.

His eyes winced before the same soft expression replaced them.

"Now, who's the cruel one?" He sighed, grabbing onto the back of my head.

"You are!" I growled, not backing away.

"This broken man loves you, Sylvia. More than he's willing to admit." He smiled, leaning into me.

"And I you!" I declared.

"I know, but my love for you isn't unconditional." He challenged.

"I'm happy with that." I simpered.

A soft sigh left him before he gazed at me, defeated. The walls around his heart were shattering, and I couldn't help but want to hammer it all down.

Break it all apart, and make sure you're only mine.

"Do you really love me?" I mumbled, tugging on his shirt.

"Yes, I love you so much I don't know what to do with myself." He professed.

"No lies?" I simpered, leaning into him.

"No, I'd be a fool to lie to my little light." His words filled me in ways I never knew possible.

The next moment, all I felt was his lips on mine. A flurry of kisses followed, leaving me humming. I wanted nothing more than this—a warmth I had to protect.

And I will no matter what it costs.