Chapter 15
"I don't get why she keeps messaging me," Diana exclaimed upon entering through the front door. She carelessly tossed her mobile onto the marble kitchen counter, slumped against it, and let her satchel drop to the floor as she kicked off her paddock boots. "I have absolutely no interest in talking to her, and I think I've made that pretty clear."
Hannah glanced up from where she had been fiddling with her mobile on the couch. Barbara was stretched out on the ground, both legs flat against the wall in some kind of flexibility exercise.
"Chloe?" Barbara queried, turning her head to scrutinize their red-faced roommate.
"Yes, Chloe," Diana spat out. She planted her elbows on the counter before burying her face in her hands. While escorting Cellie to her dorm room, she'd received yet another annoying message from her ex:
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Chloe 21:05
Hey, Diana. I know you don't want to talk to me,
and you probably hate me, but I really need someone
to talk to right now and would love to hear your voice.
Can I call you?
And a call she had silenced in her pocket:
Missed call from Chloe Simoneau
21:08
Hannah grunted, tossing her own mobile onto the couch cushion and sitting up straight. She had changed into a t-shirt adorned with her old stable's emblem and a pair of sweatpants. Diana couldn't wait to do the same. "What does she want now?"
Diana sighed, picked up her mobile again, and wandered into the living room to throw it to the waiting redhead. She observed as Hannah unlocked the screen and scrolled through Diana's messages—password-free because she couldn't be bothered with an extra second of hassle—and read through Chloe's recent texts.
Wednesday, September 19, 2019
Chloe 19:14
I'm sorry for everything I've done.
Diana 19:21
Not interested. Goodbye, Chloe.
Chloe 19:21
Diana, please...
Chloe 19:22
Can't you just give me a chance?
Chloe 19:24
You're being ridiculous, Diana. Why won't you just let
me talk it out with you?
Diana 21:59
Please go away.
And then the latest incident came to mind. Fortunately, she had been with Cellie, who quickly diverted her attention with a clumsy, yet enthusiastic explanation of Mounted Games. Only after leaving her friend at her dorm did she have the chance to mull over the text and the relentless individual who refused to leave her alone.
"Wow," Hannah murmured, tossing the phone to Barbara so she could read it as well. Barbara caught it behind her head and held it up over her face.
"Why does she keep trying?" Barbara said, rolling over and getting to her feet to hand the phone back to Diana. "It's clear you're not interested. Like, not at all."
"You should just delete her number," Hannah suggested, flopping back onto the plush couch. She pulled her legs up slightly to make room for Diana, who gently perched on the edge of the cushion. "And you should probably just stop replying. Silence says more than words."
"I guess," Diana replied. She stared at the text chat and the notification of a missed call, letting her eyes unfocus.
"You don't… uh…" Barbara hesitated. "You don't still care for her, do you?"
"Absolutely not," Diana snapped, swiftly turning off the screen and fixing an icy glare on her roommate. "How could I possibly care for someone who behaved so awfully? If anything, I lament the time I wasted on her when I could have been doing other things. Besides, it's been eight months. Any leftover feelings from our breakup have long vanished."
"Eesh, okay," Barbara said, raising her hands defensively. "I wasn't trying to provoke you. Want me to block her for you?"
Diana hesitated, staring down at her phone before extending it towards Barbara. She couldn't bring herself to block the number herself—too many what-ifs plagued her mind, like what if something bad happened and Diana was the only one available? Silly thoughts, she knew; Chloe could find another person to lean on. "Go ahead," she said firmly.
Barbara took the device, tapped away for a couple of minutes, and handed it back. "Done," she announced. "Deleted the conversation too; now you won't have to see it."
Diana unlocked the screen to check. The last message was from Hannah: "When are u heading back from the library?" No more Chloe. A smile crept onto Diana's face. "Thank you."
"No problem." Barbara grinned back. "You did this for me when I broke up with James. Now that you're truly over her, you can move on without any distractions."
"You should honestly consider dating someone new," Hannah chimed in, twirling a lock of auburn hair around a finger. "It's been a while; you're too beautiful to stay single."
Diana shrugged, open to the idea of dating but preferring a more natural approach. She'd recently tried a dating app, but the few women she conversed with left her feeling uneasy, leading to its swift deletion. Ideally, she wanted someone close by, ambitious on their own merits (unlike Chloe, who got into Oxford through her father's connections in the French parliament), perhaps even someone with a love for horses and the physique of a Greek goddess. "Maybe," she muttered, suddenly aware of her fatigue. With a stretch, she rose and said, "Goodnight, girls."
Waving casually, she picked up her satchel from the floor and headed to her own room. Once inside, Diana closed the door behind her and let herself fall onto the bed with a sigh. She turned on her mobile once more, scrolling through messages.
No Chloe.
Just texts from Hannah, Barbara, Miss Meridien, and Aunt Daryl—who hadn't checked in for over a month—and that was it. Admittedly, loneliness gnawed at her; adjusting to life without Chloe to talk to was tough. But not enough to seek comfort from someone who had broken her heart so brutally or from someone she felt no emotional connection with simply to fill an inner emptiness.
Loneliness wasn't ideal, but it was familiar terrain for Diana. She had faced solitude long before Chloe, so returning to its cold embrace felt almost fitting for a Hitchens.