593

 [Chapter 159]

[A Rainy Day (2)]

Before the regression.

It rained that day.

At the same time, it was the day scheduled for the announcement of high school academy entrance exam results.

...I passed.

Eun-ha was notified of his acceptance to the high school academy.

After finishing school, he returned home, intending to tell his grandmother this news.

Even a little....

I'll be able to repay grandmother.

The nominal reason he applied to the player academy was to kill the monsters that murdered his family.

But digging deeper.

There was also a desire to repay his grandmother who raised him alone with her aging body when he had nowhere to go after losing his family.

Perhaps that feeling was big.

I've only caused grandmother worry until now.

Now... I should tell her she doesn't have to worry anymore.

At that time, entering the high school academy became an important meaning for Eun-ha.

It was a settlement of the past days when he closed off his emotions to people.

It would be an opportunity to live for his grandmother who loved him in place of his family.

But─.

─Shhhh

On that day when it rained heavily.

Eun-ha, who returned home, lost the meaning of life once again.

Grandmother had passed away.

"─My condolences."

"...Yes."

The memories after that were hazy.

There weren't many relatives who came to the funeral hall.

Most were people who had almost cut ties while living as grandmother took in Eun-ha.

Moreover, there were very few of grandmother's acquaintances who had kept in touch until then, and some had already passed away.

So what remained in Eun-ha's memory was only guarding the nearly empty funeral hall.

"..."

Just, blankly.

Eun-ha just stared blankly at grandmother's portrait.

What thoughts he had at that time.

Eun-ha couldn't remember.

There was only one thing that remained in his memory at that time─.

"─How can that child not cry when his grandmother passed away? Did you see earlier? The child has no childlike face and responds coldly without a soul..."

"Anyway, this is a big problem. Now that his guardian is gone, do we have to take him in and raise him...?"

"Don't say such scary things. I have absolutely no desire to bring such a child to our home."

"He's 17, so he's grown up. He's old enough to live alone now, why do we need to help him?"

"They say he entered the player academy. That's fortunate. I hear all the students there live in dormitories. But it'll cost money to live there.... He couldn't get sponsorship from a chaebol group, right?"

"The deceased had some money, didn't she? There should be insurance money left from his parents too, and there's the house..."

"Hmm.... If we take in Eun-ha, does all that money come to us?"

"Let's see.... Eun-ha will end up entering the academy anyway, and he should be able to take care of everything himself now, so child support costs shouldn't be much..."

""""..."""""

"L-let's talk about that later. Do we really have to talk about such things here? People are really heartless..."

"You can't live in this world with just compassion. Why are you saying such obvious things? Acting all noble by yourself..."

"Anyway, the child is really too gloomy. Even if I want to take good care of him, he's so gloomy I can't. It's creepy."

The whispers of those mourning grandmother's death among themselves.

They may have thought he couldn't hear, but.

He, who was blankly looking at grandmother's portrait, heard their voices particularly clearly.

So, he closed his heart's door again.

─Now I have no one on my side in this world anymore.

Thus, grandmother's passing became a great meaning to Eun-ha.

And time passed.

And going back in time.

─Shhhh

Grandmother's passing was delayed by 3 years compared to the previous life.

As the time came to enter the high school academy, Eun-ha, who had been paying attention to grandmother's health, gradually shook off his worries as time passed.

Grandmother will live for a long, long time.

Eun-ha, who had come to think that way at some point, had to experience grandmother's passing without even being mentally prepared.

I knew she would pass away someday... But it's still a bit sudden.

Though he had expected it.

When the expected future became reality, Eun-ha felt as if all his thoughts were paralyzed.

No thoughts came to mind.

Just, only─.

─Grandmother has passed away.

That's what he thought.

Eun-ha just remained blank like back then.

That day too, it rained.

☆

Grandmother passed away.

At first, the family shed tears seeing grandmother who had passed away sitting in the rocking chair as if sleeping comfortably.

But after the tears stopped, they smiled looking at grandmother.

Grandmother had a good death.

People are bound to die someday.

Grandmother had enjoyed her full lifespan and just departed to another world.

"─It's fortunate she went well. Passing away in her sleep is a good death, isn't it?"

"I'm glad she passed away peacefully. In my father's case..."

"She must have gone to a good place. So don't worry too much, everyone."

So the people who came to the funeral hall hardly shed tears.

It was the same for the family.

Sometimes, as if recalling grandmother, mother or Eun-ah would wipe away tears while greeting people.

But they soon stopped crying and calmly welcomed people.

"─You came. Welcome."

"Captain, are you really okay?"

"I called the kids. Min-ho, Eun-woo, and the others said they'll come tomorrow."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Compared to the previous life.

The funeral hall was crowded with people.

Honestly, Eun-ha was busy dealing with the mourners.

He had to converse with people he didn't even know.

During that, his friends came.

Choi Eun-hyuk, Kim Min-ji, Jin Seo-na.

The three rushed over as soon as they heard the news and gathered around Eun-ha.

"Thanks for coming. You didn't have to come like this..."

"What are you saying, Captain! Of course we should come to a place like this."

"Don't say things you don't mean."

"Yeah, that's right. Of course we should come. Don't say such things."

"...Thank you."

Choi Eun-hyuk worrying greatly.

Kim Min-ji speaking bluntly.

Jin Seo-na being considerate carefully.

Eun-ha relaxed his hardened face receiving his friends' concern.

Then Eun-ha moved his gaze beyond his friends' shoulders.

"─You came?"

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. Thanks for coming."

"Really..., are you okay? Did you sleep? Take care of yourself too..."

"It hasn't even been a day yet. But... I'll try to sleep on time."

Jung Ha-yang was standing with a worried expression.

She tightly grasped Eun-ha's hand.

"What should we do..."

"Why are you crying, Ha-yang?"

"But..."

"It was a good death. There's no need to cry."

Then Jung Ha-yang sobbing.

Eun-ha gently comforted her as her eyes reddened.

Soon she sniffled and tried to wipe her eyes.

"By the way, where's the dummy oppa?"

"That's right. Where's Pa-rang hyung?"

"He's inside now. Take care of him more than me. He's been silent since earlier."

"...Okay, I understand. I should go to Pa-rang oppa quickly. Will you stay here, Eun-ha?"

"I'll go in too when you guys go in."

Guided by Eun-ha.

The friends were led to where grandmother's portrait was.

After greeting the family members wearing black mourning clothes, the friends shed a few tears seeing grandmother's portrait.

"─Thank you... for coming."

Jin Pa-rang, who had made a deep bow, mumbled in a crawling voice.

He, who didn't suit the black mourning clothes at all, just kept looking at the floor.

Even when friends said something to him, Jin Pa-rang kept his words to a minimum.

"You guys didn't eat before coming, right? Go eat with Pa-rang and Eun-ha. And really thank you for coming."

Perhaps that sight was pitiful.

Eun-ah spoke to the friends while wiping her eyes.

The quick-witted Min-ji and Seo-na quickly grabbed Jin Pa-rang's arms and forcibly made him stand up from his seat.

"I said I don't need to eat..."

"Don't be like that, let's go, oppa. Okay?"

"You want us to eat alone? This is something where the dummy oppa has to eat together! Let's go quickly!"

"Eun-ha, you come too."

"Yeah, Captain!"

The friends tried to forcibly drag Eun-ha and Jin Pa-rang.

In the end, unable to win against the friends, they had to leave the funeral hall to eat.

Meanwhile, Avenir just sat on the floor looking up at the portrait photo.

"─Mom."

"Yes. What is it?"

"We can't see grandmother anymore now...?"

"..."

Though he didn't cry.

Avenir expressed condolences in his own way.

☆

It was late in the evening.

While friends settled in one side saying they would stay up all night together.

More friends came afterwards, and Han Seo-hyun was among them.

"─My condolences."

"...Thank you for coming."

As soon as Han Seo-hyun arrived.

Those playing hwatu in one corner jumped up in surprise.

They were father's acquaintances.

In other words, people from Sirius Group.

They showed respect to Han Seo-hyun, and she nodded her head to them and bowed to Eun-ha's family.

"Actually, unni and father wanted to come together.... But I came as a representative thinking it might become too chaotic if they came."

"No, the chairman should work. Yes, thank you for coming, Seo-hyun."

Han Seo-hyun conversed with the family members.

After finishing the conversation to some extent, she soon approached Eun-ha.

"Did you eat?"

"I ate with the kids earlier."

"Kids?"

"Friends. Ha-yang is here too."

"Ah, I see."

Han Seo-hyun asked in a gentle tone.

Eun-ha shrugged his shoulders and pointed to one corner with his chin.

She turned her head and made eye contact with Ha-yang and Eun-ha's friends.

They awkwardly bowed their heads to each other.

"Did you eat dinner?"

"I came right after work ended..."

"Let's go. You should eat something if you came."

Eun-ha took Han Seo-hyun out.

As they sat facing each other in an empty seat, staff set the table.

Then she, who started on the food─.

"─Here."

"...Didn't I say I ate?"

"You say you ate well with half your face gone."

"When did I become half..."

"Eat, a lot. You like eating, don't you?"

"I'm full..."

"I know you're not full. Eat."

"Sigh...."

Han Seo-hyun's forceful recommendation.

Eun-ha had no choice but to eat the food she gave him.

In fact, even when Eun-ha ate with his friends earlier, he barely took a few spoonfuls.

Since he had no intention of eating forcibly.

He just drank alcohol.

But Han Seo-hyun seemed to have seen through that, and forcibly put food in Eun-ha's mouth.

"But is it okay to come this late? Don't you have to go to work tomorrow too?"

It was summer vacation.

Han Seo-hyun was doing management work while helping Han Seo-yeon.

As such, she was in a busier situation during the vacation period than when attending the semester.

So Eun-ha was worried about her coming late at night and spending time.

But she─.

"─I decided to take this week off."

"Is that okay?"

"The ownership is with father, and the manager is unni, so who could possibly say anything to me? I just take a break when I want to."

"..."

"So I decided to stay here until the funeral procession is over."

"What?"

Han Seo-hyun speaking nonchalantly.

Eun-ha doubted his ears.

"You don't have to do that..."

"We're not married, but if you think about it, I'm part of your family too. Above all..., my heart wants to do this."

"..."

Saying not to feel burdened.

Han Seo-hyun told Eun-ha.

She said she even brought toiletries in preparation for staying up all night.

"Father said there's nothing good about doing in-law duties already... But I still want to do it."

"...Alright. I'll tell mom."

Han Seo-hyun's attitude was firm.

In the end, Eun-ha raised his hands.

It was natural to feel grateful to her.

"But is there a room?"

"There is one room shared by women, but... it'll be a bit cramped."

"That's fine. Is room size the problem? But are those kids over there planning to stay up all night too?"

"Oh, yes. Eun-hyuk, Min-ji, and Seo-na said they'll take turns with other kids after sending them off tomorrow, and they all decided to attend the funeral procession. Ha-yang said she'll stay like this until the funeral procession..."

In the previous life, he had guarded the funeral hall almost alone.

But in this life, there were too many people to guard the funeral hall.

Eun-ha felt so grateful hearing his friends would take turns staying up all night with him.

"Then it would be better to greet those kids.... It's not right to formally exchange greetings at a place like this, but..."

"Let's go. I'll introduce you."

"Okay, let's go."

We're staying up all night together.

But Han Seo-hyun wasn't acquainted with friends other than Eun-ha and Ha-yang.

Though they knew of each other's existence, they had never conversed until now.

So Eun-ha considerately took her to his friends.

They welcomed them without being flustered, perhaps having been looking at the two.

"─Hello."

"Unni, welcome."

"""..."'''

While Jung Ha-yang welcomed her.

Kim Min-ji, Jin Seo-na, Choi Eun-hyuk.

The three looked at each other.

Then they opened their mouths together─.

"""─Hello...."""

The three greeted awkwardly.

It rained the next day too.

When he opened his eyes to the sound of rain.

Eun-ha got up from his seat without feeling any fatigue.

Shhhh

The sound beating the dawn.

All his friends were asleep.

Eun-ha left the funeral hall quietly so as not to wake them.

He didn't particularly plan to go anywhere.

He just wanted to get some fresh air.

"...The weather is really gloomy."

Eun-ha, who had come out of the funeral hall, muttered like that.

He sat crouched on the stairs and looked up at the cloudy sky from under the roof.

"I wonder if it will rain tomorrow too..."

It shouldn't.

Eun-ha, who muttered under his breath, still wasn't thinking about anything.

He didn't like thinking.

On the other hand, one part of his chest felt strangely stuffy.

But he couldn't understand the cause of the emotions he was feeling.

"She lived 3 more years... That should be enough."

He wanted to smoke a cigarette after a long time.

He hadn't smoked once since regressing.

He didn't smoke because Eun-ah disliked it, but today he felt like he should smoke.

So he thought about buying cigarettes from the convenience store in the funeral hall.

...No.

Let's just stay.

Everything was bothersome.

Eun-ha, who was about to get up, decided to keep sitting on the stairs.

He decided to just watch the rain falling.

When on earth will this rain stop?

Come to think of it....

Even before the regression, it rained for 3 days straight after grandmother passed away.

It wasn't even the rainy season then.

Suddenly recalling the past, Eun-ha plunged right into the past.

Deeply, more deeply.

Down, further down.

He sank into the deep sea where all kinds of emotions were tangled to the point where the bottom couldn't be seen.

Thus, he forgot his emotions to protect himself.

Finally, he tried to close the door to his heart.

Just then─.

"─Oppa, what are you doing here?"

"Ah...."

A voice that suddenly pulled up Eun-ha who was sinking into the deep sea with no bottom in sight.

Eun-ha came to his senses with a start.

When he raised his head, his younger sister was already sitting next to him, smiling brightly.

"Are you up? Go sleep more."

"I couldn't sleep. So I came out to get some fresh air for a bit! What about you, oppa?"

"...I came out to get some air too."

Noh Eun-ae speaking in a bright voice.

Eun-ha gave a bitter smile after conversing with his younger sister.

"The sound of rain is so nice. Right?"

"...Is it?"

"Close your eyes and listen once. The sound is so pretty."

It seemed Eun-ae had no intention of leaving.

Eun-ha had no choice but to close his eyes at his younger sister's words as she chattered beside him.

Pitter-patter

It was a simple sound of rain.

The sound of raindrops hitting something.

Until he heard the next words.

"─Grandmother used to close her eyes and listen like this when it rained."

"..."

"She would have such a happy face when listening to the sound of rain. So I was curious and asked her once."

"...What did she say?"

"I asked why she likes the sound of rain falling. And you know what─."

What was his younger sister trying to say?

Eun-ha, who opened his eyes, asked her.

Eun-ae had her eyes closed.

She suddenly turned her head and showed him a smiling face.

Then she said.

"─She said it's good because she can put a comma. Put a comma in the life she's lived, and give herself time to reminisce about the old days or rest."

"..."

"She said people will eventually collapse from exhaustion if they keep their eyes open all the time. So sometimes you need to close both eyes and rest to create time to catch your breath."

"..."

"So she said listening to the sound of rain is good. You can rest deeply without doing anything, and the sound of rain is so pretty too."

"..."

"So oppa should rest too. You didn't eat much yesterday, and didn't sleep well either, right?"

"That's not..."

"Everyone else knows, how could I, your younger sister, not know? You don't have to lie to me like that."

Noh Eun-ae reaches out her hand.

Eun-ha stayed still.

Then she reached out her hand and stroked his head as if messing it up.

"Oppa, you live too hard. It seems like you always have your eyes open."

"..."

"Living hard isn't bad, but you should rest when it's time to rest. Oppa needs to put a comma too."

"Is... that so...?"

"Of course! How can a person live breathlessly without resting? Sometimes you need to know how to rest for a moment, look back on the path you've walked, retrace the path ahead, and recharge!"

"..."

"Now! Close your eyes again and just listen to the sound of rain now. Don't pay attention to any other sounds."

Pitter-patter

Rain falls.

Eun-ha closed his eyes.

His younger sister, who had gotten up from her seat at some point, went behind Eun-ha and hugged his neck tightly.

Eun-ha listened in that state.

Pitter-patter

Putting a comma.

At this moment, focus on the sound of rain and shake off all distracting thoughts.

The sound hitting the ground in the silence and the unique smell of rain embrace him.

Then, Eun-ae whispered in his ear.

"─It's okay to cry when you want to cry."

"..."

"Everyone else cried because grandmother passed away, but oppa hasn't cried yet."

"Really..., is it okay?"

"Of course!"

It's okay to cry.

Hearing those words, Eun-ha hesitated.

He hadn't tried to cry until now.

Afraid of revealing a weak appearance if he cried.

Afraid of collapsing if he cried.

He desperately held back his tears.

Living such a life, he almost forgot how to cry.

But Eun-ae, as if reading his mind─.

"─If you're sad, you can just cry. You don't have to hold it in. People can cry too."

"...!"

"Let's put a comma for oppa too. You can cry without holding back. I'll allow it!"

Soon Eun-ae, who had been hugging Eun-ha from behind, moved to stand in front of him.

Eun-ha, who had still been embraced by his much smaller younger sister, now reached out his hands asking her to hug him.

"It was hard holding it in all this time, right?"

His younger sister hugged him.

Eun-ha, embraced by his younger sister, gently nodded his head in her arms.

She stroked Eun-ha's head.

"It's okay to cry on a day like today. It's raining too. As if telling oppa to rest."

"Yeah..."

"I'm sure grandmother is making it rain continuously telling oppa to rest!"

"What's that..."

Nonsense.

Eun-ha chuckled.

And while embraced by his younger sister.

He closed his eyes and focused on the sound of rain.

He let go of things he had been holding one by one.

He looked back on the path he had walked.

He unraveled emotions that couldn't be put into words one by one.

Pitter-patter

Rain falls.

Eun-ae patted Eun-ha's back.

All sounds were absorbed in the sound of rain.

All emotions mixed with the raindrops and flowed somewhere.

"─It's okay. You can cry. I'll keep it a secret that oppa cried."

Listening to his younger sister's comfort.

Eun-ha embraced her for a long time.

Like becoming a child, like that.

Shhhh

A sound like something tangled in his chest being washed away.

Ah, I see.

Eun-ha realized only then.

─I can cry.

In his previous life, he had lived suppressing his emotions until death.

But he resolved not to do that anymore now.

Pitter-patter

Now he seemed to understand.

He should have done this even before the regression.

Crying loudly after losing his family.

Crying heavily after losing his grandmother.

He should have found new reasons to live after crying it all out.

Sometimes he should have put a comma and retraced the path ahead.

Not just trying to move forward while overworking himself until death.

Above all─.

─Thank you for everything.

He should have expressed gratitude to grandmother.

Not just being blank.

Shhhh

19 years after regressing.

Though he came back too late.

Eun-ha belatedly poured out his true feelings.

He prayed for grandmother's soul to rest in peace.