Chapter 3

Kuoh Academy. The occult research club.

 The club was dead silent. I mean REALLY dead.

I was sitting on the couch with Fou on my shoulder. Across from me sat a pair of Satan Siscons, with Greyfia standing behind them. Sona and Rias's retinues, as well as themselves, were a bit further away from us, behind the backs of their leaders. Heh. Am I that scary?

- Ahem," I cleared my throat. - What are we going to talk about? By the way, I'm a nurse at Kuoh Academy, Romani Archaman. And can I ask you something? Does Scarlet Satan really have a fetish for maids?

Sirzechs's face twisted violently, and Greyfia's eye twitched. Of all the demons present in the club, only Serafall was having fun.

- Hahahahaha. He's definitely a funny guy," she laughed. - Ro-tan asked a good question, Sirzechs. Are you sure you don't have such a fetish?

- We have a more important question, Serafall,' he said in a calm tone. - Please calm down.

- But I too am interested in this subject," she said, making a pouty face. - You can't deny the fact that it's a very hot topic among the younger generation.

 - Can I have some tea? - I asked dutifully.

In all this buffoonery, the entourage of Satan sisters were awkwardly wriggling or quietly giggling as they looked at the scene in front of them. Oh! I can see Greyfia ready to pounce on the two Siscons, black streaks appearing on her face, and both eyes twitching.

- STOP," Sirzechs raised his voice. - Serafall, we'll leave the issue of me for later. Let's have a serious talk already. And someone get Romani-san some tea.

Wow! He managed to calm her down. Though I can still see the amusement in her eyes.

Hmm? Impressive. All this time, neither Sirzechs nor Serafall let their guard down and watched my actions with the edge of their eyes.

- Here's your tea, Romani-sensei," Akeno said and placed the cup in front of me.

- Thank you, Akeno-san," I said and turned to the Satans. - Why such wariness? I haven't done anything, have I? And you haven't introduced yourself yet.

- I apologize, Romani-san. My name is Sirzechs Lucifer, and the girl next to me is Serafall Leviathan," Sirzechs introduced himself. - And yes, you have indeed done nothing, but are clearly someone who belongs to our world. May I ask what someone like you is doing in our territory?

Oya? You're stepping on a very dangerous land mine, dude.

- What do you mean, "a man like me"? I'm just a nurse at Kuoh Academy, aren't I? - With a grin, I replied. - And one more thing... If I'm not mistaken, everyone here is a demon. And if that's the case, why did you use the word 'our'? As far as I remember, this is the human world, right?

He grimaced, and instead, Serafall answered.

- Ahem. Sirzechs meant that normally all supernatural beings have to notify the personalities in charge of the territory they're in,' she explained. - And about your first question... You give off a feeling of... Emptiness, I guess. Which doesn't fit the description of "just a nurse at Kuoh Academy."

Emptiness? I guess possessing True Magic binds its wielder to the Root, which is a metaphorical black hole. Heh. But it begs the question. Why hasn't the Ophis tried to contact me until now?

- Perhaps," I replied and grinned. - But I don't see how I deserve to meet not one, but two Satans. We can all agree that I had nothing to do with anything. And I can assure you, I am completely harmless.

- Can you back that up? And who are you, Romani-san? - Sirzechs asked.

- Hmm," I scratched my chin. - I can sign a magical contract stating that I am neutral and that I will not show any aggression towards you. Of course, it would be null and void if I were to be the first to suffer that aggression. Will that hold up to you? Also, I'm a Magician.

- I see. We can agree to that," Sirzechs nodded after a moment's thought.

While we were signing the contract, Serafall didn't hold back.

- A Magician?! I'm a Magician too! We can form a duet and star in my show! - shrieked Serafall. - And you know nothing about the incident except its aftermath, Ro-tan?

- Oya? Incident? You mean the unconscious Rias and Issei? - I wondered naively. - May I ask what happened from their point of view?

- Rias said she met.... Creature. And the creature's aura was..... very overwhelming.

Oya. Is that all he's going to say? Sirzechs decided to omit the fact that I mentioned Issei. And his transformation into a demon, for that matter. I noticed Greyfia and Serafall throw a sharp look at Sazex upon hearing his words.

He doesn't know what faction I belong to. I only signed a contract of neutrality and non-aggression. As Satan, he had to explain this incident to avoid possible conflicts between factions. As an elder brother - getting an albeit weak Ddraig bearer into Rias' retinue is very beneficial. Even if there might be some problems from the Shinto faction. Since it happened in territory that the demons ARRENT from her. He's a true siscon, isn't he?

I looked at Rias. She had trembled just at the mention of meeting the Creature. Poor thing... What will Gremory and Bael have to say about this?

- She's weak," I heard the demon Bael say.

- I agree with him," Gremory said. - She fears His Majesty. She fears us. And she shows it. If she is one who shares my blood, she should at least be able to maintain her face and her pride.

- I stand by those words," Bael began. - But my blood runs in her as well. And to see such behavior from one's own blood is unacceptable.

- Silence," Goetia intervened. - What are you going to do, Romani Archaman? It was you who wanted to set the stage for our appearance.

What am I going to do? Heh.

- I see,' I said and set the cup on the table. - I can say that Rias-san's loss of consciousness is justified.

I got up from the couch and headed towards the exit.

- If you need help, I'm willing to help. After all, I'm a nurse at Kuoh Academy, aren't I? - I said and walked out.

- So, did you decide to run away? - Goetia asked.

- Oh, buddy, I wouldn't say that," I replied, getting ready to go home. - Rather, I let them go. They haven't gotten any information about me and assume that I am an observer of some faction in the area. Why do you think they let me go so easily? They're afraid of accidentally provoking a conflict.

- And what do you get out of it?

- Aside from being able to meddle in their affairs as an "observer"? Nothing, I suppose. But is that not enough?

At my answer, Goetia fell silent. Heh. I'm glad he's starting to put up with my thoughts.

- Master, are you free? - I heard Merlin's voice.

- Uh-huh. What's wrong, Flower Pervert?

- Hurry up and go home. You need to see this," he replied, after coughing upon hearing his nickname.

О? Now I'm curious.

-0-

Kuoh City. Emiya's residence.

As soon as I entered the house, a certain picture appeared in front of me.

All of the Servants, except for the Beasts and Grandfather, had their weapons drawn and pointed at a certain loli with black eyes and hair in a revealing gothic dress.

Uh-huh. That loli was The Ophis. What was I saying about her? Like, why hasn't she tried to contact me yet? My tongue is my enemy.

I walked over and stood in front of her. We stared at each other for a long time before I decided to start talking.

- Oya. What are you doing here, Ophis?

- What are you?" she asked in her monotone tone, ignoring my question.

- Why not 'who'?

- What are you?" she repeated her question.

Yep. Great conversation starter. We're gonna have to go a little differently.

- What are you?" I asked.

She tilted her head to the side. Hmm? Am I sick if I think that gesture, coupled with her nonchalant face, is cute?

 - I'm Infinity," she replied, surprisingly. - You're what?

- I'm the Magician," I said. Then picked her up, and sitting down on the couch, I sat her on my lap and began to squeeze her.

The servants looked at me with shocked looks.

- Master, do you realize what you are doing now? - Emiya asked with a twitching eye.

- 'Don't start, Queen Shirou,' I answered him. - I can't resist this level of cuteness.

He gritted his teeth. And Artoria took the floor.

- There's obviously something wrong with you, Master.

I was about to object when I was interrupted by Ophis.

- Warm.

Hmm? Warm? Don't tell me I opened the Ophis root.

- Why is the Great Mother with you?

Excuse me?

- What did you just say? - Turning the Ophis around to face me, I asked.

- Why is the Great Mother with you? - She repeated and pointed at Tiamat who was looking at us.

- Aaaaaaaaaa~'' Tiamat sang out.

I looked at her, then at the Ophis, then at her again. Why do you ask?

Literal translation, "I'm so happy to see my kids hugging and being friends with each other."

Fuck. Can I have the history of the world, please? I think I've been duped somewhere.

-0-

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