"Let's get this started, whoo!" Claire yelled, then hiccuped as she slumped against the wall. Her wings were missing, horns lopsided, and her tail had spun around to hang off the side of her hip.
"Sure, fine - what was the chant again? I kinda forgot…" Tom giggled with a red face. His eyebrows had smudged, one ear hung loose, and his uniform was full of wrinkles - this Spock was clearly wasted.
"Something like 'Oh Come, All Ye Faithful, Joyful and Triumphant', wasn't it?" Keith asked, and the others chuckled. His coat was hanging open, one leg had trousers ripped off at the knee, and his collar was missing a few spikes.
"That's a Christian song, not a demon summoning chant." Gen rolled her eyes. Apart from some tangled hair and bent bangles, Genifer still maintained a neat outfit.
"But isn't it hilarious that most of the lyrics work?" Keith replied staunchly, before screaming with laughter.
"Why did we let an atheist play a Christian werewolf priest again?" Lisa sighed. She lost her armour somewhere, and the hobby horse, so she lies drunk on the floor in a white dress with threads floating free at the edges.
"For the same reason Tom gets to be Spock - his arguments were just too funny…" Harry laughed, his robe had long been discarded to reveal a t shirt with jeans, and now all that remained from his costume was a badly crumpled cheap hat.
"L-let's look at the book, and, and read it again." Norm stuttered and slurred, drunk out of his mind. The branches from his costume were discarded around him, making a strange sort of bird nest with one unruly chick.
"Yeah, good idea! Bring out the demonic volume!" Claire shouted with vigour, in stark contrast with her lack of movement.
"Here, I got it, there's the book mark, and it says…" Harry began reading with a grin, but his expression became very strange.
"What? Come on, READ IT OUT LOUD!" Claire yelled, startling Harry, but he still began to speak.
"Oh Lord, you are so Big. So absolutely huge. We're all really impressed down here, I can tell you… This is nothing like the chant before! What the hell?" Harry complained, sparking snickers in the group.
"Oooh, okay let me try~" Gen grinned, so Harry passed the book over.
"Eh-hem. And I need you. And I miss you. And now I wonder, if I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by?… damn, I hate that song! This book really is demonic." Gen read the lyrics in a serious voice filled with naked disgust.
"My turn, give me the book." Keith waved a hand, and the book was passed over like the mystery parcel in a party game.
"I, Keith, have a confession to make today - from the first day we met, I have been absolutely and irrevocably in love with-" Keith's face froze in a sneer, and his eyes turned to Norm involuntarily with a complex mixture of hope and guilt.
"K-Keith, you're in love? Wow! Who's the g-girl? When do we meet her?" Norm asked in drunk excitement, causing half the room to facepalm. Keith sat back against the wall, letting the book fall to the floor, and covered his head with his jacket.
"Is it my turn? Yeah!" Claire snatched up the book, opened it and started reading.
"Tom Fiddle pushed Harry Trotter to the cold ground. 'It's too late to save her, you know.' He sneered at Harry. 'Don't say that! Can't you let Ginny go? I-I'll do anything!' Harry cried sadly, but Tom looked intrigued. 'Really? Anything? Are you willing to swear it?' He asked with predatory eyes. Harry looked scared, but nodded with resolve. So Tom flicked his wand, and Harry was quickly tied up, unable to struggle or look away as Tom pulled his Basilisk out of his trousers… This is great stuff…" Claire read, gaining a gleeful perverted grin.
"Hehehe, Tom(Harry)…NOOOOOOO!" The two boys snickered to themselves, then accidentally met eyes and went pale in horror.
The two boys crossed the diagram on the floor and struggled valiantly together, desperately trying to remove the book from the clutches of the evil dragon girl. After an epic struggle, with many sacrifices, they succeeded in preventing the amazing story from being completed.
The four watching this farce were cramping in laughter, feet kicking and hardly able to breathe.
Eventually, when the laughter trickled to a stop, Tom and Harry gave the book to Lisa, while Claire pouted in the corner.
"Right, at this point, I think it's clear this crazy book is trolling us." Lisa began, and everyone nodded. "Maybe we don't need some sort of official arcane chant. Perhaps we just have to hold the book, face the sacrifices on the diagram, and say something like, 'Oh Mighty Lord Malcolm, patron of Drunks, Fools and Gamblers, we seek your presence - DEMON COME!'"
The lights suddenly flickered, and cut out, filling the room with darkness.
A breeze blew from nowhere, and the sacrifices lit up with an eerily green glow. The flower petals fell off and drifted into the air, outlining a strange airflow. The incense ignited without warning and burned into smoke that billowed and followed the petals. The half-melted cola icecubes refroze, before disintegrating into sparkling dust that made the glow brighter. The meat juice became strangely thick, and sickening red drops floated into the air like something from a lava lamp. Beer spilled over from the empty cans around the room, joining the other sacrifices in midair. Plastic dice jumped and rattled around the room, before gathering above the diagram with the other sacrifices.
The glow flashed a sudden blinding light, and the seven friends were forced to look away.
The glow cut out, the wind stilled, and without warning the room lit up with ordinary light again.
As they blinked their eyes, they heard the sound of dice rubbing and clicking together.
They looked at the centre of the six point star, and saw a grinning creature staring back at them, lazily playing a set of dice through his fingers.
The was nothing obviously strange about the person on the diagram. He seemed a rather handsome man in his thirties. If you met him on the street, you probably wouldn't think there was anything out of the ordinary about him, but - the pressure his eyes gave the friends as he stared with a smile made sure no one could mistake him for a human.
But as he opened his mouth to speak, Keith couldn't help but say -
"Hey, Lisa, weren't demons supposed to be taller?"