Chapter 137 - Ilio part 4

Even with his accelerated mental faculties, it took a moment for my words to sink in. He frowned up at me, confused by what I'd said, still wrestling with the memories of his recent mortal victim. "What… what do you mean?" he stammered.

I laughed gently as his confusion. "You may be a father soon," I repeated.

He pulled away from me, pressing his fingertips to his temples. "Please, Thest, no lessons tonight. My skull feels like it's splitting open. I don't even know which thoughts are my own, and which thoughts belong to the mortal that I've killed."

"I'm not trying to impart a lesson, Ilio. I am only acting as a deliverer of news."

He blinked up at me doubtfully. "What are you talking about?" he cried. "How can I be a father?"

"Ilio," I teased him gently, "we had this talk when we still lived on the mountain. Don't you remember?"

"I don't mean 'how' like that--"

"Do you recall the Neirie women the Elders sent to our tent? One of them is with child. She claims that you are the sire."

Ilio shook his head. "Me? A father? That can't be true!"

"I assure you, it is a distinct possibility."

"But I only did it that one time," he protested.

"All it takes is one time!" I laughed. I put a hand on his shoulder, smiling sympathetically. "Come now, man! I explained to you how babies are made. It is not a complicated process."

"No, it is not," Ilio said. He thought for a moment, head down, then looked at me with a tentative smile. "Can it really be true? Have I fathered a mortal child?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I cannot say for sure, Ilio. The Neirie man I conversed with tonight, Tapas-- you know, the giant that I told you about-- delivered the message to me. And he was only repeating what the slave girl claims. Only she would know if it is true or not, but she says that it is you. I do not know why she would lie about it."

Ilio scrubbed his bloody cheeks with his sleeve. "Can we go to their camp and see her tonight?" he asked.

I nodded to the dead man lying at our feet. "Do you think that is wise?"

His face crumpled. "Oh, Thest! What am I going to do? I failed miserably the very first time I was tempted!"

"As did I, remember?"

"Perhaps it would be best if I do not acknowledge this child. If I harmed the baby, or the woman who bore him, I would destroy myself out of remorse."

I nodded. "That was the course I chose when I was made this vicious thing we are," I said. "I abandoned my children, abandoned my mates. I did it for their safety, but it is a decision I have always regretted. Perhaps, with my help, you could have a happier fate."

"You would do that for me?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I will advise you," I answered. "I will do my best to train you, but ultimately your life is your own. Your decisions are yours, and it is you and you alone who will have to live with the consequences of your actions."

Ilio looked to the dead man.

"I suppose we should bury his body in some remote location," he said finally. "It would not be fit for the Neirie to learn of my failure. Not if we wish to live among them. Not if I wish to be a father to this child."

I nodded solemnly. Acts of deception have never set well with me, but I am enough of a realist to know that a lie is sometimes the lesser evil. As I myself have lied-- to the boy, from the very moment that I "rescued" him.

I am a father of lies, I thought, but aloud I said, "If that is what you think is best."

"I don't think any of this is 'best'," Ilio confessed, scooping up his victim's body. He stood, the Tanti dangling in his arms. "It is just that I see no other alternative," he explained.

He sounded so like me in that moment that I had a strange thought: that the man-child was more like me than could rationally be explained. He seemed more like a child of my flesh than an adopted son. Perhaps, when I had made him an immortal, the essence of my soul had been distilled into his own, as the essence of mortal men and women mix when they make a child together.

The clouds that had been massing all evening had finally overspread the heavens. Lightning flickered like the tongue of a serpent, followed by a great crash of thunder. We listened to the thunder reverberate across the plains, waning into the distance even as the echo rolled back upon itself. The rain began to fall with a sudden drumming in the treetops. Cold rainwater filtered through the piney boughs above us, drizzling down on our heads in purring rivulets.

Water running down his face, Ilio looked at the dead man in his arms. "Would that this rain could wash away the wrongs I have done tonight," he murmured.

"Such stains can never be washed away."

"As you know from bitter experience," the boy said. He looked at me, raindrops dripping from his curled lashes. "And now I."

I looked back at him, silent. Waiting.

"Let us bury this man tonight," Ilio nodded. "Then tomorrow we shall visit the camp of the Neirie. I would like to see this woman who claims I've fathered her child. I will know if she speaks the truth."

"As you wish," I nodded, and then he turned and walked into the open.

The boy vanished into the flapping gray curtain of the rain.

A moment later, I followed.