Chapter 263 - Blood Gods in Exile part 8

As we descended:

"You stole his memories during our battle in Fen'Dagher."

"Yes. I have them in my mind."

"Perhaps you could use them to help us win this war. He is the oldest living T'sukuru. He is the First of Us. Perhaps he knows some way to destroy an Eternal. Some secret we might use against him."

"You do not have his memories? I thought you would have taken them when I Shared with you."

"I have them, but they are very dim in my mind. They are like old dreams. That is how it is when you do not Share directly. The memories grow dimmer with each passing. And when I try to look within them, some aspect of the God King's awareness pushes me away."

"That is strange," I said. "I sense his presence in my mind, but it does not have the power to turn away my thoughts. He has no power over me at all."

"The Sharing is different for each of us," Zenzele said, her hands and feet moving assuredly over the rocks. "Some blood gods cannot Share at all. Or they take without giving. Or give without receiving. I have always felt the presence of those that I have Shared with. It is as if a piece of their spirit resides within my mind. Sometimes they fight me when I try to go inside their memories. Males are usually the most resistant."

I was curious. "And what of my memories? Do you feel my presence in your mind?"

"Yes."

"Am I… combative?"

Zenzele laughed. "No. Your awareness is usually quite amorous."

"Ah! But it would be!"

We had come down near the forest at the foot of the mountain. Zenzele leapt toward the treetops and I followed. We dropped down through the canopy of the wood and made our way toward the river.

"When we hunt tomorrow night, we should skin the animals. Tan them and make some new garments," Zenzele said.

"Why? Our bodies need no protection from the elements. My people often went naked during the warm season."

"As did mine," Zenzele said. "But the peoples of this region are not so accustomed to nudity. They might be offended by our nakedness. If you plan to enlist them to your cause, it might be best if we clothe ourselves in mortal raiment."

I nodded. "I'm sure you're right. It might frighten some of the mortals if they see this bounding toward them."

Zenzele laughed. She had a beautiful laugh, throaty and purring. "I wish I had been born among your people, my love," she said wistfully. "You have their easy way. It is nice to laugh and be carefree. My mortal life was much more perilous than yours."

"It was not so bad as that," I said. "You laughed when you were a child. You had time for play."

"Yes, we laughed. But always with an eye cast over our shoulders. I wonder if you would be so caring of the mortal world if you had grown up as I did. If you were stolen away from your family. If you were treated as property. If you were mutilated. Raped. If your mortal life had not been so pleasant."

"I would be as I am. That is all I can be."

"Protector-god of mortal men?" she said. "Traitor to your own kind?"

"Our own kind? What we are is not a natural thing, my love. This… creature that dwells within us, the black blood, the ebu potashu, is not of this world. I have seen it in Khronos's memories. It will consume everything if we do not oppose it. Though it has made us into gods, we must act to safeguard the race we were once a part of. If we do not, we will betray the very men and women who gave birth to us, and that is a thing I cannot do. I was raised to revere my ancestors. I will never be welcome among their spirits if I turn my back on my people."

"Among their spirits…" Zenzele mused. "You may never die, beautiful one."

"I do not believe that," I said. "All things perish. It is merely a more difficult thing for us."

We came to the river, stood on the rocky shore of it, listening to it gurgle along contentedly, watching white cataracts jump and surge around the smooth gray stones. The sky had begun to lighten, the stars to wink more faintly. The clouds were tinged with hues of pink and lavender. Soon we would have to go underground, hide our sensitive eyes from the blazing heavens.

Gods! I thought scornfully. We are not gods. We are more like reptiles. Terrible, cold-blooded reptiles.

"I was a mortal man once," I said, staring pensively across the river.

I did not know how to finish the thought.

After a moment, Zenzele nodded.