Chapter Thirty-Three: Atonement - Misunderstanding

"Why are you so good to me?" "Why? You've all been so kind to me, yet all I do is hurt you." "I thought... if I kept it buried inside, no one would know, and Lu Yan wouldn't have to remember such painful memories." "He could just be himself, happy. But I realized everything was wrong from the very beginning."

Her voice remained calm, without a trace of emotion, as if she were a puppet devoid of feelings, not even lifting her eyes.

Nan Xianyi pulled her into his arms. "If crying makes you feel better, then cry freely!"

"Nan Xianyi..." It seemed she wanted to cry but was holding back her tears. "Hmm," he responded softly. "Don't be so good to me. You're too good to me, to the point where I fear I'll lose you just like I lost Lu Yan."

The water streaming down her face, whether rain or tears, she didn't bother to wipe away. "If one day I leave you, will you cry like you did today?"

She shook her head. "No."

Nan Xianyi let out a bitter laugh. "Right. After all... I'm not important to you."

His fists clenched tighter behind her, his brows furrowing but he made no sound.

In the demon world, Zisang clenched her fists so tightly her teeth bit into her lower lip. She hesitated for a long time, lacking the courage to enter, and then turned back. Unexpectedly, she ran into Nan Xianyi.

"Where are you going? Didn't we agree to find Lu Yan and apologize?" "We've looked all over the demon world and couldn't find him. Maple Leaf Lake is the last place left." "He won't see me."

As she spoke, she started biting her lip nervously again. "Not necessarily."

Nan Xianyi, in a teasing mood, smiled and said, "Don't you think that after what happened yesterday, Lu Yan is probably hiding somewhere in Maple Leaf Lake, crying?" "Can you bear to let him cry alone without anyone to comfort him?"

Thinking about it, she felt it made sense. "But are you sure the killer comforting him will calm him down? What if he cries harder?"

Nan Xianyi's eyes sparkled with amusement as he shrugged. "That depends on your skills. If he loses control of his emotions, we'll just have to stay out of his way. We can't confront him directly, can we?" "Alright! Don't overthink it. Didn't I say I'd be right behind you? If you can't handle it, I'll help."

Zisang, convinced by Nan Xianyi's smooth talking, had no choice but to follow his lead. As predicted, when she arrived at the village entrance, she saw Lu Yan leaning against a tree, staring blankly at the village ahead.

Since she was already there, she had no choice but to muster up her courage and approach him. "Can you see clearly from so far away? Why not go in?"

Lu Yan sighed deeply. "I went in, but I don't remember anything. It doesn't even make me sad." "It's ironic. I haven't shed a single tear for them."

He turned to look at Zisang, his eyes as gentle as ever, as if nothing had happened. "Why are you here today? To repent? Or to atone?"

"I... that day, I was..." "Because your demon soul lost control, and you acted without reason."

"Heh, I know everything."

His laugh was laced with irony; he still harbored hatred. Indeed, no matter how many times she said sorry, it couldn't atone for her crimes. The only thing she could do was make up for what she owed Lu Yan.

"Lu Yan, I'm not trying to shirk responsibility by telling you this." "I just want you to know that it wasn't my intention. But since it happened, the only thing I can do now is make up for my debt to you."

"Debt?" "Heh, Zisang, you killed hundreds of villagers at Maple Leaf Lake. I should hate you. I should kill you." "But I can't remember anything from before. All I recall is the kindness from you and my foster father. I can't even bring myself to hate you. So, what should I do?"

His smile was resigned, almost as if he had come to terms with it. "As my foster father said, forgetting might be good for me. At least it spares me from painful memories."

Foster father? He mentioned his foster father. Does that mean he has forgiven me?

"So, you've forgiven me?" Her surprise was tinged with disbelief and doubt.

Lu Yan said, "Zisang, I can't hate you. I've always seen you as my sister." "I just want to ask you one thing. Aside from feeling indebted, have you ever truly regarded me as family?"

Zisang broke into a teary smile and hugged Lu Yan tightly. "We've always been family. You've always been my brother."

With the tension between them finally dissolved, Zisang was overjoyed. However, Lu Yan wouldn't continue on her path with her. Though he had lost his memory, this place was where he grew up. It held his villagers and his family.

They hadn't been able to send them off properly, but now he could at least give them a proper burial, even if only their bones and clothes remained.

Knowing Lu Yan intended to leave, Zisang didn't know where to hide her tears. Seeing her absence, Nan Xianyi asked, "Now that you know the truth, why don't you tell her? At least let her know it wasn't her fault, so she doesn't carry the guilt forever."

Lu Yan's surprise was fleeting as he recalled that day. He had sensed something off about Yu Fu's words and took her away for questioning. He then realized that it was Yu Fu who poisoned Zisang, making her the real culprit, with Zisang merely being a tool in her hands.

Lu Yan's actions that day were clear, but Zisang had been too heartbroken to notice. He chuckled lightly. "What good would knowing the truth do? Those innocent villagers indeed died by her arrow." "Shouldn't she carry the guilt to atone for her mistake?"

Nan Xianyi said, "But now that I know the truth, aren't you afraid I'll tell her?"

Lu Yan replied, "That's your decision."

Nan Xianyi handed Lu Yan a token. "She asked me to give this to you."

Lu Yan glanced at it and was shocked. "This is the Demon Order! Why is she giving it to me?"

"She said it never belonged to her. The Demon Emperor intended it for you." "But as you know, the Demon Emperor was killed, the demon clan was thrown into chaos, and Zisang had a hard time reclaiming it." "She worried that the old ministers would oppress you as an outsider, so she fought her way to secure it for you. Now that the time is right, it's yours."

"That girl..."

Lu Yan couldn't help but wipe away tears. Over the past five years, he had been by her side, aware of the hardships she endured. He had always thought she was merely avenging the Demon Emperor and reclaiming what was rightfully hers. He hadn't realized her thoughts went much deeper.

The Demon Order and the Demon Emperor's throne were paths she had forged through bloodshed and infamy. In the end, he was the one who enjoyed the love and respect of the people. No, this couldn't be.

"I can't accept the Demon Order. Take it back."