The hospital

- No... As I said, I'm just sick with the flu. - I tried not to look at them so that they wouldn't notice my lie.

- Hey, Nicole, how long are you going to keep this up? We already know. It's impossible not to notice when we look at you.

I looked at Vivian, breaking out in a cold sweat.

- I'm sorry, girls. I thought it would work, I never imagined it would come to this. I wanted to, for once... - I burst into tears.

- Shiiii. Hey, it's not right to run away from Matthew. He'll end up talking to his mother. Having rules isn't bad. - Vivian rolled her eyes.

- Sooner or later, you'll have to take over your mother's company. Don't be like that, it could be good for you.

What's that? What do you mean? I thought they were talking about Luck, but they thought I was ill because I had to leave. They thought I was going crazy because I didn't want to accept Madeleine's rules anymore.

- When we got to Starbucks yesterday and couldn't find you, we called your cell phone and you didn't answer. Then we called Matthew and he said he had dropped her off half an hour earlier. We didn't want to make a fuss, so we told him that you probably needed some time alone to get used to the fact that you were going to have to leave.

- Of course, we did it after calling the school to see if anyone had seen you go upstairs. I know it's not easy - Alice gave me a bear hug. - But we can see each other at weekends. No need to almost kill us with your heart. - She loosened her embrace and wiped away my tears. - Well, enough of this morbid talk. How about lunch together today?

I looked like a friend and denied it.

- Nicole, this is a summons, let's enjoy our days together. - Vivian made a dramatic pout.

- It's true! You won't even go if you're dragged! - Alice got up from my bed and stared at me.

- Fine - I agreed in the end, since they weren't budging. I pretended to cover my ears as they screamed in hysterics.

At lunchtime, I just nibbled my food, I'd lost my appetite. My body was there, but my thoughts were on Luck.

**

We spent the rest of the three and a half weeks buying things for my trip, updating my closet and getting my passport. I wasn't one for spending a lot, but it was a way of forgetting everything that had happened and moving on.

That morning I was feeling terrible, I don't know exactly if it was because I was only three days away or because I wasn't eating very well. I was packing the rest of the things I needed to send there into boxes. Vivian and Alice insisted that I hire someone to do it for me, but I didn't want to, I didn't have much. Besides, the more distracted I was, the better.

I was about to stack the last box when a wave of dizziness hit me. I leaned my hands on the box, trying to hold myself up, but I was too dizzy. I fell to the floor. I could see everything spinning around, it was hard for me to see clearly normally. Another wave of vertigo hit me and I ran, still dizzy, towards the bathroom, but I threw up before I could reach the toilet. God, I was sick. I felt waves of cold crawling up my skin as I vomited. When my body calmed down, I lay on the cold bathroom floor, feeling my stomach ache and waves of dizziness come and go. I could only be dying, no doubt about it, I can't remember ever feeling so ill in my entire life. I needed to call for help. I picked up my cell phone with trembling hands and dialed the first number on my call list. Vivian took a long time to pick up, she and her habit of singing the song before answering the call. Mailbox.

- Damn! - Clutching the toilet, I vomited again. My phone rang. I answered on the first ring, getting vomit all over the screen from my dirty fingers.

- Vivian... - I said. - Please, I need you.

- Okay? Are you in your room?

- Yes... - I replied, before throwing up again and, once again, lying down

on the cold floor.

- I'm close, I'll be there soon.

A few minutes passed when I heard footsteps in my room. Then Vivian knelt down beside me.

- Oh my God! Nicole, what's wrong with you?

- I don't know... I think I'm dying," I said, curled up on the floor with my hand on my stomach.

- Don't talk nonsense. Come on, I'll help you up. I've come with Matthew, we're taking you to the doctor.

More footsteps; then Alice ran in, hysterical, saying something about me not eating properly. Matthew was with me and picked me up. I rested my head on her shoulder, smearing it with vomit, and fell asleep.

The noise of the monitors woke me up. I opened my eyes and looked at my arm, which was hooked up to the IV. I sat up slowly on the stretcher. I plucked the wires from the monitor attached to my chest and finger. I looked around and the hospital room was empty. I tried to support my feet on the floor, I still felt weak, I must have been anemic. The door to the room opened.

- Nicole O'Connel?

I nodded.

- I was told that they found you practically passed out in your apartment, that you had vomited a lot and were having chills.

- Yes. I was fine and ended up getting very dizzy, I threw up a few times.

a few times.

- Does this happen often?

- No, it's the first time I've vomited.

- What about the nausea?

- I'm going through a complicated phase. - I'm just saying. - If I eat normally, can I get better?

- And are you feeling better? - She ignores my first question and moves closer, checking the empty IV and then removing the access from my arm.

- Yes, I feel better. I think so. - I squeezed my arm with absorbent cotton so that it wouldn't bleed.

I was bleeding.

She took out a clipboard and started checking the results.

- Do you take any medication?

- I don't think so.

- Do you drink or smoke?

- No.

- Do you eat often?

- Hmm... - I swallowed, taking a little longer to answer. - The truth is, I'm a bit scattered when it comes to my diet. - I smiled down. - As I said, I'm going through some problems.

She nodded negatively, as if she disapproved.

- This has, in fact, aggravated your symptoms. When was your last period?

- A little over a month... - I take a break to calculate, but I can't. - My period never maintained a correct flow.

- Yes, I understand. Well, Nicole, you're anemic and your blood sugar is low. You must have fainted because of a sudden drop in pressure.

- I nodded as she spoke. - Your blood test also shows that your Beta HCG was positive for pregnancy.

- What? - I asked, smiling as if it were a joke.

- Your blood test was positive for a possible pregnancy.

I straighten up and hear my own heartbeat in my ears. I take a deep, shaky breath. Oh dear. I'm a bit nervous. Nervous to the point of hearing things.

But then the doctor repeats.