No control

Ethan gave a broad smile. Then he added. - Honey, maybe you'll fly to New York with me?

Honey? My face heated up.

- Ethan! - Caroline's annoying voice called out. She hugged him from behind so that, when he turned to look at her, they were almost kissing.

Bitch.

He gently released her hands from his neck and turned to speak to her.

- Caroline," he said between breaths. - I've already asked you not to serve any more champagne.

- I'm not drinking champagne, this is whisky," she said, stepping between us. - Ah! Come on, don't be a pain! I want to dance! Dance with me! - And she did that fake jig again.

Ethan locked his jaw. He was clearly annoyed.

- You know very well for what purpose this event is organized. If you want to drink until you drop, or dance until your feet blister, go to some nightclub with your friends," he said without patience. - You're embarrassing me.

- I don't have any friends, you know. - She whispers melodramatically.

"Why is that? I wonder."

Caroline, you must have read something in my expression, because you add - It's because of her, isn't it? - she shouted a little louder than expected. - You're not paying attention to me. You keep leaving me alone, you don't even know her! She's the maid! She shouldn't even be here!

- Shut up! - he said, grabbing her wrist. - One more offense to her and I'll put you on the first flight back.

I heard her grumble. Then she stormed off like a child.

- Sorry about that. She just... I don't know what's gotten into her today.

- It's okay," I said sincerely.

- I think I'd better go after her. Caroline has a magnet for trouble, so excuse me for a few minutes. - Ethan's going after her.

- Sure - Thomas said first.

- Of course - I nodded.

He left us alone. There was an awkward silence.

- Don't you like champagne?

- Me?" Oh, of course, who else would he be talking to? - Actually, I don't think drinks and big events go together. - Not really.

- I understand," he said with a nice smile. - So you've been working here?

- Yes, for a week.

- I see. Ethan has a good heart. Don't let Caroline get to you. She's not all bad, but most of the time she's a cow.

I ended up smiling.

- The truth is, I kind of understand. They're cousins, and he was in New York, close to her, now he's here, he must miss her.

- It's not like they're real cousins. They even dated once. Ethan's aunt on his mother's side married her father, and they were already fourteen.

Oh my God. What an ass.

I felt my face go white.

- Err... uh... Thomas, if you don't mind, I need to sit down, my foot is sore.

I left without even knowing if I was being rude. I needed to breathe, I was feeling suffocated. I ran towards the kitchen, which was momentarily empty. I leaned my trembling arms on the counter and sucked in a breath of air to calm down. Damn it, I wasn't supposed to be upset like this, but I was jealous, I couldn't help it. We had nothing, but knowing that they were ex-boyfriends had been too much for me.

I'm so jealous I can't breathe. It's ridiculous even for me.

I heard footsteps in the direction of the kitchen and, as I wanted a bit of privacy, I shut myself in the pantry, leaving just a crack open. I sat down on a small pouf, took off my shoes and began to massage my feet. A woman dressed like the rest of the waiters came in. She started talking to herself, several words I didn't understand, it sounded like Russian, I don't know.

She picked up the bottle of champagne and poured a little into each glass. A moment later, she picked up a small bottle and poured some liquid into all of them.

Damn. I didn't know what it was, but it didn't seem right.

Ethan owned a security company and, from what I'd heard Will and Benjamin say, he'd done things I wouldn't think were right. Even though I still didn't understand his motives, it meant that he probably had a lot of enemies. What if it was poison? What if it was something to kill him, to do him harm?

I shivered as I tried my best not to make a sound. Finally, she was out of my sight. When I was sure she was no longer there, I carefully left the pantry and walked quickly to the hall. When I got there, she was heading towards Ethan, but first she was stopped by Thomas, who picked up a glass and then put the empty one on the tray. Ethan also took one.

I ran like crazy towards him. I was still barefoot. I immediately pushed the glass out of Thomas' hands, who had taken a sip, and tried to pull it out of Ethan's hand.

Everyone's eyes turned to me, including the woman pouring the champagne. I heard people commenting, some laughing.

- Nicole, is everything all right? - Ethan asked seriously, while looking at me.

- I-I... Me.

I tried to speak, but the tiredness of the race and the nervousness of the situation were making me speechless.

- I... I think there's something wrong with this champagne," I said at last.

I noticed looks on my face, but I didn't feel the least bit embarrassed. I looked back and there was the serving woman, standing there, not understanding anything. Ethan put his hand on my elbow, as if to get my attention. I looked into his eyes, which were as serious as I'd ever seen them.

- Are you sure?

- S-Yes. - My voice shook a little as I answered.

Thomas looked at me and muttered. - I think you might have made a mistake, because I'm fine.

- You should fire her! - I heard Caroline's drunken, venomous voice behind me. - She's embarrassed you.

I lowered my vision. I could well have been wrong, I felt my eyes fill with tears.

Then Thomas started to choke and fell to the floor.

It was as if time passed in slow motion. The woman who had previously been carrying the champagne threw everything on the floor and ran. The party crowd began to disperse quickly and I heard someone shouting for a doctor. I looked forward and saw Will, who had caught the woman. She was shouting words in Russian. I closed my eyes. There was noise, running, fear, people crying. When I opened them, I saw Ethan in front of the kneeling woman. She spat at him, and he answered her harshly, also in Russian. Then she was lifted up by Will, with Colle by her side. Soon, they disappeared through the door.

- Nicole! Nicole!

I looked back and saw Maria calling me.

- It's all right, darling, it's all right," she said calmly. She took my hand and at no point did I try to stop her. She began to guide me.

We walked down the corridor until we reached my bedroom door. - Come on, it's okay. - I walked with her to the bed. I sat down. She unzipped my dress.

- It's all right, Maria.

She gave me a motherly look.

- It's normal to feel like this. Is this the first time you've been in a situation like this?

I nodded yes.

- If you're going to live with Colle, you need to know that it doesn't happen all the time. Anyway, you'll get used to it one day or another.

Living with Colle...Living with Colle...?

I knew, after I found out about his kidnapping and the revenge, that he was a dangerous man. His work demanded it, and he made a lot of enemies out of it. I knew he carried a gun; the holster and the gun were visible under his tight clothes. I even found a gun in his clothes while I was cleaning. But my life being at risk, seeing other people at risk or dead... God! I remember feeling sick and having nightmares for a month after I hit a family of ferrets at the driving school. I couldn't live like that. I couldn't bear it. Everything was too good to be true, and I could see the true face of the fantasy proposal of living in that piece of paradise.

- If you want, I can bring you some hot chocolate. - Maria interrupted my thoughts. She was clearly worried.

I nodded.

- "Anything, you know where to find me," she said with a smile, as she turned and left.

I walked slowly to the bathroom, finished undressing, leaned against the wall of the shower and let my back slide down until I was sitting, knees bent, curled up over my body, as I hugged myself in the shower, naked. I remembered once again when I was little, afraid, alone. But this time I wasn't crying. I left the water at a scalding temperature. I wanted it to wash away all the dirt I had gotten myself into. What the fuck! How could I have lost control of my life like that?