Can’t be real

"Whatever happens, stay safe. I'll be back after all this ends. Then we'll talk." Those words from Ludwig's letter replayed in my mind countless times over the past three days. Yet, despite my attempts, I couldn't shake off the memories of what transpired between us. The desire to immerse myself in icy water grew strong as the heat of embarrassment flushed my face whenever I recalled my actions with Ludwig.

The fact that I fainted in the heat of the moment was something I couldn't come to terms with. Was it the surrender to his kisses, knowing he belonged to another, or was it the overwhelming sensation when Ludwig's lips touched my collarbone that caused my embarrassment?

Examining my reflection in a small mirror, my cheeks mirrored the redness of a ripe tomato, a visual testament to the tumult of emotions swirling within me.

Frustration gnawed at me relentlessly as I sat in the small house, disconnected from the unfolding events in the lands of Fortunalia. The worry consumed me, leaving me unable to find any semblance of calmness in my inactivity.

My mind raced with countless thoughts, especially concerning Alexa's disappearance. The lack of news only fueled my anxiety. Was she still alive, or had something terrible happened to her?

My attention turned to the pendant she had gifted me, its persistent glow capturing my curiosity. I removed it from around my neck, examining it closely. Strangely, it had been glowing ever since Ludwig's arrival, adding to the mystery surrounding it.

Seeking answers, I approached Commander Rivalz, hoping he might shed some light on the glowing pendant. However, his response only deepened the mystery, as he claimed no knowledge of anything related to witchcraft or the pendant's unusual behavior.

Hours passed in a haze of restlessness, spent sitting, humming, and gazing out at the horizon. The desire to contribute and help weighed heavily on me, yet I felt powerless, unsure if there was anything meaningful I could do to aid in the ongoing struggle.

As my mind wearied from incessant thoughts, I decided to divert my attention by cooking a meal. It was a welcome distraction, especially since I had nearly forgotten that today was my birthday. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and letting the day pass in a haze of boredom and guilt, I busied myself in the kitchen.

It took a few hours of preparation, but I managed to cook a sufficient amount of food for the knights who were currently stationed to guard me. When I called them for lunch, they hesitated to enter the house, as they were sworn to protect me from outside. Although there was a designated mealtime, I didn't push them to adhere strictly to it, knowing that I lacked authority over them. They followed Prince Ludwig's orders without question. However, they graciously accepted the food when I personally brought it to them.

Commander Rivalz and I sat at the table, enjoying the meal together. To my surprise, he even assisted me in washing the dishes afterward. It dawned on me that these knights were not only trained for combat but also for survival under any circumstances. 

After tidying up a bit, I retreated to my room with intentions to read and then take a nap. However, my mind refused to settle, so I ended up drifting into a nap sooner than planned.

The transition from wakefulness to slumber was abrupt, accompanied by a chilling sensation that seemed to encase my entire body in ice. Darkness engulfed me, a profound void where even with my eyes open, I couldn't perceive anything. I felt a yearning, as if something was pulling me towards it, yet I couldn't discern what it was.

"I'm sorry, but she's really gone," a familiar voice spoke, sending a shiver down my spine as my throat went dry with recognition.

"Are you sure, father?" 

My voice trembled as I questioned the reality of what I was experiencing.

Suddenly, the darkness dissipated, and I found myself back home, in our family house, surrounded by my relatives.

"Maybe... maybe someone saw her. Maybe she's in another town, or perhaps..."

"Elizabeth, honey, your sister Louise is gone. Let's accept that so her wandering spirit can move on to another life. Let her finally rest in peace," my auntie's words pierced through my heart, tears streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably.

My surroundings remained unchanged, the familiar wooden structure, flickering lights, cracked windows, and the absence of some chairs. 

The news of my passing struck Elizabeth like a thunderbolt. "No, father, Louise can't be dead. Not yet. No!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with disbelief and desperation.

My own emotions surged as I rushed towards my uncle and aunt, seeking solace or some form of understanding. "Eliz is right, uncle," I shouted, my words echoing in the room. "I am not dead. I'm still alive. I'm here."

However, as I tried to make my presence known, it was as if I were invisible, unheard. Their attention remained solely on Elizabeth, who was lying in the bed, her tears flowing unrestrained.

"Uncle, auntie, Elizabeth. I'm here!" I reached out to touch my auntie's arm, but my hand passed through as if I were nothing more than smoke.

"No. This can't be real," I whispered to myself, feeling my eyes burn with unshed tears. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to convince myself that this was just a nightmare, a figment of my imagination. It couldn't be real.

As I opened my eyes, I found myself still in the midst of the heartbreaking scene. Elizabeth's tears showed no sign of abating.

"Stop crying, Elizabeth," my uncle's voice cracked with sorrow. "It's been six months since your sister went missing. If she's alive, she would have found a way to reach out to us, to assure us that she's okay wherever she is."

My auntie joined in the sorrowful chorus, tears streaming down her cheeks as she struggled to find solace.

Unable to bear their pain, I embraced them, even though I knew my presence offered no tangible comfort.

My own tears flowed freely as I witnessed the despair in Elizabeth's eyes. It was clear that they believed I was gone, lost forever.

"I'm sorry," my uncle's voice wavered with guilt, "if I hadn't borrowed that debt, your sister wouldn't have disappeared."

"Is she really gone, father?" Elizabeth's voice was barely a whisper, filled with a mix of longing and uncertainty.

"You heard what the witnesses said, right? The carriage they were riding on exploded," my uncle reiterated, his voice heavy with sorrow and resignation.

Elizabeth's disbelief was palpable. "But then, why is there no body of my sister if that was the case?" she questioned, her voice trembling with hope and confusion.

I stood there, unsure if what I was witnessing was real or just a dream. Despite the sadness of the situation, I felt a sense of gratitude for being able to see them again, even if it was under these circumstances.

As I reached out, intending to touch Elizabeth's face, I was abruptly pulled from behind by an unseen force. I let out a scream, but no one heard me. Darkness engulfed me once more, accompanied by a chilling coldness.

When I emerged into the light again, I realized I was no longer in our familiar room. The sudden change left me disoriented, unsure of where I was or what was happening.

Surrounded by trees with flames flickering not far away, the once silent forest echoed with the heart-wrenching cries of children. My eyes widened as I recognized Yuri's voice among the chaos, but before I could react, I was abruptly torn away from the forest.

Once again, I felt a force pulling me, but this time, I didn't scream. I glanced around, but all I could see was darkness.

The familiar coldness enveloped me, signaling a transition, and then suddenly, blinding light flooded my vision.

In front of me stood Ludwig, but he was covered in blood, his demeanor tense and threatening. I instinctively stepped back as he unleashed scorching fires towards me.

I touched my head and hugged myself, but after a few seconds passed, I couldn't feel any pain. The fires from Ludwig's attack simply passed through me, indicating that I wasn't the intended target. The Ghouls in front of him were.

Not far away, I spotted Liam being surrounded by Emberocks.

As I prepared to run toward Hiyasmin, who was fighting near Liam, someone abruptly grazed my neck, causing a sudden pang of pain and breathlessness. I was taken aback, especially when I realized that no one was physically there choking me. There was no one in front of me. My body simply passed through the knights who were deeply engaged in combat with swords and elemental forces.

I struggled to breathe as the invisible force tightened deeper around my neck, making it difficult to even gasp for air.

A sudden wave of panic engulfed me, and everything turned dark, the sensation akin to being doused in icy water.

When my vision cleared, the first thing I saw was a grotesque creature that seemed to be the source of my suffocation.

Despite my attempts to move, the choking grip immobilized me entirely. In that moment of desperation, Commander Rivalz appeared behind the monster and swiftly locked his arms around its neck, halting its assault on me.

As the slimy grip around my neck loosened, I gasped for air, relief flooding through me. With a sense of urgency, I scanned my surroundings, trying to regain my composure and stand up.

The raging flames painted a vivid backdrop of destruction, casting flickering shadows that danced wildly around us. The crackling of burning wood and the scent of smoke filled the air, adding to the chaos unfolding before my eyes. The house, once a place of refuge, was now a battleground engulfed in fiery turmoil.