4. SELF-MANAGEMENT

There are times in life when you just ponder what the hell is going on and when you find out what the hell is actually going on, you close your eyes upon it 'cause it's a replica of hell itself.

Jayce furrowed at the words. She had mixed feelings: between the want of her being on top and making Ashton her full-time academic enemy for pressure on him, and the want of stopping this mother from doing anymore physical and mental harm, like how she was treated.

"Your father has been dead for years, and I've told you that he died of lung cancer when you were 7, why are you bringing this stupid topic up?" Kimberly scolded him.

Ashton sighed an exasperated breath, "He wasn't my birth father, right?" he asked casually, slyly, cunningly, in a desperate need, hoping for an answer.

Jayce picked up a random brick in the archway near the open areas, just opposite of her, and took out her favorite pen from her pocket.

"Is this why you've not been so diligent lately? Because of these thoughts?" Kimberly increased her tone and was about to strike his red cheek again when something held her hand down. A girl with brunette hair in a half-up-half-down who was wearing a checkered brown skirt with a matching blouse on top: Jayce.

Jayce grabbed her wrist and squeezed it.

"What is this?!" Kimberly shouted, scolding Jayce.

Jayce took the brick from her other hand and put it on Kimberly's hand. Ashton furrowed at the sight of her. She turned around to Ashton and gave an emotionless face, taking his hand and putting the pen on his palm.

"I made it easier," Jayce smiled, stepping back, "To kill each other,"

"What the hell?" Ashton cursed, wincing.

"Come on, it'll be fun. Blood and war, stabbing and hitting, or maybe like death," she confidently said, "You want me to get some popcorn too? I can do that," she said as if it was her usual routine of seeing people die.

Kimberly and Ashton furrowed at her, "Young girl, this is completely absurd,"

"You find it hard to raise a child, then you shouldn't have gotten a child. And you also hate the lies and pressure from your mother, so I've given you everything to unleash your anger on each other," she said innocently.

Ashton gave her a warning look, "Stay the hell out of my family business,"

"You both don't even act like family," Jayce stated, "Come on, use the brick to hit him and use the pen to stab her. Is it really that hard to do?" she lifted one side of her lip in a mocking manner.

"Who in the world are you? WHO ARE YOU TO ENTER OUR FAMILY BUSINESS?" Kimberly yelled.

"Jayce Brooks, pleasure," Jayce forcefully smiled in front of her.

"The scholar?"

"That isn't really the best first impression to your son's rival isn't it?" she acted pitifully, then she scowled, "Or is it?" Ashton glared at her sharply, in a way he was going to kill her soon.

Kimberly knitted her brows together and held up her fury. She had the feeling of wanting to scream that everyone in the town would hear. Her reputation could be ruined by her.

Reputations, reputations, Jayce thought, figuring all the ways she could destroy her and make it a fair play without having to destroy Ashton's mentality itself.

Kimberly glared at the two, and with the brick in her hand, she tossed it to where Jayce was standing, hoping it would scrape her knee or her leg, when Ashton pulled her wrist roughly, making her stumble beside him. The brick broke thumped loudly against the floor and some dust flowed around.

Jayce staggered at her shock as Ashton had a staring contest with his mother. His mom widened her eyes in a threatening motion and her breathing was unstable and of all things, she really did look like a psychopath.

She glared at them both then walked away as her heels clicked with the wooden floor harshly, initiating how annoyed she was. Jayce death-stared her as she walked away, her wrist still held by Ashton.

By the time she left the building, she looked back at Ashton who had also been looking at his mother's furious steps.

She jerked her hand away from him as he looked coldly at her, "So, you're gonna use this as my weakness now?" he asked immediately, frowning in a threatening manner.

"I'm not dumb enough to do that," she glowered sharply at him as she took his other hand and snatched her pen from it.

"No, because you're selfish enough to do it," he said.

She furrowed his brows on him.

"Right," he scoffed, "Why am I talking to you?" he asked himself, "You have never felt the pain," he took the brown envelope from the ground hastily.

Jayce kept her mouth shut and she scowled, feeling the need to punch him.

"Being pressured by someone feels like dying slowly. While you," Ashton backed away, "You're just pressuring yourself and that's not even half as bad," he turned around and walked away, in an unreadable emotion.

She breathed out a short breath to make sure she wasn't tense. She relaxed a little and took the brick on the ground and put it in the open areas. She shook her head and slapped her cheek to get her into motion before she went into another glimpse and rush of memories from her past.

She squeezed her pen in her hand. A pen from Izzie Brooks, with her name written in gold on it. A diamond stood on top of the matte black base, and this would be something that would prove her mother is Izzie.

~~~

Ashton had a secret. It was either his strength or weakness. But with this secret, he had found out the truth that his father wasn't dead: although he still had not known who his birth father really was.

His 'father' suffered from lung cancer when he was 6 years old and died at 7 years old. Yet from that age, he knew he was never his father.

On the day of the funeral, Ashton had begged to the sky, muttering to himself, "Dad come back, I miss you,"

Besides from all the things he could've imagined, what happened wasn't one of them. Something glowing touched his shoulder. Ashton sat under a tree, crying, and it was raining and it was dark, but this something shone too brightly to be true.

It was kind of scary actually. A month right before his father's death, he saw black smoke behind his father that followed him everywhere. He couldn't talk to his mother about it of course, she didn't care. But a month right after that smoke, he died.

And that thing that was touching his shoulder was illuminating in white and he turned around to see that mystery. He saw the sight of a glowing man, his own father covered in shimmers and he was as if translucent.

"Dad?" he asked immediately.

"You have no right to call me dad, actually," his father gave him a crooked smile, "I am not your father after all,"

Ashton was too young to realize what it meant, but as time came by, he knew that what he was saying might be true.

And he could only call the dead spirits if he thought about them.

There was something he discovered actually. It was called the Light. If dead spirits enter the Light, they are out of reach for Ashton to call. And when he was 9, his father went into the Light as he could no longer reach out to him. And by that, he might have thought that his father had figured out his birth father.

~~~

"Jayce Brooks has shown her true colors," Ashton muttered to himself as he lounged on his hanging chair that faced the greenery view of the forests. He had soda in his other hand, drinking.

Ashton wasn't thinking about his argument with his mother, it wasn't his first, it would've been more than the 30th. But then again, he only started an argument with her if it was really necessary, and it was. Even so, he never won an argument with his mother, no matter what topic it was about. She was always correct.

It had always been Ashton's way of finding someone's weakness. But this time, he didn't have to put up several tests as Jayce told her weakness right away.

He remembered the way she tensed and her expression dropped when he said that she has never been in pain before. He remembered how her fists clenched when he said that his mother's pressure was worse than her own pressure.

It was one simple test, one simple obstacle, and Jayce gave in to it immediately.

"She is in her own pressure, but that pain she seemed to remember," he thought, "That pain could be my weapon against her," he scoffed silently.

"Ash!" a voice broke in.

Ashton looked to his side and saw the two boys back from Eric's house.

"You good? Your cheek's red," Jaxon immediately asked.

"I'm all good," Ashton smiled to make them sure, "But I need some help from you guys,"

"What's that?" Eric asked.

"You know Amber Brooks, right?" Ashton asked.

"The twin?" Eric asked.

Ashton nodded, "I need something from her,"

~~~

The first day of school had come, and everyone had their uniforms on.

The girls had a brown skirt and brown outering with small-boxed patterns and a white shirt underneath it. A brown tie was placed from the collar up to the abdomen.

The boys had the same brown jacket but had long pants with the same pattern. They also had a white shirt and the same tie.

Everyone was given a woolen sweater as well.

Amber and Jayce were talking with other girls in front of the classroom, their first subject was Literature, but basically English. Ashton never found the subject interesting, especially the fact that the teacher just talked about texts. He preferred Math over it.

Eric flustered and looked at Ashton, winking at him and then approaching the two girls.

"Hey," he said with charm, "I think we met yesterday, I'm Eric if you remember,"

Amber blushed, while Jayce scowled silently at him. She threw her attention to Ashton behind him, and glared at him.

"Right, I'm Amber," she said.

Jayce smiled thinly, "Jayce,"

"Hi," Eric grinned, "Hey Amber, wanna sit together?"

"Me?" Amber queried.

"Yes, you, unless I'm calling your name wrong?" Eric asked.

"Oh," Amber chuckled, "No, I thought you wanted to sit with Jayce,"

"No," Jayce broke in immediately, staring calmly at Eric, "He's not my type," she walked past him and stopped in front of Ashton.

He gave her a cunning look. She looked at him calmly, then shoved past him, making sure she hit his shoulder.

Amber pursed her lips, "Sorry about her, she's a bit-"

"It's fine," Eric said, "You don't need to explain, let's go, shall we?"

Amber smiled sweetly and they both entered the class.

Jayce sat in the front of the class. The room was made of wood, and the whiteboard was still the chalk whiteboard. The teacher's desk stood up in front and the seats were connected to each other with a small platform for writing in front of them.

A boy stepped in beside her: Ashton.

"That's my seat, get out," he said, warning.

"Can't you see I'm sitting on it?" Jayce replied.

Ashton huffed, "You know we still have 10 minutes before the lesson begins," he said, "Wanna fight?" he leaned in to her, whispering.

Jayce took her favorite pen and spun it in her hand, then stabbed it in between Ashton's fingers that was placed on the table. It made quite a loud sound, but the amount of noisiness in that classroom muted it.

Ashton flustered, the pen still in between his fingers, stabbed through the wood.

"Does that answer your question?" she raised a brow.

Ashton huffed and pulled out the pen and threw it on the table. He took off his bag and sat down beside her. She knitted her brows. Ashton told Jaxon to sit beside Eric.

"Are you really testing me? And you think I'm dumb enough to not guess your strategy? Amber doesn't know anything about me," Jayce said casually.

If they're distant, it's easier to use Amber, Ashton thought wickedly in his head.

"Oh, really?" Ashton said, "I wouldn't know, Eric just likes her,"

"Nonsense crap," she blurted out.

"I want to know you, Jayce," he said in a soothing voice.

"Same," Jayce smiled sweetly, "I want to know you too," her face went into a serious stare, "But I don't think our purposes of doing so are to fall in love,"

Ashton stayed silent, "Why make someone you don't even know your enemy? Why make someone who is going to be your competitor your enemy? Isn't it better as friends? Less guilt and pressure on each other," he asked.

"You really have a shallow mind don't you?" she asked.

Ashton furrowed his brows, waiting for a response.

"People work better under pressure," Jayce said, "As enemies, there will be less compassion so you can ruthlessly destroy your enemy without any disturbance. As friends, there will be more compassion that will lead to more guilt and more pressure. Look at the bigger picture, moron,"

Ashton scoffed, "You must really think you're on the top of the world, don't you?"

"I think I'm on top of those people who are trying to be on top," she responded.

~~~

Literature was something Jayce loved, and she was very observant in the class. The teacher, Mr Louis, was an old man, but this was a way to become his favorite student.

Ashton barely paid attention, he just heard what he understood. Jayce found this as a way to beat him in the subject.

~~~

Class ended and everyone was preparing to go to Math class. They were all walking in the hallway. And it was one chatty school.

"Aww, you love puppies?" Amber queried.

Eric nodded, "I adore them,"

"Oh my we have so many things alike," Amber exclaimed.

Eric chuckled, "We do, don't we?"

Jaxon flustered beside them.

"Let's have lunch together, shall we?" she offered.

He nodded back and smiled.

"Don't," Jayce broke in from behind.

Amber furrowed and turned around. Eric stayed calm while Ashton joined in the conversation.

"Okay, first of all," Amber started, "Just because you're older than me by a few minutes, doesn't give you the right to control my life as if you're a mom," she stated, Ashton's little trick was becoming a torture to Jayce, "And second, can't you think about my feelings? Your younger twin right here has never had someone to actually like them, you had a girlfriend. I think I do deserve this and I can do anything with my life,"

Jayce pursed her lips and stared at her when her phone rang. Ashton peeped from behind in the middle of the drama. The name 'Jasmine' on the screen.

"See?" Amber scoffed, "Your girlfriend's calling you," she turned around and walked away.

Jayce huffed and sighed, answering the phone and shoving past Ashton roughly.

~~~

Ashton followed behind her slowly as she went behind the lockers and took the phone call.

"Hey Jaz," Jayce gave out an exclamation of joy.

Ashton hid behind the other wall to hear their conversation.

"I need something to tell you," Jasmine said on the phone, only hearable to Jayce.

While Ashton was figuring out what she was saying.

"What's that?"

"Let's break up,"

"Excuse me?" Jayce said in disbelief.

"Long-distance relationships never work," Jasmine stated, "And I can't bare to not see my lover for weeks or days,"

"So you're breaking up with me just because of that? And you're sure you're not seeing someone else?" Jayce's voice broke.

Ashton furrowed, her mentality is being shaken right now.

"You don't have to lie to me about it, Jaz," Jayce said, "Just say it, I'll move on. If someone can't find worth in me, I'll find someone who does,"

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Forget about it," she said, "Have a good life with your girlfriend," she hung up the phone and pressed block.

Jasmine was that type of person. Jayce knew, it was dumb of her thinking she could change her. Jaz was easily attracted to other girls, and easily ended her relationships. But Jayce laughed at her past thoughts thinking she could be her last relationship once and for all.

Turning around, she bumped into Ashton. She furrowed at him.

Ashton gave a slight grin, "How are you feeling? Broken? Desperate?" he queried in a wanting way.

Jayce turned her frown into a cunning smile, stepping closer to him that he was pressed against a wall. She touched his face lightly and he winced.

Ashton froze in confusion, "What the heck are you-"

He was cut off when Jayce's soft hand went from his cheek and onto his throat, grabbing it with full force, choking him, "You wish,"

Ashton's face went red as his airway was blocked with her pressure as she stared at him with psychotic eyes. His face reddened and couldn't get her grip off. When she felt it was enough to give him a warning she stepped back, letting go of his neck and he fell against the wall, trying to catch a breath.

"You psycho-"

"Don't you dare think that this will break me. Why cry over things that left you and when you should be thinking of things waiting for you?" she stated and walked away.

~~~

"You good?" Jaxon approached Ashton.

It was a few hours after the choking, they were assembling in the canteen for lunch.

"I guess," Ashton replied.

"Yeah, definitely with that red mark on your neck,"

Ashton gave him a look.

"Hey, Ash!" Eric approached the two, "Sorry, this Amber girl is just so talkative I don't have time to talk to you. What the heck happened to your neck?" he said,

"Jayce choked me, her girlfriend broke up with her," Ashton said in a nutshell.

"Ouch," Eric curled his lip, "Anyways, let's go for lunch. Amber's waiting," he said bitterly.

Amber waved at the three boys and they gave her fake soft smiles.

Jayce, who was watching from the other side, gave them a disgusted scoff. She took her tray and went to Amber.

Amber furrowed, "What the hell-"

"Jasmine broke up with me, I think you can't get angry at me for anything," Jayce said emotionlessly as she sat down and started eating.

Amber furrowed and sat down as the three boys sat on the opposite and started eating.

Jayce gave Ashton a look before he ate. He threw his attention elsewhere.

Amber started chatting about random stuff like her old school and her old friends and her life and Eric listened as if he was interested which he was not.

After lunch, there were a few other subjects before it was dismissal. After dismissal, everyone went back to their dorms and continued their personal activities.

Immediately after dinner at the canteen, which was situated near the dorm building, Ashton brought his brown envelope to the library while Eric took Amber around the boarding school. So far, there was no useful information about Jayce that Ashton could use to destroy her.

~~~

Jayce went and brought her books to the library, and sat at the tables which were covered by a row of bookshelves. Ashton sat at the other side of those bookshelves.

All she wanted to do was become something far from her mother. And she knew all along there was nothing possible from that.

While Ashton did it to please his mother, although he had no idea if he was willing to or not.

She stood up and went to one of the bookshelves on that row to take a book for history, where she could do advanced reading. The curriculum of the school wasn't tricky, but if there were open-ended questions, she would know how to answer them fully.

Ashton was studying math, which he loved. And apart from all things, he was on an advanced level of it. He stepped up and went to take a book on the opposite bookshelf of Jayce.

As he took one of the books, he saw through the spaces. a girl with the familiar hair he knew. He only thought of one thing: the psychopath who choked him.

He took his book and walked to the other end. Going to the bookshelf side she was in and approaching her.

Jayce took her eyes off and heard the hard footsteps approaching her. She frowned at the sight of Ashton.

"Tell me one thing," he said harshly, backing her up against the shelf, "The reason behind your hard work to become the best,"

"I just purely want to do it," she said sweetly.

"Don't act sweet," he stated, "You freaking choked me,"

"And I will do it again if you don't get out of my way," she pushed him away and walked out of the row, going to her table.

He scoffed and scowled, not in the mood to study anymore. He took his brown envelope. From the space between the bookshelf, she saw him leaving at an awkward pace.

She saw this as an opportunity to find his weakness as he was madly annoyed. She stood up and followed him.

Eric and Amber were having a tour in the library and met Ashton in the corner.

Ashton winced at what he was seeing. He wasn't smiling, he was in panic. Black smoke following Eric. He bumped the wall next to him, in frustration in disbelief. He felt his heart beating so fast and his brain malfunctioning about all the things he was trying to comprehend. Why? Why must it be him?

Jayce flinched at the sight as she hid behind a wall, "Why the hell is he panicking?" she heard his heavy breaths.

Eric flustered and approached him, "Ash, you good bro? Ash?"

Ashton looked at him blankly. The black smoke was still on him. His trauma was haunting him back.

Eric Rodriguez's future was clear: he was going to die.